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That's exactly the point. Hitler committed suicide in a bunker over pride. So now who do you think was the biggest hero of WW2? I'll tell you who I think it was if you share first.

This logic can justify anything, including slavery. If you want to be moral you should commit suicide so how can you blame someone for engaging in slavery? What you are displaying here is human supremacy thinking. It's laughable to anyone who is not as biased as you are.

By that logic, anyone who ‘’starts something’’ opens the door for any response, by any means necessary. Applied universally: the US overthrew Iran’s government in 1953, invaded Iraq, bombed Libya, occupied Afghanistan, backed coups and funded militants - does that mean any group that views itself as wronged now has license to do whatever it takes to end the threat? If so, that’s justifying Al-Qaeda, ISIS, and every suicide bombing framed as retaliation. If “whatever means necessary’’ is valid when you feel existentially threatened, then it’s valid for everyone. You can’t excuse away disproportionate violence like nukes on Japan for example “listen to yourself bro”. The US wasn’t even under any threat when they dropped them. It wasn’t for protection but to project power.

Part 11 I have no degree. I tried though. I really tried. I enrolled in 3 different university programs over the course of 5 years. When I was 18 i went for a "Tourism management" program. But i missed at least 80% of classes, because of endless flashbacks, depression, and because it was the time when I was gonna commit suicide. I dropped out after a first year there. Went back to Omsk. I was going to take a year to prepare for entrance exams. Tried to study during that year but couldn't again because of depressive episodes. Although that was the time when my intuition started telling me that for some reason I need to learn English language. I couldn't make myself do exercises to learn English, but i could watch the series called "Friends". I would watch it with double subtitles. I couldn't understand anything. I would read russian subtitles while watching it. I would go to sleep and turn on the series in the background. I would wake up and turn it on again. I would finish all 10 seasons and I would start all over again right away. I couldn't make myself study for exams. But I could watch "Friends" in english again and again. Because i felt that I need to know English. I spent the year doing that. 3 months prior to exams I met someone online. He didn't speak russian. He was fluent in english though. It felt like I knew that guy for eternity, we had such great connection and I've developed a crush on him. We would text everyday. I would use google translator. And English language somehow started to learn by itself, without me doing any exercises. Just through chatting. When I was 20 I went for "Advertising management" program. Missed again at least 80% of classes. Because of flashbacks, depressive episodes, inability to focus, to study. I was physically hurting myself at the time and constantly was in dissociation or "fight or flight" state. Dropped out again. When I was 21 I went for "Translation and translation studies" program. The main subject was English and as second language I chose Spanish.I love how it sounds. Spent there a year and a half. Missed again at least 80% of classes because of the same reason. I really wanted to learn this time because I wanted to know spanish. I really really wanted, but I couldn't. Also that year met a guy. Got into a relationship with him and he turned out to be a covert narcissist. Spent with him a year and a half. But thanks to getting in a relationship with him, i started to read about narcissism. And that's how I was able to recognise that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. And thanks to all of that I was able to realize that my whole identity was a people-pleasing mask that i created when I was still a toddler. That was a painful realization. I dropped out of uni again. Broke up with that guy. It was really hard though for me because of my codependency issues and narcissistic trauma from childhood. The only reason I was able to get out was because he started to treat me really badly the longer we were together. And because he cheated on me. I was grateful he cheated on me because i could finally break up with him. Also after breaking up with him I was able to consciously meet my shadow side for the first time in my life. It was a great experience in my opinion. Because for a moment I could greet the darker side of me. I accepted it and talked to it for the first time and even though it was just for a moment. But it kinda turned into an interesting kinda mystical experience for me. Honestly, every time I was in Uni it just felt so wrong for me. I went there just because my mother and my brother wanted me to. It felt like every time of me being there, was me walking of my own path and heading toward a dead end. I was almost 23 when I dropped out for the last time. I was living in a Uni dorm at the time and wanted to get a job before the dorm knows I am not a student anymore and i get kicked out. I was scared to get a job(because of my trauma and my fear of people). But I had no choice. I had a very strong intuition to find a job as a barista. I didn't know why. The intuition was super strong. Telling me this is where I need to go next. I found a position. Went for