Are men or women the prize?

[AION]

Women get their value from nature and L’loreal. Men’s value is gained through blood, sweat and tears. We as kings should never forget our place and if you assume it they will treat you as is. 

 

[Tenebroso]

The most attractive men, high status men are the prize, they have the most power and leverage because they are so scarce. After that it is all women pretty much then the mass of average and below average men, living lives of quiet desperation.

[aurum]

Thinking of yourself as the prize as a man is kind of cringe.

You do need self-confidence though.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

How about, men and women are humans.

We are all valid. 

None should be reduces in value to some sort of 'prize'. 

The game of life isn't to win, it's to dance 

[aurum]

30 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

How about, men and women are humans.

We are all valid. 

None should be reduces in value to some sort of 'prize'. 

The game of life isn't to win, it's to dance 

That's very diplomatic and safe.

[LastThursday]

Like it or not, we do place value on some people more than others, either consciously or unconsciously. But I disagree that what all men or all women value is the same for each group. That's far too reductionist and simplistic and possibly insulting.

[Emerald]

Of course, on a human level, all people are on equal footing in terms of validity. 

So, this is not a value judgment comparing men and women.

But the type of pairing that works is either one that is totally equal (which is rare)... or is one that the man is very invested in the particular woman and sees her as the prize.

In a situation where the man is the prize, it leads to a desperate woman draining her energy trying to keep a complacent guy who likes her just enough to have sex with her and spend some low investment time with her.

That's what happens when the man is the prize.

But in the opposite situation where the woman is the prize, she can rest in the Feminine. And he will pursue her and invest in her.

And this creates a relationship where both the man and the woman are invested in each other... but the man slightly moreso.

So, if you want a woman to be desperate and obsessed with you while you don't reciprocate her feelings, find a woman who sees you as the prize.

If you want a committed relationship that is stable and can last a long time, only pursue women that you truly see as the prize.

Edited June 5 by Emerald

[Leo Gura]

35 minutes ago, Emerald said:

But in the opposite situation where the woman is the prize, she can rest in the Feminine. And he will pursue her and invest in her.

That's not how it works.

Women are repusled by men who chase them and sleep with guys who don't care about them.

Chasing a women proves to her than the guy is beneath her and that she can find better.

Woman wants what she can barely hold onto. Like a bird trying to swallow the biggest rat that can fit in its mouth hole until it chokes. Then bird blames the rat for nearly killing her. But bird refuses to swallow small rats. Bird looks for another rat she can barely swallow.

Edited June 5 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

How about, men and women are humans.

We are all valid. 

None should be reduces in value to some sort of 'prize'. 

The game of life isn't to win, it's to dance 

Yes, but we're dancing right now with whatever responses given to the question. The dance is the belief that one is the prize and the dance is the responses given. It's all a dance and we can play the game of whose the prize. No biggie.

[OBEler]

Women are the Price.They select. Men just think they select.

Men are in a bad position they don't have really the cards even if they are powerful and have good genes. Divorce happens almost always by women and men get punished. Hypergamy is always at play and a good looking woman can find an even more powerful man.A man can do that too but the difference is men do that more for fun and not for seriously quitting a relationship for finding someone better.

Edited June 5 by OBEler

[Tenebroso]

@Emerald The issue is that in 2025 women are not attracted to the men who would see them as a prize, despite claiming that is what they want. I think the problem is that women want the men they see as the prize to adore them back and be their Prince Charming but these men have so many options that they have no incentive to prioritize one woman over another.

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, OBEler said:

Men just think they select.

If you have that view it just means you are a low value man so it is true for you. But not for high value men.

[Daniel Balan]

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's not how it works.

Women are repusled by men who chase them and sleep with guys who don't care about them.

Chasing a women proves to her than the guy is beneath her and that she can find better.

Woman wants what she can barely hold onto. Like a bird trying to swallow the biggest rat that can fit in its mouth hole until it chokes. Then bird blames the rat for nearly killing her. But bird refuses to swallow small rats. Bird looks for another rat she can barely swallow.

