How to be wise

Pickup yourself

93 posts in this topic

@flowboy Why do you want sex/relationships? If you keep asking yourself why, you’ll come to the conclusion that it is for happiness. So drop all the relationships baggage and just go for happiness. The Work of Byron Katie gives you just that.

 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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49 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@flowboy Why do you want sex/relationships?

 

Where did I say that I did? I did not, you are projecting.

Also you are projecting onto, well, everyone here who doesn't agree with you, that they're in search for happiness in relationships.

Notice how no one has thanked you yet for sharing your infinite wisdom in this topic. Why do you think that is?

My take on this is that with this 'purifying' you are fighting to suppress and deny an aspect of yourself. Why do I think that? Because you feel the need to start a topic to project this onto others and fight it in them. As it usually goes with the shadow.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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41 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Where did I say that I did? I did not, you are projecting.

Also you are projecting onto, well, everyone here who doesn't agree with you, that they're in search for happiness in relationships.

Notice how no one has thanked you yet for sharing your infinite wisdom in this topic. Why do you think that is?

My take on this is that with this 'purifying' you are fighting to suppress and deny an aspect of yourself. Why do I think that? Because you feel the need to start a topic to project this onto others and fight it in them. As it usually goes with the shadow.

HarshFabulousGerbil-size_restricted.gif

???

 


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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On 27/02/2019 at 0:22 PM, flowboy said:

* rolls eyes *

Well some of them are going to want to get laid. As they should

This sounds obvious enough wouldn’t you say.

And who isn’t in search of happiness. I would be surprised if I discovered such a person. 

As for why people aren’t thanking me, nobody likes it when their precious belief system is hacked to bits with a machete. And that’s what I do. I destroy all knowledge and beliefs until you reach infinite bliss and happiness. Of course most people aren’t there yet. Which is why I need to keep hacking.


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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44 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

This sounds obvious enough wouldn’t you say.

And who isn’t in search of happiness. I would be surprised if I discovered such a person. 

As for why people aren’t thanking me, nobody likes it when their precious belief system is hacked to bits with a machete. And that’s what I do. I destroy all knowledge and beliefs until you reach infinite bliss and happiness. Of course most people aren’t there yet. Which is why I need to keep hacking.

 

That's how a Zen devil/cult leader operates.

Trying to force people to change regardless if they want it.

A wise man would use his time to better himself and help people who seek for help instead.

 

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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On ‎27‎/‎02‎/‎2019 at 2:43 PM, flowboy said:

I would have expected you to say that there is no separation, and therefore you are simultaneously sleeping with all the girls already, because they are you and you are them?

Lol :D! I love you.

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42 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

That's how a Zen devil/cult leader operates.

Trying to force people to change regardless if they want it.

A wise man would use his time to better himself and help people who seek for help instead.

 

Of course I’m not done purifying myself yet. I do The Work of Byron Katie for 90 minutes every day. I may very well be a zen devil at this stage.

But, who said that I’m forcing people to change? I wrote a topic, and you guys came. Nobody forced you to come. So I assume that you are my dear seekers. 

Any post in my thread will be annihilated with the machine gun of truth. If you’re not comfortable having me expose all of your ego’s lies and deceptions, you’re not ready yet for this thread. This may very well be the most advanced topic that this section of the forum has seen.


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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On 27/02/2019 at 0:43 PM, flowboy said:

I would have expected you to say that there is no separation, and therefore you are simultaneously sleeping with all the girls already, because they are you and you are them?

But I said that there is no you. So who is sleeping with the girls. 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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15 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

Of course I’m not done purifying myself yet. I do The Work of Byron Katie for 90 minutes every day. I may very well be a zen devil at this stage.

But, who said that I’m forcing people to change? I wrote a topic, and you guys came. Nobody forced you to come. So I assume that you are my dear seekers. 

Any post in my thread will be annihilated with the machine gun of truth. If you’re not comfortable having me expose all of your ego’s lies and deceptions, you’re not ready yet for this thread. This may very well be the most advanced topic that this section of the forum has seen.

images(81).jpg


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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7 minutes ago, Shin said:

images(81).jpg

Who isn’t sure? Can you see yourself. Notice that you only exist as a belief. 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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1 minute ago, How to be wise said:

Who isn’t sure? Can you see yourself. Notice that you only exist as a belief. 