an interview. And was taken right away. Even though they had multiple interviews with multiple people, I was taken right away without it. It was the first place of work where I was being treated as a human being. In previous places people in management could pull me into office by my hair and treat me however they wanted to. I think the founder of the chain of these exact coffee shops is somewhere in stage green of spiral dynamics. They have a whole system that cares about their employees. At the branch where I got hired, the manager was very nice and much more emotionally intelligent than any men i've ever met before. There also worked a guy who was quite agressive. Who would brake and throw things at the smallest inconvenience. He would trigger panick attacks in me during the work all the time. And besides that I was constantly having flashbacks and would cry a lot at work. My boss was a very nice man. And he said that either he can talk with someone at the top and ask them to pay for a psycotherapist for me or he can pay out of his own pocket and I can repay him with the time, little by little as I work there. He talked to people at the top. And they told me I can choose a therapist I like and i can have 8 sessions. Intuitively I was drawn to a therapist with a highest paycheck. It would take me at least 4 days of work to pay for just 50 minutes of that therapist. I wouldn't be able to pay her by myself. As soon as the therapist was found for me, It happened in the first 3 weeks of my work there, the agressive guy was gone. She helped me a lot with flashbacks. The method she used was EMDR(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I worked with her for about a month and a half. At that time I also met an American guy online. He was a religious guy to the core of his being. And also he was 22 years older than me(which for me was weird). I was cringing a lot from the religious side of him and our age difference. But i gave it a chance anyway.Broke up with him after 10 months. Lesson learned. Never dating a religious man again. I was almost 24 when I noticed that our regular customer has set his eye on me. Also I worked there for a year already. And also my intuition was telling me that this chapter is coming to an end and it's time to make a new choice. And to leave the place where I worked. We started dating and he asked me to move in with him a week into a relationship. I was hesitating but moved in anyway. 2 months into a relationship he suggested me to leave my workplace and to take a break for 6-12 months. And do or learn what I would like to for these 6 to 12 months. Since I was 19 I have been wanting to learn 3D(I remember being 19 and thinking that I am already too old for that..which in retrospective is so so stupid). 5 years went by and the desire to learn 3D and create art didn't go anywhere. I started to watch blender tutorials on youtube. I was very excited about it. The more tutorials I would watch the more I would realise how much directions there is in 3D and how much there is to learn. There were so many videos on different things like: Modelling, Lighting, Shading and Texturing, UV wrapping, Geo Nodes and so on. I got frustrated because I didn't know where to direct my focus. And also I felt rushed because my boyfriend said I can have 6-12 months, and I don't think like I will be able to start making money from 3d in just 6-12 months. I tried to learn 3d for 4 months. And stopped for now because It just doesn't feel right. That this is what I should do at the moment. Feels like I should focus on something else. And I know what it is. Also as we started dating, I still was suffering and also I didn't speak much. Almost didn't speak at all, so my boyfriend suggested he would pay for a psychotherapist. I dunno what I would do without him and the psychotherapist. I found a new psychotherapist that lives in my city. The woman who was teaching psychology at the last uni program saw me in the class, analysed my drawing and told me that i really need to go through therapy and she gave me a contact of a woman she knew who was a psychotherapist. And honestly, it feels like we were meant to cross our paths. I go to her once a month, I would go more frequently if i had money. It's been 10 months since I've met her. And we had only 10 sessions. She has 15 years of experience and I think she is great.

It's very recent; it started by "playing" with my psyche, as I explained in my journal, but I've developed a tendency toward suicide; it's a kind of strong attraction that comes from guts. Like it's almost Christmas or something. The problem is that I don't want to hurt my family, and I'm stuck with my narcissism in general (Valentin is too attractive and intelligent, has experienced too much to commit suicide; it would be a waste), and you don't know what happens after death. One possibility, btw, is that it's precisely this narcissism that creates this attraction. And it turns out I'll be reincarnated in the same life, or a shitty one. Another option is taking certain drugs or practicing BDSM (I will finish by coming across as a weirdo, lol, think of me as a consciousness technician); maybe a mixture of the two. I was talking about it somewhere once with @Nilsi So as to be able to approach a state of death and total relief, but with safety. It could also be more casual stuff like jumping out of a helicopter, going on a roller coaster etc; but that requires more courage.

