Does body count matter for you?

[Xonas Pitfall]

• Covert manipulation, "hooking" the girl even though you don't want to commit.
• Not respecting the fundamental sovereignty of a person. Wanting them as young, inexperienced, and clueless as possible so you can tamper with their sense of self, taste, preferences, and sovereignty.
• A high amount of social conformity and concern for how you appear to the social crowd of people, especially other men talking behind your back.
• Seeing another person as something to be "licked," "used," "showed off," or used as validation to gain social conformity from other men. Even more conformist.

I don't understand how someone can claim they care about spirituality, truth, "the Tao," with this mentality. This is very clear.

There is nothing wrong if you want to be polyamorous, but this is not "spirituality/honest/love" polyamory at all. All of these types of thinking go directly against everything Actualized.org and Leo stand for and spent years trying to define.

You can definitely try to be polyamorous and still be loving, but this isn't it.

The whole approach is fundamentally flawed.

[Lyubov]

10 minutes ago, AION said:

Thanks I will contemplate this. But how not to get cut off from the Tao though?

You need to live with integrity. You need to honor your preferences and look for the girl who matches your preference or accept whichever girl you end up being with. Do not act surprised and be insecure when there are things about her you do not wish to accept when they were clearly communicated to you in various ways 95% of the time. Then when the other 5% of lack of experience or knowledge rears its head you go and blame her for your lack of experience and discernment. Obviously any girl who is 27, hot and with tattoos fucked some other guys. You do not need her to wear a sign over her head saying that. You either accept that and stop judging your own value based on someone else’s life and continue to see her or you honor your preference for a woman that is different and look for someone else who aligns with your preference. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Lyubov

[LordFall]

4 minutes ago, AION said:

I don’t have crazy goals though. I just want one wife and child. But I want to develop myself so much that if our relationship ends I will be able to find a new gf the next month. So now I’m just training myself in various social and emotional skills. I have codependency. That is my biggest obstacle to overcome. 

That's fine. To be monogamous it's actually way more important to be selective than if you want to be polyamorous and date multiple women like I do. You're looking to entangle your entire life to one person and combine yourselves as legal entites and to purchase financial assets together.

To not be very sure of what you want and to start to commit to women quickly instead of taking your time to date multiple ones and vet them over long periods of time is insanity and how a lot of men(and women!) get wrecked in marriage. 

I would go on at least 30+ dates before thinking of committing to just one. 

I would encourage you to write that journal like I've suggested and post it here or in the journal section. I think it will be a useful exercise both for yourself and other men on here to learn about self-awareness. 

Edited 2 hours ago by LordFall

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, AION said:

You don’t get any pussy. That is for sure. 

Do not understand how you made it to almost 3k posts around here and did not get banned.

[Ulax]

2 hours ago, Valach said:

Which is an argument which you basically try to use with everyone who does not operate within your paradigm.

2 hours ago, Valach said:

How am I projecting? You had multiple instances on this forum with me, @Natasha Tori Maru, @Zenterus (sorry for the pings) and many others where whenever someone disagress with you you default to "You are projecting/spiritually bypassing/not living in enough abundance and I am right". There are many of such topics on the forum around this.

This is not discussion about monogamy or polygamy. That in itself is a very complicated debate as well.

Lol come on dude. You do that exact shit yourself

[Valach]

I never said someone is bypassing or projecting. Sure, these arguments are cyclical and I can't really have any sort of "proof" of my arguments since I am just using my own experience. But then when I see questions many of the guys have on here it is quite visible that they still have a lot of development to do around the topic.

It is a inner conflict really for me. Sure, this is a dating section, but we are also on spiritual forum as @Xonas Pitfall pointed out. I would expect many of the things claimed here more on some sort of underground pickup forum, not here.

Edited 1 hour ago by Valach

[Ulax]

55 minutes ago, Valach said:

I never said someone is bypassing or projecting. Sure, these arguments are cyclical and I can't really have any sort of "proof" of my arguments since I am just using my own experience. But then when I see questions many of the guys have on here it is quite visible that they still have a lot of development to do around the topic.

