Does body count matter for you?

[Xonas Pitfall]

• Covert manipulation, "hooking" the girl even though you don't want to commit.
• Not respecting the fundamental sovereignty of a person. Wanting them as young, inexperienced, and clueless as possible so you can tamper with their sense of self, taste, preferences, and sovereignty.
• A high amount of social conformity and concern for how you appear to the social crowd of people, especially other men talking behind your back.
• Seeing another person as something to be "licked," "used," "showed off," or used as validation to gain social conformity from other men. Even more conformist.

I don't understand how someone can claim they care about spirituality, truth, "the Tao," with this mentality. This is very clear.

There is nothing wrong if you want to be polyamorous, but this is not "spirituality/honest/love" polyamory at all. All of these types of thinking go directly against everything Actualized.org and Leo stand for and spent years trying to define.

You can definitely try to be polyamorous and still be loving, but this isn't it.

The whole approach is fundamentally flawed.

[Lyubov]

10 minutes ago, AION said:

Thanks I will contemplate this. But how not to get cut off from the Tao though?

You need to live with integrity. You need to honor your preferences and look for the girl who matches your preference or accept whichever girl you end up being with. Do not act surprised and be insecure when there are things about her you do not wish to accept when they were clearly communicated to you in various ways 95% of the time. Then when the other 5% of lack of experience or knowledge rears its head you go and blame her for your lack of experience and discernment. Obviously any girl who is 27, hot and with tattoos fucked some other guys. You do not need her to wear a sign over her head saying that. You either accept that and stop judging your own value based on someone else’s life and continue to see her or you honor your preference for a woman that is different and look for someone else who aligns with your preference. 

Edited 54 minutes ago by Lyubov

[LordFall]

4 minutes ago, AION said:

I don’t have crazy goals though. I just want one wife and child. But I want to develop myself so much that if our relationship ends I will be able to find a new gf the next month. So now I’m just training myself in various social and emotional skills. I have codependency. That is my biggest obstacle to overcome. 

That's fine. To be monogamous it's actually way more important to be selective than if you want to be polyamorous and date multiple women like I do. You're looking to entangle your entire life to one person and combine yourselves as legal entites and to purchase financial assets together.

To not be very sure of what you want and to start to commit to women quickly instead of taking your time to date multiple ones and vet them over long periods of time is insanity and how a lot of men(and women!) get wrecked in marriage. 

I would go on at least 30+ dates before thinking of committing to just one. 

I would encourage you to write that journal like I've suggested and post it here or in the journal section. I think it will be a useful exercise both for yourself and other men on here to learn about self-awareness. 

Edited 53 minutes ago by LordFall

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, AION said:

You don’t get any pussy. That is for sure. 

Do not understand how you made it to almost 3k posts around here and did not get banned.

[Ulax]

2 hours ago, Valach said:

Which is an argument which you basically try to use with everyone who does not operate within your paradigm.

2 hours ago, Valach said:

How am I projecting? You had multiple instances on this forum with me, @Natasha Tori Maru, @Zenterus (sorry for the pings) and many others where whenever someone disagress with you you default to "You are projecting/spiritually bypassing/not living in enough abundance and I am right". There are many of such topics on the forum around this.

This is not discussion about monogamy or polygamy. That in itself is a very complicated debate as well.

Lol come on dude. You do that exact shit yourself

[Valach]

I never said someone is bypassing or projecting. Sure, these arguments are cyclical and I can't really have any sort of "proof" of my arguments since I am just using my own experience. But then when I see questions many of the guys have on here it is quite visible that they still have a lot of development to do around the topic.

It is a inner conflict really for me. Sure, this is a dating section, but we are also on spiritual forum as @Xonas Pitfall pointed out. I would expect many of the things claimed here more on some sort of underground pickup forum, not here.

Edited 12 minutes ago by Valach