OBEler

Women have wildly different interests than men

120 posts in this topic

@Princess Arabia I never ever want women to be men. Not even the things which can be annoying. They should stay in their nature as they are because of balance and attraction and so on.

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Just now, OBEler said:

@Princess Arabia I never ever want women to be men. Not even the things which can be annoying. They should stay in their nature as they are because of balance and attraction and so on.

OK. I guess you're just pointing out certain differences you see. I guess it just seems like criticisms instead of pointing out and showing what femininity can look like at times in it's different forms of expressions. 


What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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@Princess Arabia Yeah that is missing im this thread for sure. I made the differences about one certain aspect, the interests women have on topics outside their personal space. I saw that most women really don't care about these. Some men for sure also. I don't want to start a gender war here just make some generalizations. Maybe if some women make a thread about generalizations of men, that  would be interesting to see. 

 

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2 hours ago, OBEler said:

They are dramatic but not drama.  Do we scream in a high pitch voice about that and throw things out of the window just to let everyone know about our feelings?

Yes. My direct experience from construction sites. Men do this also. 


Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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11 hours ago, OBEler said:

Forums are an invention of men. Women don't like these because it's about looking for truth and they don't care about these idealistic things. Women are mostly pragmatic and their thoughts are about personal stuff and feelings rather than about abstract things.

It’s better to generalize by personality type rather than only allowing yourself two categories. 

Most men I know do not engage with forums. But you know who does? INTPs. INTP males make up the majority of Reddit and forum users. There are women INTPs out there who would be forum warriors if it weren’t considered weird. Culture kinda forces them into roles they otherwise wouldn’t assume. I know a16 year old INTP girl who doesn’t do INTP stuff only because she’s trying not to be weird. 

Also, most men I know do not enjoy conversing on deep topics, so it’s not just “men”. It’s more so personality type. 

There doesn’t seem to be much utility in these overly broad generalizations about men and women. 

Edited by Joshe

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@Joshe interesting perspective. I agree on that. Also the behavior on not looking weird because of society pressure could not show the true interests of women on the Internet. And that forum users and podcast audiences are mostly intps, there is definitely a truth in that.

Edited by OBEler

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I think human dimorphism boils down to the huge cost of human reproduction selecting for a division between reproductive and survival responsibilities. In other species, the role of the male is often more or less to just be the strongest genes available through fierce competition and territorial control, like tigers, lions, bears, gorillas, etc. Humans are intrinsically a social species. Such division between reproductive and survival responsibilities has worked for millions of years and is expressed in our genes.

Women are generally much more dependent on social resources due to the vulnerability inherent to reproduction and size difference. Abstract thinking is generally a matter of finding solutions to material survival and doesn't mesh well with socializing, so you see less women gravitate towards it. 

Human dimorphism is quiet obvious to see, but there seems to be this belief circulating that tries to erase gender differences. Like it is all just cultural. I think it as a reaction against historical patriarchy or something. Not sure. At least against the vulnerability inherent to womanhood, I believe, but at that point your engaging in magical thinking. Like, it is obvious that men are bigger. It's a fact. 

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2 hours ago, OBEler said:

. Maybe if some women make a thread about generalizations of men, that  would be interesting to see. 

Are you nuts. Us women here are too smart for that., hehe. We observe, then we act accordingly. We don't compete with men, we adjust. That's the win win. We don't see men as problems, we figure out the solutions. Not that what you say doesn't happen elsewhere and maybe the same women here wouldn't do that elsewhere, but we're smart enough not to do that on a male dominated forum. We save that for amongst ourselves. 


What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus

Galatians 3:28

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3 hours ago, OBEler said:

Maybe if some women make a thread about generalizations of men, that  would be interesting to see. 

@OBEler Here you go! 

 

Edited by Xonas Pitfall

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@Princess Arabia so women keep their insights and tactics about men in secret and won't share that in a male dominated forum so that men have no chance to exploit that?

 

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@OBEler Woman! So, that should hopefully fully fulfill the request above!:) 


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50 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Princess Arabia so women keep their insights and tactics about men in secret and won't share that in a male dominated forum so that men have no chance to exploit that?

 

It's not a tactic, it's not in secret and we aren't afraid of being exploited in this way. You've totally interpreted what I've said in your own way. I'm saying I don't think the few women on here will go up against a male-dominated forum to start topics about what we don't like about men simply because we're not angry at men enough to do that and smart women don't go up against men in that way.  It's not like we're pm-ing each other in secret about what we don't like about men and we're definitely not worried about the men on here exploiting us for our opinions about men. (this is just my opinion from what I've observed about the active women on here and not a fact, just an intelligent guess and could be wrong; so bear that in mind)

You have to realize I'm referring to a certain category of women, more on the intelligent side, also more feminine and less confrontational. I can be confrontational, but it's usually to stand up for myself after being personally attacked or when I'm being misunderstood and that's a personality issue not a gender issue. Women of a certain breed won't find too many general things to dislike about men but only in their personal relationships. If a man does something to her personally. She'll vent on that most likely and not draw every man into the equation. 