It is a inner conflict really for me. Sure, this is a dating section, but we are also on spiritual forum as @Xonas Pitfall pointed out. I would expect many of the things claimed here more on some sort of underground pickup forum, not here.

I can understand why you might believe this is a spiritual forum. But this isn't a spiritual forum.

[Inliytened1]

4 hours ago, AION said:

I like a girl but I can’t get over the fact she has tattoos and I heard she had some violent bfs. She is only 27 and really stunning looking and great personality. Usually going for younger but she is really relationship material. To be honest I prefer inexperienced girl who lacks relationship experience. I can’t phantom the idea of me walking down the street and some guys laughing behind my back. If I don’t want to have kids I wouldn’t mind because it is just for fun. But if I want to start a family it does matter for me.  I don’t want to inherent all of her emotional baggage and shit. Although she is an arm candy and it is amazing to show off. That is just a temporary thing. 

Bro..over thinking AGAIN.  Do you wanna get laid or do you want a relationship.  You can't have both.  You don't get both.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, AION said:

That is what I’m trying. I’m trying to love multiple women and not be fixated on one. It is such a liberating state to not be tied to one source of love. 

The irony is that you want to settle down with a woman and also fuck around, but you don’t want the woman you settle down with to have done the same. That is really not fair.

Either you fuck around and don’t care if the woman has too, or you don’t fuck around and find a woman who hasn’t either. This mindset of “I will fuck around and bring my baggage to the relationship, but strictly demand a virgin bride who has no baggage” is, quite honestly, a sign of deep-rooted insecurity.

This is also apparent in caring that “other men may be laughing at you.” Like dude, grow up. That’s high school level thinking. You claim you’re this strong willed alpha dude, but it’s really just the most basic stereotype of a hyper-masculine front to compensate for a deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy. It fools nobody.

Edited 56 minutes ago by something_else

[Inliytened1]

Just now, something_else said:

The irony is that you want to settle down with a woman and also fuck around, but you don’t want the woman you settle down with to have done the same. That is really not fair.

Either you fuck around and don’t care if the woman has too, or you don’t fuck around and find a woman who hasn’t either. This mindset of “I will fuck around and bring my baggage to the relationship, but strictly demand a virgin bride who has no baggage” is, quite honestly, a sign of deep-rooted insecurity.

This is also apparent in caring that “other men may be laughing at you.” Like dude, grow up. That’s high school level thinking. You claim you’re this strong willed alpha dude, but it’s really just the most basic stereotype of a hyper-masculine front to compensate for a deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy. It fools nobody.

He doens't know if he wants to be a real man yet he's stuck between getting pussy and anything meaningful.  Can't blame him though.

[Xonas Pitfall]

30 minutes ago, Ulax said:

I can understand why you might believe this is a spiritual forum. But this isn't a spiritual forum.

Quote

• Truth/Reality/Consciousness/Enlightenment
• Openmindedness
• Authenticity/Honesty
• Developing awareness & mindfulness
• Emotional awareness & mastery

• Being vigilant of our infinite capacity for self-deception in all its forms:
  • Dogma
  • Black & white thinking
  • Superstitious thinking
  • Warping of our worldview due to ego & personal bias
  • Narcissism
  • Vanity
  • Hedonism
  • Group think & social conditioning
  • Arm-chair philosophy
  • Academic snobbery or technical argumentation
  • Debate
  • Acting superior
  • Judging/criticizing others

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

• Being vigilant of our infinite capacity for self-deception in all its forms:
  • Dogma
  • Black & white thinking
  • Superstitious thinking
  • Warping of our worldview due to ego & personal bias
  • Narcissism
  • Vanity
  • Hedonism
  • Group think & social conditioning
  • Arm-chair philosophy
  • Academic snobbery or technical argumentation
  • Debate
  • Acting superior
  • Judging/criticizing others

He's right it's dogshit.  Heck, we are all a bunch of horny dudes trying to get laid.  How could any of us have any spiritual inclination? 

[Xonas Pitfall]

17 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

He doens't know if he wants to be a real man yet he's stuck between getting pussy and anything meaningful.  Can't blame him though.

