Why I'm Leaving America (for good)

[WonderSeeker]

For the past 6 years I've been ruthlessly applying Actualized-style personal development.

I've done basically everything Leo talks about and pushed each area pretty hard.

After all this time I've realized that geography plays a FUCKING MASSIVE role in how well the teachings work, at least for me. By geography, I mean everything from the country you live in, to the culture, the food, the people, the politics ... everything.

This has lead me to an important insight: I need to start honoring my genetics and my preferences a lot more seriously. And also take the fucking hints when I reflect back on my life. Because honestly, I think America is possibly one of the worst non 3rd world country places for me on the planet. Not that I have much experience living elsewhere (I've only been to Canada and Mongolia for about 1 month each). But my intuitive-feeling capacities tell me so (and they're pretty sharp when they detect serious signal).

I realized that living in America has been one of the biggest bottlenecks holding me back in life. As an INFP and an HSP, I am naturally extremely sensitive to my external environment and the people in it. I've tried for years to modify my behaviors using classical self-help, only to be disappointed over and over again. No, actually, pissed the fuck off.

But not in an uncontrollable way. Just in a 'this is a rational response to a system that's not working for me' kind of way. Here's what I mean... 

This part isn't an America problem, but a climate problem: I currently live in a desert. As an HSP, the 110F heat fries my nervous system daily, impairing my brain function and forcing me to sleep-in every day. (Recently I took several sick days and lost my job recently because of it). The dust, loud car noises, and pollution all fuck with my senses as well. The basic internal message is "This place is chaotic", "I cannot think straight", "I am not safe here". After 3 years of this I am leaving for a smaller city with forests nearby. Now let's talk about America's problems...

1) Student debt. I aced college (and left with 40k in student debt). I've tried for years to go purely for the money to pay it down, but I hate corporate America and can't stomach staying in it for long. I have such a sour taste in my mouth that going to college, taking it seriously, and developing myself meant being a financial cripple. That's already an issue for me. Also, credit cards, car salesmen types, etc (I tried sales myself and found it to be monstrously unconscious and disgusting).

 2) Relationships. Socially, people here are shallow, slimy, and fronting big time. Generally they're not nice and disingenuous. I know dating and socializing works for some here, but I am not a fan of game and clubbing no matter how hard I hit it and tried to enjoy it (I've done Miami and Scottsdale for example, and even the 'successes' were incredibly shallow). It's fake, overstimulating, and full of shit. And the status games are immature and pointless. Don't really need to say more, these things are self-evident.

3) Commercialism overload. Too many ads, advertising, commercials, billboards, and cut-throat tactics all in the name of money. We are so commercialized, people are getting reduced to data points and we treat each other like products instead of people. We don't value natural stuff or health, just profits by any means necessary.

4) Cutting back on EPA regulations. This one is personal because of my sensitivities, but really it affect everyone. Even people with the thickest shells are gonna be more prone to serious disease and illness. I need not say more.

5) The amount of news and politics getting shoved in your face 24/7. Sounds crazy, but in other parts of the world politics isn't a boiling pot of water. Gee, wouldn't it be nice?

6) Mass stupidity and idiocy.

There's more, but this is a good starter list.

- - - - -

In 2 months I'm moving to South Korea to teach English to kindergarteners. It's not my ultimate life purpose but I'm proud of the decision. Plus I'm excited to be somewhere where it will be easier to live happily and make space for another run at deep personal development.

Here's why I'm choosing Korea:

1) Cost of living. It's cheaper just about everywhere in east Asia. 3 years ago I got a $6 haircut and paid $15 for dinner in Mongolia (and it was all high quality too). In Korea people are generally healthier and live slightly longer than in the U.S.

2) Relationships and social life. Maybe this is preferential, but being on the more sensitive side, east Asian people are my jam. When I was in Mongolia I had some wild dates and met my first 'dream woman' there. It gave me a taste of the benefits of social cohesion and how the women there are literally the best. It's hard to date in America once you've done it there.

3) Less political nonsense. I prefer less unnecessary chaos. I'll let the U.S. bask in its own misery while I live where there's less bullshit. A little bullshit is ok (and normal), but not what the U.S. has.

