these girls think I am sweet

[yetineti]

@Olaf

Do you have to play ‘nice guy’ to have male friends? No. I don’t play nice guy to hang out with women.

Edited 4 hours ago by yetineti

[Olaf]

`If you mean the two most characteristic behaviors in conversations of a douchebag, I'd say:

They dominate or dismiss — interrupting, talking over you, ignoring what you said, or acting like their opinion matters more.

They belittle or provoke — insulting you, mocking you, making cutting remarks, or deliberately pushing your buttons.

Basically: disrespect + making the conversation about their superiority.`

or this one

`If I had to narrow it down to 5 common asshole/douchebag conversation habits:

Interrupts constantly — doesn't let you finish your point.

One-ups you — turns your story into a story about themselves.

Belittles you — mocks, dismisses, or talks down to you.

Makes everything about themselves — rarely shows genuine interest in what you're saying.

Pushes your buttons — deliberately provokes, needles, or embarrasses you for their own amusement.`

ChatGPT is making sense finally

Edited 3 hours ago by Olaf

[Myioko]

They're letting you down easy as well as protecting their physical safety of not wanting to upset you. Your probably don't come across as particularly sweet or not sweet, it's just a polite thing to say, so it probably isn't personal! Please just remember to be respectful to them and not make them scared you'll attack them, you're the one stepping into their personal space. 

[Olaf]

@Myioko anyways I am gonna do this, nobody stopping me, not even Leo

[Zenterus]

@Olaf I'll see you in action tomorrow and give you feedback. Going the douchebag route isn't the way though.

[Emerald]

Don't start larping as a douchebag to try to get women to like you.

That's just another way of being desperate and needy and saying, "What kind of asshole to I need to pretzel myself into to get women to like me?'

The reality is that the woman you talked to had a boyfriend. And she probably enjoyed the flirtation and didn't want it to go further. So, she tried to diffuse it with a compliment because she didn't want you to get the wrong idea.

And "You're sweet" is definitely a compliment.

So, don't interpret this as "If only I were a douche, I'd get women". because that's not true. The woman had a boyfriend either way.

Instead, just stop trying to mold yourself into what you think women want you to be... and just be yourself. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Emerald

[Ulax]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The reality is that the woman you talked to had a boyfriend.

🤦‍♂️

[Olaf]

@Emerald being yourself is the worst advice I have ever heard

[Valach]

5 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Emerald being yourself is the worst advice I have ever heard

It's a great advice, but it takes time to grow into place to let it land. It will reach you at the right time.

Edited 1 hour ago by Valach

[PsychedelicEagle]

Definitions:

1. Mode One: Fully honest and upfront about your intentions, whether casual sex, dating, or a relationship. Strong and effective.
2. Mode Two: Polite, cautious, vague; prioritizes a good impression and delays revealing intentions ("Pleasant Postponers").
3. Mode Three: Dishonest, misleading, manipulative, e.g. faking "just friends" to hide a sexual or romantic agenda.
4. Mode Four: Antagonistic, insulting, rude; honest only out of anger or because he knows his desires won't be reciprocated. Strong but ineffective.

Transitions:

• Mode Two → Four: Hints go unnoticed or ignored, so he flips into angry directness, feeling taken advantage of (typically after being friend-zoned).
• Mode Three → Four: The fake persona yields nothing, so he drops the act and vents resentment. Currie holds that all regular Mode Two and Three men eventually make this shift, and that the anger stems from their own dishonesty.

[Lyubov]

Been here. You’re over correcting now. You start off nice, starting convos, etc. But you don’t get results you want. So you go in the opposite direction. 

The guys who you often perceive as a douche may be kinda wild and selfish and unapologetic but trust me when you try to be them you will come across far differently. 

How much inner work have you actually done? You would benefit from deep self inquiry and journaling, reengineering your belief system and your relationship with yourself. You would then be able to observe your environment with a much clear mind and catch your flow. I’d also do energy work too to balance your chi.

[Ulax]

14 minutes ago, Valach said:

It's a great advice, but it takes time to grow into place to let it land. It will reach you at the right time.

I used to think like you do when I was still early in my journey but more experience will teach you the limits of this mindset

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Ulax said:

I used to think like you do when I was still early in my journey but more experience will teach you the limits of this mindset

And even more experience will teach you the limits of your approach. It is really just showing off how needy and desperate for validation people who seek this really are. Which is not a bad character trait, most people struggle with this, I do too.

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

And even more experience will teach you the limits of your approach. It is really just showing off how needy and desperate for validation people who seek this really are. Which is not a bad character trait, most people struggle with this, I do too.

It may seem like that when you get that to that point in the journey too. But that is still quite early in the journey, and you will understand when you have higher levels of experience.

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Ulax said:

It may seem like that when you get that to that point in the journey too. But that is still quite early in the journey, and you will understand when you have higher levels of experience.

Then explain how was it limiting for you? From the comments you post on here I sincerely doubt you outgrew that stage.

Edited 1 hour ago by Valach

[Ulax]

Just now, Valach said:

Then explain how was it limiting for you?

It is not something that can be explained. Only experienced

[Valach]

Just now, Ulax said:

It is not something that can be explained. Only experienced

Of course you would say that

[Ulax]

Just now, Valach said:

Of course you would say that

 

[Olaf]

@Ulax lets stop talking, lets take action, I am gonna go now

[aurum]

Sweetness is not bad in of itself.

It might be useful for your growth to overcorrect for a while, but you will eventually hit a wall with even your douchebaggery.

Really, what you're seeking is balance.