He can admit he just wants to fuck and have fun, "burning through karma," as it is. The issue most people have is that he comes on the forum and starts claiming that he understands the "dark deep Truth of women, dating, and sexuality"; how he is truly masculine, a playboy, etc. Presents himself as deeply concerned with spirituality, truth, and returning to old, traditional, "holy" values.

He judges women with an absurd level of harshness, reducing them to their age, sexual experience, body count, emotional maturity, and every other metric he uses to determine their worth.

Yet after all of that extremely confident, boastful, and judgmental rhetoric, he comes here and retreats into:

"Well, um, idk what I want >.< Fuck or Commit? and I'm scared of getting judged by other men... um, unsure... I want them malleable, and no hard emotions, no baggage for meee >.<"

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

He's right it's dogshit.  Heck, we are all a bunch of horny dudes trying to get laid.  How could any of us have any spiritual inclination? 

Sure. The forum will be whatever the forum will be. But you cannot be one thing and claim to be another. A lot of what people talk about here isn't spirituality. It's ego, which, again, is expected and completely normal. Just don't present yourself as something that you aren't.

I'm not necessarily saying that you are doing this. I'm speaking specifically within the context of this post and AION.

[AION]

28 minutes ago, something_else said:

The irony is that you want to settle down with a woman and also fuck around, but you don’t want the woman you settle down with to have done the same. That is really not fair.

Either you fuck around and don’t care if the woman has too, or you don’t fuck around and find a woman who hasn’t either. This mindset of “I will fuck around and bring my baggage to the relationship, but strictly demand a virgin bride who has no baggage” is, quite honestly, a sign of deep-rooted insecurity.

This is also apparent in caring that “other men may be laughing at you.” Like dude, grow up. That’s high school level thinking. You claim you’re this strong willed alpha dude, but it’s really just the most basic stereotype of a hyper-masculine front to compensate for a deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy. It fools nobody.

Who told you life is fair? Look around. 

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

He can admit he just wants to fuck and have fun, "burning through karma," as it is. The issue most people have is that he comes on the forum and starts claiming that he understands the "dark deep Truth of women, dating, and sexuality"; how he is truly masculine, a playboy, etc. Presents himself as deeply concerned with spirituality, truth, and returning to old, traditional, "holy" values.

He judges women with an absurd level of harshness, reducing them to their age, sexual experience, body count, emotional maturity, and every other metric he uses to determine their worth.

Yet after all of that extremely confident, boastful, and judgmental rhetoric, he comes here and retreats into:

"Well, um, idk what I want >.< Fuck or Commit? and I'm scared of getting judged by other men... um, unsure... I want them malleable, and no hard emotions, no baggage for meee >.<"

Sure. The forum will be whatever the forum will be. But you cannot be one thing and claim to be another. A lot of what people talk about here isn't spirituality. It's ego, which, again, is expected and completely normal. Just don't present yourself as something that you aren't.

I'm not necessarily saying that you are doing this. I'm speaking specifically within the context of this post and AION.

Well I open the floor to him.  Because you my brother, have laid it down.  Let's see what he comes back with.  I'm gonna grab some popcorn.

Edited 26 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[AION]

1 minute ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

He can admit he just wants to fuck and have fun, "burning through karma," as it is. The issue most people have is that he comes on the forum and starts claiming that he understands the "dark deep Truth of women, dating, and sexuality"; how he is truly masculine, a playboy, etc. Presents himself as deeply concerned with spirituality, truth, and returning to old, traditional, "holy" values.

He judges women with an absurd level of harshness, reducing them to their age, sexual experience, body count, emotional maturity, and every other metric he uses to determine their worth.

Yet after all of that extremely confident, boastful, and judgmental rhetoric, he comes here and retreats into:

"Well, um, idk what I want >.< Fuck or Commit? and I'm scared of getting judged by other men... um, unsure... I want them malleable, and no hard emotions, no baggage for meee >.<"

Sure. The forum will be whatever the forum will be. But you cannot be one thing and claim to be another. A lot of what people talk about here isn't spirituality. It's ego, which, again, is expected and completely normal. Just don't present yourself as something that you aren't.

