Ketamine for creativity - risks?

[paradiseengineering]

Hey:) 

I am interested in ketamine for creative exploration. It seems to break down the rigid mind patterns and allow me to think out of the box. Combine things in new ways, put sounds or words in a context together that seems so fresh, original and stylish. I dont have that many/deep experiences, its mostly been small amounts given to me from people at raves. A lot of my favorite musicians have used it, one of them even said it publicly and recommended it if you are stuck creatively. 

I also struggle with a restless mind, complex trauma and depression. My therapist mentioned ketamine therapy to me (along with a vipassana retreat) as things that could potentially help me. Years of talk therapy and conceptually "understanding" might have diminishing returns for me. Im saving up for a treatment now. That makes the substance even more appealing, its the creativity part and the mental health healing in one.

I have been addicted to weed and have been using it to enhance creativity for many years (with little returns in the long run). Im only 5 weeks sober so im a bit cautious of finding something potentially addictive to fill the void. Its weird because in one way I feel it could really help me and in another way it has addiction potential. The ketamine therapy is pretty expensive and im considering experimenting before, more for the creativity part.

My long term goal is to somatically release the demons that keep me stuck. I can conceptually understand things about myself (that im worthy of love and reaching my potential for example), but it just dosent sit in the body. I have this intense fear of rejection, even if people are very positive towards me. And I wanna reach my creative potential and get it into the world, dare to share my work and ideas more instead of just thinking about it all the time. I have had some success with my music/art but I feel like I have stagnated for a long time. 

I am also open to other practices and/ or substances for this if anything else might be worth considering. Or maybe questions I can ask myself to get to the answer. 

Peace<3

[Yimpa]

If you have a history of addiction and dependence you need to be doing it under medical supervision. 

[vibv]

Ketamine can be quite addictive, watch out.

[PenguinPablo]

I like the idea of this conceptually lol  

I would be wary of depending on ket for this purpose but achieving similar results even if more gradually is a great idea.

[paradiseengineering]

8 hours ago, PenguinPablo said:

I like the idea of this conceptually lol  

I would be wary of depending on ket for this purpose but achieving similar results even if more gradually is a great idea.

What do you mean by the last sentence?

 

10 hours ago, vibv said:

Ketamine can be quite addictive, watch out.

Yeah I can understand why people get hooked on it for sure.

[Leo Gura]

Only if you use it rarely, not daily or weekly.

Ketamine is not healthy.