Women have wildly different interests than men

[aurum]

12 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This would be a balanced, accurate generalisation imo

Difficult to actually address the topic. I feel a 'general truth' is a way to assert a fixed essence or pattern to something inherently varied - almost an oxymoron: we are trying to squeeze infinite diversity into a tidy box and slap truth on it.

So I think this balanced generalisation hits harder.

Boxslappers.org forum 

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

It isn't that woman are conditioned to go for lower paying careers. It's that the careers that women naturally gravitate towards are devalued and underpaid because Femininity is culturally viewed as inferior to Masculinity.

It's viewed as inferior because femininity generally offers less survival value than masculinity in the workplace.

That's the beauty, innocence, and naivety of it.

It's also why women can feel like they have to squelch their femininity to compete at work.

[Vali2003]

@Natasha Tori Maru @Joshe

Glad it resonated 

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

It's viewed as inferior because femininity generally offers less survival value than masculinity in the workplace.

That's the beauty, innocence, and naivety of it.

It's also why women can feel like they have to squelch their femininity to compete at work.

I can't think of very many careers that offer more survival value than childcare and nursing.

[Schizophonia]

On 10/08/2025 at 6:49 PM, theleelajoker said:

OK I am not familiar with these terminologies, and even after some research I am still not sure. Will give it a try with paraphrasing to see if I get it: 

1. You want X --> you take action --> all good, a least you do what you can. 

2. You want X --> Instead of action -->  accepting not doing anything --> you feel your emotions of not having / not going for X as in 1. 

3. You want X --> Instead of action --> rumination, victimization --> you transfer your discomfort to sth outside, sth symbolic --> not feeling your emotions, at least you have something on the outside to give responsibility to

---> you do 3. because when you say it's on the outside, then its beyond your control. 

Scenarios 1 and 2 amount to the same thing: it's about feeling the emotion of failure, of lack (castration).
If you want to do something with your life, to move in a direction, you must automatically contemplate and digest the difference between your current self and your ideal self.

If you don't want to feel it, then you end up living life through defense mechanisms that protect you from it; this is neurosis.
To feel powerful and function in the sense of pleasure, you will regress to an archaic libidinal functioning called "anal sadism," (or oral, for hysterical people typically) where the phallus (not literally, not just lol, but the usual signifiers like a beautiful woman, a big car, sports activities, etc.) is substituted by "excrement."

What you call victimization and rumination in general is a false "scatophile" phallus. It's frustrating, but it protects you from castration anxiety (being humiliated, hurt, etc.); unconsciously, that's what it's all about.

On 10/08/2025 at 6:49 PM, theleelajoker said:

So far so good. Can you give a short definition of your understanding of "taking phallic position" and "castration anxiety"?  

The phallic position is the position used to fight castration.

Men are generally more "phalic" than women; that is, when a castration scenario presents itself (lack of money, lack of sex, drama, boredom, etc.), men will normally directly seek to suppress castration anxiety, passively (through acceptance) or actively (making a plan, being proactive).
Whereas women will remain passive and endure the anxiety, or preferentially transfer it onto a man.
In cases of poor Oedipus complex development, trauma, etc., a man may also chronically fail to adopt the phallic position, which will generally lead to passive and feminine behaviors and even fetishes in general (due to the weakness of phallic dynamics and regressive mechanisms).

Castration anxiety is the fear of losing power.
The phallus, as Lacan would describe it, is the ultimate signifier hidden behind the various objects of desire.
Someone who doesn't have the phallus is someone who doesn't have money and/or a woman and/or a PlayStation 4, etc.; what we consider the phallus to be is individual; it is the frustration that signals castration anxiety.

 

[Schizophonia]

On 10/08/2025 at 6:59 PM, Xonas Pitfall said:

@Schizophonia This sounds so interesting! Do you know why?

1. Are you essentially saying that the weaker or smaller you feel, the more you want feminine girls (girls who are also weaker, smaller, cuter, passive, and innocent)?

Yes, exactly.

Probably because when I (my ego) become small, "castrated" (of certain signifiers), well paradoxically I am dispossessed of castration anxiety, so there is no more "void" to fill.
I am once again "full of myself," even if it is anger/bad feelings.

Quote

1. What does "being empty" mean here?

It's a good question.

