Livestreamed Conversation - The value of a man with Yetineti

[Yimpa]

hug

[Rishabh R]

 @LordFall Sorry dude yup it's severe.I lost my mom when I was 21 due to cancer . On top of it add a harsh rejection from my college classmate girl + my antidepressant withdrawal symptoms . It really fucked up my life to the point that my mom even after years passed by after her death she came in my dreams over and over again.

[yetineti]

@LordFall 

Thanks for opening up.

[yetineti]

I think this was a good lesson for everyone, including myself: provocation is not profundity.

[LordFall]

4 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

 @LordFall Sorry dude yup it's severe.I lost my mom when I was 21 due to cancer . On top of it add a harsh rejection from my college classmate girl + my antidepressant withdrawal symptoms . It really fucked up my life to the point that my mom even after years passed by after her death she came in my dreams over and over again.

Thanks for sharing your similar situation. Losing a parent that young is a brutal crucible, and having compounding stuff on top of it makes it that much harder to crawl out of. Hope things have stabilized for you since.

I hope you can connect it to the idea of being antifragile like I did and now are able to draw power from the unfortunate circumstances in your life. I do think that people that have it too easy are usually quite naive and delusional and I hope that works out for them but usually reality has a nasty habit of popping that bubble of fake safety for us. 

[BlessedLion]

I also want to say LordFall has great points too, just because our inherint worth isn't tied to things like success with women, money, etc, those are still important aspects of life tied to your self esteem and stability and ability to kick ass and create things in life and are essential. 

 

Also, they 100% don't fall on your lap, you as a man have to take massive action to become skilled in those domains. 

 

It's cool to see people on the forum take off the masks and hiding behind the screens and actually have a "face to face" discussion. Props.

[Joseph Maynor]

What is interesting is me and @yetineti have the same cognitive functions but the introvert and extrovert qualities are inverted.  

Me: INFJ

Ni
Fe
Ti
Se

Him: ENFP

Ne
Fi
Te
Si 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

10 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

What is interesting is me and @yetineti have the same cognitive functions but the introvert and extrovert qualities are inverted.  

Me: INFJ

Ni
Fe
Ti
Se

Him: ENFP

Ne
Fi
Te
Si 

This actually means you have zero overlap in cognitive functions.

The cognitive functions are not N, F, T, S - they are Ni, Ne, Ti, Te, Fi, Fe, Si, Se

I would share Ni & Se with you.

I would share Fi & Te with Yetineti.

Edited yesterday at 06:32 AM by Natasha Tori Maru

[Joseph Maynor]

7 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This actually means you have zero overlap in cognitive functions.

The cognitive functions are not N, F, T, S - they are Ni, Ne, Ti, Te, Fi, Fe, Si, Se

I would share Ni & Se with you.

I would share Fi & Te with Yetineti.

It is called a shadow type in MBTI where you have the first letter in common but the i and e are switched.  

https://chatgpt.com/share/6ab4c510-d4d4-83e8-a917-577c2d55a8b3

Edited yesterday at 06:38 AM by Joseph Maynor

[yetineti]

@Natasha Tori Maru @Joseph Maynor

That maybe why the three of us communicate so well.

There is also the whole ‘compatibility’ chart thing and I remember my own: ENFP does best with INFJ or INTJ—ironically.

So maybe I just love you guys!

I think it’s a better gauge of communication compatibility than romantic usually, though lol.

 

Edited yesterday at 04:39 PM by yetineti

[Joseph Maynor]

@LordFall  You seem super intelligent to me, maybe this is why you are so attractive to women.  

[Ulax]

12 hours ago, yetineti said:

@Natasha Tori Maru @Joseph Maynor

That maybe why the three of us communicate so well.

There is also the whole ‘compatibility’ chart thing and I remember my own: ENFP does best with INFJ or INTJ—ironically.

So maybe I just love you guys!

I think it’s a better gauge of communication compatibility than romantic usually, though lol.

 

ENTJ is OP

[LordFall]

11 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

@LordFall  You seem super intelligent to me, maybe this is why you are so attractive to women.  

I appreciate the kind words Joseph!

I would say it's more strategy than intelligence. Belief and strategy is most of what you need to make anything happen. 

Society tends to rob us of our confidence and make us believe we can't achieve much in life. That's why I like the self-development industry so much, it teaches you how to overcome all the limits and achieve your wildest dreams.

