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About molosku

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  1. Ask yourself: would that be a strategically intelligent move on your part? It sounds like you are mentally preparing for failure and creating a self fullfilling prophecy. If you really had the will and desire to do a 30 day retreat, you would not be asking around if you can do it or not. How could we know if you are up for it or not, we dont know you at all. It's actually impossible to determine what is your ultimate spiritual max for sitting in meditation, because when you do give in you can always ask: "could I have sat one second more? Half a second? Quarter of a second?" and the answer will always be yes, given your body does not give up before your mind does. Meditation is not like running. I suggest you ramp it up, if you have never done a retreat try doing a 10-day first. Trust me, it will be hard enough and you WILL grow and get valuable insights out of it. Don't expect much out of it, expectations will only distract you, rather concentrate on doing your best on each individual sit and most importantly, NOT quit prematurely. Best of luck.
  2. I also did self inquiry while dreaming once. Did not even realize it was a dream. Now tell me what are my chances of waking up from this "not dreaming" state if I cant do it even in my sleep LOL
  3. Some form of acceptance practise is good. Accept that you dont feel good, accept that you cant change it right now, accept the grayness, dullness and negativeness. Accept those days as a law of nature: you dont get rain without sunshine, so why would you expect your emotions to be any different. Understand the legitimacy of depressive days as a distinctive aspect of the artwork that is your whole life.
  4. Congratz! It'a fascinating that things like that can happen at any time, no matter how you have been feeling or acting lately. When you least expect it. But still practise and learning is so essential, one cant just do nothing and wait.
  5. What happened? Must have been pretty disruptive one if you got sent out
  6. Dont fall into obvious old bad habbits Dont fall into obvious ego backlashes. Really keep an eye on them creeping up. A backlash can manifest in so many ways, after my first (and only one so far) retreat I started to experience certain thought pattern immediately after leaving the retreat but I was lucky enough to notice them as they came and not react to them. A lot of interesting and important integration and processing happened on the following week after leaving. Expect to think "where did all my tranquility/equanimity go after that retreat" quite soon Expect old thought patterns come up as "really important and valid thoughts" especially if they are negative in their tone Continue your daily practise as usual Expect to be overwhelmed Expect to feel sad/angsty. Not necessary but that might happen. Try not to splurge on entertainment. Try to maintain even 5% of the distance to entertainment you gained on your retreat A lot of the growth potential of retreats really actualize only after, then you can really tell if you grew or not. Watch your emotions, your thoughts, your reactions, observe as if you were someone else studying your behaviour. On your retreat you observed your raw direct experience/reality for 7 days. Your upcoming emotional ups and downs are made of that same exact reality, dont try to force yourself to feel or think anything particular. You probably did not try to do that on your retreat, so why start now? Your direct experience is always valid, try not to refer your time at the retreat as your "spiritual time" and your time after as "mundane time". Practise accepting anything that comes up, practise observing what ever comes up. If you (secretly) expected or wished "something to happen" but it didn't, watch your thoughts and emotions about that. Contemplate your expectations, what and why did you wish for something? What gain was there to have? What lack in your life could have been filles up, but it just didn't happen? How did the retreat go, btw?
  7. This, truly. Also: anything by me, ofc. Try loscil, its wonderfull
  8. @Leo Gura Do you still play vidya sometimes? I literally cant get an online subscription to my favourite games because restricting gaming time is almost impossible. Zero tolerance is the only way, Im afraid. Skill/outsmarting based shooters are so well targeted at my mind/personality type.
  9. The specific instructions ARE personal development and awakening, for the most part I feel. All the techniques sum up to a more relaxed, authentic, dynamic, humorous and energized version of oneself (Leo). I think there is an old video on youtube where Leo is attending some kind of dedicated speech training program, so yes there probably are targeted exercises and practices he has done. But yeah, for the most part I feel, or I project, the results come from many more things that have added up. ps. Careful with those "you boost your ego" statements, 9 times out of 10 they are uncalled for.
