My Latest Insights on Dating & Game (TRIGGER WARNING)

[Zenterus]

   1. DAYGAME SUCKS

I'm about to ruffle some feathers with this one, off the bat. Keep in mind, though, that I'm speaking as someone who has been doing this for like 10 years, so I'm no longer in the business of "practising," I'm here for real consistent results and daygame doesn't provide you that. In fact, if the purpose of Game and self actualization is to develop yourself into a high value individual (for real, not as a facade) then daygame is a complete antithesis to that. What High Value man runs around during the daytime, scouting for girls to approach? A man who isn't on his purpose and who doesn't have much of a life. Daygame has the least time-investment and ROI ratio out of all the dating strategies. Even social circle game (SCG) is superior because, while SCG is much slower, you're at least getting multiple returns on your invested time -- social media content, doing cool things with cool people, having low-pressure get-togethers to invite potential prospects to. With Day Game all you get is a couple of low-conversion rate phone numbers that you collected over a ridiculous span of time depending on how high your standards are, the occasional pull here and there -- which I personally don't care to do, at this point in my journey -- and some cardio.

I am in no way discrediting Day Game as a valid source of practise and potential connection. In fact, the best way to do Day Game is if you're on your purpose, out and about, and you approach girls who genuinely catch your fancy on your way to do the cool shit that you'd already be doing whether girls were around or not. But the concept of leaving your house, in the day time, specifically to meet girls is just.. nah. Even better is just be social and friendly with everyone in passing as you go through your day, without forcing anything ,and let connection and chemistry reveal itself, naturally. But your day should be spent pursuing your goals and hobbies, connecting with friends and family and making money. 

Now for those of you who are not convinced or you feel like this is something you have to do, then here's a little tip: Day Game during the early to mid evening, not in the afternoon, and you will get better responses.

   2. BUILDING A TRIBE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR DATING WOES

I know LordFall will be doing happy back-flips with this one. Here is a fact: Attraction is contextual. What is a High Value Man other than a man who stands out in some unique way within a context where other men are present? The reason that I can go to a club or a bar and get massive attraction and optionality is because the women there are evaluating me in comparison to other men. I could approach those same women one-on-one on the street and, while I can be charismatic as fuck and get her super attracted to me, her level of interest will pale in comparison to how she'd feel about me when she interacts with me in a social environment. In that context, she is witness to how others treat me, how my charisma and style stand out from the crowd around me and experiences the volatility of my attention which eventually will prompt her to chase me much harder than she would've otherwise. 

Most of pickup was developed before the social media age and it is time for it to adapt. When you're going out to socialize, the goal should be equally to make cool friends as it is to meet attractive women. Invite these new friends to go out with you, to come to the gym with you, meet their friends, throw parties, travel together, share ideas. This will result in you living a way more interesting life, which will then make your social media a lot more engaging (cool posts of you doing cool shit with cool men and women, as well as regular stories that your friends help you take), which makes meeting people a lot easier either because you're introduced to them by someone you know or because you're already having fun with your friends while out, which makes approaching effortless, or because your social media does a lot of the heavy lifting. Either way, you become a way more attractive man and dating becomes so much easier. I'd even go as far as to say that you should be aiming to be going out with people way more than going out with yourself.

Furthermore, here's another fact: For a lot of women, attraction and emotional investment is gradual not instantaneous. That means that a lot of women need to spend time around you over a longer span of time before they fully experience genuine feelings of attraction for you. Again, this is not ALL WOMEN, this is A LOT of women, there's a difference. So perhaps it's time for you to think about not only going out to cold approach and find women who you have that INSTANT chemistry with, but also taking up a dance class, swimming, starting your own meetup event or join a running club that will open your dating pool to the rest of women that need that gradual connection.

Lastly, social circle game creates the most optimal conditions for you to get your dream dating life. Women are more likely to hold you in very high regard and be utmost compliant to you when you're in a leadership position of a social circle that they're a part of and have been exposed to your power of influence over a prolonged period. This doesn't mean you can't get your dream dating life through pickup, by the way. Of course you can, I've done it, but there're levels beyond. If you're able to combine pickup with social circle and social media game, you're putting yourself in the best position to be pursued by attractive women who are, therefore, a lot more open to having whatever type of relationship you want because of all the social value you have concentrated around yourself, granted you did a good job at branding yourself in the right way. 

