Trauma Makes You Stronger?

[ZenSwift]

In my experience, anyone who has integrated their trauma are the strongest, brightest people, and the people who haven't integrated their trauma are the most lost and the most screwed.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, integral said:

Trauma making people stronger is more myth/legend at this point,

Watch this to the end.

 

Edited 7 hours ago by Leo Gura

[integral]

21 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Watch this to the end.

 

Well, I stand corrected, that was a fantastic example.

One of the other members mentioned that we romanticize the outliers.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Butters said:

if Leo had had very serious childhood trauma, would there be an Actualized.org? Or would Leo have created a totally different product for a different audience, possibly something about healing trauma? 

You can see this in the case of Teal Swan. She had a lot of childhood trauma and her entire body of work is now about that. It's not wrong, but it is somewhat limiting to have your worldview revolve around trauma.

Edited 6 hours ago by Leo Gura

[YIDIRYIDIR]

1 hour ago, ZenSwift said:

In my experience, anyone who has integrated their trauma are the strongest, brightest people, and the people who haven't integrated their trauma are the most lost and the most screwed.

yes just yes. 100%

[Joseph Maynor]

One thing about trauma to watch out for is when you get ego backlash loops trying to fix it that happen over and over again where nothing is solved.  That becomes very noticeable and can cause setbacks in life.  

[YIDIRYIDIR]

10 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

One thing about trauma to watch out for is when you get ego backlash loops trying to fix it that happen over and over again where nothing is solved.  That becomes very noticeable and can cause setbacks in life.  

i can relate to this

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Watch this to the end.

 

This is a great share and reflects a lot of my own journey. Just in a different domain.

I feel a great motivation and compulsion to prevent physical, sexual and emotional abuse in my workplace and in interpersonal relationships. Healing also taught me how important boundaries are to wellbeing and our ability to serve ourselves first, so we can always be there for, and give back to, others. Be our best for others. And this means never abandoning ourselves. We put on our own oxygen mask in a flight emergency first. I often step in to prevent abuse and issues. But not at my own expense and always best outcome mutually.

I myself, previously, took a lot of pride in my ability to withstand negative pressure and environments. Pride in my resilience. But this pride was something I had to learn to discard as often people make themselves martyrs. And it has the propensity to enable abuse that can cause trauma 'I can handle his violence'. Many people fall prey to taking pride in their ability to withstand abuse. I tend to reach out and assist those who display those previous traits I had, to prevent unconscious trauma. Sometimes I cannot stop myself.

Healing from trauma can give one a saviour complex that can also be detrimental in other ways. It is a good warning not to make ones healing from trauma (and attachment to story) a huge focus. It can hold us back in other ways we do not foresee.

Edited 6 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[integral]

It's unclear who a person would've became if they were never traumatized.

I made it till 21 without excessive trauma, and then after that point, it is unclear to me that I'm better off after experiencing severe trauma.

Sure, I'm likely changed as a person, but it's unclear who I would've became if I didn't have to go through all that in my 20s and 30s.

The police officer was a standard typical guy with no sense for anything fat and plump. And the trauma triggered him into self-development.

Sadguru didn't have severe trauma. 

Everyone is romanticizing the epic origin story, If you have the right makeup and are lucky you're going to grow from it.

Edited 6 hours ago by integral

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, integral said:

Sadguru didn't have severe trauma.

He is a genetic freak.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

9 minutes ago, integral said:

Everyone is romanticizing the epic origin story

This is a judgement. It misses the point.

Trauma can change where you derive meaning. People who have overcome trauma aren't necessarily glorifying it, but reclaiming sovereignty and authorship from something that once stripped them of control.

It doesn't have to have any attachment to a story involved for it to change trajectory.

In the end much of this work is about dissolving conditioning - which can be trauma.

Edited 5 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Leo Gura]

Severe trauma is usually a net negative. What you want is mild trauma which doesn't cripple you, which you can overcome and integrate.

[integral]

26 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This is a judgement. It misses the point.

Trauma can change where you derive meaning. People who have overcome trauma aren't necessarily glorifying it, but reclaiming sovereignty and authorship from something that once stripped them of control.

It doesn't have to have any attachment to a story involved for it to change trajectory.

In the end much of this work is about dissolving conditioning - which can be trauma.

I agree with this of course. The point that was making is that it's rare. And I wanted to make a distinction between trauma that you just can't recover from.

I've seen more people not recover than recover by a huge amount. Only a fraction of people have the capacity to integrate things this is a superstar ability. 

If your a superstar integrator, Trauma is valuable. ⭐️  Lets not downplay the value of trauma.

Edited 5 hours ago by integral

[AtmanIsBrahman]

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

He is a genetic freak.

How do you know this?

[integral]

51 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

He is a genetic freak.

44 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Severe trauma is usually a net negative. What you want is mild trauma which doesn't cripple you, which you can overcome and integrate.

Thats a solid point. How likely is it that someone is able to integrate? Do they need to have genetic gifts? 

To integrate trauma it forces you to care about truth. But most people can't integrate because they just can't prioritize truth, and dig deeper into corrupt coping mechanisms.

Edited 5 hours ago by integral

[Lyubov]

I think it’s an interesting question but sometimes I don’t think it’s the one to be asking. I think a simple answer is that in general, no, trauma doesn’t make you stronger. It’s like saying does being sick make you stronger. The thing is though it comes down to how you look at it. If you choose an empowering belief that leads to the next natural steps such as “trauma makes me stronger I will overcome this and be better for it.” Then of course you will indeed. But it wasn’t the trauma that held this but the belief that you can overcome anything, which is spiritual and true. Trauma are powerful experiences which can sometimes heavily shape our lives. I think a better way of looking at it is focusing on how we handle it after the fact of what has happened. Usually when we accept our past, learn from it and realize it no longer shapes our life it opens up a lot of opportunities for growth and wisdom. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Lyubov

[Oppositionless]

6 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

It can go both ways. It appears to be linked to genetics (how we respond, which predispositions are activated).

How each person responds is totally different.

And some people have very little trauma and still manage to have abysmal mental health. No one myself included could understand why I was miserable all through childhood and early adulthood. Thankfully psychedelics and good friends seem to have taken care of most of it.