I'm not necessarily saying that you are doing this. I'm speaking specifically within the context of this post and AION.

Spirituality is not about tucking your dick between your legs. Ken Wilber doesn’t tell me to castrate myself. Perhaps your teaching does that. I don’t subscribe to spiritual bypassing. I have fully integrated stage red and other lower stages and I’m not ashamed for it. Currently I’m tier 2 and pushing towards tier 3. 

[Inliytened1]

This is starting to heat up.  Almost like an orgasm.

[AION]

2 hours ago, LordFall said:

That's fine. To be monogamous it's actually way more important to be selective than if you want to be polyamorous and date multiple women like I do. You're looking to entangle your entire life to one person and combine yourselves as legal entites and to purchase financial assets together.

To not be very sure of what you want and to start to commit to women quickly instead of taking your time to date multiple ones and vet them over long periods of time is insanity and how a lot of men(and women!) get wrecked in marriage. 

I would go on at least 30+ dates before thinking of committing to just one. 

I would encourage you to write that journal like I've suggested and post it here or in the journal section. I think it will be a useful exercise both for yourself and other men on here to learn about self-awareness. 

I don’t know if I want to journal. This forum is very judgemental. And only incels can be that judgemental. So I’m not interested in getting blasted by sexually frustrated incels who just are angry that other guys who are not as developed as them (according to their tiny brains)) can get laid. Because one thing is for certain. Spirituality doesn’t get you laid. Spirituality and dating are two completely different domains but don’t expect those numb ***** to get that. They can’t even separate that dating and spirituality work according to different principles. 

[Inliytened1]

10 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

He can admit he just wants to fuck and have fun, "burning through karma," as it is. The issue most people have is that he comes on the forum and starts claiming that he understands the "dark deep Truth of women, dating, and sexuality"; how he is truly masculine, a playboy, etc. Presents himself as deeply concerned with spirituality, truth, and returning to old, traditional, "holy" values.

He judges women with an absurd level of harshness, reducing them to their age, sexual experience, body count, emotional maturity, and every other metric he uses to determine their worth.

Yet after all of that extremely confident, boastful, and judgmental rhetoric, he comes here and retreats into:

"Well, um, idk what I want >.< Fuck or Commit? and I'm scared of getting judged by other men... um, unsure... I want them malleable, and no hard emotions, no baggage for meee >.<"

Sure. The forum will be whatever the forum will be. But you cannot be one thing and claim to be another. A lot of what people talk about here isn't spirituality. It's ego, which, again, is expected and completely normal. Just don't present yourself as something that you aren't.

I'm not necessarily saying that you are doing this. I'm speaking specifically within the context of this post and AION.

I'm not defending him but he has the absolute right to do that.  He's thinking.  And that's good.  That's going to bring him all around.  Different points of views and things.  That's OK.  One of the best qualities of the mind is flexiblity.  You have to be elastic.

Edited 19 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

48 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Bro..over thinking AGAIN.  Do you wanna get laid or do you want a relationship.  You can't have both.  You don't get both.

Why not? This is demonstrably false in many ways.

6 minutes ago, AION said:

I don’t know if I want to journal. This forum is very judgemental. And only incels can be that judgemental. So I’m not interested in getting blasted by sexually frustrated incels who just are angry that other guys who are not as developed as them (according to their tiny brains)) can get laid. Because one thing is for certain. Spirituality doesn’t get you laid. Spirituality and dating are two completely different domains but don’t expect those numb ***** to get that. They can’t even separate that dating and spirituality work according to different principles. 

Why do you care if people blast you? It should make your vision and thoughts way more powerful. Echo chambers are very dangerous to one's philosophy and overall epistemology. I'll repost this image as I think it illustrates the concept so beautifully.Being antifragile is one of the most powerful self-development concepts I've ever encountered.

Steel is extremely solid, it can bend and resist all kind of torsion. It is one of humanity's greatest invention. Muscle is antifragile, if you tear it it grows back stronger. Same with breaking bones. Organic beings are unique in this property, actual dead matter doesn't seem to have this quality. 

 

Edited 13 minutes ago by LordFall