   3. WOMEN ACTUALLY DON'T LIKE PLAYERS

Pickup teaches you this concept of the Lover vs Provider. The Lover being the fun, adventurous, abundant guy who doesn't give a fuck and is a bit of a wild stallion. The Provider being the safe option, the guy who went to school, got a good job and lives a very quiet boring life with very little social value, flow or swagger to him. Of course, no one wants to be the Provider, everyone wants to be the Lover because he gets the "better end of the deal." In the case you want a girlfriend, pickup teaches you to lead with being a Lover ALWAYS and then once you hookup with the girl, slowly transition into revealing more Provider qualities in you as she progressively invests in you. But actually, you want to be both from the start. The type of girl that would be attracted to a guy playing around with multiple girls in the environment, isn't a very high quality girl. Players screen for validation seeking, immature women who don't know their own worth and are, thus, looking to the player to validate them, which is why they chase their validation. A high quality woman who meets a guy in a social environment would be turned off by him flirting with multiple girls and being indecisive about who he truly wants. 

I've experienced this first hand so many times. One of my biggest sticking points is that when I go out, I enjoy having fun with multiple women and entertaining multiple options that I often times alienate women who might be a quality long-term option for me and, instead, end up being swarmed by a lot of validation seeking thots. The fact that you're still getting results doing that, makes it hard for you to see it as a faulty strategy because "Hey, these girls want me so it clearly works!" It takes a lot of reflection to realize that the women you alienated doing that were actually more mature compared to those that chased after you. Now, you still want to create options for yourself and interact with multiple women, but keep it lowkey and civil. Don't be too physical with any of them until you decided that they are your primary target and have a higher standard for the types of girls that you're interacting with. When all is said and done, you should be choosing between 2 or, maximum, 3 girls at any given night out socializing. The rest should've been disqualified way before it was time for you to make a decision for who you're sticking it out with for the evening. I do understand, though, that this point probably isn't very relevant to most of you.

   4. LOOKSMAXXING

This one is obvious yet I see so many guys dismissing it completely. Looks. Fucking. Matter. Dude. I'm not an advocate for plastic surgery and all this black pill bullshit, but you should be maximizing your fashion, grooming and overall physique. This does wonders for your game. Study the men around you who are dating the women that you want and adapt their style to yourself in an authentic way. This is important. Your look is the most immediate demonstration of value that the girl becomes aware of and so many guys pay little attention to it. It says a lot about you when you're able to dress in a way that fits a badass archetype of man comfortably without having cognitive dissonance or imposter syndrome -- which is why a lot of men don't do it. I won't harp on this point too much, but this isn't about looking like a buffed out Alpha Male. I know guys who are fat who are badasses. They dress in a cool way, have tattoos, masculine facial hair, a few nice accessories, a mullet and are surrounded by women. On the flip side, I know men who are physically fit and have a chiseled jaw that dress like their mom picks out their outfits. Now, I would advice most of you to get in shape, so please don't take the above example as an excuse not to, but the point is make sure you look as badass as you can right now. It matters.

Edited 4 hours ago by Zenterus

[LordFall]

Yes Zenterus! You have probably the most well thought out dating takes on the forum. I crown you dating philosopher king.

It couldn't possibly be because you resonate with a lot of my ideas, I would never fall pray to such silly psychology. 

I like your insight on being interesting looking and not just 10% body fat greek god, that's a good point. A lot of "blue pill" men tend to be not able to get out of their comfort zones in all kinds of ways and one of those is just looking like any other dude out there. Women are interested in different archetypes and if you're just basic man number 8 at a party you're fighting an uphill battle.

A lot of dudes in the fashion industry are really cool looking and have a unique vibe to them just by experimenting with different styles and finding what works for them. I tried out grey colored contacts for a while and that got me really good reactions from women. I want to pierce my ears and get cross earrings next I feel like that is a badass style. 

Also there is a hidden frame control component to it that gives you a bit more power than other men. The billionaire with the t shirt in the sea of 6 figure dudes with suits type of thing. If you're comfortable standing out from the crowd it's an honest signal of confidence.

It's true that women don't like players in that they seek stability and a dude trying to fuck women left and right might be exciting but probably not be there for them when they need help or are preggo. That's why I always liked the idea of the purple pill concept. Take the beta qualities from the blue pill guys and the edginess of a red pill guy and be an interesting powerful man who doesn't submit to the conformity of society while still being a reliable supportive man.

The coolest part about building a tribe is that you get to choose your own adventure type of thing. By joining a social circle or just living in the same frinend group you've had since you were 12 or by going to a club you're really existing in social constructs that are not your own. Build it and they will come!  

 

Edited 5 hours ago by LordFall

[Ulax]

Got to have evaluate an evaluation stage

[Rafael Thundercat]

Great ideias