Anyone else relate to sub par or just having failures as parents?

[Revolutionary Think]

 

[Hojo]

I like the quote.' You think after 30 40 50 years they would have picked up some wisdom.'

[Ulax]

@Revolutionary Think  Yep can definitely relate.

Growing up I had my protests towards  my parents dysfunctional behaviour constantly shamed and dismissed. And I carried a lot of shame and confusion. Then in 2019 I came across ifs therapy and entered the world of therapy. And learnt about alternatives ways of relating to parts of myself and others.

I’ll acknowledge that I am still struggling with the challenges of such an upbringing. However, therapy resources have brought me a lot more clarity and validation around my parents poor parenting. 

Edited July 19 by Ulax

[Tristan12]

On 2025-07-19 at 9:39 AM, Ulax said:

Growing up I had my protests towards  my parents dysfunctional behaviour constantly shamed and dismissed.

This pains me to read. I know exactly what it’s like dealing with people like that and it drives me crazy.

[enchanted]

My parents were low key toxic AF, no positive reinforcement, no kind words, no pats on the shoulder, no usuable advice, no deep talks about important things, plenty of scapegoating the kids, blaming the kids for all family problems never themselves, cheap as fuck. 

We were financially very stable but parents had their heads up the Catholic priests ass so far they had no mind for the family. 

[Carl-Richard]

I can see how some of my parents decisions moved me in a certain way that could've made more life either more easy or difficult. But whichever way, I'm privileged to say that these things were also in their own way a gift.

Edited July 21 by Carl-Richard

[Twentyfirst]

Unless you have been proven to do a better job yourself why criticize others? If your parents didn't teach you what to do then they must have taught you what not to do. Which is good

[enchanted]

On 17/07/2025 at 6:35 PM, Revolutionary Think said:

 

I agree with this video but what happens I think is that parents get tired and save energy where they can. It takes alot of effort to teach people. 

[ZenSwift]

> Anyone else relate to sub par or just having failures as parents?

 

Yes. This is my Father. It hurts. It sucks. He has had everything given to him his whole life. And so he has never really had that pressure on him to become a man. 

 

So I ended up growing up without knowing what being a man is like. I grew up to become one of those "fatherless children". 

Edited Thursday at 06:38 AM by ZenSwift

[Hayato]

Your parents gave you your greatest gift - Life.

 

You could appreciate that and ignore whatever shortcomings they might have.

 

One of the keys to being successful in life is honoring your parents.

[Revolutionary Think]

On 7/24/2025 at 1:01 AM, Hayato said:

Your parents gave you your greatest gift - Life.

 

The anti-natalists would profoundly disagree with that. 

[Carl-Richard]

16 minutes ago, Revolutionary Think said:

The anti-natalists would profoundly disagree with that. 

Anti-natalism is like trying to build a sandcastle between the crashing waves on the beach. You're battling against the laws of nature.

[Revolutionary Think]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

You're battling against the laws of nature.

Still plenty of childless people out there 

[Carl-Richard]

7 hours ago, Revolutionary Think said:

Still plenty of childless people out there 

And people who commit self-deletion.

[enchanted]

2 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

And people who commit self-deletion.

On 21/07/2025 at 6:34 PM, hyruga said:

 

That's a good point anti-natalist by definition are selecting themselves out of the gene pool. But sometimes ideas are contagious, like viruses, and the idea gets reproduced in a population without relying on sex. 

Declining birth rates are proof that people are having less and less kids on principle.

[Carl-Richard]

2 minutes ago, enchanted said:

That's a good point anti-natalist by definition are selecting themselves out of the gene pool. But sometimes ideas are contagious, like viruses, and the idea gets reproduced in a population without relying on sex. 

Declining birth rates are proof that people are having less and less kids on principle.

God will keep spawning forms irrespective of some neurotic human finding some limited conceptual perversion palatable.

[Jirh]

On 7/18/2025 at 2:27 AM, Hojo said:

I like the quote.' You think after 30 40 50 years they would have picked up some wisdom.'

In my case, they keep losing wisdom as they age 

[Aaron p]

Our parents didn't have the internet so they're more limited than us. More blatant recognitions of generational failures points to a steeper increase in us. It's kinda like when Leo said about how the more you experience cringe when looking back on your past self the better...it shows major progress. I guess