Is this the evolution of polyamory? Aubrey Marcus podcast)

[Natasha Tori Maru]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Vylana is nearly 40. What is the power imbalance? She can leave any time. She just doesn't want to. So what are we supposed to do about that? Belittle and shame her online until she feels so bad she leaves?

I should clarify - the narrative I spoke of is more surrounding the younger bird. Not that I agree with it, just that it is part of the narrative most others zone in on with horse blinkers.

 

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course not the entire field. But the culture as a whole has little regard for truth and loves to engage in spiritual rationalizations of their survival behaviors.

Gotcha, passionate explication in the moment then. I am guilty of this also haha! 

Edited June 6 by Natasha Tori Maru
Goddamn it Leo with the ninja edit, can't address it all! C'est la vie

[Leo Gura]

Aubrey's ex shares her insights:

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Aubrey's ex shares her insights:

 

Interesting - I gather from her perspective she suspects Aubrey is a narcissist. I think we all deduced this somewhat

She also mentioned her boundaries being pushed. Narcissists will do this. I think this could be the pattern with his current wife. I've dated one narcissist, and they will test you and your perceptions of reality.

This is a good case study for the importance of knowing yourself - which consciousness work and deep insight really help us with. If you know who you are, what you want & what you need, it's very difficult to get caught up in relationships like this.

What a shame actualization isn't a priority in school, life & beyond.

The importance of The Work.

 

[Leo Gura]

Having considered all the evidence, I retract my original opinion and agree there is plenty of self-deception and corruption in what Aubrey is doing.

But the girls are also playing their part.

Edited June 7 by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Having considered all the evidence, I retract my original opinion and agree there is a lot of self-deception and corruption in what Aubrey is doing.

I think your initial perspective was very, very interesting, as it challenged what I thought. I can be quite arrogant in my deductions, so you forced me to consider the alternative.

I walked away so irritated initially, but the frame was good to learn through

[Recursoinominado]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Like, these two women get to fuck a handsome famous mega-millionaire. And none of that is their fault. They could have shacked up with a thousand other guys, but they just so happen to love the guy who is worth $50+ million and takes them on fun vacations around the globe. He's the evil one and they are just helpless innocent pawns who are being exploited and abused.

Yeah, that's a good point, lol. It's not like he is a deadbeat. The guy is good-looking, rich, charming, famous, and has a fun/luxurious lifestyle.

Of course, he knows that and totally takes advantage of his power position with sweet-talking and spiritual jargon, but the women involved have A LOT to gain from this relationship. 
 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yeah, that is good.

It is funny though how zero responsibilty is placed on the women.

That's like the most common negative trait among women in general, not taking responsibility. As in, avoiding any form of blame placed upon them. I think it's almost as natural of a trait as is aggression, violence and other toxic traits amongst men

[Jannes]

Whitney Miller (Aubreys Ex) is 36 years old. Damn how did they all age that well. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 hours ago, Jannes said:

Whitney Miller (Aubreys Ex) is 36 years old. Damn how did they all age that well. 

Fillers, Botox, chemical peels 

I mean I had trouble reading the bodylanguage & facial expressions of the trio in the initial podcast. The women have frozen faces. The work done on them is excellent. 

You can see it when their eye expressions are super wide and open - that's when unaltered humans typically are raising their eyebrows. 

But their eyebrows barely move.... 💀💀💀

It's like the sequence of human expression is broken when people are altered. 

No judgement here - they can insert prosthetic horns for all I care

[Jannes]

@Natasha Tori Maru Truth can be painful. 

[Leo Gura]

How bad can a 36 year old look?

[Jannes]

@Leo Gura I am in my mid twenties so I basically dont need to make sacrifices yet. I find women up to the age of 30 attractive if they are attractive with some exceptions above 30 if they are really attractive. I really hope that as I age I am able to adapt and find older women attractive as I feel quite a lot of pressure to get all the sex while I am still young. 

[LordFall]

I haven't watched the full podcast yet, will do and update my thought as I find polyamory hugely fascinating and want to try it myself.

I do notice some tension with the women(like their kinda hate each other) from the start so that's an interesting dynamic. It's perhaps not necessarily fully a toxic thing but can't be fully good. 

Read most of this threads and wanted to respond to general themes from the objections you guys had.

Why is pushing boundaries(specifically in an open and consensual way) a bad/toxic thing? Most things in life push boundaries. My boundaries building my business and life are constantly pushed and almost violated from my perspective. My natural and safe state is smoking weed and watching anime/youtube all day, is that what I should strive towards?

Usually transparency, openness and inquiry are features of truth and authenticity not so much corruption. The fact that he posted a 3 hour podcast and hired a relationship doctor to help them navigate through this shows a willingness to expose himself and build something. If a multimillionaire wanted to have a relationship with multiple women and didn't give a fuck about ethics there are plenty of third world countries where you can do that without scrutiny. 

I do see this as an evolution of relationships. Freedom to experiment and do whatever you want in a relational sense was and is still not accepted by the mainstream society(for a lot of good reasons too but some of it is control through shame/straight up violence.) There's a push of the pendulum towards conservatism right now but I don't think it'll last especially after AI really takes off and we reach post scarcity. People will start dating AIs and also use VR to have all kinds of adventures; sexual or otherwise. 

