Dating as a low value man is inevitably painful

[LordFall]

This is generally a red pill topic but I find can also be deeply spiritual. Most men and a lot of the comments and the post I see on this forum come from a low value mindset and perspective. Your viewpoint thus is corrupted because the problems that you complain about are more based on macroeconomics and personal responsibility than actual dating and cultural trends worth addressing. 

Have a career/business that allows you some financial independence and pleasant lifestyle and work on your emotional trauma and communication skill and you'll have an infinitely abundant dating life and rise above 90% of the problems the average man has to deal with. 

[Tudo]

Not just a low value man, I would dare to say that if you aren’t in the top 5%, or lucky enough to have had a high school or college crush who really liked you and eventually became your girlfriend and later your wife, dating as a man is pretty hard.

A average man have to deal so much with rejection. Most women can't even imagine what it is really like.

Edited 14 hours ago by Tudo

[Leo Gura]

Life is inevitably painful.

Suck it up and talk to girls.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Tudo said:

A average man have to deal so much with rejection. Most women can't even imagine what it is really like.

......,and this is the issue with men who think like this. That women don't have their share of issues and challenges in the dating world. Way more than feeling like someone doesn't even know your last name said no just like a prospective employer may choose another applicant because they seem more qualified for that particular job at hand. The person that didn't get a call back, or most people, aren't home sulking, crying rejection, telling other companies and prospective employees that they don't know what it's like to not get a call back from Wendy's or Nordstrom up the street. For most, it's just....NEXT. 

That cat at the shelter that you didn't choose isn't saying to itself and cat owners that they don't know what it's like to feel rejected it just goes about licking it's paws, eating and shitting and eyeing out the next victim that comes along and if it likes them, it might show a little more personality , other than that it's life goes on as usual.

Now you want to make it about you and how haarrd it is to get a woman to say yes for you just approaching them with no incentive to say yes and come on a forum and write how women don't even know how hard it is while the women have to worry about safety, who just wants to get in her pants and her pants alone, if he's a dick or a psychopathic loser philanderer, misogynist, have to vet and make sure he is who he says he is as far as not being a rapist or that he's not actually married or already taken, and these are just some issues women have to contend with before even getting to know the man and is in the initial stage. If you ask me a little rejection or a lot of rejection seems better to deal with than the mental strains of all I mentioned and more. 

[LordFall]

Rejection is fine its mostly about having a plan to not keep hitting your head against the wall for decades and have a stressful and toxic relationship even if you do manage to get into one. The statistics for the standard of living of the average man in society are not good. 

[Leo Gura]

@LordFall You are not a statistic.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

You know... often in marketing and business they sit people down and showcase a product.

Employees will be asked to comment - 'Yeah the cup is great, beautiful outlines. Great colour' And remark it is a great product. Top notch and they would buy it for sure. It is going to be a best seller. 

Then you slap on $10.00 and ask them to purchase the cup - suddenly all those singing praises can't put their money where their mouth is. 

What people say they want when dating or looking for a relationship is actually NOT usually what they end up 'selecting'.

The wisdom here is not to let some of these dialogues/metrics limit you.

People say one thing, and do something completely different.

[AION]

If you want an easy life you are basically asking pretty girl privilege which is gay at best.

Edited 6 hours ago by AION

[Sugarcoat]

You don’t have to have your life figured out to be able to date. You don’t even have to be particularly confident inside. There’s people, both men and women, at every level in society, and I think people tend to be attracted to people and are attractive to people and compatible with those that reflect them somehow around their own “level”. So there is guaranteed people out there for you, I think important factor is just exposing yourself to people so you actually have chance to meet them. But in a way it tends to happen naturally, like if you go school you’ll notice people group themselves based on compatibility. The geeky might hang around the geeky and the more reserved people find each other and the more sociable people find each other. Usually there’s not so much excessive effort involved. 
 

That’s not to say you shouldn’t work on yourself, because if you’re unhappy about yourself it will make you suffer in your life and relationships. Like even if what I said above could sound comforting, if you don’t fix some things that’s bothering you inside or your circumstances you’re still gonna be unhappy. 

When you come to a point of being relatively content with yourself then I think the biggest factor is just meeting enough people to find a match

So basically it starts from the inside, the best partners and most fulfilling relationships can happen when you start healing, becoming a better more fulfilled version of yourself… inside out not outside in…

Edited 4 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Ramasta9]

As life goes on you will wind up realizing none of this really matters or will make a difference down the road, rather that you will always attract exactly what you need, and not always what you want. And when what you want and what you need unify, then that's what is called divine alignment.

 

[something_else]

7 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

......,and this is the issue with men who think like this. That women don't have their share of issues and challenges in the dating world. Way more than feeling like someone doesn't even know your last name said no just like a prospective employer may choose another applicant because they seem more qualified for that particular job at hand. The person that didn't get a call back, or most people, aren't home sulking, crying rejection, telling other companies and prospective employees that they don't know what it's like to not get a call back from Wendy's or Nordstrom up the street. For most, it's just....NEXT. 

That cat at the shelter that you didn't choose isn't saying to itself and cat owners that they don't know what it's like to feel rejected it just goes about licking it's paws, eating and shitting and eyeing out the next victim that comes along and if it likes them, it might show a little more personality , other than that it's life goes on as usual.

