I feel an invisible barrier to connection

[Hugo Oliveira]

I know there’s a lot of practical advice out there. Self-improvement, looks, status, communication skills, body language, cold approach, and all that.

I’ve tried quite a lot of this stuff over the years, and I do get results here and there. I’ve had some sex, relationships, etc.

The point is: I still can’t understand why connecting is so hard for me.

Why do I keep feeling invisible, unworthy, or somehow disconnected? Why do women so often ghost, ignore, disappear, reject, or end up getting involved with someone else? I don't see any coherent evidence for that.

Maybe unresolved trauma, shadow work to be done... IDK about this pattern, man. I'm tired. 

I just feel like it is not fair, and sometimes things happen in a weird, bad way I can't comprehend.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRIV-fnFXlk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsNN6xaav-8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LHGiMiHx_Y  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tYMsLRlwg  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEAgJGJhsEI  

Edited 2 hours ago by Raze

[Yimpa]

Study self-compassion by Kristin Neff and try this test:

https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

[enchanted]

3 hours ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

I know there’s a lot of practical advice out there. Self-improvement, looks, status, communication skills, body language, cold approach, and all that.

I’ve tried quite a lot of this stuff over the years, and I do get results here and there. I’ve had some sex, relationships, etc.

The point is: I still can’t understand why connecting is so hard for me.

Why do I keep feeling invisible, unworthy, or somehow disconnected? Why do women so often ghost, ignore, disappear, reject, or end up getting involved with someone else? I don't see any coherent evidence for that.

Maybe unresolved trauma, shadow work to be done... IDK about this pattern, man. I'm tired. 

I just feel like it is not fair, and sometimes things happen in a weird, bad way I can't comprehend.

Ah to change or not to change that is the question. 

If you still have energy for changing then film yourself and rewatch the videos looking for body language, voice, and what words you choose. Maybe show a coach or some other expert or anyone willing to give you feedback. 

If you are tired of self development just find someone who will accept you the way you are and don't let them go, and treat them right and spoil them. They might not be your dream partner but you can't always get what you want and romance isn't everything in life. 

Trust me there is plenty of fish in the sea. Even the most low IQ and unattractive people find love so you can too. 

Edited 2 minutes ago by enchanted