how do i get rid of the belief that something's wrong with me?

[Viking]

I notice that when something unusual happens with me, like hearing new strange sounds, seeing optical illusions (unintentionally), observing certain unusual thoughts/meanings, feeling unusual sensations, etc. my heart starts to race and i feel fear in my body, that feeling when you break something important, like your heart sinks.

this fear arises because i believe something is wrong with me and im going crazy, but often i ask other people if they hear the same sound or see the same optical illusion and they say yes, which means that my fear was unjustified and I calm down.

this fear arose after the first time I took psychedelics, which was LSA, about a year ago. for a whole day after the trip I was in panic because i thought i fucked up my brain, because of the weird awareness that I had when the trip was supposed to end, and because I didnt sleep, so my memory and my cognitive ability were weak, so i thought they were damaged permanently. the effects lifted up after a few days and for some time i forgot about it, but the fear and belief that i am somehow fucked up is still there.

how do i deal with this?

[Hellspeed]

Tap into Muladhara with Breath. Fear is just uncharted territory in the body, the pain of the blockages are so huge that the mind translates that into fear. 

[Charlotte]

Oh 

2 minutes ago, Viking said:

I notice that when something unusual happens with me, like hearing new strange sounds, seeing optical illusions (unintentionally), observing certain unusual thoughts/meanings, feeling unusual sensations, etc. my heart starts to race and i feel fear in my body, that feeling when you break something important, like your heart sinks.

this fear arises because i believe something is wrong with me and im going crazy, but often i ask other people if they hear the same sound or see the same optical illusion and they say yes, which means that my fear was unjustified and I calm down.

this fear arose after the first time I took psychedelics, which was LSA, about a year ago. for a whole day after the trip I was in panic because i thought i fucked up my brain, because of the weird awareness that I had when the trip was supposed to end, and because I didnt sleep, so my memory and my cognitive ability were weak, so i thought they were damaged permanently. the effects lifted up after a few days and for some time i forgot about it, but the fear and belief that i am somehow fucked up is still there.

how do i deal with this?

Oh @Viking I can relate so much to this. My experiences also started from panic like symptoms. 

Basically it's fear, raw fear, clinging onto itself. It will pick out on ANYTHING to form more panic, it will grip you in anyway possible. I spent months trying to get my head around it, trying everything to get a grip of it but ultimately by me trying to get a grip of it, I realised that also was just another movement of fear. Fear trying to control fear, doesn't work. 

Your caught in a trap and until you at least start to witness the whole fundamentals of the self and fear this will stay with you. 

Yeah sure you can breath through the panic, seek reassurance in others (as you have been doing) but that in itself is still another movement of fear. 

It's a tough nut to crack Viking, I'm still working on it myself but the more I study and observe the more the fear is being stopped in its tracks. 

[Viking]

27 minutes ago, Hellspeed said:

Tap into Muladhara with Breath. Fear is just uncharted territory in the body, the pain of the blockages are so huge that the mind translates that into fear. 

i actually experience fear very rarely, its more the belief that's troubling me, because i suspect it manipulates me in ways in which im not aware of.

[molosku]

Try journaling about it in the same way you would do shadow work. Go into details of the situations and your thoughts. 

[SoonHei]

"how do i get rid of the belief that something's wrong with me?"

 

stop giving weight to this belief. forcing it out of you. faking this belief that all's well until it gets / starts to feel better.

[i am I AM]

Just now, Viking said:

I notice that when something unusual happens with me, like hearing new strange sounds, seeing optical illusions (unintentionally), observing certain unusual thoughts/meanings, feeling unusual sensations, etc. my heart starts to race and i feel fear in my body, that feeling when you break something important, like your heart sinks.

this fear arises because i believe something is wrong with me and im going crazy, but often i ask other people if they hear the same sound or see the same optical illusion and they say yes, which means that my fear was unjustified and I calm down.

this fear arose after the first time I took psychedelics, which was LSA, about a year ago. for a whole day after the trip I was in panic because i thought i fucked up my brain, because of the weird awareness that I had when the trip was supposed to end, and because I didnt sleep, so my memory and my cognitive ability were weak, so i thought they were damaged permanently. the effects lifted up after a few days and for some time i forgot about it, but the fear and belief that i am somehow fucked up is still there.

how do i deal with this?

