Women Are Drugs

[PsychedelicEagle]

9 hours ago, Kokorec said:

writing style scream ai, and I want to argue and make it seem like I am above those points but I am not and they are too valid to argue with 

I often use AI to brainstorm, but I wrote the post myself. I deliberately use ; and — in my writing.

Sure, I'm not saying you're below or above such points, just providing some leverage points. These are often dynamic depending on your life stage. I still find myself craving sex or female companionship at times, but at a much lower frequency and intensity than before I "solidified" myself into post-conventional stages.

Only recently some of these perspectives made into what seems the emotional layer of my self, changing my experience (how I feel) and behavior. The example I gave with moving into post-conventional happened to me personally.

[ElvisN]

@Leo Gura Why did you have so many women?

[ElvisN]

@Natasha Tori Maru You're a sweetheart

[ElvisN]

@Inliytened1 Don't be so horny bro

[How to be wise]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It is hardwired into your brain.

Somebody forgot their own teachings.

 

[LordFall]

15 hours ago, How to be wise said:

Every time I encounter an attractive woman, I ask myself three questions. These are Girard’s checklist for mimetic desire. First, do other men want her. Two, does she want you, and three, does she value herself. Mimetic desire says that you copy other people’s desires. So you copy the men who want her, and you even copy the woman herself, who desires or values herself. If she doesn’t want you, that also creates mimetic desire.

If however, I encounter a woman who does not tick the mimetic checklist, that would mean it is in fact spontaneous desire, which is desire that came from inside me.

I’ve never met a woman who I desired that did not tick, if not all, then at least one of the mimetic checklist. I will find it interesting to desire a woman and know that it is not mimetic. 

That's an interesting framework. I think it's not the full psychological picture though.

I do think some men have a trophy wife sort of psychology and are attracted to women other men find hot. There are also plenty of others and perhaps the majority that are turned off by the competitive aspect and specifically like the diamond in the rough kind of woman or man. 

Plenty of people are also turned off by narcissistic women who think too highly of themselves. Some others are drawn to that. I think my analysis that mimetic desire encompasses only about 30-40% of dating attraction should be accurate if we found a way to quantify it objectively. 

If we're talking about myself personally though I do love a slightly obsessed woman that's high maintenance like my own little princess. I would be way turned off by a woman with low self-esteem. I'm trying to think of why that is I think part of it is indeed if she thinks she's the shit then perhaps she's right but it's also the fact that low self-esteem people have all kinds of neurosis that I'm not particularly looking to deal with. 

Edited 10 hours ago by LordFall

[enchanted]

19 hours ago, Kokorec said:

Why do men need women so much, other than re-production and child care. 

 

I'm investigating it in myself and also ask you to see how you feel and why?

 

Personally there is a part of me that looks for a woman's approval more than a man's, sex is a big driver in my life also. Yet am not quite aware why.

Help me  @Leo Gura 

What a great question. My uncle once told me "everything in society is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." 

The Don Juan style players think they are being bad ass by collecting and showing off women/ wives but this has been a common trope and status symbol since time immemorial. 

A hot wife has the same empty promises of a fancy car. Many men are under the delusion that it will make them happy and respected. 

Research shows that our spouses make up about 60% of our life satisfaction so it's important to find someone who isn't just pretty. Alain De Botton is a genius and has a lot to say on the topic. I would check out his work. 

 

Edited 9 hours ago by enchanted

[Joshe]

26 minutes ago, enchanted said:

The Don Juan style players think they are being bad ass by collecting and showing off women/ wives but this has been a common trope and status symbol since time immemorial. 

A hot wife has the same empty promises of a fancy car. Many men are under the delusion that it will make them happy and respected. 

💯 Also highly recommend exploring all of Alain de Botton. 

[enchanted]

20 hours ago, Kokorec said:

Why do men need women so much, other than re-production and child care. 

 

I'm investigating it in myself and also ask you to see how you feel and why?

 

Personally there is a part of me that looks for a woman's approval more than a man's, sex is a big driver in my life also. Yet am not quite aware why.

Help me  @Leo Gura 

Evolution, need for connection/family, hormones, social conditioning. 

[enchanted]

18 minutes ago, Joshe said:

💯 Also highly recommend exploring all of Alain de Botton. 

Isn't he amazing? He went to Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard, became a psychiatrist in his fifties. Has written over 50 books. 

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, enchanted said:

What a great question. My uncle once told me "everything in society is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." 

The Don Juan style players think they are being bad ass by collecting and showing off women/ wives but this has been a common trope and status symbol since time immemorial. 

A hot wife has the same empty promises of a fancy car. Many men are under the delusion that it will make them happy and respected. 

Research shows that our spouses make up about 60% of our life satisfaction so it's important to find someone who isn't just pretty. Alain De Botton is a genius and has a lot to say on the topic. I would check out his work. 

 

Leo Gura -> Bald

Alain de Botton -> Bald

Aang the last airbender and Avatar -> Bald

Perhaps hair is the impediment to being able to channel peak high consciousness? Should I shave it all boys and girls?

On a more serious note, let's not reduce sex appeal to wanting to impress other people. Having a hot wife because you enjoy fucking hot people makes sense, Occam's razor is a real thing.

Levelling up enough to attract in demand people is hard, let's not fall for the cognitive bias of sour grapes here. 

