What people think during sex?

[Javfly33]

As long I focus completely on the pleasure of the woman as like my penis is a “tool” for her pleasure, I can last infinite amount of time. Because it becomes mechanical, pure, clean. it becomes like doing push-ups. Purely physical and mechanical. 

However the moment I start to have “toxic thoughts”, (sexist), of dominating her or of “possessing her”, or of “fucking her like is my object”, etc… I tend to instantly or almost instantly cum.

This is interesting. Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

Edited June 24 by Javfly33

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

Or, maybe you've just not owned this part of yourself yet.

[Hojo]

Try to think nasty thoughts when she ride you and see if you instantly cum. Bet not. The act of physical domination is doing it.

Why is cumming a punishment?

Edited June 24 by Hojo

[Schizophonia]

What's exciting is using her as an object over which I have complete power; it doesn't have to be sadistic/mean, it can be as simple as taking her missionary against a wall, putting my hand in her hair, then "singing my tune," lol.
A woman can also be dominant, for example, an aggressive cowgirl; that can be good too.

 

Gosh i need a girlfriend.

Edited June 24 by Schizophonia

[samijiben]

@Schizophonia lol

[Schizophonia]

Just now, samijiben said:

@Schizophonia lol

👺

 

[Schizophonia]

18 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 

This is interesting. Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

Is it the opposite? You say when you treat sex like a performance, you don't enjoy it/you don't enjoy it badly.

Edited June 24 by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

18 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

However the moment I start to have “toxic thoughts”, (sexist), of dominating her or of “possessing her”, or of “fucking her like is my object”, etc… I tend to instantly or almost instantly cum.

Because it makes you more horny because it’s “forbidden” . I had the same tendency 

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Because it makes you more horny because it’s “forbidden” . I had the same tendency 

"Pussy torture" 💀

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

"Pussy torture" 💀

Everyone reading this I gotta clarify I did NOT like that 😂

[Schizophonia]

12 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Everyone reading this I gotta clarify I did NOT like that 😂

yea yea 💀

[Nemra]

20 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

However the moment I start to have “toxic thoughts”, (sexist), of dominating her or of “possessing her”, or of “fucking her like is my object”, etc… I tend to instantly or almost instantly cum.

This is interesting. Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

I think you have to love it deep down if it happens instantly, even if normally you get disgusted by it.

I would not like it if someone treated me like an object (like an enraptured meal), but my god, if I interpreted it sexually, it would be impossible to resist.

It is what it is.

Edited June 24 by Nemra

[Lise]

Haha you'll be amazed at how many women want to actually be lowkey traumatized during sex.

I mean, what even is sex? It is a very animalistic act, no? I don't know if I follow your "God rewards you" statement, as there is something deeply animalistic about a dominant man, and a submissive woman. And nowadays we don't have many outlets for this animal nature, so perhaps both genders seek to let this out during sex?

[integral]

1.e4

[UnbornTao]

"Did I leave the oven on?"

Edited June 25 by UnbornTao

[Deziree]

Definitely Oogabooga here... It's fine whatever thoughts you have lol. Play out your fantasies with your partner. That's what intimacy is all aboit. Hojo raised a good point. Why is cumming a punishment? 

You probably have some unresolved stuff going on that you consider certain thoughts as dark. You are just getting guilty pleasure. Bring that spark back into it. Have you been having sex a lot? 

It sounds like you've stumbled upon a powerful connection between your mindset during sex and your physical experience of it.

Is it "God" or Your Body's Wisdom?

You framed it as "God rewarding good behavior."  it's more about how your mindset directly influences your physiology. Your body is incredibly responsive to your thoughts and emotions. When your thoughts are aligned with a giving, connected, and respectful approach, your body responds with greater control and endurance. When your thoughts are driven by less positive, more egocentric impulses, your body reacts with a different, often less controlled, physical response.

This isn't necessarily a moral judgment from a higher power, but rather your own internal system providing feedback. It's demonstrating that a mindset of respect and focus on mutual pleasure creates an experience that is more satisfying and sustainable for you physically, while a mindset of dominance or objectification creates an experience that is less so.

It's a powerful lesson in how our internal world shapes our most intimate experiences. 

Deep topic indeed. I'll be looking more into this as I myself struggle a lot with dominance submission thoughts too. 

Edited June 25 by Deziree
Bolded

[Deziree]

You're probably looking for quicker ejaculations. Heightened sensitivity -=> heightened pleasure right. 

These thoughts can be highly stimulating, but in a way that rapidly builds tension rather than sustained, relaxed pleasure.The focus shifts back to you and your perceived power, creating a self-referential loop that can heighten sensitivity and lead to quicker ejaculation. You're no longer fully present with your partner but are instead engaging in an internal narrative that can be self-sabotaging to sustained pleasure. Look into what gives you pleasure but also see the downsides of it. You won't like it that much long term or you'll get too used to it. You're kinda building violent intimacy with her. Just do it moderately as long as your partner is comfortable playing out your fantasy with you. Don't judge it morally though, it's just sex and you should find yourself vulnerable doing it, not judging it as right or wrong. 

Edited June 25 by Deziree
Don't judge.

[theleelajoker]

On 6/24/2025 at 2:12 AM, Javfly33 said:

However the moment I start to have “toxic thoughts”, (sexist), of dominating her or of “possessing her”, or of “fucking her like is my object”, etc… I tend to instantly or almost instantly cum.

This is interesting. Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

I my personal (sex) experience, I can not remember one woman that did not like this dominant energy. They all liked the idea of being used, of the man being dominant,  sometimes calling me out to "use them" or to "fuck them like a ****" and so on. And I happily did, same as I like it when a woman rides me well and uses me for a while : ) 

A woman once told me "every woman likes controlled aggression". It's all a matter of degree. Sometimes I had to stop myself because I felt eg the girl wanted me to choke her harder but I felt resistance bc I feared it might hurt her. Slippery slope IMO.

With one ex-gf, at the beginning I refused to have hard submissive sex with her bc I had the impression that she experienced some (emotional or physical) violence. But she knew how to push my buttons and after a while I was so dominant and aggressive with her that I sometimes felt it was too much. For her it was never too much, she never complained, quite the opposite. Downside: I had the feeling she needs the aggression to feel herself and is not able to feel her body without these extreme. I tried - as best as I could - to experience with her the whole spectrum of sex from "gently making love"  to "I use you like a little ****" but it was very hard to open her up for the "gently making love" type of sex. Maybe I was not able to be gentle enough, maybe I needed the hard sex myself, who knows?

Today I think 1) it's part of our animal nature that's typically suppressed like @Lise said and 2)  I think it can too much and maybe points to some past experiences that keeps people from really feeling their body

Edited June 25 by theleelajoker

[integral]

27 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

but it was very hard to open her up for the "gently making love" type of sex

You can't make a girl who's still at stage 2 in sexual development to want anything else but to be fucked.

They think making love is fucking, and the only reason you were able to fuck her like that is because you love her.

They don't know anything else and of course the connection you actually have with her is shallow, and based on lust + unhealthy dependency that wears off. 

Edited June 25 by integral

[theleelajoker]

@integral

Stage 2 you refer to...? Freud? But that's more for kids so I don't know

Quote

They don't know anything else and of course the connection you actually have with her is shallow, and based on lust + unhealthy dependency that wears off. 

And how you get to this conclusion? Not saying that is not the case, simply interested in your reasoning.

I remember previous comments from you that were helpful in this area.