She wants kids - I don't. Give up SEX and companionship?

[Emerald]

39 minutes ago, joeyi99 said:

@Emerald You are delusional and trying to uphold some politically correct take.

It's a statistical fact majority of suicides are from men and a lot of it due to feelings of inadequacy and lack of sexual relationships. 

I just said that the sense that sex and relationships are truly scarce is an illusion that more has to do with a particular man's mindsets about the situation. That's why some men don't struggle, while others do. It's about the head game.

I fail to see how that's a politically correct take. Do you know what politically correct means?

[Magnanimous]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

High value.

This includes all the features women find important.

@Leo Gura Could I still be considered exceptional if I was short (I'm short) but had everything else?

[AION]

7 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Unfortunately, it is a good case study for integrity. He stuffed himself up internally very badly. At the time I think he viewed what he was doing as 'acing it' as you phrase. But he walked away with extensive issues.

After he went through the above I dated him for 2 years. He was quite committed during this time & honest about it. But he wanted to go to therapy with me a year in - which I wasn't interested in. I didn't realise it at the time, but he was more committed and invested than me. I viewed him within the frame of previous history as a bit of a womaniser. This actually prevented me from engaging more deeply with him. I do regret this deeply, as I recognise I was holding his history against him instead of seeing the man before me. Truly, as he was.

I bounced after the therapy conversation.

He's a fireman now, married with a kid to a beautiful woman. 

Life goes strange ways

A guy wanting to go to therapy and you dropping him for it? You really dropped the ball by letting him go. But it is typical for a woman to do that when a man shows weakness / vulnerability. Although women claim otherwise, men shouldn’t show vulnerability to a woman. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I didn't leave him because he showed vulnerability.

I left him because he wasn't able to see the issues he thought were between us - requiring couples therapy - were only stemming from him. He was blaming me for issues I had nothing to do with. Which, after he healed, he fully acknowledged.

I left because I realized I was the block to his healing. In retrospect we were incompatible.

Again, have some awareness regarding what you are saying - misappropriating behavior to gender. 

Man/woman in your statement can be flipped and it still be 100% valid.

 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Magnanimous said:

@Leo Gura Could I still be considered exceptional if I was short (I'm short) but had everything else?

Sure, if you have lots of value elsewhere.

See Tom Cruiz

Edited July 25 by Leo Gura

[AION]

@Natasha Tori Maru you literally told me you left after he asked you to go to couple therapy. You can go and read it back. If he only saw you as the problem he wouldn’t do that. People who blame others don’t go to therapy. 

Edited July 25 by AION

[Magnanimous]

@Leo Gura Is there any point in worrying about increasing my attractiveness above attracting my dream girl?

I'm super competitive about being attractive because I'm very good looking and charismatic, but should I stop worrying about it as soon as I'm quality enough for my dream girl? Other people will definitely outdo me.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, AION said:

 People who blame others don’t go to therapy. 

Incorrect.

[AION]

17 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Incorrect.

I wasn’t there so let’s leave it at that 😭

Edited July 25 by AION

[RawJudah]

I’m in exactly the same boat. I’m living in a small town in the UK and I really want to go all out with dating, but moving to London would mean me paying £2000 a month for a room in a house share. I’m still tempted to actually do it because in a small town where everyone knows everyone it’s not good for dating. I know I need to nail this part of my life because if I don’t I will regret it. It’s just the cost of it is ridiculous…

[RawJudah]

And also I honestly think it’s a bit weird to move to an expensive city purely to date. It’s like you need something else to focus on - with dating on the side. That being said, I’ve got to the point now where I probably would move to London purely to date? Just to get it out of my system.

[Davino]

@Lucasxp64 There are yellow lines and red lines in a relationship.

For example, a yellow line for me is getting married. I don't want but, maybe I'm open to it given the right circumstances, but it's unlikely.

A red line for me is having kids. 

