How to make friends in a new city?

[Spiral Wizard]

I’m in a new city. How to make new friends?

So far I got these ideas:

- go out to popular/busy places and start talking to people, like parks, nightlife, college campuses, etc.

- search for events of all kinds (spiritual, outdoor, creative, etc.) on Facebook, meet up app, Eventbrite.

Do you know any other meet up apps? Any other locations? Any specific events to search for? Any other places to meet people? Any other tips?

[samijiben]

Why you want meet people make friends?

What you looking for?

[Spiral]

When I moved to Stockholm, I downloaded Jodel and meetup. I meet a lot of people, however the nature of these meetups, didn’t lead anywhere meaningful.

You go out to meet people, grab a beer. Maybe exchange contact information, meet up a week later with that person for yet another beer. Eventually the “friendsship” fades.

You need to meet the same people regularly to really establish a friendship. Unless you’re super charming I suppose.

You can be very friendly(but brief) at the gym or something like that also.

Edited August 15 by Spiral

[theleelajoker]

Just be patient I guess. Wouldn't do anything else than what you do already. Similar interests are a good basis.

I often meet friends in new places though other friends. So they came to visit, knew other people and connected me with them. You know someone that knows someone in Stockholm?

[Elliott]

Volunteering, including parks, events, museums.

Sports or hobbies, yoga,.....

[Vali2003]

It‘s important not to be too choosy with who you consider a good fit as your friend in the beginning.

Go do stuff you enjoy anyways, chat people up there, get their contact information and meet up with them, even if you think they‘re a bit weird. For example, just chat up the person that was next to you in the yoga class afterwards and get their contact info. It’s not super important that you think they’re amazing or god-realized or anything. 

Next step is to meet with them regularly. That means at least once a week, but it’s better if you meet more often. This is, of course, easier if you have something to do together, like study, do sports, or something like that.

You‘ll probably grow to like them, or you won‘t, but you will definitiely get to know other people you do like through them. They’ll probably introduce you to their friends. Also, you‘ll get invited to other social events where it‘s much easier now, and less awkward to meet people. Now you can maybe start being more selective about who you want to be friends with. But maybe, as you’ve spent so much time with your first friend, you’ve grown to like them. 

The most crucial point is not to be too picky at first. As soon as you get into ANY social circle, it gets easy to make friends. But first, you need some way to get in. That problem is solved by not being too picky.
 

 

[something_else]

The best thing by far for me has been to move into a built-to-rent apartment. Most big cities have these.

They usually have a co-working space, gym and organise social events. I've gone from having no friends to a solid friend group of like 15 people in around 2 months just by living here. It's insane.

They're usually quite pricey, but for me it's been very worth it.

Aside from this, all of the usual stuff like hobby groups and gigs etc. are good ideas.

[Kid A]

19 hours ago, Elliott said:

Volunteering

This is what I'm doing every day this week. I've decided to show up at least once every single week for a year. It's been pretty amazing so far!

[Puer Aeternus]

I've done this in the past.

Find an area with heavy foot traffic. I chose a cozy walkway tucked just off of the main shopping district in my city.

Grab yourself some folding chairs, a sign large enough to be readable to foot traffic (and some way to mount it), and optionally a fold out table. 

On said sign, put some interesting question prompt, new to the city and need friends! , or I usually went with an open ended what's on your mind? 

Sit back. Profit. 

Not only is it a great way to sample all of what humans have to offer, but generally those who sit down skew towards the more interesting side of things. 

It's a great way to skip the small talk. You can do it any day of the week (assuming the location you choose is busy enough). Easy to ask for contact info and arrange more meetups- similarly as easy just to let the no matches walk away with no guilt and never talk to them again. 

I think one of the biggest benefits is the conversationalist is choosing YOU! You're not doing some crapshoot cold approach or pulling up to a meetup with no idea how interested people will actually be.

Caveat to say I've done this only in America, so plenty of obviously people are extroverted or willing to put themselves out there. Not sure if this would be as successful in a more introverted, insular country country. 

Edited August 16 by Puer Aeternus

[BlessedLion]

I’m currently dealing with this too. It’s tough. Just gotta put yourself out there and surrender to connections happening/things flowing 

 

I think what @something_else said is really true. There is this group Cohabs that does co living and it’s like the best in to have an immediate crew but you risk living with ppl who aren’t a fit 

[UnbornTao]

@BlessedLion

[Sincerity]

See this: 

[theleelajoker]

On 16.8.2025 at 3:50 PM, Puer Aeternus said:

I've done this in the past.

Find an area with heavy foot traffic. I chose a cozy walkway tucked just off of the main shopping district in my city.

Grab yourself some folding chairs, a sign large enough to be readable to foot traffic (and some way to mount it), and optionally a fold out table. 

On said sign, put some interesting question prompt, new to the city and need friends! , or I usually went with an open ended what's on your mind? 

Sit back. Profit. 

Not only is it a great way to sample all of what humans have to offer, but generally those who sit down skew towards the more interesting side of things. 

It's a great way to skip the small talk. You can do it any day of the week (assuming the location you choose is busy enough). Easy to ask for contact info and arrange more meetups- similarly as easy just to let the no matches walk away with no guilt and never talk to them again. 

I think one of the biggest benefits is the conversationalist is choosing YOU! You're not doing some crapshoot cold approach or pulling up to a meetup with no idea how interested people will actually be.

Caveat to say I've done this only in America, so plenty of obviously people are extroverted or willing to put themselves out there. Not sure if this would be as successful in a more introverted, insular country country. 

Amazing, absolutely love the idea! 

 

[Spiral Wizard]

On 8/16/2025 at 6:50 AM, Puer Aeternus said:

I've done this in the past.

Find an area with heavy foot traffic. I chose a cozy walkway tucked just off of the main shopping district in my city.

Grab yourself some folding chairs, a sign large enough to be readable to foot traffic (and some way to mount it), and optionally a fold out table. 

On said sign, put some interesting question prompt, new to the city and need friends! , or I usually went with an open ended what's on your mind? 

Sit back. Profit. 

Not only is it a great way to sample all of what humans have to offer, but generally those who sit down skew towards the more interesting side of things. 

It's a great way to skip the small talk. You can do it any day of the week (assuming the location you choose is busy enough). Easy to ask for contact info and arrange more meetups- similarly as easy just to let the no matches walk away with no guilt and never talk to them again. 

I think one of the biggest benefits is the conversationalist is choosing YOU! You're not doing some crapshoot cold approach or pulling up to a meetup with no idea how interested people will actually be.

Caveat to say I've done this only in America, so plenty of obviously people are extroverted or willing to put themselves out there. Not sure if this would be as successful in a more introverted, insular country country. 

Amazing! I only saw this in youtube videos as a gimmick but never considered it as a genuine method to make friends. Love it though. Takes some courage but I might do it! 

[Puer Aeternus]

Yess! It's definitely more than just a gimmick 😆 and people won't see it that way because not like you'll be recording it.

You should totally do it! It'll definitely take some courage at first. But nothing really bad has come from it for me? I mean some people will completely ignore you or glance at you and walk past. But it's really not bad at all! 

Just try to look friendly- don't be phased if it takes a bit between people stopping to talk. It can vary a lot, but if I'm out there it's usually not more than 20 minutes before someone comes up- usually it's quite a bit faster though! 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru4EX40al2A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REiKHCZpU6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7ghrUIiyzM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsFHvXk4w4E

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-make-friends-master-key-new-friendships

Edited August 19 by Raze