Meh. Nah, not weak. People get all gaslighty about suicide, oooh it's cause you're weak. Nope. There's just no visible light at the end of the tunnel. People can get stuck in unbearable circumstances. And I remember yours from previous posts. It's no damn tea party.

True, and if nobody ever cared about your feelings, held you close at night, reminded you of the truths of beauty, love, friendship, warmth, you'd find unhealthy coping strategies (drugs/alcohol) or commit suicide under the weight of it all. Only amplifying suffering. Else you become jaded or traumatised and actively inflict more suffering on the world and others. This is a more accurate and holistic view of things. As horrific as child slavery is, child slaves in Africa find moments of joy in their lives. It's also true that bacon and/or a well made salad are delicious. How else does one get fat? All I'm saying is you need both for effective survival, and therefore truth seeking.

maybe it is justified though that i want these pictures to be seen they are my pictures after all they show me at my most vulnerable they show me at my strongest, at the peak success of a lifetime, as screwed-up as that is they're my pictures and i have a right to share them but still it's probably inappropriate and still, it saddens me every time i look at them and know i can't share them all, can't rub them in everybody's faces, from every angle every shot that still couldn't quite capture just how skinny i was imagine skinny, and i was just skinnier than any skinny you would think of i remember what it was like to have that body to meet every sight of my own legs and arms with surprise, at how unreal they were skinnier than any kind of skinny you'd normally imagine if the narcissism comes through now, i apologise like i said, i have no idea if or how harmful this expression is but it's the most honest reflection i can offer of my thoughts regarding this subject matter i think there's this implicit assumption that technically people are only allowed to talk about death (or suicide, for that matter) after it was too late. if they didn't do it, it couldn't have been close enough, they're exaggerating, they're overdoing it. it's been five years, i should suck it up, it couldn't have been that bad if i made it out alive, if i gained back all the weight on my own....yada yada yada. i know these thoughts, and i know they used to be a big trigger point that kept me going, kept me sick for longer, for months and months and years on end, disallowed me to even attempt recovery, disallowed me to dare and let go, to dare and stop hurting myself, to dare and live. these thoughts are a mess, they're not pretty, they're narcissistic. everything's wrong with me. i can only do it wrong, i'm always too much, always exaggerating. i don't care anymore. i'm so sick of holding back, sick of censoring myself. you want honesty? here you go. enjoy the mess, the chaos, enjoy all the selfishness and impurity of my thoughts. it wouldn't do any good pretending like it's not there anyway.

Uneducated people have more children because they’re not thinking in advance about the responsibility of having those children, they’re not interested in taking care of those children, so the father just disappears Educated people avoid having children because they want to give those children, a good quality of life and that requires money I would have 10 children by now if I had the finances to support it But because it’s financially suicide to do so, and I’m too educated to abandon my children, and I live in a country by law that forces me to support those children financial, I will not have children Having children is financial suicide that educated people avoid It’s also responsibility suicide