  10. So are you dismissing spirituality and altered states of consciousness altogether?
  11. Here is my definition: "regular" person: lives in distinctions and concepts. World is taken quite literally as a puzzle of words and ideas of reality. Interconnections of different distinctions coupled with ones own biases and survival needs create ideologies of the world, that are seen as real as reality itself. Rape and murder are just plain WRONG and that the end of it, it is obvious isnt it. Highly dualistic, black and white thinking is trademark of the "regular" person. Awakened person: transcends and includes distinctions and concepts. Concepts and ideas are now seen as they are: a description, a point of view, but not as reality itself. Ideas are a legitimate part of oneness, but they do not overshadow being itself like the previously did. Duality is non-duality and vice versa, all issues and problems collapse and all the capital versions of dualisms (see leos recent duality series) step into foreground of experience. Ideas are included and integrated and seen as they are. Insane/psychosis person: gets lost in distinctions and concepts. Insane person draws connections and meaning out of his own ideas that others dont experience. These connections and meanings take a hold of a persons life and mentality in a disruptive way. A person is no longer able to tell wich of his fantasies and ideas are real and wich are not: they all blend together into his experience. Meaning and the further meanings of different meanings are not seen as a mental construct, meanings create real tangible physical features of reality. The experience of the phone ringing MEANS that secret agents are watching. There need not be any evidence, first hand experience of agents themselves to prove they are real, meanings of different things that are experienced first hand create a reality for them. For the regular person the fact that the phone rang means that someone is calling and the phone rings, both are equally real and tangible, the caller is not an idea but a real physical part of reality. There is no further meaning drawn from either of the "facts", but the idea of the caller enforces the bundle of ideas and unconscious delusions that create the ego illusion: me and not-me. The delusion is there, but it goes by without noticing, it does nor grip the "experiencers" experience in a disruptive way. For the awakened person the fact that the phone rang means that someone is calling AND that the ringing is simply experienced, as it did and there is no other reality to it. The ringing is real and the person calling is an idea. This is a very brief overall explanation that includes non-dual understanding. Im not going to go into the Leo Guraisms of this topic (such as the fact we all more or less believe a voice in our "heads" that tells us stuff), but I encourage you to contemplate the dualism of insane vs not insane. Psychosis and madness are very complex phenomenon though, and there is much more to them that I could blabber on here. Highly recommended read, one of the most comprehensive and stage yellow books I've read:
  12. As you might guess, direct confrontation is not always the best approach. If the ego is too dense, everything that does not please it will be seen as an attack or an threat. What ever you say will be turned upside down, love will be hate, compassion will be despise etc. They will turn the confeontation back upon you ("who are YOU to say this and that...") and when that happens, you are forced to play defence and that conversation is pretty much dead as far as fruitfullness goes. I would try a more subtle and indirect approach. In conflicting situations, rather than trying to teach them or make them question themselves forcefully, ask them questions. Try to genuenily undestand where they are coming from, even if you know that they are basically just reacting out of vulnerability, confusion or sloppy thinking. As they are explaining themselves to you (egos love to talk about their opinions and stances), you can deconstruct their opinions for them, as they obviously are not interested in doing that for themselves. Try to find their blindspots and gently point them out for them. There will be defensiveness, be carefull around it when it starts to come up. People have a need to be understood and heard. If you can create a space where people feel they can express freely and dont just need to explain and defend themselves, you can open up a little too and they propably will be more open to listen your point of view too. The trick is to be wise enough to ask the right questions at the right times, and not to get triggered yourself. Swallowing your own ego is hard enough. All above is just ideas, I dont have much experience with your cind of situation. Good luck.
  13. Disco light show = absolute godhead. I always inquire with some Abba in the background. Great movie, though.
  14. That mouth you described came up with a strategy that you now claim as "your" idea. Mind is a funny bag of tricks.
  15. Granted that one can always recognize when action/reaction is done out of the root emotion of fear. Often the realization only comes seconds, minutes, hours, days or even months after the fact, and then it is too late. Not too late for growth, but too late for that particular moment. How to act and be consciously, and do the right action, the right thing in the present moment? That is what we all thirst to know and embody, don't we?