Men, why get married?

[aurum]

12 hours ago, Emerald said:

No one should be getting married just to serve the other person as that just isn't going to work. There has to be a mutual benefit for the marriage to work out.

And there have been studies that have been conducted and men actually seem to benefit more from marriage than women do as there are many social, emotional, and lifestyle needs that men tend to struggle to meet when they're not in a relationship/marriage.

I'm specifically looking to counter a common manopshere talking point. Which is that marriage is inherently a bad deal for men because of things like alimony.

I find this profoundly hypocritical because these same guys all say they want a traditional woman. But they don't recognize the responsibility that necessarily comes with that choice.

If you're going to have a traditional marriage, the woman is taking an asymmetric risk financially. She does not provide for herself. Which means that if the marriage splits, she is in a much more vulnerable position.

This asymmetrical dependence is exactly why things like alimony were developed. It's to protect women in these kind of scenarios and allow them to walk away from a toxic relationship.

There are benefits to marriage for men, but they tend to be more baked into the cake. Alimony is not supposed to be one of them.

So I have some empathy for manosphere guys who maybe have gone through an extremely difficult divorce. But the reality is you have to pick one. Do you want her to depend on you or not?

Trying telling a manosphere / MGTOW guy about the importance of alimony and why men should have to pay it. The bias is obvious.

 

[Schizophonia]

-Tax benefits?

-Please my girlfriend if she finds it magical or just cool for some reason

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

I'm specifically looking to counter a common manopshere talking point. Which is that marriage is inherently a bad deal for men because of things like alimony.

I find this profoundly hypocritical because these same guys all say they want a traditional woman. But they don't recognize the responsibility that necessarily comes with that choice.

If you're going to have a traditional marriage, the woman is taking an asymmetric risk financially. She does not provide for herself. Which means that if the marriage splits, she is in a much more vulnerable position.

This asymmetrical dependence is exactly why things like alimony were developed. It's to protect women in these kind of scenarios and allow them to walk away from a toxic relationship.

There are benefits to marriage for men, but they tend to be more baked into the cake. Alimony is not supposed to be one of them.

So I have some empathy for manosphere guys who maybe have gone through an extremely difficult divorce. But the reality is you have to pick one. Do you want her to depend on you or not?

Trying telling a manosphere / MGTOW guy about the importance of alimony and why men should have to pay it. The bias is obvious.

 

I suppose I understand if you're specifically targeting your advice to Manosphere guys... but I wouldn't target it towards anyone else as there really must be some kind of mutual benefit.

But I've seen plenty of cases where the guy wants a traditional marriage where he is the leader... with a woman who also pays half or more of bills.

In these cases, for women, it's the worst of both worlds... putting in 50-75% of the responsibility while getting none of the freedom and power that would typically be associated with taking on that level of responsibility.

But the reality is that guys who think like this aren't usually Stage Blue traditional guys values-wise themselves. 

They're usually just a bunch of Stage Orange guys who don't care about tradition. But they want the woman bound to the limitations and responsibilities of the traditional Feminine role while they skirt the limitations and responsibilities of the traditional Masculine role, while claiming the level of power and freedom associated with Stage Orange for themselves.

So, it's just a power play... and an over-pornographized version of what it's actually like to operate in a traditional relationship. 

On that basis alone, I think your advice will fall on deaf ears because their whole desire is minimizing their responsibility and maximizing their power... while minimizing the woman's power and maximizing her responsibility. 

Edited May 5 by Emerald

[aurum]

15 minutes ago, Emerald said:

But I've seen plenty of cases where the guy wants a traditional marriage where he is the leader... with a woman who also pays half or more of bills.

In these cases, for women, it's the worst of both worlds... putting in 50-75% of the responsibility while getting none of the freedom and power that would typically be associated with taking on that level of responsibility.

But the reality is that guys who think like this aren't usually Stage Blue traditional guys values-wise themselves. 

They're usually just a bunch of Stage Orange guys who don't care about tradition. But they want the woman bound to the limitations and responsibilities of the traditional Feminine role while they skirt the limitations and responsibilities of the traditional Masculine role, while claiming the level of power and freedom associated with Stage Orange for themselves.

It's corruption.

Values and ideologies at lower stages of development are rationalizations for survival. And they are too simplistic / rigid to accommodate the complexities of reality. So the internal contradictions pile up.

The key insight is that it's not about what is true at lower stages of development.

15 minutes ago, Emerald said:

On that basis alone, I think your advice will fall on deaf ears because their whole desire is minimizing their responsibility and maximizing their power... while minimizing the woman's power and maximizing her responsibility. 

Of course.

Ego 101. How do maximize everything I want and minimize everything I don't?

[Yimpa]

4 minutes ago, aurum said:

Ego 101. How do maximize everything I want and minimize everything I don't?

This ending up as a question is gold.

[Peo]

Is possible to get married without fully sharing finances and without putting all your assets at risk in the event of a divorce? If yes, i would definitely wanna get married. If no, i say hell no. 

[Twentyfirst]

For kids

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

This ending up as a question is gold.

Indeed!

[Javfly33]

On 4/5/2025 at 10:06 PM, Someone here said:

 I agree .Reminds me of an old blog post from Leo explaining that heroin Addicts are actually seeking God without knowing it .

All hedonistic pursuits in the end won't cut it .because you will die at the end along with the whole earth will be blown by the sun . We need something eternal or trans-cosmic. Aka GOD.

More than seeking God is they are running from their own minds. 

Heroin doesn't reveal you God more than coffee or a cigarette does. 

[theleelajoker]

On 3.5.2025 at 9:32 PM, stellataye77 said:

Hi,

I’m wondering about the perspective of marriage to a woman/man from a man’s point of view. Give me some reasons why you are married/ why you aren’t married, or if you’ve decided you will or won’t be married in the future. 

One girl that I imagined marriage with. Don't like all the legal stuff, and the cultural conditioning BUT a) it's a way to prove my commitment not only with words but some action b) it's creates a bit more stable base in times of crisis (U might think 1 day about breaking up and 3 days about getting a divorce and c) it has a certain romantic flavor for me d) I imagine the event as pretty cool Friends, family, music, fun, dance, etc 

[Oppositionless]

Because chasing endless hot new ass is ultimately unsatisfying, even the biggest players usually eventually snap out of it.

A conscious man either has a long term relationship or becomes a monk, in my opinion.

Edited July 1 by Oppositionless

[MarkKol]

My parents divorced early when I was 3, then my dad divorced again with a woman I basically saw as my second mother, the second divorce was more useful to live through because I was old enough to be conscious of it today.

It’s a legal piece of paper with a 1 day celebration, I see it how it is, nothing more. It’s trivial and unimportant, usually done out of legal necessity or impulsivity for something exciting.

[Someone here]

I mean man needs woman and woman needs man. We are social creatures . I'm not just talking about sex and fucking (although that's definitely an absolute ruin and shakes your entire nervous system with endorphins)...but intimacy..family ..children..a soulmate..love..Romance . This is more mighty than awakening to God.