Yeah Yeah

“How Do I Actually Wake Up From the Dream—Without Suicide? Solipsism & the Missing Ex

35 posts in this topic

Hey everyone,

This is a raw and honest post. I've been following Leo's work for a while, and particularly his deep dives on solipsism and awakening. I watched his deleted video where he talked about full awakening—realizing you're the only being that exists, and that everything else (people, AI, Leo himself) is just part of your dream.

He spoke as if waking up is truly possible, not just as a metaphor, but as a full-blown metaphysical rupture of the illusion. But what I’m struggling with is: How the fuck do I actually do it?

Because I don’t want to be here.
Not in this body.
Not in this story.
Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out.

I don’t want to die by suicide. Not because I’m scared of death—but because the methods are unreliable and I don’t want to botch it.
Worse—there’s fear around ending up in a hell realm or post-death limbo because of “karma” or “unfinished business” or because some mystical teacher says I didn’t awaken the right way.

I’m asking now:
If this is my dream—how do I truly wake up without killing the body?

Is it possible?
Can anyone explain what Leo meant when he said waking up is possible—as in literally waking up as God, outside of this dream entirely?

Or am I just stuck here until the dream naturally dissolves on its own?

And if that’s the case—should I just zombify myself on antidepressants, antipsychotics, valium, codeine, or just lean deeper into weed and alcohol until I rot out from the inside?

I’m not looking for sugarcoated replies. I want real answers.
If any of you have actually woken up—not conceptually, but fully—please respond.

Because I have the rage against life to take a gun and violently blow my brains out I fucking hate this world day in day out all day everyday for years since 2019. So please help me wake up so that I don't one day use the rope to risk botching it desperately and waking up with irreversible brain damage or I kill myself and then there is hell realms limbo no take back this is what you wanted wishing your life away and now it's fucking worse off and no familiar body to ground a now wandering lost limbo mirror cosmic reflecting state of my own death and that being a life of rage hatred depression venom fuck life suicide then that vibration at death no take back bite me in the ass is this what you wanted.

Thank you.

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The answer has been shared here a million times. Dedicate yourself to psychedelic ceremonies. Although you can Awaken from one ceremony, it most likely will take dozens or more to Awaken. It can take a hundred ceremonies to Awaken, and it can take a hundred Awakenings to understand Awakening. Take a heros dose of Mushrooms. Get a couple gms of 5-MEO. Experiment with doses, upping the amount every time. Push through the fear. Do ceremony every week, until an Awaking happens. If you say you don't have access to any of that, that is an excuse. Travel to get it. Do anything to make it happen. Be unstoppable in this goal, as if your life depends on it, cause it sounds like it does. Anything less than this dedication is you wanting to wallow in your misery. 

Edited by Sempiternity

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1 hour ago, Yeah Yeah said:

Because I don’t want to be here.
Not in this body.
Not in this story.
Not as this identity

You can't transcend what you fail to love. 


Freedom is love under all conditions. 

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So, I had a time when I felt similar to what you feel.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I experienced.

I went out, met some strangers, got very drunk with them, poured my heart out, expressed all the desperation. Went home, talked to another stranger, shared a joint with him, he said "if you kill yourself why you think it will get any better afterwards?". Made me think. And made me reconsider. 

I continued to express my desperation, talked to people. Then it faded away within few days. Had great, amazing experiences afterwards. Now I am as deeply engaged in life as I ever was. 

Conclusion for me? Whatever I resist, persists. Whatever I feel and express makes me free of it. Maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right.

Leo says a lot of stuff, but he doesn't seem happy. Would not put too much into what he says. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong. 

 

Edited by theleelajoker

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Greetings,

Thank you for the raw expression, it seems like you are digging down deep and want true answers.

Knowing life is a dream does not awaken you.

Knowing life is a dream is only the first step.

