I probably have herpes

[Mada_]

Getting tested regularly, being symptom free and having conversations with my sexual partners I still have been unable to avoid contracting genital HSV (I don’t have swab results back yet but I can see the lesion and my last sexual partner tested positive, my chances are pretty high).  
 

The first day I got the news I spiralled, got really low. Sort of felt like my sex life was over forever, and I’d end up alone as an incel. Cried for the first time since my friend died. Talked to some friends and reading different people’s experiences on reddit it seems like people make it work. It’s pretty common, and there are whole dating apps for people who are positive. 
 

All the STI tests I’ve had have excluded HSV, I even would ask my doctor about it and he would tell me not to worry. I would ask my sexual partners their status before engaging. I wear protection most of the time, but this person and I were together quite a bit and we got lazy. HSV can lie dormant for a while and there flare up down the line and become contagious. 
 

There’s really nothing I can do except to accept my circumstances and manage it. I could get all depressed and spiral into self pity, and Blackpill myself but I don’t really see the point. There are areas in my life that people try to put me in boxes and they’re generally wrong, this could be one of those circumstances. Apart of me is held up on never finding someone, that is sort of sad to think about. I guess in reality that was already at risk of happening, having herpes would probably increase the chances of dying alone,  but I also don’t really feel entitled to live happily ever after, like some people are born quadriplegic and never find anyone willing to stick by them, so why should I be any different.

i guess I’m looking for help trying to integrate this if anyone has any experiences or thoughts 

 

[Something Funny]

@Mada_if I were a girl, I would totally date you.

Or if you were a girl...

Btw, I have herpes on my lips and I am yet to have my first kiss. Funny  

[Rishabh R]

@Mada_ That's terrifying. However, you are not alone. Many people think that they would never find someone for whatever reason. As a 24 year old (turning 25 by December) single male I found it to be helpful to replace assumptions about the future with not-knowing. For example earlier I was battling with the beleif that I would never find someone. Now I tell myself that I don't know weather I would find someone in the future or not.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

[Lyubov]

Herpes is the most benign thing ever. You got to chill. Like 90% of people don't even know they have it and like 90% of all people have some kind of herpes. No one tests for it for a reason. It's basically harmless.

[Salvijus]

Dying alone is not that bad.

[Schizophonia]

59 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Dying alone is not that bad.

If you are sexually/romantically shy, you can ask someone here to pick up with you; to do an energy, "persona" transfer.

 

[Spiral]

My ex told me a year into our relationship that she had it. Don’t think I caught it tho.

[How to be wise]

@Mada_ Are you a man or woman?

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, How to be wise said:

@Mada_ Are you a man or woman?

I'm guessing male because "end up alone as an incel", suggests that, and also "i wear protection most of the time".