Awakening experiences NOT from psychedelics Thread

[Nivsch]

How was your awakening experience, and What did you think at those moments?

If you can share even only it - great.

If you remember more, the question is - What were the levels of realization that built what you think today?

For example:

1.Last year I firstly felt in my direct experience that I have no control of my thinking and for me it was kind of basic or newbie form of awakening.

2. After three months I had an additional realization that when I try to accept my feeling, I'm still not fully accept because of the trying Itself (awakening 1.1.2).

3. ...

4. ...

5. And thats why I realized we are god (Me personally not there yet. Also maybe it happened to you only in stage 11. it just an example).

Why is it important?

The vast majority of awakening shares mention almost only the end point of the process ("I realized I am god") and because of that, it is very difficult and not much helpful for people to be motivated because its all high above their head.

I feel that I really want to know if other people also realized what I realized, because it will strength the validity (sense of realness) of what I felt and may encourage me. Thats MY personal motivation for this thread. But maybe it will be helpful to you too for another reasons. 

If people will share all the tiers of their awakening process, we gonna have a spiritual MAP that can be super helfull to people to know approximately were they are.

Of course, NOT to replace inner work, but to strength people in the process, motivate them, make them feel less alone, make their realizations feel more real to them (because other people realized it too) etc.

But one important rule for this thread - Not psychedelics triggered awakenings. Only awakening that were spontaneous or during spiritual exercises. Why? Because Psychedelics moves you directly from A to F, and the whole point of this thread is to make ourselves see also the B, C and E.

 

 

Edited January 31, 2020 by Nivsch

[Commodent]

In middle school I would be walking my dog every day after school. While walking I would be looking at the trees, and after some time it was as if I become one with the experience and completely merged with the trees and the sound of rustling leaves. I would have these experiences nearly ever day, but I didn't really think much about it at the time. It wasn't until about a decade later that I found out that it had a name; samadhi.

I don't really think anything is more blissful than going for long walks in nature with my dog, and I think I can attribute most of my spiritual growth to those moments.

[Ambalams]

Three years ago, I died from an overdose. My husband brought me back to life w a plea to god and a touch—he felt life energy spread from him into me. Lol I swear on my life. I was DEAD. I have a memory of looking down on my dead sweaty face. i had been working on dying my entire life, in a sense. So this experience really jolted me. I still got high on heroin a few times, switched to meth and transcended the duality of sanity/insanity lol. That way sounds much nicer than it is. The realization of reality being more than it seemed really blew my mind for a while. I sort of repressed it, honestly. It was TOO BIG to look at for me at the time. But dying saved my fucking life lol. No. It was the living portion, really. 
 

Weird stuff started happening to me. I’d get these amazing insights on the causes of my anxiety, for example. I started on this really deep process of life purification. Standing up for myself, coming face to face w my own toxic bullshit, forgiving myself, forgiving others etc. Also, I now realize, I was deprogramming myself. I had no idea at the time that’s what I was doing. It was all instinctual, led by my intuition. I have stumbled my way into enlightenment lol. Now I’m almost backtracking to see how the hell I did it. 
 

Anyway, after the extremely hard life purge threw me into an intense mental breakdown, I was closer to sealing the suicidal deal more than ever, clarity came over me. This was a year ago btw. Yeah. After I lived. I’m stubborn af. That moment of clarity was basically “ppl are doing their best w what they know.” And I just kind of “snapped out of it.” 
 

That’s when I got mostly sober. I still drank and smoked weed occasionally. I started reading a briefer history of time by Stephen hawking w my husband. We talked about time relativity and consciousness and that’s when I realized pantheism. It’s all consciousness. The universe is aware etc. 
 

April of last year, I had a mystical experience. I saw this pattern of energy in the sky during a storm that answered my questions w thunder and gave me thoughts about how we’re all infinite collections of interwoven systems. Cells make up our bodies make up societies make up the world make up the solar system etc to infinity. I realized we are one and all that jazz. Also the shape of existence is like this infinite torus. I had no idea wtf a torus was lol. It’s been close to a year and I’m still blown away by this experience. I actually watched ONE of Leo’s videos in the week before this, talking about enlightenment, what you’ll gain etc. A part of me understood it, but a larger part of me didn’t. So when I had this experience, it tied everything together. I have been totally different ever since. I did drink for a week bc of the realization that I’m basically alone talking to myself in a void draped in illusions lol. That was a hard realization. 
 

the last time I took hallucinogens I was 17. I’m 31 now. It was just my time. And I am an extremely honest, kind, and positive person. I find the best in ppl. I craved understanding and truth above all else—above my feelings and wishes, and those of others. Everything else is bullshit, vapid distractions. Like I said, I wish I had a better map of how the hell I did it. Tons of pain, feeling incredibly alone, grappling w insanity aren’t great things to put in an enlightenment pamphlet lol. “Come find the secrets of the universe! Just be ready to kill yourself for it first!” 

