The myth of “don’t give a fuck” energy attracting women

[Hojo]

25 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

But LordFall, that’s exactly what I’m doing. When I’m approaching I’m “self amusing,” another helpful thing the pickup crowd advises. I’m not looking for her to validate jack shit. I’m talking about what I find funny or interesting, yet it gets me no dates. 

Yes but you are getting angry. that means you are 'trying' to not give a fuck and thats not not giving a fuck. This will give so many tells to the woman as you are not being spontaneous about not giving a fuck. You are trying to not care and that dosent work cause by trying to not care is showing you care way more than someone who is trying to care.

You saying, this is not working is another tell. Whats not working? You clearly give a fuck and have a goal in mind.

Edited 10 hours ago by Hojo

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

But LordFall, that’s exactly what I’m doing. When I’m approaching I’m “self amusing,” another helpful thing the pickup crowd advises. I’m not looking for her to validate jack shit. I’m talking about what I find funny or interesting, yet it gets me no dates. To give some examples I’ll answer @amberlight’s question 

Yes I’m quite sure the reason I’m failing (when doing the dgaf method) is in fact because I come off as unhinged or creepy. That’s my entire point. Why should that matter if I’m supposed to not care what others think of me? 
 
As for your question:
I talked to a cutie working the register at an empty shop in the mall about how cool I think it would be to get naked and crawl up a dragon’s vagina and birth myself back out, I probably had more detail at the time but I do remember it was something along those lines. A woman at a bar with her friend told me she was married, to which I replied, “A ring don’t cover a hole.” My most recent was a month or two ago at the carnival. I opened a cute blonde with her friend by saying “don’t go into that portapotty. I just had a fat miscarriage in there, it’s pretty messy.” I was expecting them to look horrified but much to my shock they were receptive to the dork humor. They were like “good to know.” Then I said “just kidding I’m still pregnant with it”. This started a surprisingly lasting interaction that evolved into other areas where she just played into the bit continuously, but eventually they fist bumped me and left. Keep in mind I only open women this way as my own form of shit test to see if she’s some preppy little snowflake who will run away scared or can actually banter and because it’s the most fun. Not because I’m craving validation for being a character. Problem is, you say that type of shit at a pussy ass bar or club and you’re gone

Well the good news is that your problem is easily diagnosable my friend. You mostly lack calibration and flow in your game. 

A cold approach should basically go opener -> hook -> DHV -> asking her questions -> Teasing her -> screening for logistics -> instant date/pulling/get the IG close

If you use some principle like not giving a fuck without the proper sequence to frame it in then sure it will be unhinged or creepy.

You want your self amusing to be part of the hook/dhv/teasing her. You can try it straight from the open but that's mostly not gonna work as well as being calibrated for 5 seconds then saying something funny or weird. The unhinged shit is the push part and the pull is you being a genuinely interesting and charming man.

Try this format and report back. The cold approaching stats are pretty standardizable. For every about 10-40 approaches depending on how you look and your game level you will get an IG close and from there it should be about 1/3 turning dates and 30-60% of those turning into sex. Where would you say that your numbers are dropping off? 

[Jirh]

Somehow cavemen were able to reproduce without any theory.

This is just way too much.

Unsubscribe.

[Emotionalmosquito]

56 minutes ago, LordFall said:

A cold approach should basically go opener -> hook -> DHV -> asking her questions -> Teasing her -> screening for logistics -> instant date/pulling/get the IG close

Other than just plain fear of approaching, this is why most people never improve in the field of pickup. It’s so formulaic and variable heavy there’s barely any room to just breathe. It’s like attempting a highly complex recipe with expensive ingredients, and I hate cooking. How’re you supposed to enjoy the thrill of the hunt when your mental bandwidth is overloaded with doing all the steps correctly while also keeping track of her body language, staying alert for potential douchebag dad/bf/brother showing up, jealous friend, and the looming threat of being banned from the area if you goof up and she files a complaint?
 

Nevertheless it’s a challenge I’m ready to face. But due to my city’s relatively small population, I’ll need every shot to count. I need the most proven effective methods for beginners or autistic people. Each set should be done with sniper’s precision because I don’t have the luxury of doing thousands of approaches, learning from mistakes and leveling up that way.

58 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Where would you say that your numbers are dropping off? 

I’m sorry, can you clarify what you meant by this question? 

[Emotionalmosquito]

6 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Somehow cavemen were able to reproduce without any theory.

This is just way too much.

Unsubscribe.

Thats because consent wasn’t a thing back then. 

[Jirh]

59 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Thats because consent wasn’t a thing back then. 

Bullshit.

[something_else]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Other than just plain fear of approaching, this is why most people never improve in the field of pickup. It’s so formulaic and variable heavy there’s barely any room to just breathe. It’s like attempting a highly complex recipe with expensive ingredients, and I hate cooking. How’re you supposed to enjoy the thrill of the hunt when your mental bandwidth is overloaded with doing all the steps correctly while also keeping track of her body language, staying alert for potential douchebag dad/bf/brother showing up, jealous friend, and the looming threat of being banned from the area if you goof up and she files a complaint?

There is a reason why you are making no progress and experiencing this “no room to breathe” feeling.

There is a certain level of social skills which are a prerequisite to making progress in pickup. Without them, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never make any progress.

Making progress in pickup without baseline social skills is like learning to drive in a car without tyres on the wheel. No matter how hard you try you’re just going to keep spinning your wheels, because you need the basic equipment that makes progress possible.

You don’t have the baseline social skills required to make progress, and that’s why you feel like you’re drowning. Your mind is trying so hard to manage basic social functions that it has no room left to breathe, no room left to be playful, relaxed and charming.

The solution here is not more approaching. It isn’t doing crazy approaches with shock value to push your limits. You need to figure out basic social rules first. You need friendships and an active social circle, you need to be around people with whom you can form deeper bonds with over time. You need lots of positive social experiences that help your brain realise that you are a person people want to be around.

At that point a lot of social functions will begin to run on auto-pilot and you will free up more of your mind for charm and playfulness, which allows you to flirt with women much more naturally. You will not get this from doing endless pickup-style approaches, in fact you’re probably just shooting yourself in the foot. You need deep connections and friendships first, figure out basic social dynamics, then return to pickup

Edited 2 hours ago by something_else

[Leo Gura]

On 7/16/2026 at 9:59 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

weird/unpredictable topics.

It's easy to come off as a weirdo creeper that way, unless you are very skilled and socially aware.

Day game also requires more social calibration than a loud nightclub. Weirdo behavior at the grocery store is not a good fit.

Being too weird makes girls feel unsafe. They need to feel that you are able to be reasonable and normal.

Edited 1 hour ago by Leo Gura

[Ulax]

5 hours ago, Jirh said:

Bullshit.

You gotta chillout

[Jirh]

17 minutes ago, Ulax said:

You gotta chillout

I think you guys are way too much overthinking a simple primal thing like attraction.