4) Education and teachers are not only compensated, but MASSIVELY respected and admired. I've spoken to many teachers in the U.S. and it really breaks my heart the challenges they face. The situation is massively fucked up whether you're in a rural area or in a city. I would never teach here in 100 years.

5) Spirituality. Lots of Buddhism to go around all around Asia. In Mongolia it was a lot of Tibetan Buddhism. Not that I'm into the religious part of it. But being in a culture with a healthier form of religion (compare to the Christian nutcases in America) is important for me. Plus in certain parts of Asia they allow you to take time off to become a monk for part of the year where you do basically nothing but meditate and take care of the temple. I recently met a guy who did something like that at Mount Hiei in Japan. Another one in Nepal. It just makes so much sense with this Actualized work.

6) Better food (depending on where you are of course).

7) Asian people are more laid back, value real connection (although some of the metros can be more superficial due to fusion with expats). But in general this is true. The less western mind-virus, the better. The one girl I was seeing in Mongolia 3 years ago used to go to meditation retreats and she was so present, calm, and receptive. I was like holy shit, I've been alive for 24 years and didn't know what I was missing... not a superficial fling, but something real. YES, they do exist.

- - - - -

That's basically it. Ask me anything, I'm tired.

[Rafael Thundercat]

Great Review, I wish you a great time in your new Life Style

[Daniel Balan]

Was nice reading that. I wish you good luck!

 

[Hojo]

South Korea needs you to repopulate. Become the Suth Korean Ghengis Khan.

Edited 16 hours ago by Hojo

[Puer Aeternus]

Honestly mate. You've made a lot of valid points!

I could consider myself an "INFP" and "HSP" as well. I've definitely wanted to escape America in the past. I've done a decent bit of research in the past. 

Unless your career paths aligns with a country's in-demand skills, you have remote work/online business, or are planning to marry someone. Immigrating for permanent residency most places is going to be a pain in the ass and require STEEP sacrifices. 

Maybe you have one of these things! Then it's much easier. Just need to line things up.

It's a classic saying. But everywhere really does have problems, there's not really a "great" country who's got it's shit together. It's all just subjective preferences but all places will have something that makes you go wtf.

I think what you're doing is great! You're going to teach English or something else? You can move around many places in SEA teaching.. Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, even Japan doing so! So it may be nice to get a feel. Although actually getting permanent residency in many of these asian countries can be.. complicated.

But it gives the vibe like you're still relatively ignorant of many ugly sides of these cultures. Try to catch the classic American thing of demonizing your own culture and pedistalizing foreign countries. They're fucked too you just haven't experienced it.

Especially Korea I mean I'm not trying to do spoilers for you! You're going to go, experience it, and figure out if it's a deal breaker or not. But Korea has some GNARLY SHIT. Both politically and culturally. 

Alternatively, you can always do that thing and move to a blue state and/or progressive city. PNW, Midwest cities or Minnesota, New England! All are better and negate some of your issues. 

But ultimately, I think I'll be staying here for the medium term at least. I think it can be insightful too, to integrate your opposites. To accept the shitty aspects of this place and be able to roll with the punches. 

But maybe that's not the direction you need to take things in right now! I think it'll be fun and useful for you to explore and it'll end up pointing the direction of your life. Good luck man! Wish you the best with it all.

[WonderSeeker]

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

South Korea needs you to repopulate. Become the Suth Korean Ghengis Khan.

Yeah nobody wants to have babies there... wild isn't it?

SK Chinnghis Khaan to the rescue! Time to raise an army 

[WonderSeeker]

48 minutes ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Honestly mate. You've made a lot of valid points!

I could consider myself an "INFP" and "HSP" as well. I've definitely wanted to escape America in the past. I've done a decent bit of research in the past. 

Unless your career paths aligns with a country's in-demand skills, you have remote work/online business, or are planning to marry someone. Immigrating for permanent residency most places is going to be a pain in the ass and require STEEP sacrifices. 

Maybe you have one of these things! Then it's much easier. Just need to line things up.

It's a classic saying. But everywhere really does have problems, there's not really a "great" country who's got it's shit together. It's all just subjective preferences but all places will have something that makes you go wtf.

I think what you're doing is great! You're going to teach English or something else? You can move around many places in SEA teaching.. Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, even Japan doing so! So it may be nice to get a feel. Although actually getting permanent residency in many of these asian countries can be.. complicated.