I'm not saying there aren't general things these types of women don't like about men, but it's not worth starting topics about on a male-dominated forum just to get rebutted and bring out defense mechanisms when it's nothing personal for her. 

Do you agree @Natasha Tori Maru @Emerald @Sugarcoat @Judy2. Just to get a feel of what I'm saying is a shared opinion and not just speaking for myself. I could be wrong. This is just my take.

Edited by Princess Arabia

What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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35 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

@OBEler Woman! So, that should hopefully fully fulfill the request above!:) 

That's a surprise. A very left-brained woman, imo. Very logical. Am I right. Just an opinion from my observations on your types of posts. 


What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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My mom is very open and curious and can talk with me about intellectual as well as spiritual things, be it medicine, brain science, meditation, and just random shit my mind throws out. She is also very feminine, very caring, loving, cares about people. My mom's husband, is extremely masculine; he gets shit done, he says things as they are, he is immensely forward-driving; but he has seemingly zero interest for the things I mentioned above. He literally said one time (a bit lowkey) when we were talking about random stuff at dinner, "what use does this have?".

What you're referring to is openness to experience. I've never heard openness being described as a mostly male trait. To the contrary.


Intrinsic joy = being x meaning ²

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28 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

What you're referring to is openness to experience.

Need for Cognition is an important one as well. Men do seem to generally have higher NFC. Just look at male-female chess player ratios, but I think the gap is narrowing a lot in recent years. But think about. Most guys aren’t even interested in chess. You need a high NFC for that. Low-NFC men exist in large numbers.

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Edited by Joshe

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@Princess Arabia Agree.

Basically - we pick our battles.

I'm not about to start raking sand here, I will devote my energy to something that I deem worthy. If I think I can bring an opinion or view others haven't considered I for sure will. And I won't hold back. Most especially as I know there are less responders and many, many more readers (users and anon) who browse these forums. Sometimes I do engage in a battle if I think it is educational for the person - but if you watch closely I tap out when I realise they are limited in intellectual scope. And I don't put others in boxes either - because I might have a conversation with that person in a month and they have had some great growth and realisation.

Also - I don't find any use in misappropriating behaviour to gender. It has never served me. Really, what is it achieving? What is it actually achieving to say 'Oh that's just what men do'. Frames and generalisations are useful but limiting. They aren't going to help you understand all women. It's a case by case basis. As it should be. As God ordained so it could experience an infinite variety of conscious configurations to harvest experience.

If you are really unbiased most of the time its just people peopling as people like to do :P

I do think the women of this forum are a different breed. 

It's rare to find women (people!) who want to be ripped apart and reconfigured continually to try to understand reality in its glorious fullness. 

The women here have made me respect other WOMEN more as a female. As I used to be quite denigrating to my own gender.

 

Edited by Natasha Tori Maru

Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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3 hours ago, Joshe said:

Need for Cognition is an important one as well. Men do seem to generally have higher NFC. Just look at male-female chess player ratios, but I think the gap is narrowing a lot in recent years. But think about. Most guys aren’t even interested in chess. You need a high NFC for that. 

How OP described women (some of it), is how I would describe "normie women". But you also have normie men: they mostly talk about sports, their job, taxes, videogames, movies, things like that. Even there, we could say the men have a slightly higher "NFC", as they're mostly talking about "stuff" (and how stuff works, which is more abstract) rather than relationships (and usually their own, which is more concrete). But the stuff they're talking about is not very "high openness" stuff. And you can very quickly make talking about relationships a highly cognitive endeavor.

Edited by Carl-Richard

Intrinsic joy = being x meaning ²

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28 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Its a case by case bases.

This is the key right here. Of course, there are general traits men and women have specifically as in men are more logical, more competitive, etc and women more sensitive and emotional oriented etc, but I've seen both have similar traits all around and just depends on the person and probably more depends on up-bringing, experiences, worlds views and mindsets, even culture and nationality based. I've seen men whine and bitch and start drama and women as cool as a church mouse with no worries in the world. We tend to be more personal about our biases and experienced oriented. The only commonality I hear most women categorize most men as are cheaters and liars and it's usually based on their own experiences and will usually only vent and carry on about it if it's a discussion already taking place, not start a random discussion about it.

Edited by Princess Arabia

What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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