I still have times when I go low consciousness. But it’s bc I’m falling back into old habits. When I’m not working on my purpose. It’s pretty easy to boost myself back up tho. I’m lucky in that regard. 
 

all the shit Leo says is legit. Like I said, I’ve been watching him since April, and he’s definitely helped me validate the conclusions I’ve come to over the years. For me, it’s important I come to my own realizations and then find things that support or deny. And I do attempt to play devils advocate w myself. God always wins lol. I can’t even watch fluff tv without god coming into play ?? I cant get away from myself! Fuuuuck!! ?

 

I will say this tho about the drugs. Is that such a great idea? Isn’t that the ego in play? Trying to control enlightenment, have it on your terms? Especially when it’s so prevalent. It’s a tool, not the whole belt. No judgment, just a thought. But I fell into it. I’d probably be trying to do the same thing. 
 

Anyway. That’s my story. Thanks for reading. 

[Nivsch]

On 31.1.2020 at 8:37 PM, Commodent said:

In middle school I would be walking my dog every day after school. While walking I would be looking at the trees, and after some time it was as if I become one with the experience and completely merged with the trees and the sound of rustling leaves. I would have these experiences nearly ever day, but I didn't really think much about it at the time. It wasn't until about a decade later that I found out that it had a name; samadhi.

I don't really think anything is more blissful than going for long walks in nature with my dog, and I think I can attribute most of my spiritual growth to those moments.

Sounds very interesting. 

Walking can be a great spiritual practice in my opinion.

Edited February 2, 2020 by Nivsch

[Nahm]

@Nivsch In meditation, like a light switch, ‘There’s only One / All is actually One’. Then with practices & retreats understanding filled in, until understanding was the same One. 

@Ambalams Wow. ??♥️

[King Merk]

My first awakening experience while completely sober was in a sauna during a 6 day fast.

I sat down to meditate in the sauna as I usually do and immediately my face started dissolving starting with the tip of my nose. I continued to dissolve until I almost entirely lost my sense of self which scared the fuck out of me. It’s like I didn’t even have an awareness of my body any more.

I got lost in this timeless void for about 20minutes when suddenly my eyes snapped open and I looked around the sauna in awe. I think I was freaking out the other guys in the sauna lol not entirely sure what happened during those 20min but they were all looking at me funny.

Interestingly, I wasn’t sweating at all which is wild considering it was 180 degrees in the sauna. Usually after 15 minutes I’m drenched.

There was definitely a deeper level surrender I could’ve went into but I was scared shitless to completely dissolve.

There was a very thin string that ran through my nose and down into my chest, pretty much the same route your breath takes. It was all of “me” that was left. I just couldn’t cut it. I just couldn’t muster the courage to do it. 
 

Everything had dissolved away but it. I think if I’d have cut that “life string” I’d have died 

Edited February 3, 2020 by King Merk

[MAYA EL]

@King Merk that's technically not sober seeing as how you were on your 6th day of a fast the body goes through crazy changes the first 2 weeks of a fast and definitely was the Catalyst for an experience.

Please dont take it the wrong way I mean it purely in a informational/ insight kind of way and dont want you to think I'm being a dick or something like that.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, MAYA EL said:

that's technically not sober seeing as how you were on your 6th day of a fast the body goes through crazy changes the first 2 weeks of a fast and definitely was the Catalyst for an experience.

This. We need to redefine how we think about drugs, and what it means to be sober.

I don't know about you guys, but I have heavy stage blue anti drug conditioning and it prevented me from utilizing psychedelics for a long time.

Psychedelics used wisely can cut the learning curve to enlightenment by a significant degree.

[blankisomeone]

@Raptorsin7 dude I used to be very shy, and I used to try all the time not to be. And you know how that changed litereally overnight? When I had my first alcohol Lol I got drunk and became very social at a party. I didn't get crazy drunk, just the right amount. The next day I realized I didn't have to be shy anymore... thats an example of an "altered state of consciousness" that helped me in my normal life. If used right, obviously. I mean, maybe the same thing can happen to me through psychadelics concerning the spiritual, idk. But I also have heavy stage blue anti drug conditioning

[blankisomeone]

One of my spiritual insights happened through self-inquiry.