I'm probably at 30 days and I've definitely "won" the smoking battle ... i'm not smoking anymore. Whether i'm still impacted by symptoms hard to say because other confounding variables right now I am going through severe nervous system burnout due to overworking the last 2 weeks, combined with distress, pressure, trying to do too much and not recovering my nervous system properly as i had to tasx my body last week .. thought i could just pick it up after 2 days woo cold approach work woo everything no i cant GPT helped me understand this, nervous system recovery means you have to destimulate, leave all the pressure put it all away for 3-5 days, long naps, remove chores tasks and form of "micro stress" that would normally be a healthy part of an active life, remove the gym remove it all. I'm intentionally eating a satiating comfort burger and fries, taking long naps and watching a documentary for hours, and i'm going to have to possibly do this for another 3-4 days and emotionally too i need to detach from everything somehow, all my goals fears regrets desires needs tasks chores it's all disappearing, i have completely taxed my body and brain recently and i just need to fucking stop, no more writing no more thinking, just naps documentaries comfort food and and sleep. with my personality type this is the hardest thing I can ever do, might sound just easy and nice to sit around in comfort but to me it's hell, its another few days of not getting closer to who I want to be become, * It FEELS that way but actually it's just necessary for me to recharge No fap is non negotiable, I fapped and killed my 10 day streak last night and it did not help No fap is the no.1 habit among everything and leos biggest blindspot, it's the one aspect in which i wish i was never influenced by this forum, no fap is non negotiable, i will watch a documentary and eat my satiating burger today, i will try rest my mind, try let go, but the no fap will rebuild, and I'm going for 30 days this time, i might even make a separate journal (like this one) on just my no fap rejourny (i used to do it years ago but I lacked other qualities to enable it as a force multiplier, now I'm bringing it back and its completing me, the magnetism, the stares from women, it doesn't fucking lie! I'm not a supermodel, im decent looking but not standout hot, even at 15-16% bodyfat i get stares from 6.5 + women at day 10, not claiming I get constant stares from 10s, but getting stares from 6.5-7s is no small thing because women date up and are very selective, 99% of men dont get stares from even 6s, and its not solely the no fap its also good style and posture and subsconious work but the no fap is the force multiplier that powers everything, it's the electricity transversing the grid Edit ** I tried eating the "comfort food" and it did nothing for me, it did not rest me I tried starting a documentary and the regret, stress, frustration just piles up again and agian and again HOw the fuck does anyone do this? how the fuck does this "Rest" the nervous system? WHy cant i just keep working? Its anxiety abut not moving forward that stresses me, not action AHHH Chat gpt has to be wrong sometimes I've learn another deeper lesson about myself, inaction especially before like 7-8PM, is mental suicide to me, even if i'm technically burnt out, i literally had like a 1-2 hour nap and GPT convicned me to not create "micro stress", what the fuck is this? I have chores to do, i have goals, i have a city to move to, i need to make money, save money, invest money, approach women ... what the fuck man what the fuck this just makes me sooo much more fucking stessed and anxious, just sitting around "recouperating" i'm literally in my 20s not 95 years old? why do this shit absolute hell for my ennegram soul of a being

It's not that you shouldn't hunt, it's that you shouldn't cling; just "fill" what there is to fill. It the uterus who traps, who clings because of its muscles; a penis is like a big vein, it’s not made to cling, just be hard. Normally men tend naturally towards this state of detachment, but it can generate a morbid state of mind, even an inclination towards suicide. The more morbid I am, the less problem I have with women, and the more masculine I am in general, but that can be dangerous for someone who represses mood problems. If what i say is comprehensible.

Just finished it- thought it was pretty good. I like the fluidity and continuous spontaneity- it’s almost like a stream of consciousness-how random each of the scenes are while at the same time intertwining with one another. Certain scenes had an almost psychedelic feel to it- certain glimpses into insanity. What struck me was that we’ve all been there where Nicholas Cages character wasn’t having anything go his way, humiliated constantly and on the brink of rock bottom/suicide- but yet it someone all works out in the end