When I thought like that I had no girlfriend in my life for years, but as soon as I started pursuing with genuine interest girls I liked, I had a girlfriend in no time! What I understood from my POV is that as soon as I dropped all the games of not showing interest, not caring etc and I started expressing my feelings for the woman I was in love, I got her! I feel so free since I dropped all this PUA mindset! I feel like I've been unchained! I talk and behave however I genuinely feel, regardless if it is "masculine" or not! The bottom line is that game is like a cage one puts in himself from preventing him of being genuine! Also my approach filters out all the women that are not on the same wavelength as you! If you have to play a role of this aloof and not too caring stoic guy it means that girl isn't someone a relationship could work in the long run! You know you found a good girl when you can behave with her 100% genuinely without any game!

Edited June 5 by Daniel Balan

[Daniel Balan]

But what I propose only works if you seek monogamy, if you are into pick up dissmiss all my advice! You are right from that agle!

[Leo Gura]

@Daniel Balan I don't propose playing games or acting hard to get.

But don't chase women.

[Daniel Balan]

@Leo Gura Sure! That is common sense! I would advice anyone to walk away at the first sign of rejection! If you made your move and the girl says a clear no, or that she has a bf, I think it would be gentlemanly to walk away! I have the belief that if you really have chemistry with someone things should sail smoothly! If you always have to force stuff to happen it is a clear sign that even if you manage to sleep with her, in the long run it is not worthed to walk on egg shells 

[Daniel Balan]

And regarding the title of this thread: The prize is you as an individual! Regardless if you are a man or woman! The real prize is to always prioritize your wellbeing and never make compromises for anyone! It is better to be single that to be with someone who you have great physical connection but that person makes you walk on egg shells! I would refuse to have a relationship even with the most beautiful woman if her behaviour would constanly make me feel like I am in a whirlpool! Peace of mind is the prize for me

[Raze]

I definitely think there is something to the idea the feminine is pursued and the masculine pursues.

However that can be taken as implying men and women are obligated to do those roles or it is the best most effective way.

It actually isn’t, the highest form of game is getting the girl to chase you. In a sense that puts the man in the feminine and the women in the masculine, but it’s also the most effective way to gain her interest and investment. 

Though for a woman a bunch of men pursuing her is the best way as she becomes a selector from among many options and can pick the best one. But paradoxically this makes her crave the man she chases all the more because men who pursue her implies they are lower value than her / the pursuit makes them needy because they invest so much, and she is drawn to higher status men and repelled by lower status men.

There is also a mechanism of the man pursuing itself as making the women more interested as his emotions of desire project onto her through emotional state transferences. A study found that straight women were physically aroused even by images of homosexual and animal sexuality, because the concept of sexuality being brought in their awareness at all seemed to automatically turn them on even if they weren’t interested in the subject. That and the whole love bombing thing kind of gives some credence to the idea of men pursuing being effective as well. 

Masculine and feminine are really like unstable dances within each person and between each relationship. 

Edited June 5 by Raze

[Twentyfirst]

If your woman is the prize rather than you, you are seriously underperforming as a man

[Princess Arabia]

These terms are being used loosely without understanding what they really mean in this context. No need to chase a woman down if she's obviously not interested. No need to chase women just to be chasing women to see who will run out of breath so you can catch up. No need to chase women just because you're a horny son of a gun that just wants to get laid by whomever. I mean we can go on about that.

However, when a man sees what he likes, what he wants and if it's appropriate, he needs to take the lead and initiate that initial encounter. He doesn't need to, I'm saying that's where leadership comes in. A man that knows how to lead will know when a woman desires to follow. He won't have to chase her down like a cat chases a mouse, but he'll take the appropriate steps to allow for her to respond to his advances and see from there how she responds back. Women know the cues to send out to a man she likes and is attracted to and it's up to the man to read through the lines. No need to chase.

As far as the prize goes, the woman is the prize to herself first then she's the prize for the man. Not every woman knows how to act like the prize and then the man, if he's feminine, will start to think he's the prize. The woman is the prize always but not every woman will know and understand this, and this may lead to an imbalanced relationship where she's competing for his love and affection and this is very disempowering for women. Prize, in this case, doesn't mean one is better than the other or above the other. If a man sees himself as valuable to a woman, then she becomes a prize to him and someone he can express his value upon. If he happens to win her over then he has won the prize and his value can now be expressed in a way where it's appreciated both ways. What good is value if it's not unleashed. 

Edited June 5 by Princess Arabia