I just started with the basic foundation: do I exist? Yes.

• I exist. Obviously.
• How do I know that I exist? Well, because here I am.
• How do I know for sure that I exist, though? Because, look. This moment right now is proof that I exist. This feeling of being here. This overall sensation of experiencing the world around me. Nothing can deny the fact that here I am. No amount of explanation can say otherwise. No amount of denying will make me just vanish. I just know for a fact that I exist and no further explanation must be given.
• Ok, I exist. I keep saying I exist. That's a fact. But who am I that exists? Who is existing here?

 

After getting that out of the way, I started to analyse everything available to me in the present moment and tried to grab on to who I am. I know very well that I exist because just sitting here and doing this analysis is more than enough to prove it. But who am I?

Ok, so working with what I have I started to try to see who I am.

• Am I that chair? Obviously not. I look at the chair. If I look at the chair, then I'm not the chair. If I close my eyes, the sight of the chair isn't there anymore, but I am. I'm still here. So that proves that I'm not it.
• Am I that table? By the same logic, no. I'm not that table. I look at it.
• Am I the ceiling? By the same logic, no.

-> Therefore I'm certain that I can't possibly be the things I look at. Whatever I look at, I'm not that. Simple and obvious.

Then, I did the same thing with the things I hear. Becoming as conscious as I could about the fact that I'm not what I hear.

Same thing with feelings.

Then, the same thing with thoughts.

When I got to analyzing the THOUGHTS, that's when it hit me. Because I had been running my whole life thinking I was this voice inside my head, but now it's pretty obvious that I'm not that, although most of the times it takes hold of me. For a minute or two, I started walking around my room and looking at stuff and everything was so bright... Everything was still existing without my mind labeling the things... It was very peaceful and I wanted to stay in that state forever! But yeah it didn't last long, because thoughts came rushing back in ;P

---

Right now, I'm still very attached to my body. I know conceptually that I'm not my body, because if I feel my body, if I move my body, if I see my body, then I'm obviously not my body, I'm not the thing that I feel, I'm not the thing that I move. Following literally the same logic as for objects, feelings, sounds and thoughts. I know conceptually that I'm not my body, but don't know it yet for a fact. I hope you understand what I mean.

[King Merk]

@MAYA EL Few things:

1. I agree, the fast was definitely a catalyst to the experience.

2. I was also on the 3rd day of my 6 day fast when this happened. I hadn’t previously clarified that.

3. We can argue on the definition of “sobriety” all day. 

Sure, if I fast it definitely alters my state of consciousness and can be the catalyst  of an awakening experience.

However, if I eat a cookie it alters my state of consciousness. If I meditate it alters my state of consciousness. If I stub my toe it alters my state of consciousness. If my mom dies that alters my state of consciousness. If I do self inquiry it alters my state of consciousness. If I consume LSD it alters my state of consciousness? If I watch a YouTube video it can alter my state of consciousness. Literally anything can catalyze an awakening.

Am I sober in any of these situations?

What does it even mean to be “sober“?

Isn’t “sober” vs “not sober” an arbitrary distinction created by the mind? 

This thread is about awakening experiences while not under the influence of a psychedelic. Let’s not split hairs on minutia. 

 

[Cocolove]

On a meditation retreat I had a cessation of all experience, and when phenomenon came back, I had no conceptual framework, no I, no world, no maya. After a few seconds the thought entered my head, what's this? and then I remembered, oh I'm human, I'm on a meditation retreat. I was just doing kriya yoga and having a mystical experience and everything disapeared. It was interested to see everything come back into place as a result of my thinking

[Elisabeth]

I had no real awakening experience yet, but I've had a few experiences of not being in control of my body or whatever was happening. The clearest one happened during holotropic breathwork for an instant. "I" was still there observing the happening, but kinda unaffected. Less clear experiences happened when listening to guided meditations. Also through rope bondage I've had experiences of reduced thinking and hightened consciousness, sensitivity, of flow and love. I'd call these opening of the heart, or peak experiences in Maslow's sense, not quite awakenings. 

I think for me self-actualization 1.0 started with going to some yoga lessons and learning to be mindful of the body. Self-actualization 2.0 is acceptance of emotions. That's the basis making these experiences possible for me. 

[ThomasT]

Following leo's guided self inquiry I got my first experience of nothingness. 

This was before any psychedelics.

Did not last long and I could not really make sense of it. My heart started going 100mi/h and i felt a lot of fear.

Nothing compared to later psychedelic experiences, but glad it happened when it did.

[TheAvatarState]

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