Break or Continue a Long Term Relationship? Help

[TheSamir]

I would like to hear this forum's community and LEO feedback.

I am 25 years old and I've been in a relationship with my GF for 6 years now. I know her for almost 9 years but the first 2 years was just me chasing after her and getting on the "friend zone". We dated for 3 years and after that, we decided to give a time out because we were always arguing, she said I didn't give her attention, I took her for granted and we break up. After 3 months I met another girl that I've dated for 3 months, and then things went wrong because she was not trustworthy in terms of fidelity. 1 month after this, me and my past GF got back together and we've been in a relationship for another 3 years.

We argue so many times, I did want to break up other times because I feel we are forcing a relationship just because we've been together for so long. But she came after me and convinced me otherwise because she loves me, I love her (she's like family) but deep down I have always this feeling that there's some tension between our personalities. 

I am in a tough position in my life, I Tried a business and failed, now I moved to another country to find a job and have a good career, I am unemployed dealing with my mental stuff of being unemployed. So we broke up now and become friends.

During my "Business venture" I was always broke, I couldn't go out with her without thinking of how much money I would spend on dinner, gas, cinema. Business took a big chunk of my resources.

She and my mother agreed that I become a different person when I tried to build a business (Stressed, lack attention, unmotivated, sad, angry, etc)

She's a great girl in which I trust absolutely, but we argue so much, maybe it's my fault, IDK.

I feel always confused "should we break up and  follow different paths" or "Am I just tricking myself into thinking that things will be better with another person?"

I would love to hear all you guys and gals opinions and also LEO. Thank you!

Edited June 6, 2020 by TheSamir

[Verg0]

What do you argue about? 

[Hello from Russia]

How often do arguments happen? I see you say they happen pretty regularly, but to what extent? Once a month, once a week, once per 2 weeks, once every 2 days?

[lostmedstudent]

if you moved to a new country to start a new life, better to leave things behind. you mean shes staying back or going with you? 

[SamueLSD]

There isn't really a 'right' choice. No matter what you do, you will likely regret / have doubts about your decision.

Personally, I say its always worth making one last attempt to fix things. Have a long talk with her, try and resolve problems with communication. Figure out why you guys are arguing. Work on yourself, too. 

If nothing changes, and you can see that it is unlikely anything will change, get out of there and focus on your own well-being.  

[TheSamir]

Thank you all for your feedback.

Well, we broke up (we still talk and I don't know if she accepts it). I think I have to live a bit more and meet new people.

It's a decision I made, whatever the consequences.

[integral]

This might come in handy for the next one. 

[Arcangelo]

If there is a doubt there is no doubt

[Inva]

On 03/05/2021 at 3:57 AM, TheSamir said:

Thank you all for your feedback.

Well, we broke up (we still talk and I don't know if she accepts it). I think I have to live a bit more and meet new people.

It's a decision I made, whatever the consequences.

She sounds like she's at least very supportive of you in one sense including her mother, keeping her as a friend would be a good idea. All the best

[TheSamir]

On 07/06/2020 at 0:25 PM, SamueLSD said:

There isn't really a 'right' choice. No matter what you do, you will likely regret / have doubts about your decision.

Personally, I say its always worth making one last attempt to fix things. Have a long talk with her, try and resolve problems with communication. Figure out why you guys are arguing. Work on yourself, too. 

If nothing changes, and you can see that it is unlikely anything will change, get out of there and focus on your own well-being.  

It's true, No matter the choice I will always wonder if it would be better the other way around... Thanks for the feedback

[hamedsf]

women tell something but they might mean another thing. 

and some women might seek argument just because they get the excitement out of it (adrenaline effect!)

If you wanna stop it, create excitements in and out of bedroom (provide her fun and excitement and she'll be yours forever) 

after providing those joyful experiences, if she stopped, that would mean her excitement wasn't provided, if she didn't, might be good opportunity to get out of it. 

Edited August 25, 2021 by hamedsf

[Tudo]

2 hours ago, hamedsf said:

women tell something but they might mean another thing. 

Totally