The second step is clearing out your consciousness of every thought, every belief, until your false identity dissolves, together with the dream, and you awaken back to Heaven - a realm of eternal Love and Light. 

I'd suggest studying A Course in Miracles if you haven't yet - it's a step beyond any other teaching available. 

Good luck!  

Edited by CoolDreamThanks

³Atonement might be equated with total escape from the past and total lack of interest in the future. ⁴Heaven is here. ⁵There is nowhere else. ⁶Heaven is now. ⁷There is no other time. ⁸No teaching that does not lead to this is of concern to God’s teachers. (ACIM, M-24.6:1-8)

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Let go of your attachments — don't hurt yourself, just let go of yourself.

 

Quote

Because I don’t want to be here.

Let go of not wanting to be here.

 

Quote

Not in this body.

Let go of not wanting to be in this body. 

 

Quote

Not in this story.

Let go of not wanting to be in this story.

 

Quote

Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out.

Let go of not wanting to be this identity — sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void. Let go of being that identity.

 

In general, whatever thought that arises in your mind, tell yourself "whatever happens, I will be ok". Once your identity, your "oughts", die down, you will see your identity as that which existed before you were born and which will exist after death.

But the odds are that once you experience this, you will want to not go all the way and instead pursue those things that you're repressing in the world. You want sex, you want connection, you want things. But it does not hurt to go there. In fact, it might be the only way, other than getting help the other ways you mentioned.

 

 

 


Intrinsic joy = being x meaning ²

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It seems to me you want more than just a standard awakening. Based on your suicidal post it seems you really just want to exit the body and experience your unlimited self. There is a guy who teaches how to exit the body through a controlled near death state. I'll give you the link so you can check it out. His teaching is behind a pay wall I should warn but it seems right up your alley. 

https://dariusjwright.com/my-mission/


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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7 hours ago, Yeah Yeah said:

Hey everyone,

This is a raw and honest post. I've been following Leo's work for a while, and particularly his deep dives on solipsism and awakening. I watched his deleted video where he talked about full awakening—realizing you're the only being that exists, and that everything else (people, AI, Leo himself) is just part of your dream.

He spoke as if waking up is truly possible, not just as a metaphor, but as a full-blown metaphysical rupture of the illusion. But what I’m struggling with is: How the fuck do I actually do it?

Because I don’t want to be here.
Not in this body.
Not in this story.
Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out.

I don’t want to die by suicide. Not because I’m scared of death—but because the methods are unreliable and I don’t want to botch it.
Worse—there’s fear around ending up in a hell realm or post-death limbo because of “karma” or “unfinished business” or because some mystical teacher says I didn’t awaken the right way.

I’m asking now:
If this is my dream—how do I truly wake up without killing the body?

Is it possible?
Can anyone explain what Leo meant when he said waking up is possible—as in literally waking up as God, outside of this dream entirely?

Or am I just stuck here until the dream naturally dissolves on its own?

And if that’s the case—should I just zombify myself on antidepressants, antipsychotics, valium, codeine, or just lean deeper into weed and alcohol until I rot out from the inside?

I’m not looking for sugarcoated replies. I want real answers.
If any of you have actually woken up—not conceptually, but fully—please respond.

Because I have the rage against life to take a gun and violently blow my brains out I fucking hate this world day in day out all day everyday for years since 2019. So please help me wake up so that I don't one day use the rope to risk botching it desperately and waking up with irreversible brain damage or I kill myself and then there is hell realms limbo no take back this is what you wanted wishing your life away and now it's fucking worse off and no familiar body to ground a now wandering lost limbo mirror cosmic reflecting state of my own death and that being a life of rage hatred depression venom fuck life suicide then that vibration at death no take back bite me in the ass is this what you wanted.

Thank you.

Even suicide wont get you enlightenment.   You need suffering and Love brother.  Stay here we need you.  But if you want awakening just get some psychedelics and/or suffer your ass off for decades and lose a loved one or better the love of your life..  It'll come.  With time. 

