Flowerfaeiry

Pretty sure I'm being cheated on

13 posts in this topic

and lied to. 

Yet they won't admit so I'm left with just using the info I have. 

So much of me knows that I'm holding myself back being in this relationship, yet I can't fully convince myself to leave :(

I don't feel strong enough. 

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@Flowerfaeiry break up as soon as possible.. you know what's right for you, there is no use staying in a toxic relationship it will only make you feel bitter.

You are strong.

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Of course I don't know exactly what's going on in your life, but I believe you made the right choice, if you already admit that a big part of you knows that you were holding yourself back in that relationship. I had the same feeling in my past relationship and believe me it reeeeeally sucks, but even after only 3 days of fully breaking up my head has become a lot clearer and I am more and more certain that it was the right choice. I get that it's extremely scary to leave a relationship because you've learned to lean onto your partner for security and selfworth. It sounds like we are in a similar situation right now, if you want you can message me about it.

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@Flowerfaeiry You don't feel strong enough because you've passed your ball to someone else waiting for them to kick it back.

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21 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

and lied to. 

Yet they won't admit so I'm left with just using the info I have. 

So much of me knows that I'm holding myself back being in this relationship, yet I can't fully convince myself to leave :(

I don't feel strong enough. 

You should leave because your gut never lies. You don't have to have written proof of cheating to actually realize. Leave. 

Ps. Except if you want an open relationship 😁then stay and enjoy yourself. But don't make this an excuse to stay. Look within for more info. 

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@Flowerfaeiry You will know when you're at your breaking point. 

Start distancing yourself. Go to the gym, go out with friends. Do whatever you can to start preparing to be on your own again. 

Spend less and less time with him. 

If you are one of those people who needs to see definitive evidence (like me) realize this is from a lack of self-love. Then, search for evidence when you can. Leaves his phone unlocked? Go through it. 

Do whatever you can to give yourself the strength to get out. 

ALSO, download audible and start listening to this book today: Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft

It teaches you how to leave an abuser and how to spot his lies/inconsistencies. 


"Some people, not me, are a little concerned. Some people, not me, feel you...might be...
demonstrating a failure to show appreciation."
-Russell Bufalino

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@Flowerfaeiry  You may never know for certain about the cheating... so maybe leave for you... so you won't be held back... you are omnipotent/ infinitely powerful, you just forgot ;)

even if you dont have typical "violence" there seems to be a betrayal of your intimate life... so, in theory, unless they are strict in your community, you should be able to call a safe house and at least do safety planning to get out of the relationship... if you need support, talking over how to get out, and/ or a temporary place to stay if you live together, this can really help.

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I cheated and lied to my ex-girlfriend for 4 years, I unconsciously hurted her a lot but now that I'm aware why and how it happened I can see that she also played a role on that. 

We were both very attached to each other, being in a relationship since we were 15.

I was unable to understand and express how I felt, and she was very upset, judgemental, but also repressive. We both repressed how we felt all the time. Also we were both very self-centered. 

What kept it stuck is that we never had the awkward yet important conversations. We never really adressed our problems, we never talked about how we felt, and how to work things together.

So if I have some advice is this:

Allow yourself to be vulnerable, to say what you think and feel, even if you don't really understand it, just say it. Have those awkward conversations, for real, you'll save both a lot of time, that'll get you both outside of the cage. 

For me it took 4 years to accept I didn't wanted to be with her and have the courage to tell her. If I have done it before we both would have had a lot of less fear, stress, pain, lies, misunderstandings, and silent fights. We'd been free. 

Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen. 

 

I know its hard, I really do. 

Much love ❤️

 


Connect to Create ☼♡

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that's understandable...

and this kind of life situation goes to show you to be"independently happy" and if you could set this state of being for yourself, you'll see that your prospective relationships will grow stronger.

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On 17/05/2020 at 6:11 AM, Flowerfaeiry said:

and lied to. 

Yet they won't admit so I'm left with just using the info I have. 

So much of me knows that I'm holding myself back being in this relationship, yet I can't fully convince myself to leave :(

I don't feel strong enough. 

If I can run wild and the other person won't go anywhere, what is going to happen? You don't sound happy. Maybe reconnect with family and friends is a better option. 

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