Humanity is still in the dark ages of relationships and we are not too far off from still being stuck in having sex in the missionary position with the lights off. How can that possibly be the truth since sex and relationships are a lot of what our life desires are based on and most people in the world are not free to explore that as they wish? 

 

Edited June 7 by LordFall

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

How bad can a 36 year old look?

*Shows picture of myself*  

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Jannes said:

@Leo Gura I am in my mid twenties so I basically dont need to make sacrifices yet. I find women up to the age of 30 attractive if they are attractive with some exceptions above 30 if they are really attractive. I really hope that as I age I am able to adapt and find older women attractive as I feel quite a lot of pressure to get all the sex while I am still young. 

I'm sure your tastes will change and evolve as you age. 

It would be quite uncommon for a man in his mid-twenties to be attracted to a much older woman. Even most women don't find much older men attractive.

So, it's normal that you don't find many women over the age of 30 attractive.

As you age, you may still be attracted to younger women. But your upper range will probably continue to be a few years older than you, if it's already that now.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 hours ago, LordFall said:

Why is pushing boundaries(specifically in an open and consensual way) a bad/toxic thing? Most things in life push boundaries. My boundaries building my business and life are constantly pushed and almost violated from my perspective. My natural and safe state is smoking weed and watching anime/youtube all day, is that what I should strive towards?

I think the misunderstanding here lies in understanding of what a personal boundary is, and the function is serves.

I think what you touch on in the above is a challenge, as opposed to a boundary. 

TBH most people don't understand the difference, and I continually meet others in personal and professional environments who cannot differentiate. It is quite nuanced.

Boundaries protect your core self (protects emotional, physical, emotional wellbeing, maintain autonomy/self-respect & clarify what is acceptable and what's not). Personal boundaries are the limits and rules you would set for yourself within relationships, behaviors & environments. What you are comfortable with & your expectations of others treatment of you.

Challenges stretch your capacity to grow, and function as a tool to discover your boundaries. Think promoting personal development, stretch limits in a healthy way. Challenges also build confidence, competence & insight. They push you out of your comfort zone, testing skills, ideas, beliefs and resilience in pursuit of growth/achievement or deeper understanding.

Boundaries would be the hard walls of your house - plaster, studs, frame, roof - you don't fuck with this part of the house. A challenge would be opening a window to let cold air in - you might not like the environmental change, but it lets you breathe, expand, grow. But you can close the window.

They absolutely overlap. EG:

• Someone wants help during your rest time: Boundary - 'I can help tomorrow, but I need to rest this evening'. Challenge - Saying no despite guilt & fear of disappointing.
• Giving a speech: Boundary - 'I'm good with public speaking, but no filming'. Challenge - Confronting stage fright
• Big job offer: Boundary - 'I need fair pay & good hours'. Challenge - Taking on responsibility feels intimidating

When its balanced and boundaries aren't being steamrolled, you will feel empowered, but not exploited. Uncomfortable, but not unsafe. Challenged, but not coerced.

Someone pushing or trying to erase boundaries will feel like it disrespects autonomy & causes resentment. Destabilizes the relationship, confuses accountability & undermines self worth. Your boundaries define you & what you will tolerate. "Your needs don't matter as much as mine." is what is communicated when boundaries are disrespected.

Setting boundaries, when done right, will strengthen connection.

This is why it is so important to do the work of actualization. To know thyself. Insight, growth, experience.

Challenges reveal boundaries. 

This is why it is on the individual to assert them.

Just sad so many people don't know themselves.

Edited June 8 by Natasha Tori Maru
Damn sorry for the long post - but I figured someone else reading might learn from this, so I added lost of details. RIP attention span

[Miguel1]

On 30/05/2025 at 11:48 PM, Leo Gura said:

Vylana

No worries, as I mature myself, I find older & older women more attractive as well.

I’ve also bumped into some surprisingly good looking women in their early 40s

[Miguel1]

7 hours ago, LordFall said:

Why is pushing boundaries(specifically in an open and consensual way) a bad/toxic thing? Most things in life push boundaries.

You can push it in a healthy way, or unhealthy way.

And if you sell yourself as a spiritual leader, people are looking upto you. You have an extra layer of responsibility to do things ethically.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

19 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

You can push it in a healthy way, or unhealthy way.

I agree - we test each others boundaries all the time to learn more about each other.

People need to take responsibility when they are pushed too far and speak up. Those that don't often have unhealed trauma causing boundary issues.

A compassionate and empathetic individual will usually get a sense for when they have pushed things too far.

But in the end, only we can advocate for ourselves. Onus is on us to say no when needed.

[Leo Gura]

Unilaterally switching your marriage from mono to poly isn't pushing a boundary, it's nuking it.

If Aubrey wants to do honest poly, just start every date by saying, "Hey, I only want poly." Of course he knows that won't work, you gotta get them to fall in love first.

Edited June 8 by Leo Gura