A yellow line may be crossed with great difficulty or be the end of the relationship. A red line cannot be crossed and is the end of the relationship.

You gotta ask yourself from all the things you said what are a yellow line and what are red lines. From this framework then negotiate what it would take for you to cross that yellow line and state very clearly your readlines so that nobody loses time and life, it's unfair to commit to an incompatible future.

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, RawJudah said:

And also I honestly think it’s a bit weird to move to an expensive city purely to date. It’s like you need something else to focus on - with dating on the side. That being said, I’ve got to the point now where I probably would move to London purely to date? Just to get it out of my system.

I don't see the problem love is a particularly pertinent goal.

Edited July 25 by Schizophonia

[Lucasxp64]

On 24/07/2025 at 0:55 AM, Emerald said:

But because you haven't had that desire yet, you're stuck in these logistical thoughts around the attractiveness of the woman... and how to navigate situations you don't want to be in... and considering trade-offs. It's all too logical.

I did fall in love before many times, but it was out of scarcity.

I got more logical after I began seeing the realities out there, getting my disney love fantasy bubble burst.

I'm a very emotional. I'm a Satisficer, I know exactly what I want, I want daily sex and someone I can fall in love and not question it every week, it's painful otherwise.

A 7/10 (not sure others may call it a 6 perhaps. Very relative). A nice face (Almond shaped eyes, positive canthal tilt), regular breasts and ass and frame, but not too fat or extremely skinny. A nice feminine voice/demeanor (I listen a lot to ASMR).

I already get turned on for women like that, and I find them aesthetically pleasing to look at and marvel at their beauty.

Not looking exclusively for less demographically common phenotypes: Such blue eyes and blonde, huge breasts with small frame, artificially raised high profile breasts (bolt on tits), high cheekbones, dimples, huge hips and super thin waist, or long legs, etc.

[Lucasxp64]

On 24/07/2025 at 0:55 AM, Emerald said:

But the thing is, you don't even need to be romantically involved with a woman to know if you want a serious relationship with her. So, it's not like you have to be in a bunch of relationships with women at once to know.

It's just your scarcity-thinking that makes you consider all these "What if" scenarios.

I just don't have that. I think I can't emotionally let go of the contacts I have and the closeness we have, they all give nice energy. But at the same time, they are all long-distance.

At least two of them are girlfriend material to me. But the truth is, I know I won't and I shouldn't go met any of them, by the time I have the money for it, I'd be able to go out dating in my own city. That's what I got now.

It ended up being for emotional and sexual validation. And they love it too, I don't think that keeps them from talking with other dudes.

Only local women that liked me recently were obese, or trans women (no vagina), or too old.

 

[Lucasxp64]

On 24/07/2025 at 3:00 AM, Emerald said:

For example, is it like for every 100 girls you approach you get 5 phone numbers and 1 close? 

@Emerald

I have limited cold approach experience. I got a few numbers, but they led nowhere (married, ghosted, etc). I see it as practice.

Right now, in-person approach is too energetically tiring and I worry about proper framing. My hermit lifestyle caused an emotional blockage I need to rewire, even though I know how to build rapport. My strategy is to greet strangers first, then work up to attractive women. I need a lifestyle where I live hassle-free (logistically, pleasing environment to me) to a lot of women with good state, probably not just commuting.

Online game feels like prospecting clients; I lack the mental bandwidth and am done with it, it had its role in my life as my only social and romantic/sexual outlet. My close rate from app to WhatsApp is ~5% and drops steeply for high-SMV women, Out of 500 opens in that app (but requires enormous energy to keep up with all the conversations, highly distracting, high effort, energy vampire), I only got a couple of women I wanted highly interested on me (but they live all over my continentally-sized country. Think NYC to LA kind of distance).

But funny enough. With some women in LITERALLY WITHIN A COUPLE OF MINUTES of chatting we are already almost sexting. For some others, it doesn't matter how much effort I put, it's a lost case.

