Jamesc

Marriage?

17 posts in this topic

What does having a wedding really represent?

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@Jamesc

For most people, it represents scarcity and an attempt to fulfill a socially conditioned narrative.


 

 

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Some religious ritual that is a complete waste of time/space.


B R E A T H E

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Weddings are only the icing on the cake because it won't be a reflection of what a marriage is about, but of course, there's always a paradox to everything. You get to learn by meeting a lot of ppl, whether it's "challenging" or not. It's like a huge family reunion of family and friends. You get to see how they're doing. You get to reflect and learn from that.

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@Jamesc The union between two people, traditionally a man and a women. Modern interpretations may wary. 

Practically you spend a lot of money to make your feminine partner happy for some time. Assuming they want to get married. There are also legal implications.

Edited by Spiral

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6 hours ago, Jamesc said:

What does having a wedding really represent?

For me:

  1. an opportunity to introduce my two families to each other
  2. to allow my new family to share a unique moment of my life

It can go horribly wrong on the both ends, but that's okay.
The ceremony is the culmination of our commitment, and not the other way around.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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It's just an outward exclamation of your love. Like Baptism, you don't need it to get to heaven. You don't need a wedding to be married, some prefer the courthouse deal. However, like Baptism, it is a way to let everyone you love know that you are taking that next step.

If that makes any sense.

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@Jamesc  It started simply for legal reasons because woman were property.  I heard that’s starting to trend again (full circle). We’ll see.    Also, the ‘marriage’ doesn’t have any inherent property of representation, so it literally represents whatever you see it as, and you get to pick. 


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Do not get married unless you are prepared to at some point in a few years or so hardly ever to have sex again. Also, when/if you have a child or children, it will be even worse. Really imagine this because it's probably a 50/50% or greater chance that this will be your experience.

Edited by Deutsche22

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An analysis of marriage and relationships from a divorce lawyer. It summarizes the major aspects of the relationships well.

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@Jamesc 

1. Conformaty

2. Stupidity.

3. Lack of originality.

4. A huge bill.

5. Pressure.

6. Lost freedom.

7. Death of love.

 

 

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5 hours ago, Barbarian Number 8 said:

@Jamesc 

1. Conformaty

2. Stupidity.

3. Lack of originality.

4. A huge bill.

5. Pressure.

6. Lost freedom.

7. Death of love.

 

 

Man that's depressing :( my wedding was stressful but I felt it was worth the craziness in the end :) although, I was one of those girls that grew up planning her wedding since young lol 

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On 5/9/2018 at 9:06 AM, Jamesc said:

What does having a wedding really represent?

Love is not enough to keep two persons together, you need social and legal contract to keep them together. Marriage is more permanent than love.

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18 hours ago, Prabhaker said:

Love is not enough to keep two persons together, you need social and legal contract to keep them together. Marriage is more permanent than love.

You are still single. I could tell. :P

What is a marriage? Definition: a 7 days elaborate ceremony with at least 200+ family & friends. Lots of dances and drums and walking around a fire with your bride tied to you following you round and round for you too. :)Then, you and your bride say, "swaha," as you put special oil into the fire, guided by a sage (pandit), and it burns more. It will be followed by a marriage certificate with witnesses. That's it. Finished.

Now, it's up to you and your bride to make it last throughout life. That is the real love. It's the work, detachment, and the devotion that will make it work, not the certificate and ceremony. 

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@zoey101  -Ja I think all girls do that :) Princess for a day, memory for alifetime :)

But I am a free spirit and do not need a public ceremony and contract to prove my love.

Also, you are a woman......if you view it from a mans perspective you would be afraid. I mean look at the contract.

One should also consider that we got a much longer lifespan now, rather when the contract was formulated. One can also add the birthcontrolpill and womens access to the labourmarket.

If you consider that all things end......well even love....

The contract is very bad for a man. I believe it to be especially true in America.

 

I like to point out that ofcourse it works for the ones who stays together their whole life.

But in my experience that is rare. I don´t see it as depressing or a bad thing. It is just the way it is. "I´ve have rather loved and lost, than never loved at all..."-something like that.

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@Barbarian Number 8 yeah, I agree. My cousin got married a few years ago and was/is constantly talking about how she is gonna divorce him in 5-10 years when she's bored with him. They have a kid and are looking to throw an anniversary party, but I can't help but think the whole thing is just a sham to show off to the family. 

I intend to be married "till death do we part". Whether it stays that way or not is in God's hands. But I fear that my cousin's mentality on marriage is more the norm now. It's really just sad.

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