I would say that feeling empty is a sign that you don't want to seek the phallus, and probably what's behind this (unconsciously) is exaggerated castration anxiety.
And if your brain functions in a way that manages strong castration anxiety, even if it isn't felt because of defense mechanisms (hence the feeling of "emptiness"; I'm bored because I don't want to do things that make me happy, I don't make myself happy because in the end I'll be useless, I'll be humiliated, blah blah blah), well this will induce more feminine behavior, even fantasies.
Either you believe you have the phallus and will automatically, systematically take the dominant position; or you believe you are not phallic and you will tend to more or less project the phallus, instead of identifying with it.
Here we're talking about sex, but it's at all levels.

Quote

I like your reflectiveness and honesty.

Thanks my mouse.

Give a piece of Comté.

Edited Thursday at 03:06 PM by Schizophonia

[Joshe]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Either you believe you have the phallus and will automatically, systematically take the dominant position; or you believe you are not phallic and you will tend to more or less project the phallus, instead of identifying with it.

This seems legit. 

Edited Thursday at 06:38 PM by Joshe

[theleelajoker]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Scenarios 1 and 2 amount to the same thing: it's about feeling the emotion of failure, of lack (castration).
If you want to do something with your life, to move in a direction, you must automatically contemplate and digest the difference between your current self and your ideal self.

If you don't want to feel it, then you end up living life through defense mechanisms that protect you from it; this is neurosis.
To feel powerful and function in the sense of pleasure, you will regress to an archaic libidinal functioning called "anal sadism," (or oral, for hysterical people typically) where the phallus (not literally, not just lol, but the usual signifiers like a beautiful woman, a big car, sports activities, etc.) is substituted by "excrement."

What you call victimization and rumination in general is a false "scatophile" phallus. It's frustrating, but it protects you from castration anxiety (being humiliated, hurt, etc.); unconsciously, that's what it's all about.

The phallic position is the position used to fight castration.

Men are generally more "phalic" than women; that is, when a castration scenario presents itself (lack of money, lack of sex, drama, boredom, etc.), men will normally directly seek to suppress castration anxiety, passively (through acceptance) or actively (making a plan, being proactive).
Whereas women will remain passive and endure the anxiety, or preferentially transfer it onto a man.
In cases of poor Oedipus complex development, trauma, etc., a man may also chronically fail to adopt the phallic position, which will generally lead to passive and feminine behaviors and even fetishes in general (due to the weakness of phallic dynamics and regressive mechanisms).

Castration anxiety is the fear of losing power.
The phallus, as Lacan would describe it, is the ultimate signifier hidden behind the various objects of desire.
Someone who doesn't have the phallus is someone who doesn't have money and/or a woman and/or a PlayStation 4, etc.; what we consider the phallus to be is individual; it is the frustration that signals castration anxiety.

 

Thx man, appreciate it. 

Please correct if wrong: Thinking about it, and leaving all this phallic & castration terms aside, it comes down to:

1. Go for what you want (your desires) and either achieve it
2. Or accept that you want it, but don't have it now / can't achieve it now and feel the difference between ideal/actual self
3. Or change your desire (if possible)
4. No.3 is dangerous because of defense mechanisms; you might tell yourself you don't want it, but actually you want it without feeling difference ideal/actual self
5. Object of desire is individual (for some it's car, money, freedom, social impact etc etc)

My personal experience does not really fit this:

Quote

Men are generally more "phalic" than women; that is, when a castration scenario presents itself (lack of money, lack of sex, drama, boredom, etc.), men will normally directly seek to suppress castration anxiety, passively (through acceptance) or actively (making a plan, being proactive).
Whereas women will remain passive and endure the anxiety, or preferentially transfer it onto a man.

Men suppress in my experience just differently. They might go actively for the outside object, but they neglect their inner state. Or they are equally anxious, they are just not in touch with them enough to notice.  The materially most successful men I know are deeply unaware of their inner states and extremely disconnected from their body. Same time, I have seen women that are very active, although I have seen the anxiety as well oc. 

As so often, it's IME much more personality type then gender. 

Edited Thursday at 05:08 PM by theleelajoker

[aurum]

13 hours ago, Emerald said:

I can't think of very many careers that offer more survival value than childcare and nursing.