I'm concerned that SOCIAL GAME will not give me the abundance I crave. My it will give me some social life.

And I also prefer 1-to-1 interactions, I don't wanna put up too much with those dynamics. If social game happens for me, it will be because of some 1:1 friendship that I was pursuing. 

But right now I can't distract myself with that, and I don't have money not even for a bus ticket.

Some contacts were "catfishing" (Profile pic was too good, other photos reveals more).

Using my own enhanced photo skyrocketed my high quality interaction rates (for profile pic, but I show my real photos to then later).

But my results are probably beyond average. Most women told me the other dudes in that platform are all weird and boring. I spent dozens of hours optimizing my copywriting, A/B testing different conversation flows to keep their attention.

In person I don't have such optimized skills, but it's also my lack of having more opens so I'd get more women that would be a better match and have things flow smoothly.

I also have REVIEWS FROM OTHER WOMEN ON MY PROFILE SAYING NICE STUFF ABOUT ME.

My Instagram, on the other hand, is a barren land. When I close Instagram after they liked me in the app, they suspect of me being fake. One of them thought I was rich and probably fucked a lot of woman, and that my Instagram profile was a lie by being "low profile", even after saying I was broke and lonely (This was a lapse in my game, I should have shut the fuck up about that too early). She blocked my WhatsApp after I made a joke about wanting breast milk (Another lapse in game, because I didn't give a fuck, I have abundance for women living a fucking thousand mile away)

I suspect my in-person success would depend on energy and context.

Edited July 27 by Lucasxp64

[RendHeaven]

On 7/26/2025 at 10:30 AM, Lucasxp64 said:

Almond shaped eyes, positive canthal tilt

lol good luck. the competition is steep

[RendHeaven]

On 7/26/2025 at 11:00 AM, Lucasxp64 said:

Only local women that liked me recently were obese, or trans women (no vagina), or too old.

average male experience in 2025 which women don't understand

just try harder bro! put yourself out there more and be yourself!

[RendHeaven]

@Lucasxp64 Where do you live

[Schizophonia]

5 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

average male experience in 2025 which women don't understand

just try harder bro! put yourself out there more and be yourself!

No the harder you try, the less you get; It's like increasing speed on the treadmill, but it's still the same stupid treadmill.

It must come from love. When I'm in love, girls teleport into my Maya instantly, correlated with the intensity of my love.

If I create a Tinder account out of curiosity because I don't have any friends but I want to get off my balls (you know what I mean, a frequency that sucks like that), well, reality being a mirror, I'll end up with the reflection of my love which is to say nothing lol or bad quality women, no conversation or at least uninteresting conversations...

Even worse if you go to a stupid alternative app where people are there because they "know they're ugly" then it's over.

On the other hand, if the intention is better, I will have a lot of matches and pretty girls; once again, in a way that is surprisingly proportional to what I give off internally. I don't want to hear about Tinder, but I've already tried it several times out of curiosity.

Why not even transsexual girls like op lol; when you ruminate on actualized about the lack of abundance it is about refusing to take the phallic position which will therefore naturally be projected onto the other; that is to say refusing to feel pain (therefore by extension the self in general) by adopting a feminine position of active cope.(rumination is a kind of tacit cry for help that avoids confrontation with pain, Lacan would say it's about "turning around the bush of representation"). 

In fact, even being devastated/broken magnetizes girls, not the same kind of girls but still, because it's always a return to masculinity, to the phallus; passive coping, taking on the pain (in this case), taking on the self.

The worst thing is really the lack of integrity, usually out of fear of being abandoned (it's a long-term conditioning stemming from the Oedipus complex, trauma, etc.), like you think that if you come back to yourself and stop simpering people, you'll be abandoned and die.
But that's a big illusion; it's by abandoning yourself in a very selfish way that abundance will come, and by remaining passive, coping, you'll have nothing and become a sissy.

 

Edited July 28 by Schizophonia