Even here, I notice a lot of guys struggle to genuinely back themselves and their vision. I feel like I'm one of the few who post consistently about executing on ambitious goals, and ironically, every piece of skepticism or pushback just fuels my resolve to build reality on my own terms.

Here I made a thread about my new goal of owning a castle so I can host cool events in Europe. Almost nobody else posted about their life purpose and wild dreams. I think it's because it's scary to put it out there, once it's out there people will start to tell you about why it's a stupid goal or why you can't make it happen.

Good, you can then start to understand what stands between you and your goals and crush all obstacles until you have your dream life and you can bring whatever women resonate with it into it.

That's also the secret, most guys don't live their dream life so they have no dream to bring women into. 

That's all girls want man, a cool guy that's gonna take them on fun adventures. Whether for a night or for a lifetime.

You are that guy bro, just decide what type of crazy adventures you want to have and tell women about them and if you make it fun for them they'll love to join you on your quest.

 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[something_else]

27 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Even here, I notice a lot of guys struggle to genuinely back themselves and their vision. I feel like I'm one of the few who post consistently about executing on ambitious goals, and ironically, every piece of skepticism or pushback just fuels my resolve to build reality on my own terms.

Here I made a thread about my new goal of owning a castle so I can host cool events in Europe. Almost nobody else posted about their life purpose and wild dreams. I think it's because it's scary to put it out there, once it's out there people will start to tell you about why it's a stupid goal or why you can't make it happen.

I often find telling people about my goals makes me less inclined to follow through. When I noticed this I researched it and there is actually a relatively well-understood mechanism behind it. It's called the Gollwitzer Substitution Effect. 

The general idea is that telling people about your goals can make the desired identity feel partly achieved before you've actually earned it. That social recognition gives you some of the psychological reward of already being that person, which can reduce your motivation to do the work required to become them.

As a general rule I now rarely tell people about my bigger goals, especially close friends and family where this effect is particularly powerful. I like keeping the motivation bottled up inside, not letting it out until I have actually achieved something.

Edited 2 hours ago by something_else

[LordFall]

22 minutes ago, something_else said:

I often find telling people about my goals makes me less inclined to follow through. When I noticed this I researched it and there is actually a relatively well-understood mechanism behind it. It's called the Gollwitzer Substitution Effect. 

The general idea is that telling people about your goals can make the desired identity feel partly achieved before you've actually earned it. That social recognition gives you some of the psychological reward of already being that person, which can reduce your motivation to do the work required to become them.

As a general rule I now rarely tell people about my bigger goals, especially close friends and family where this effect is particularly powerful. I like keeping the motivation bottled up inside, not letting it out until I have actually achieved something.

I think the complete opposite bro. I think it helps you distinguish between authentic goals and a need for validation. If you talk about your goals and people tell you "great job that sounds awesome man you got this!" then it solves the need for social validation in the back of your psyche and you now have your full brainpower available to focus on the real vision.

For me I find that my real goals are so audacious that I have to speak them aloud to stretch my baseline and kill the limiting beliefs. Then I find myself more able to consistently work towards them without getting as much anxiety around it. 

You gave me a good idea for a post on limiting beliefs, I'll make it. 

Edited 2 hours ago by LordFall

[something_else]

10 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I think the complete opposite bro. I think it helps you distinguish between authentic goals and a need for validation. If you talk about your goals and people tell you "great job that sounds awesome man you got this!" then it solves the need for social validation in the back of your psyche and you now have your full brainpower available to focus on the real vision.

For me I find that my real goals are so audacious that I have to speak them aloud to stretch my baseline and kill the limiting beliefs. Then I find myself more able to consistently work towards them without getting as much anxiety around it. 

You gave me a good idea for a post on limiting beliefs, I'll make it. 

It's simply an effect noted in some people, and I notice the effect in myself. It doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, you may be different.

I don't have that much interest in wildly ambitious goals, although I can see the value in them. They just don't work particularly well for me personally as a motivational tool. Small, achievable process-focused goals tend to work better for me.

By process-focused goals I mean setting goals for consistency rather than outcome. For example if I want to get good at a particular skill, say a sport, gym, dating, programming etc. I set a goal like "I will go out 2 nights per week and initiate conversations with 5 people" instead of "I will be dating a model by the end of the year".

Again, everybody is different. For some people the latter works better.

One of the books on Leo's book list called Mastery covers my thoughts on this quite well. One of its central points is that mastery in a domain comes largely from consistency and learning to enjoy the process rather than constantly focusing on results.