Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Arcangelo]

20 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

22 hours ago, Fede83 said:

Why the good guy seems condemned to not found a girl which like him For what he is ?

Because most girls have had dates with high value men. These men are not good nor nice they are arrogant assholes because they have options.

You don't have options, that's why you are so nice. You are basically kissing a girl's ass thinking that if you kiss her ass long enough she might give it to you.

So, you by not being an arrogant asshole tells her you are NOT a high  value man with a lot of options. If you don't have options something must be wrong with you. The girl thinks: ''Why would i like you if no other woman likes you.''

Your SMV is determined by how other women perceive you not by how you, society or your friends, your boss etc. perceive you.

My comments are not gonna be welcomed because this forum is blue pilled AF.

 

22 hours ago, Fede83 said:

Is more a curse than a gift being a honest and good guy ?

Yes. Absolutely. IME guys that lie the most are the ones that get the most (and the best) women. There is a direct correlation between being dishonest and a liar, and having success with women.

Again my comment is not gonna be welcomed because this forum is blue pilled AF.

 

22 hours ago, Fede83 said:

And what’s wrong with a good guy who stand for himself

Everything, because good guys have no value. For a woman to get a nice guy is not that difficult, because they are everywhere, there is no challenge.

 

And women in here are gonna tell you

22 hours ago, Anna1 said:

Good guys make good boyfriend's, husband's and father's!

OFC we do. But you girls are not attracted to nice guys, you actually feel repulsed by them. It's only when a woman realizes that she is not getting any younger and SETTLES for a nice guy right around when they're 30 something.

And that's the bottom line. That's just the way it is.

Now i am gonna lay back and watch how the whole forum tells me i am wrong, deluded, trapped and projecting go ahead, it amuses me.

I am teaching you, not the otherwise. Remember I am 40 yo. Respect your elder's wisdom.

I didn't complain about anything IDK what you are talking about, I gave up complaining when i started taking massive fucking action working on myself.

I don't play the blame game at all. If anything, EVERYTHING is my fault. I am the one that should be 100% blamed for my lack of social skills.

And what i mean by the best women is the hottest.

 

 

Arc

 

 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Arcangelo

[Nickyy]

13 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

I didn't complain about anything IDK what you are talking about, I gave up complaining when i started taking massive fucking action working on myself.

I don't play the blame game at all. If anything, EVERYTHING is my fault. I am the one that should be 100% blamed for my lack of social skills.

And what i mean by the best women is the hottest.

 

 

Arc

 

 

Arc, you're doing what you need to do, and it's admirable that you're trying. It's all a learning curve. I appreciate your comments on the forum, it all helps. 

[Fede83]

I still thinking woman and mans struggle this days to find authenticity,something unique different than other cliche,if u stay uniformed to the collective idea of “the right man “ isn’t that too unnatural at some point? The expression of unique traits isn’t something u must be proud for no? 

Deconstruct myself to readapt to the good role model sound so weird,boosting confidence and autoesteem is what I aim for but for be a better me..not for be the better me to fit in the woman game don’t u think ?

Edited November 19, 2019 by Fede83

[Ananta]

@Arcangelo I said what I had to say.

In your post you're saying women want arrogant assholes, that are dishonest and a liars.

Think what you want, but its gender stereotyping at its finest!

I'm not projecting. I can read.

[Girzo]

Girls are not attracted to being nice, but that doesn't mean you can't be nice. Just play a role a little bit when you want you both to get aroused, move the interaction towards sexual vibe. Apart from those moments, you can be nice as much as you like, as is true for you.

I have been nice all my life and still get girls from time to time. You can judge how attractive I am, personally I think I am 6.5 out of 10, in terms of physical appearance. 

[JustThinkingAloud]

10 minutes ago, Fede83 said:

I still thinking woman and mans struggle this days to find authenticity,something unique different than other cliche,if u stay uniformed to the collective idea of “the right man “ isn’t that too unnatural at some point? The expression of unique traits isn’t something u must be proud for no? 

Deconstruct myself to readapt to the good role model sound so weird,boosting confidence and autoesteem is what I aim for but for be a better me..not for be the better me to fit in the woman game don’t u think ?

Mahatma Gandhi:  You must be the change you wish to see in the world. 

[JustThinkingAloud]

2 minutes ago, Girzo said:

Girls are not attracted to being nice,

Are you a girl to know that?

[Arcangelo]

Alright here is my direct experience. This forum values direct experience.

I have been nice, good and honest my whole life, and i have sucked with women my whole life. It only makes sense to me to act the opposite way to get the results that i need.

I need sex.

I have seen with my very own eyes how dishonest arrogant asshole liars ''score'' in front of me. Specially the liars.

Remember the movie: something about Mary.

Is just like that.

 

 

 

Arc

Edited November 19, 2019 by Arcangelo

[Girzo]

@JustThinkingAloud No girl I had been with was ever aroused by saying nice things. You can be an exception, but that doesn't change what I have experienced. Of course, we can say nice things to each other when cuddling, etc. But at some point, you have to drop it if you want to get sexual.

[Ananta]

9 minutes ago, Girzo said:

Girls are not attracted to being nice

Yes, they are, but you need a bit more then "just" nice.

Just like a nice girl would need a bit more, then being nice for you to be interested, right?

There's liking someone's looks, humor, intelligence, personality, having good chemistry, etc...plus, they are nice. 

[Bill W]

Be careful associating direct experience as some kind of gold standard. I know what you mean about the forum having high regard for direct experience. But most "direct experience" still relies on an interpretation and often an underlying assumption or belief. 

