The myth of “don’t give a fuck” energy attracting women

[Emotionalmosquito]

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

Edited 16 hours ago by Emotionalmosquito

[meta_male]

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

[Ulax]

8 minutes ago, meta_male said:

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

I agree that not giving a fuck is about being detached from outcome.

But if you didn't care about outcome you wouldn't ever approach anyone. Its better to have an outcome that isn't about just getting some sexual result. Like I want to have fun and connect with other cool people, and if that ends in sex then that's cool too.

[meta_male]

7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

But if you didn't care about outcome you wouldn't ever approach anyone. Its better to have an outcome that isn't about just getting some sexual result. Like I want to have fun and connect with other cool people, and if that ends in sex then that's cool too.

I see your point. But you can talk to someone or drop a comment simply because you find them interesting.

The idea that you have to constantly approach everyone is very pickup-community mindset because it's built on fear and lack. It treats human connection like a limited resource. You don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. If you are comfortable and enjoying yourself people...including women, will naturally approach you. Or at least make it very easy for you to talk to them.

[SamC]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

Its not, " I don't give a fuck as a strategy". It's actually not giving a fuck

Edited 10 hours ago by SamC

[something_else]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

'Not giving a fuck' doesn't mean totally abandoning all social norms. 

Most of the dudes who pull off this vibe are actually quite socially aware, they use that awareness to push the limits of what is socially acceptable. That can be very attractive.

What they don't do is smash through the limit of what is socially acceptable like a freight train, which is often what happens when people try to fake the "I don't give a fuck" energy. That will get you thrown out of places.

[Jirh]

I think it's mostly related to daddy issues, and you were lucky that you haven't stumbled upon any girl like that.

The daddy who left, didn't leave quietly. He left a scar that only gets relieved by scratching.

The scratch is someone who embodies the same energy. The energy of "I love you, but I don't care about you".

Self-esteem issues. She believes she doesn't deserve proper healthy love.

[Jirh]

Another explanation is that not giving a fuck is typically associated with strength and power, and it usually signals irrational confidence.

So, a girl who's trying to level up quickly will be attracted to that energy too.

[Monster Energy]

I’m sorry to say this, but if this doesn’t work for you, then maybe you’re just not that attractive. So stop claiming it doesn’t work.

Once you become enlightened, you realize this isn’t a myth. Attraction means chasing something you feel you don’t have. When you chase, people can sense that you feel empty or incomplete, which isn’t attractive.

When you genuinely don’t care about chasing validation, you naturally signal confidence and a sense of wholeness. That’s what people are truly attracted to. No one is attracted to death. They’re attracted to life. Chasing is death. Wholeness is life.

 

[amberlight]

Probably you have poor social calibration and instead off cool you come across as unhinged or creepy.

Lets say you approach a woman in a casual place like in a store or cafe, how exactly does this I don't care energy manifest?

[Ulax]

2 hours ago, meta_male said:

I see your point. But you can talk to someone or drop a comment simply because you find them interesting.

The idea that you have to constantly approach everyone is very pickup-community mindset because it's built on fear and lack. It treats human connection like a limited resource. You don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. If you are comfortable and enjoying yourself people...including women, will naturally approach you. Or at least make it very easy for you to talk to them.

Yes, i get you re the interesting thing, and I agree people can, at least on occasion, naturally approach you/ make it easier to talk to you.

I would disagree about the pickup community treating human connection like a limited resourced. I'd say its exactly the opposite. 

[Ulax]

@Emotionalmosquito Respect for all the action taking bro. 

Sounds like you need to buy a pickup program though. Who are you getting advice from atm?

[LordFall]

The main part of don't give a fuck energy is being non-reactive and being at the cause not the effect of social intereactions. You want to be as expressive and playful as possible but ultimately women will give you shit tests which are meant to test if you'll break under pressure or start antagonism her or if you're able to roll with the punches and are witty enough to tease her about it.

Be careful in emulating the toxic part of being an alpha male and being almost like a thug, I had a buddy like this it was hilarious. He would like frame battle women like square up to them and refuse to leave when they weren't interested, I had to tell bro this is not the UFC this is not how you dominate an interaction lol. How you dominate an interaction is you defuse her own anxieties and defense mechanism and you handle all the logistical problems that come up so you guys can enjoy a beautiful night of romance and loving together and forget about the pains of the world for once. 

[Schizophonia]

Even without wanting to "please women" being authentic is the only way to truly feel anyway; in general it's the path of liberation.

That doesn't mean doing stupid things; it means acting for the sake of it, intuitively, because the pleasure center, the inner compass, points toward that.

In absolute logic wanting something is fundamentally declaring and so in fine manifesting that you don't have it.

You don't want to trust your emotions and act on them, because you think that to be effective (to get someone in this case) you have to act procedurally; with what you believe you know about what is good for you and what to do. As I’ve already said somewhere it’s actually not particularly masculine it’s a neurotic and actually so a castrating reflex; because emotional crushing stems from a low position in the social hierarchy (particularly during childhood when the brain is highly plastic).

And whether you like it or not emotions are present and paramount; after all they are the very reason we seek out a partner in the first place. So if feelings are blocked in favor of a planning process especially one driven by neurotic themes, it projects the image of someone who isn't there to offer a pleasant/craved vibe.

Generally speaking women likely have less neurosis and more self-respect for a some reasons.

 

 

[LordFall]

15 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Even without wanting to "please women" being authentic is the only way to truly feel anyway; in general it's the path of liberation.

That doesn't mean doing stupid things; it means acting for the sake of it, intuitively, because the pleasure center, the inner compass, points toward that.

In absolute logic wanting something is fundamentally declaring and so in fine manifesting that you don't have it.

You don't want to trust your emotions and act on them, because you think that to be effective (to get someone in this case) you have to act procedurally; with what you believe you know about what is good for you and what to do. As I’ve already said somewhere it’s actually not particularly masculine it’s a neurotic and actually so a castrating reflex; because emotional crushing stems from a low position in the social hierarchy (particularly during childhood when the brain is highly plastic).

And whether you like it or not emotions are present and paramount; after all they are the very reason we seek out a partner in the first place. So if feelings are blocked in favor of a planning process especially one driven by neurotic themes, it projects the image of someone who isn't there to offer a pleasant/craved vibe.

Generally speaking women likely have less neurosis and more self-respect for a some reasons.

 

 

I think this is half true and half a dangerous train of thought. Children act authentically and they are not the most effective members of society. As adults we have the benefit of being able to regulate our impulses and use our developed Neo cortex to strategically plan for our goals. 

You’re right that most of that should be thrown out in the middle of talking to a girl but introspection on how that went and course correction if it did not go as planned are mandatory to achieve great results in life.