Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[Lyubov]

Yeah fetlife is a weird platform I didn’t even know it still exists 

[LordFall]

4 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

I don't know how fetlife is in Canada, but every munch I've been to in the Netherlands sucked. The women are not that attractive and a lot of them neurodivergent in some form or another. I can pickup a hotter, neuro-normative girl in a regular social meetup and gradually introduce her to my depraved sexual fantasies over time, which is preferable than having to deal with these fetlife people.

And, of course, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. 9s and 10s have no issue attracting dominant men in their lives. They don't need to go on fetlife unless there's something wrong with them. Same with feeld. Any dating app or website that is explicitly about sex, usually attracts unattractive women who have trouble procuring it naturally.

That was exactly my conclusion as well. The relationship frameworks I saw happen in that community are fascinating to me though. I'm a huge fan of dating protocols. I like systems and logic. Having a female sub that journals her thoughts daily for me to read to guide her through life sounds really fun. What was shocking to me is the amount of women that crave exactly that. There's some more interesting ideas I have but I'll spare the details for now it's not really what's important. 

For me what that website and the BDSM subreddit did is give me permission to indulge in my deepest fantasies and the proof that for every fetish in life(or at least most) there is an enthusiastic participant for it. I find that a lot of people on this forum are stuck up with their sexuality so I would encourage everyone to read through the subreddit and experience the different tastes that exist in the world that aren't usually shared in polite society.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bdsmcommunity

I actually shot a podcast with one of the biggest BDSM educators on Youtube a few years ago. She's a dominatrix and although I'm not a male sub, I wanted to pick her brain on BDSM and the people that interact with her profession. I find sexuality a fascinating topic to explore both from a pickup perspective but also a sexology one. I think most people in society are close minded in this area and are ruining their own potential fun and possibility for a way more fulfilling dating life than average. 

 

[BlessedLion]

3 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

@Lyubov 31. I’m looking to date girls a few years younger

8 months of actively dating different people got me burned out with all the fakery that is socializing with normies, and especially dating.

i actually feel this, i think if i'm going to be in relationship it will need to be a radically unique container not a traditional relationship. It is quite exhausting. 

[BlessedLion]

12 minutes ago, LordFall said:

That was exactly my conclusion as well. The relationship frameworks I saw happen in that community are fascinating to me though. I'm a huge fan of dating protocols. I like systems and logic. Having a female sub that journals her thoughts daily for me to read to guide her through life sounds really fun. What was shocking to me is the amount of women that crave exactly that. There's some more interesting ideas I have but I'll spare the details for now it's not really what's important. 

For me what that website and the BDSM subreddit did is give me permission to indulge in my deepest fantasies and the proof that for every fetish in life(or at least most) there is an enthusiastic participant for it. I find that a lot of people on this forum are stuck up with their sexuality so I would encourage everyone to read through the subreddit and experience the different tastes that exist in the world that aren't usually shared in polite society.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bdsmcommunity

I actually shot a podcast with one of the biggest BDSM educators on Youtube a few years ago. She's a dominatrix and although I'm not a male sub, I wanted to pick her brain on BDSM and the people that interact with her profession. I find sexuality a fascinating topic to explore both from a pickup perspective but also a sexology one. I think most people in society are close minded in this area and are ruining their own potential fun and possibility for a way more fulfilling dating life than average. 

 

There are few better feelings than a woman willingly following your lead and seeing you as dominant and powerful, also makes for great sex

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

Be honest though, would you date yourself? Like are you able to relate and keep a long term relationship with a woman?

I am dating myself right now

The yogi lifestyle is not right for most. But I am not most. But Miguel is also not most.

I only entered this chat because Miguel showed a desire for transcendence.

Edited 5 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just because one doesn't want to date or look for a partner, or doesn't have a huge drive for it - DOES NOT MEAN EVERYTHING THEY DO THAT ISN'T THAT IS A FUCKING COPE.

We know people can be different, right? Different needs, wants and desires? THIS AINT NEW

[Joseph Maynor]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I am dating myself right now

Good for you.  I think it is important to not be in such an Absolute mentality than you lose the pleasures of life.

[aurum]

I will say that if spiritually advanced humans can't find a way to have at least some relationships, you can kiss any hopes of a highly conscious civilization goodbye.

 

[Leo Gura]

38 minutes ago, aurum said:

highly conscious civilization

What's that?

[AION]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bro, that's why yogis live in caves.

At some point you will become so conscious that you will even stop wanting a girlfirend.

Don't forget, girls are Maya.

Why do you care about girls at all? As a distraction from being God.

But, you are still young, so perhaps you aren't ready to hear this yet.

for me it didn´t work like that, it was very hard to integrate my anima without being in contact with girls. looking back i just had to speed run through girls to realize it. otherwise you run into the pre trans fallacy. looking back at it it was just all in my head, if i get this type of girls then this and that. i don´t know how i would have seen through those illusions just sitting in my man cave meditating, one needs to be in touch with the shadow to activate it and then let it go.

[meta_male]

8 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

8 months of actively dating different people got me burned out with all the fakery that is socializing with normies, and especially dating.

I'd argue it's a high consciousness vs. "normie" problem. Constantly getting mistmatches will definitely burn you out, I'm at this point too.

[Valach]

@Miguel1 I do not think giving up entirely needs to happen. Why not just take it super easy and deprioritize it?

 

I understand your frustration. I am also tired of situations where I come to a date and the woman really cares about what kind of music I like or what kind of series I am watching. As if it says anything about the person. But I do not see that as a reason to give up entirely. Just try to find your crowd (i know its hard) and take it way slower.

Edited 40 minutes ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

8 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Just remain open, but don't bang your head against the wall investing so much energy in it.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Yes. That’s kinda what I mean by letting go of dating.

[Miguel1]

I’ll answer everyone later in the day

[Natasha Tori Maru]

16 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Yes. That’s kinda what I mean by letting go of dating.

Gotcha 

I know this is a big sticky spot for you, as you are self aware enough to know you are extraverted and this is a strong need. 31, to me, is still young. I had 3 long term relationships through my 30s. All were happen chance with no intention. Lovely chaps! 

The main difference is that you are more spiritually advanced than I was at that age. So this is an additional sorting factor if you need this sort of development from a partner.