 

I found you brown bear.

You were real all along !

 

 


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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@Shin Yes, we share the same philosophy. Except for one difference. The bear couldn’t separate the inquiry from his personal life, hence he found it hard to make friends.

I on the other hand, have specifically created this thread for the inquiry. I wouldn’t do it in a place that isn’t appropriate.


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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This woman learned the hard way:

In the beginning, she didn't realize that when two ppl come together, what is actually going on is, two egos are coming together. That's why it usually doesn't work--two negatives don't make a positive. The thing to do is to focus on yourself because even if you're in a relationship, you're still single no matter what. There is only "you." Learn to respect other's space and don't overstep their boundaries. You can't develop the other person. You can only develop yourself. That's hard enough.

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20 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

You can't develop the other person. You can only develop yourself. That's hard enough.

that’s why a relationship only works when both work on themselves - how much nicer it is though when both are able to guide each other. as we see our blind spots only through a mirror.

a relationship like that can only work if we accept the guidence of the other.

Edited by now is forever

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10 minutes ago, now is forever said:

that’s why a relationship only works when both work on themselves - how much nicer it is though when both are able to guide each other. as we see our blind spots only through a mirror.

a relationship like that can only work if we accept the guidence of the other.

You got to be careful on this one. It could be the incorrect guidance. It's not easy to guide when we're all very unique and if the relationship is very long term.

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28 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

You got to be careful on this one. It could be the incorrect guidance. It's not easy to guide when we're all very unique and if the relationship is very long term.

yes you are right, accepting guidence means not without reflection on which guidence is the better one in the situation guidence is offered in. 

a lot of my experience is based on realizing what guidence was the wrong one in the aftermath either my own or guidence of someone else. that’s how we learn don’t we?

we gain with good decisions and loose with bad - though we can still gain with bad ones. it’s just more hurtful.

making better decisions is often based on the availability of more than one possible approach.

experience helps.

Edited by now is forever

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1 hour ago, now is forever said:

yes you are right, accepting guidence means not without reflection on which guidence is the better one in the situation guidence is offered in. 

Even with reflection, both parties (egos) will have to learn to grow together and respect each other's boundaries. Otherwise, they will misguide each other. Giving each other space and respecting it is probably one of the most important, if not the most important. It's easier said than done.

For instance, a couple had three kids. The mother is really focused on her work, and she doesn't really help in raising the children. The father fumbles in preparing the food for his children. He's not really good with that. One day, when the children grew up, she just leaves the relationship and complains that she had a hard time. At least the father was willing to stick it out and not quit.

In another relationship, the parents thought they knew what's best for their child's career path. It turned out wrong. The cousin knew better. The cousin was more open-minded in knowing the child.

I just highlighted three more important points from my experience.

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@Key Elements yes that’s also right - but there is always only the guidance that’s available unless we go search or get guidence out of another dimension.

it’s the same as with food - you can always only eat what’s available or what you make available.

guidence is just guidence - decision/discernment makes the difference.

Edited by now is forever

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3 hours ago, now is forever said:

@Key Elements yes that’s also right - but there is always only the guidance that’s available unless we go search or get guidence out of another dimension.

it’s the same as with food - you can always only eat what’s available or what you make available.

guidence is just guidence - decision/discernment makes the difference.

There it is! :) You said it correctly. From my experience, I could never take what's available as a guidance. What was available to me was always mediocre. I always had to go out there and search for a better answer. The answer didn't come to me right away. I had to always adjust. It's true in all aspects of life, not just relationships.

That's why when she said @9:00 in the video, "Life does not give you what you ask for. It gives you the ppl, places, and situations to develop what you ask for," it made sense to me.

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@Key Elements yes, but what if the space is already preconceptionally taken by convenience? it’s very difficult to get orange out of convenience. green is already thinking more altruistic.

so thinking about sex as a self treat is very orange. green purification happens when you see the joy in the other person in regaining sexual liberation. thinking that purification can only happen through celibacy is very dogmatic and dogma is always blue or further down the spiral.

picking up one self would mean in that sense finding another solution than pick up. something like sports with benefits. or photography with benefits or nude painting with benefits.

i don’t think that turquoise transcendence of sexuality is possible without green sexual liberation. what also means deobjectification of the sexual partner.

Edited by now is forever

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