But it gives the vibe like you're still relatively ignorant of many ugly sides of these cultures. Try to catch the classic American thing of demonizing your own culture and pedistalizing foreign countries. They're fucked too you just haven't experienced it.

Especially Korea I mean I'm not trying to do spoilers for you! You're going to go, experience it, and figure out if it's a deal breaker or not. But Korea has some GNARLY SHIT. Both politically and culturally. 

Alternatively, you can always do that thing and move to a blue state and/or progressive city. PNW, Midwest cities or Minnesota, New England! All are better and negate some of your issues. 

But ultimately, I think I'll be staying here for the medium term at least. I think it can be insightful too, to integrate your opposites. To accept the shitty aspects of this place and be able to roll with the punches. 

But maybe that's not the direction you need to take things in right now! I think it'll be fun and useful for you to explore and it'll end up pointing the direction of your life. Good luck man! Wish you the best with it all.

Yes, teaching English. Most places requires a bachelors to do it. SEA actually doesn't pay great when it comes to teaching (not that I'm a money whore, my student loan every month are just high AF).

Oh and trust me I know there's ugly sides to these cultures. In Mongolia they have godawful pollution problems (they throw trash into pits, burn it, and let the ashes blow around for example). Not to mention the corruption (usually related to China, shocker).

I used to live in a progressive town in New England. Always been curious about PNW and Colorado. But the part of me that wants to leave is too strong. My intuition is like YES! THIS IS THE WAY! I don't see things getting better here so I'm gonna go where I'm treated best.

Cheers ~ ~ ~ 

 

[Sincerity]

Sounds like you're very clear about what you want and don't. Moreover, I think it's cool that you're taking responsibility for yourself and deciding to move when your environment doesn't suit you.

Good work!  Keep it up. 

[Miguel1]

Did you consider Scandinavia?

A ton of nature, and society is generally geared towards green.

[Schizophonia]

South Korea is basically one of the worst country on earth according to your own criteria.

Super capitalist, super superficial culture (world capital of cosmetic surgery), very little "spirituality" compared to other Asian countries or even Europe, super racist, horrible politics with almost the majority of ex-presidents who ended up in prison and a recent attempt to install martial law, demographics in free fall so much that people work and are individualistic anyway, non-existent gastronomy (kimchi/bibimpap/soupwithnoodlesrandomvegetablesandgochujangpaste loop).

Edited 12 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Puer Aeternus]

2 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

I used to live in a progressive town in New England. Always been curious about PNW and Colorado. But the part of me that wants to leave is too strong. My intuition is like YES! THIS IS THE WAY! I don't see things getting better here so I'm gonna go where I'm treated best.

Fair enough man! 🫡 Shoot on that intuition! It defo won't be getting better here, that's pretty much for damn sure. Not like you'll be losing citizenship if nothing immediately works out anyways. 

I actually really want to go to Mongolia as well, so cool you got to visit! 

Edited 11 hours ago by Puer Aeternus

[Basman]

I applaud you for making a decision for yourself. Even if it doesn't work out like you hoped, you'll have a lot of stories to tell and you'll have lived a little. Best of luck.

Also, that Mongolian chick sounded like wife material, no?

[WonderSeeker]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

Also, that Mongolian chick sounded like wife material, no?

She was great. I hit her up every now and then on IG, but for the most part she's outta my orbit. She's in Paris so I'm not too attached... but if we both end up in Mongolia again someday.... watch the fuck out!

1 hour ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Fair enough man! 🫡 Shoot on that intuition! It defo won't be getting better here, that's pretty much for damn sure. Not like you'll be losing citizenship if nothing immediately works out anyways. 

I actually really want to go to Mongolia as well, so cool you got to visit! 

Read about my trip here: https://x.com/jaypidgescribes/status/1922260576975388965

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

South Korea is basically one of the worst country on earth according to your own criteria.

Super capitalist, super superficial culture (world capital of cosmetic surgery), very little "spirituality" compared to other Asian countries or even Europe, super racist, horrible politics with almost the majority of ex-presidents who ended up in prison and a recent attempt to install martial law, demographics in free fall so much that people work and are individualistic anyway, non-existent gastronomy (kimchi/bibimpap/soupwithnoodlesrandomvegetablesandgochujangpaste loop).