Edited by Inliytened1

 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

It seems to me you want more than just a standard awakening. Based on your suicidal post it seems you really just want to exit the body and experience your unlimited self. There is a guy who teaches how to exit the body through a controlled near death state. I'll give you the link so you can check it out. His teaching is behind a pay wall I should warn but it seems right up your alley. 

https://dariusjwright.com/my-mission/

Have you done it using his method?

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You are the dream. No one wakes up. That's what we call death. 


What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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2 hours ago, Vibes said:

Have you done it using his method?

Not yet, but I plan to eventually. You have to enter sleep paralysis, and that is not natural to me. When I sleep, I usually go to deep sleep, I don't usually dream. So its going to be something that will take time. 

I researched him and he's legit. There are people who started making videos talking about their experience. Things like reuniting with past loved ones who passed away, accessing past lives, and being in your God State and creating from that level.


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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@Yeah Yeah I wouldn't believe histories like solipsism, If you want to break through the ego barrier, you can, but you have to be completely independent and have an unbreakable will to do so. Your situation seems difficult, so you don't have any other options. But if you don't have absolute self-confidence, it's not easy. Anyway Just start.

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6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are the dream. No one wakes up. That's what we call death. 

That's not true, the absolute reality awakes through you. 

If you look closely, you'll see that there's an existence happening. All of that is something, isn't it? It's reality manifesting itself.

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4 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Not yet, but I plan to eventually. You have to enter sleep paralysis, and that is not natural to me. When I sleep, I usually go to deep sleep, I don't usually dream. So its going to be something that will take time. 

I researched him and he's legit. There are people who started making videos talking about their experience. Things like reuniting with past loved ones who passed away, accessing past lives, and being in your God State and creating from that level.

I've been in sleep paralysis many times it's not awakening.  Although it's a different state of consciousness.   Awakening is more akin to depersonalization but with a lime 🍋 


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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36 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

I've been in sleep paralysis many times it's not awakening.  Although it's a different state of consciousness.   Awakening is more akin to depersonalization but with a lime 🍋 

You aren't understanding with practice in sleep paralysis you can shut your body down and exit it entirely. Your body will be safe but its the same as a Near Death Experience. Also many people get OBE's mixed up with Astral Travel, this is not the same thing. This is the same thing as shooting yourself in the head,.....with no damage to the body.

This is one of Darius J. Wright's students explaining what he learned.

 

 

 

Edited by Razard86

You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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2 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

You aren't understanding with practice in sleep paralysis you can shut your body down and exit it entirely.

 

 

 

Easier said then done.  Does he have in depth steps to what to do when you wake up in sleep paralysis? Because the first thing you are going to want to do is to try and break out of the state.  It's a terrible state for the ego.  So if you can truly exit the body in this state you would first have to ask the question what is it that exits? Does the ego exit ot does Pure Awareness exit? (GOD).  Does he address this?


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

That's not true, the absolute reality awakes through you. 

If you look closely, you'll see that there's an existence happening. All of that is something, isn't it? It's reality manifesting itself.

Yes and if I look closely I can see a rainbow in the sky that isn't really there. The absolute reality? What's that? "Awakens through me"? How does it even do that when time and space isn't real. "Manifesting itself"? Wtf does that even mean. The Absolute is all there is including time and space for what's needed for manifestation and a happening to take place. Manifesting itself implies continuity and that only happens when an observer is present but that's illusory since there's no separation and nothing can be really observed. The dream is that you think there's a you that the absolute is manifesting through. No you, no dream and no you to wake up.


What you know leaves what you don't know and what you don't know is all there is. 

 

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42 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes and if I look closely I can see a rainbow in the sky that isn't really there

Then why it's there?

 

43 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Manifesting itself implies continuity and that only happens when an observer is present but that's illusory since there's no separation and nothing can be really observed.

Then why there is an illusion?

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