Anyone else relate to sub par or just having failures as parents?

[Revolutionary Think]

 

[Hojo]

I like the quote.' You think after 30 40 50 years they would have picked up some wisdom.'

[Ulax]

@Revolutionary Think  Yep can definitely relate.

Growing up I had my protests towards  my parents dysfunctional behaviour constantly shamed and dismissed. And I carried a lot of shame and confusion. Then in 2019 I came across ifs therapy and entered the world of therapy. And learnt about alternatives ways of relating to parts of myself and others.

I’ll acknowledge that I am still struggling with the challenges of such an upbringing. However, therapy resources have brought me a lot more clarity and validation around my parents poor parenting. 

Edited Saturday at 01:40 PM by Ulax

[Tristan12]

On 2025-07-19 at 9:39 AM, Ulax said:

Growing up I had my protests towards  my parents dysfunctional behaviour constantly shamed and dismissed.

This pains me to read. I know exactly what it’s like dealing with people like that and it drives me crazy.

[enchanted]

My parents were low key toxic AF, no positive reinforcement, no kind words, no pats on the shoulder, no usuable advice, no deep talks about important things, plenty of scapegoating the kids, blaming the kids for all family problems never themselves, cheap as fuck. 

We were financially very stable but parents had their heads up the Catholic priests ass so far they had no mind for the family. 

[Carl-Richard]

I can see how some of my parents decisions moved me in a certain way that could've made more life either more easy or difficult. But whichever way, I'm privileged to say that these things were also in their own way a gift.

Edited Monday at 11:16 PM by Carl-Richard

[Twentyfirst]

Unless you have been proven to do a better job yourself why criticize others? If your parents didn't teach you what to do then they must have taught you what not to do. Which is good

[enchanted]

On 17/07/2025 at 6:35 PM, Revolutionary Think said:

 

I agree with this video but what happens I think is that parents get tired and save energy where they can. It takes alot of effort to teach people. 

[ZenSwift]

> Anyone else relate to sub par or just having failures as parents?

 

Yes. This is my Father. It hurts. It sucks. He has had everything given to him his whole life. And so he has never really had that pressure on him to become a man. 

 

So I ended up growing up without knowing what being a man is like. I grew up to become one of those "fatherless children". 

Edited 19 hours ago by ZenSwift

[Hayato]

Your parents gave you your greatest gift - Life.

 

You could appreciate that and ignore whatever shortcomings they might have.

 

One of the keys to being successful in life is honoring your parents.