I've seen a lot of posts similar to "I've had such and such direct experience and therefore it is true". Or "I've had a direct experienced and therefore it is verified". 

The direct experience is only as valid as the mind that creates it. 

[Nickyy]

20 minutes ago, Girzo said:

@JustThinkingAloud No girl I had been with was ever aroused by saying nice things. You can be an exception, but that doesn't change what I have experienced. Of course, we can say nice things to each other when cuddling, etc. But at some point, you have to drop it if you want to get sexual.

There's more to it than this.

It sounds (forgive me if I'm wrong) like you're looking at it from one piece of the pie.

Attraction is more than the words you say. More than techniques. 

It's mostly about being rooted in your body and feeling. Feeling every slight movement of what's happening in the present moment. Feeling the presence of the woman you are with on mostly an energetic level. 

It has very very little to do with anything else. 

This act of being rooted in the lower half of the body takes men away from their mind (away from the chatter) and puts awareness on her which creates spontenous relaxation in the feminine (it doesn't matter who's feminine, a mans feminine can be relaxed and aroused by a man who is on his purpose and clear with his intention) as I explained in my post about the most present man I'd ever come across.

In this state you can say whatever you want, you can be nice or you can be cheeky. As long as you are not in your head, but instead are putting awareness into her and feeling her from your core, your heart centre, that is what all women are looking for in their relationships with the masculine.

When you are in the now you are expressing the masculine which then opens up the feminine.

That's the level it all works on. 

 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Nickyy

[JustThinkingAloud]

10 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

I need sex.

Here's your problem. We can sense when you're with us just because you want sex. There's more to a relationship than that, even though sex is very important (50%?).

11 minutes ago, Girzo said:

@JustThinkingAloud No girl I had been with was ever aroused by saying nice things. You can be an exception, but that doesn't change what I have experienced. Of course, we can say nice things to each other when cuddling, etc. But at some point, you have to drop it if you want to get sexual.

Why do you have to drop it? It got you that far, why to drop something that works?

[Ananta]

10 minutes ago, Girzo said:

But at some point, you have to drop it if you want to get sexual.

I can only speak for myself but I was talking generally nice, not nice every second of the day or couldn't get down and dirty in the bedroom. 

[Arcangelo]

All that i know is that being nice doesn't work, maybe you gotta be a mix of nice and rude to have success IDK.

I am doing the opposite because insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

 

 

 

Arc

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

1 minute ago, Arcangelo said:

All that i know is that being nice doesn't work, maybe you gotta be a mix of nice and rude to have success IDK.

I am doing the opposite because insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

 

 

 

Arc

 

You're going from an extreme to extreme. Try to at least find a balance, overcorrecting doesn't work.

[Key Elements]

1 hour ago, whoareyou said:

There is another way of looking at it. Why was she "passive aggressive"?  Did the husband change and became a different man that he was?

Quite possibly he was a leader and on his purpose in the beginning, then lost it - and after a lot of "testing", she gave up.

Maybe. It's hard to tell. I could only go by what my friend said. She takes the side of her father and can't get along with her mother. But, see, my friend is only the daughter. We don't know how her father is treating her mother behind everyone's back. Or, the mother has very low tolerance and complains about everything. She may not have learned to adjust and compromise. When a family lives together, everyone has to adjust in some way and contribute in some way.

 

1 hour ago, whoareyou said:

They also had a mismatch of roles - he took on the traditional role of a mother - who normally would be raising the kids and doing the housework.

To me, this is a sign of failed leadership on a man, and having lost touch with his woman.

Yup. Not sure what's going on. Like I said, in any long term relationship(s), you cannot have it 100% your way. There are always adjustments, and you cannot be close-minded too. Raising three children and living in a house in a good neighbood is overwhelming. Still, I see couples adjusting to that in some way or the other. I had neighbors who had a daughter (toddler). The father is the stay-at-home dad (homemaker, househusband), and the mother goes to work at a prestigious university. The father had no problems with that role. He loves his daughter. Why the "reversal of roles?" It's not really like that. The mother made more money from her career. That's why she kept her career.

[Nickyy]

30 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

All that i know is that being nice doesn't work, maybe you gotta be a mix of nice and rude to have success IDK.

I am doing the opposite because insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

 

 

 

Arc

 

My friend, being rude is a serious turn off. Being rude communicates that you have problems with learning socialisation, and on the level of her survival instincts she will rejects you just for that. She may even start to educate you depending on how angry she is at you. If she doesn't retaliate, trust me, you will be the butt of her jokes between her and her friends for months, maybe even years . Don't be rude or aggressive to anyone let alone a woman. Just read this thread from start to finish if you want to learn. 

Edited November 20, 2019 by Nickyy

[Ananta]

35 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

All that i know is that being nice doesn't work, maybe you gotta be a mix of nice and rude to have success IDK.

I am doing the opposite because insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

 

Arc

There must be something else that is "off". It's not that you are generally nice.

I've never gone for a guy that was an arrogant asshole, liar, whatever. That turns me off so bad, always has....

Also, you can be nice and have masculine energy or just good chemistry even, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

I don't know you, so can't say what the issue is, but it's not that! 

Try a matchmaker service. They will give you solid advice on what you may need to work on and try to match you up with someone too.

 

Ps. yeah, don't be rude! You might get kicked in the nuts?

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

 

Also, you can be nice and have masculine energy or just good chemistry even, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

 

Yep. Totally agree.