It cannot help you to attach your self to connotations. I show a few from your post, above

[Shin]

Watch your beliefs and fear arise and fall.

If you look very closely, you will see that you create all of it.

Then you will slowly stop.

Edited October 22, 2018 by Shin

[Psyche_92]

Wanting to get rid of the belief that something is wrong with you IS the problem.

[i am I AM]

@Psyche_92 Why do you think so? I realized you can't get "rid" of the aspects of reality (such as thoughts) but you can change perception of the aspects to where it's identical to mind control. I mean, controlling your own mind!! Lol!

[Elysian]

It sounds like repressed fear rising into the conscious, leading to insecurity and uncertainty. Repressed emotions can bubble up during the every day routine, but meditation and psychedelics both have the tendency to bring emotional wounds to the forefront. I've found it best to just allow the emotion to be expressed, and observe it unconditionally. Trying to push it away just leads to more suffering, the feeling wouldn't arise if it didn't need your attention.

[Psyche_92]

6 hours ago, i am I AM said:

Why do you think so?

The belief that something is wrong with him simply arises, but he wants to get rid of it ( resistance ). Resistance gives the belief more energy so it becomes even stronger. Most likely it will fade and go away over time if he sees it as simply a belief and not something that is true.

6 hours ago, i am I AM said:

I mean, controlling your own mind!! Lol!

You can't control your mind. Try it now. Try to guess the next thought that will come up. It's just another thought telling you that you can controll your mind. All is seen.

 

[Torkys]

Trying to get rid of the thought of there is something wrong with you is itself reinforcing that belief. 

Other than that, shadow work and Self-Love. 

[Nahm]

@Viking You’re going back an entire year, using memories, to put yourself in a mindset, that doesn’t even feel good to you?  Whatcha doin that for Viking? What’s the gain in this strategy?

15 hours ago, Viking said:

i actually experience fear very rarely, its more the belief that's troubling me, because i suspect it manipulates me in ways in which im not aware of.

Yeah, it manipulates you into denial that you are choosing to keep thinking that a trip a year ago has something to do with ill feelings right now. But these are thoughts, right now. Nothing is wrong with you of course, this is simply how memories work. The question is, why are you perpetuating the victim (something is wrong with me) habits? Is there someone in your life who caters to this behavior? Are you doing this just for the attention / “awe poor guy” that you get from the forum?

Bout ready to move on from that? I think you are more than ready, and just needed to be aware that you’re doing this. You’re so much more capable, powerful, loving and unconditional than this. Let go of such small thinking. That’s old habit. 

[i am I AM]

@Psyche_92 I see that how that works, now, and I have a new question. (It's the first in a Journey of 1000 Questions). When you say "all is seen", what is it seen by, or is this one a paradox?

[Psyche_92]

1 hour ago, i am I AM said:

I have a new question

You don't have any questions. All questions stem from the mind ( they all arise in YOU ). The mind wants to know answers to it's questions, so it can fall back asleep.

1 hour ago, i am I AM said:

When you say "all is seen", what is it seen by, or is this one a paradox?

Consciousness.

Try not being conscious right in this moment. Try to stop being conscious. It's not gonna work, it's impossible. Consciousnes is the very fundamental thing to experience anything ( thoughts, feelings, sounds,...). You literally can't get rid of it.

The question "what is it seen by" arises IN IT.

The searched sees the seeker seeking.

Being is being conscious if something appears.

Edited October 23, 2018 by Psyche_92

[Elysian]

1 hour ago, Psyche_92 said:

The question "what is it seen by" arises IN IT.

The searched sees the seeker seeking.

Mind trying to figure out awareness is like a video game character trying to understand the consule that it resides within. Mind is so used to being able to answer so much, this is just something well beyond it's reach.

[i am I AM]

So, it really is only being in me?  Also not being asleep = you knowing this? Thank you, @Psyche_92 .

(Yes, I'm still asking questions, even after what you've said. Is that brave?)