Well you're mostly referring to Seoul and Busan. I'm going to live in a more mid-sized city... Gwangju ideally. But there's also Suwon, Daeju, and others.

If you're curious how I came to this decision I fed ChatGPT all of my top preferences and filtered for the best cities in SK. The mid-sized ones have stellar nature access and Gwangju in particular is a college city on the more "progressive" side

But hey, either way I'll let you know how it goes

4 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Did you consider Scandinavia?

A ton of nature, and society is generally geared towards green.

Used to dream about it. But when it comes to the nuts and bolts of what I want most, I veer toward SEA countries. 

If I start thinking about it logically that takes me away from intuition

What's most important to me right now is starting a deep relationship, and Asians and Latinas are pure gold when it comes to that

[hyruga]

Just don't be like this person

 

https://nypost.com/2025/07/22/world-news/american-who-joined-russian-army-to-escape-woke-us-has-been-sent-to-the-frontlines-wife-says/

[samijiben]

You are sure to find many a surprise and serendipitous anomalies and ecstatic pleasures and crazy, wild experiences that break your paradigm of reality wherever you go, especially if it is a new country, a foreign culture, a new routine no matter how organized or unorganized it is. This is going to be an educational and developmental journey for you, and it is sure to endure the throes of life that you are all too familiar and apparently fed up with as well, albeit with different content, characters, and more!

BUT THE IDEA that you will find "IT" (what you are REALLY LOOKING FOR..)

This is a fantasy. This is not true. Be honest that you want a better life for yourself, a change of pace and scenery, a new excuse or garment to add to your identity, your notion of being a person, your desire to fulfill that lack of attention, validation, and approval from other people. This may work. "To Each Xis Own!"

But, again, I remind you that moving places and changing scenery is nothing more than a gamble in the interest of facilitating the Same Sudden Shift that will have to occur wherever you Find Yourself Now if YOU are to FINALLY "GET IT!"

 

[WonderSeeker]

29 minutes ago, samijiben said:

You are sure to find many a surprise and serendipitous anomalies and ecstatic pleasures and crazy, wild experiences that break your paradigm of reality wherever you go, especially if it is a new country, a foreign culture, a new routine no matter how organized or unorganized it is. This is going to be an educational and developmental journey for you, and it is sure to endure the throes of life that you are all too familiar and apparently fed up with as well, albeit with different content, characters, and more!

BUT THE IDEA that you will find "IT" (what you are REALLY LOOKING FOR..)

This is a fantasy. This is not true. Be honest that you want a better life for yourself, a change of pace and scenery, a new excuse or garment to add to your identity, your notion of being a person, your desire to fulfill that lack of attention, validation, and approval from other people. This may work. "To Each Xis Own!"

But, again, I remind you that moving places and changing scenery is nothing more than a gamble in the interest of facilitating the Same Sudden Shift that will have to occur wherever you Find Yourself Now if YOU are to FINALLY "GET IT!"

Duh. There's more to life than enlightenment you know  

Edited 3 hours ago by WonderSeeker

[Miguel1]

7 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

Used to dream about it. But when it comes to the nuts and bolts of what I want most, I veer toward SEA countries. 

There’s nothing but nature and sea all around Helsinki and Stockholm.

I am in absolutely love here. And the metropolitan sizes are also not massive. There are 4 seasons here but the winters are rough if you don’t like snow and cold.

But you know what’s best for you brother.

[Leo Gura]

Korea is a corrupt capitalist dystopia. The more you learn about it the uglier it gets.

Koreans are laid back? Ha!

Have you seen their school system? It looks like a factory farm and a pressure-cooker in one.

If you want laid back happie vibes you should try island life.

Edited 10 minutes ago by Leo Gura

[AION]

You never know how good you have it until you experienced the lack there of.  If you are hell bent on it you should fuck around and find out. Same with Japan. It looks all cute and funny until you get caught up in their soul crushing system ending up with a deadpan stare looking into the abyss. I couldn’t live somewhere else than the west because regardless of everything wrong there is still some human decency like various human and workers rights, free time, privacy, freedom of speech, security, equality etc. Even in the top notch countries like Japan and Korea, you get treated different as an outsider. There is more to it than getting a cute haircut and a fancy meal. Living there is another experience. 

Edited 16 minutes ago by AION