Now you want to make it about you and how haarrd it is to get a woman to say yes for you just approaching them with no incentive to say yes and come on a forum and write how women don't even know how hard it is while the women have to worry about safety, who just wants to get in her pants and her pants alone, if he's a dick or a psychopathic loser philanderer, misogynist, have to vet and make sure he is who he says he is as far as not being a rapist or that he's not actually married or already taken, and these are just some issues women have to contend with before even getting to know the man and is in the initial stage. If you ask me a little rejection or a lot of rejection seems better to deal with than the mental strains of all I mentioned and more. 

I don't think anybody here denies that woman have many challenges to face in dating as well, but that doesn't mean that you can't empathise with some of the struggles men have instead of just dismissing them.

In general it's better if both men and women try to understand the issues faced by the other gender as much as possible instead of just trying to one-up each other on the victim scale, that's not very productive. In fact it actually makes the problems both genders face worse because it increases hostility and resentment.

Edited 3 hours ago by something_else

[Miguel1]

7 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

What people say they want when dating or looking for a relationship is actually NOT usually what they end up 'selecting'.

The wisdom here is not to let some of these dialogues/metrics limit you.

People say one thing, and do something completely different.

Yup. I’ve seen some of the lowest scum and not good looking guys date the hottest girls, just because they were very delusionally confident and assure of themselves, had social skills & charisma.

On the other hand, I’ve seen really amazing guys on paper, but struggle to date.

Girls are like children. You gotta lead them with confidence & frame. They desire to follow, but you gotta provide that.

Being in victimhood and defeatist mindset is the opposite to all of that.

Edited 1 hour ago by Miguel1

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

I don't think anybody here denies that woman have many challenges to face in dating as well, but that doesn't mean that you can't empathise with some of the struggles men have instead of just dismissing them.

In general it's better if both men and women try to understand the issues faced by the other gender as much as possible instead of just trying to one-up each other on the victim scale, that's not very productive. In fact it actually makes the problems both genders face worse because it increases hostility and resentment.

I do empathize and I do understand that both have challenges. I was responding to his statement about how most women cannot even imagine what it's really like for the abundance of male rejections. My comment wasn't in denial of male's challenges. Women get passively rejected by men every day. The tall one, the fat one, the ugly one, the small boob one, the buff teeth one, the pimpled up one, the very large waisted one, the very small butt one with no shape one, I can go on.... Pick the one you don't want and are not attracted to. If I can recall, you even had a post about a female you were talking to but didn't feel attraction to. Nothing wrong, just saying rejection galore on the female side, it's just they're not being told right to their faces 'no thanks'. 

I wasn't trying to be one up on the victim scale but trying to point out that most men's rejections aren't really rejections at all because people cannot really reject something if they really don't know what they're rejecting. Just because a woman might not choose you, it doesn't mean it's a rejection and just because she might choose you it doesn't mean she rejected the others. Life is a pick and choose game and the things that aren't chosen is left for someone else to have their pick with and need not taken personally. Divorce and the end of a long-invested relationship where one leaves the other and doesn't choose them any more for whatever reason is more of a something to cry and whine about than not getting a yes from some stranger who you don't even know her name but only because you liked how she looked. Plenty where that came from but not plenty where a true love has been rejected and one needs starting over. Give me a break with these make rejection sob stories.

They are merely ego trips and a blow to how the man starts to see and think of himself which is an inside problem and inside job to fix. How a woman looks is not that easy to fix and gets passively rejected all the tome if nit up to par by the on-looker who doesn't initially care about personality which is most men in the initial stage. It's only after he's got her when her bitchy side starts to be a problem and he starts looking for a way out to go hit on the next big boob chick.

Edited 1 hour ago by Princess Arabia

[Lyubov]

Just that sentence of even viewing or labeling oneself as a low value man… 

Edited 1 hour ago by Lyubov

[Bando]

I feel for the teens/young men growing up in todays dating environment, the content & advice I had coming up while "toxic" was at least centered around going outside and talking to girls, nowadays you have these "looksmaxing" channels push this "blackpill" content essentially saying if your not a 6ft chad with a full head of hair theres no hope.

Horrible content for men with little social experience to find 

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Girls are like children. You gotta lead them with confidence & frame. They desire to follow, but you gotta provide that.

Women aren't looking to follow men, they're looking for who they want to choose to be their leader. Women are  choosing it all along the way. Men just think they're the ones making the call. Cannot lead a woman who doesn't agree to be led and who she doesn't choose to lead her. We might come off as children and seem flighty but it's a survival mechanism to feel safe because people don't like to hurt children and look at them as innocents.

It's a passive-aggressive kind of energy thing and where she exercises her masculine side and role on a passive level. All you're saying is true, but I'm showing how it came to place and how it's not so cut and dry.

Edited 1 hour ago by Princess Arabia

[Lyubov]

7 minutes ago, Bando said:

I feel for the teens/young men growing up in todays dating environment, the content & advice I had coming up while "toxic" was at least centered around going outside and talking to girls, nowadays you have these "looksmaxing" channels push this "blackpill" content essentially saying if your not a 6ft chad with a full head of hair theres no hope.

Horrible content for men with little social experience to find 

It’s rough for sure. No one is really throwing them a lifeline or rope either. To be honest all the way outs are much quieter voices. I think many of these guys are going to have to learn the hard way this belief system doesn’t work. Some will then be more open to listening, others will double down. 

[Lyubov]

Young men are being thrown red pill and gambling / sports betting. I’m wanting to make YouTube and content which targets them but offers an alternative. 

[Someone here]

6 hours ago, AION said:

If you want an easy life you are basically asking pretty girl privilege which is gay at best.

 Excuse me What's wrong with being a pretty girl or a gay man ? Dude watch the shit you post. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

This thread so far:

- me a whaaamen, why me no representeeeed

- work hard or you ghei