Edited 8 hours ago by LordFall

[Joshe]

51 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Isn't he amazing? He went to Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard, became a psychiatrist in his fifties. Has written over 50 books. 

Yeah, he’s fucking brilliant. I bought as much of his stuff that I could find several years back. 

[enchanted]

4 hours ago, LordFall said:

Leo Gura -> Bald

Alain de Botton -> Bald

Aang the last airbender and Avatar -> Bald

Perhaps hair is the impediment to being able to channel peak high consciousness? Should I shave it all boys and girls?

Yes there is an uncanny resemblance. Many other bald people are successful too like David Goggins. It's a power look. 

4 hours ago, LordFall said:

On a more serious note, let's not reduce sex appeal to wanting to impress other people. Having a hot wife because you enjoy fucking hot people makes sense, Occam's razor is a real thing.

Levelling up enough to attract in demand people is hard, let's not fall for the cognitive bias of sour grapes here. 

Fair enough. Perhaps I am bitter about something. I'll reconsider this idea. 

[LordFall]

27 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Yes there is an uncanny resemblance. Many other bald people are successful too like David Goggins. It's a power look. 

Fair enough. Perhaps I am bitter about something. I'll reconsider this idea. 

Well you do have a point but not the full point. Sour grapes just means disliking what you cannot get or I mean even if you can get it, you feel like perhaps it's too hard and rationalize it's not worth getting at all. It's a fair point to say that beauty is not everything but let's not demonize attractive people or talk ourselves out of attracting hot women. 

It's also about self-awareness and knowing what you want. If I walk down the street in downtown Montreal I can see dozens of really attractive women. I want to sleep with some of them. Perhaps it's not as important for others but usually men talk themselves out of beautiful women because their subconscious makes a calculation that they can't get them, or it's too hard might as well not try. Pretending that beauty is not real so you can sleep easier at night seems a bit silly and that's why I spend time working on my self-development, social circle and status so that I have an abundance of options when it comes to my dating life.

I encourage every man to do the same. 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Eskilon]

It's not that women are drugs, it's the sexual energy inside you who is running the show and hypnotizing you.

If you didn't have it, you probably wouldn't care at all about women. It would be a completely neutral experience just like your relationship to a table is.

Edited 3 hours ago by Eskilon

[Jordan of the Shire]

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

I read the last sentence of OP’s original post and then re-read the title of the post and it made me laugh when I focused on those only those two sentences 

😂

That is really funny

[Emerald]

I think the main issue comes from the fact that you're not seeing women as average fellow human beings.

You're seeing them either as a drug that you're addicted to... or as an all-powerful existential judge that has the capacity to validate or invalidate your existence.

And both of those project WAY too much power onto women, that women don't actually possess.

If you just saw women as regular human beings with their own agendas and human flaws, there would still be a sexual draw towards them, of course... but it would remove all the excess psychological projection that intensifies your feelings of lack and the longing for validation.

Basically, start seeing women as whole people and decenter your self-concept from what they think about you... so that you can separate your basic emotional and biological drivers towards romantic/sexual relationship from your sense of existential validity.

If women are believed to be the arbiters of your existential validity, there will be a strong desperation for women's validation. And any tiny piece of female attention will feel like a drug to an addict in withdrawal.

So, women are not a drug that you're powerless to. And women are not all-powerful existential judges of male worth that you're powerless to.

They're just people, making their way through life like you are.

[LordFall]

@Emerald Careful, Emerald. If guys stop treating female validation like fentanyl, half the dating advice industry will go bankrupt overnight. That pops the AI bubble, triggers the prophesied Armageddon, and collapses the entire universe. You're playing with fire here.

[Yimpa]

Quote

Women Are Drugs 

On a personal note, I couldn’t have integrated being a trans woman without hormone replacement therapy (HRT). There’ll obviously be certain people who’ll criticize that as unnatural, but that’s a lot of braindead political and religious noise. I kind of view it like psychedelics in a way. No way could I have deep insights about myself without them. The way it has transformed my internal emotional landscape and connection to my physical body is undeniable. And I see how that can piss off people who have traditional views of how reality should be. 

I love drugs (medicine), when used responsibly and with intention. And I love Women (with a capital W). And I love Myself. I still have much to learn and catch up on, given I only started transitioning as an adult, but I’m in a much better place than I was before. Egoic? Of course. But who I am now is far better than the self-destructive, porn addicted, out of control, borderline criminal ego that I was a slave to before.

Edited 1 hour ago by Yimpa

[LordFall]

25 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

On a personal note, I couldn’t have integrated being a trans woman without hormone replacement therapy (HRT). There’ll obviously be certain people who’ll criticize that as unnatural, but that’s a lot of braindead political and religious noise. I kind of view it like psychedelics in a way. No way could I have deep insights about myself without them. The way it has transformed my internal emotional landscape and connection to my physical body is undeniable. And I see how that can piss off people who have traditional views of how reality should be. 

I love drugs (medicine), when used responsibly and with intention. And I love Women (with a capital W). And I love Myself. I still have much to learn and catch up on, given I only started transitioning as an adult, but I’m in a much better place than I was before. Egoic? Of course. But who I am now is far better than the self-destructive, porn addicted, out of control, borderline criminal ego that I was a slave to before.

Did your sex drive go down massively? Usually trans men report that they finally understand men when they start taking Testosterone lol. I imagine being high estrogen makes you feel things way deeper, avoid conflict more, be more anxious and not be as horny as the average male.