After Kurt Cobain’s death in 1994, Courtney Love went to Malibu to recover. Celebrity Skin, the Hole album released four years later, is the first major artistic expression to emerge from that period. “Malibu,” its lead single, seems at first like a breezy radio-friendly track - sun-drenched guitars, catchy hooks, easy drive-along pace. But something in it doesn’t sit right. Beneath the polish lies a wound that never healed. The song is not a statement of recovery; it’s a relapse masked as pop. And once you start noticing, you can’t unhear it. It begins with the line: “Crash and burn / all the stars explode tonight.” Already, we are in the climax. Not building up to it - there. The sun has already gone down. The stars are exploding. The catastrophe is not coming. It’s ongoing. The song opens at night - both literally and metaphorically - and the rest is a haze of flashbacks and echoes. In the first verse, the subject seems to be pleading with herself: “Come on, be alive again, don’t lay down and die.” And then, almost immediately, she sings: “Drive away from Malibu.” It sounds like an escape, a promise. Like she’s willing herself to leave the symbolic space of death and detachment. You think: Okay, this is the arc of recovery. She’s making it out. The structure suggests a chorus, but no real release comes. Instead, we sink back into another verse. The song’s architecture refuses catharsis. By the second verse, the identity of the addressed “you” begins to shift. The lines now feel unmistakably directed at Kurt: “Cry to the angels / I’m gonna rescue you / I’m gonna set you free / Tonight.” That tonight - the very same night that opened the song with stars exploding - is the moment when she was supposed to let go, to grieve, to survive. Instead, she slides into delusion. She hasn’t accepted his death. She’s still trying to save him, or rather, to inhabit the fantasy that she could have been the one to save him, if only. In the next lines - “We are all watching you / We watch you slip away” - there’s no ambiguity anymore. She’s witnessing his suicide, retroactively. She confesses: “I knew love would tear you apart / I knew the darkest secret of your heart.” And then, the devastating final turn: “Hey, hey, I’m gonna follow you.” At this point, the song reveals its structure: it’s a loop. Not a narrative of healing, but of haunting. The second verse is a relapse into the traumatic event itself. Love is not singing from recovery, but from within the impossibility of recovery. The fantasy of Malibu as a place for stars to get well collapses into the fantasy of saving Kurt posthumously. She has projected her own pain into this space, trying to become the one who took on the rehab he refused. But it doesn’t work. The sun goes down again. The loop starts over. That one line - “And the sun goes down” - quietly undoes the whole track. Because the song began at night. The sun never rose. If we thought we were heading toward a redemptive sunrise, it was only illusion. Instead, the sun goes down again, and we realize we’ve been circling. Nothing has changed. There was no movement, no healing. Just a return. The voice tells the whole story. It’s subdued, strangely restrained. There is no scream, no catharsis like on Live Through This. The guitars shimmer like daydreams; the production is tight, overglossed. But the voice is haunted. She’s too exhausted to scream. She doesn’t explode. The emotion leaks through the seams, and that’s what makes it so powerful. In the end, “Malibu” isn’t a celebration of recovery or survival. It’s a stunning portrayal of the inability to move on. It’s not a story with resolution but an echo chamber, circling around an absence that cannot be filled. The polished production makes it seem palatable - something to sing along to on the radio - but underneath, it is a tragedy.

“Suicide should never be an option” person A says to person B. Enter person C: “ well, actually, you’re wrong. Suicide is an option if the pros outweigh the cons”. WTF??

The truth that suicide can be the best option is best left unsaid in public forums. It’s weird how this is like the 5th thread I’ve seen around here where this obvious truth is being talked about like it’s some deep insight. Flexing how much cold truth you know around people toying with suicide is immature and dangerous.

Ah yes, sorry for the confusion. If you perused the dialogue that followed between Miguel1& I, I did backtrack. I was hasty. Terminal health cases where quality of life is non-existent are a good example of a case for suicide. I sensed the desire for the OP to harm themselves, so I was mainly acting out in an attempt to protect themselves from a terrible mistake

And if you have a disease that destroys your body little by little? Well, I guess you'd have to go through it like a mission. It's part of our path here, and we have to drink the glass to the end. That's what my intuition tells me now, but maybe in some specific case suicide would appear as what I have to do

Sounds like an interesting experience . The Japanese are fascinating, very difficult to understand. They seem like a very repressed culture, where everything is ritualistic. They're absolutely horrified at not meeting social standards, and where the main value is the repression of instincts in order to fit into the social framework. And then there's the whole hara-kiri thing... In no other culture has suicide been an institution. Not to mention their sexual fantasies. Very different than any other culture.

Just because they’re not openly advocating for the extermination of Latinos or whatever (although go on Twitter and you’ll see countless accounts expressing that exact sentiment), doesn’t mean their worldview isn’t fundamentally baked in anti-human white supremacy. A Nazi who “only” wants to deport every black and brown person from America regardless of the human cost is still a Nazi, they don’t need the death camps and swastika logos to prove this. A radical Islamist who calls for the death of the West and the final victory of Islam is still a radical Islamist, even if they don’t openly try to suicide bomb people (but then again they probably have obvious connections to groups who do.) It’s a sinister game of deflect and deny and I’m honestly tired of pretending that illegal mass ethnic deportations are “ok” just because the people doing so aren’t also waging war on Poland or whatever.

@Never_give_up thanks for opening up. All these things you mentioned can be improved .you just don't how yet .so the situation is not hopeless like someone who has a cancer .so the two points I asked you whether they apply to your life situation or not are not intact. By your own admission you said you feel slightly better right now . So I would say that means you are going to stick around for a while and not kill yourself just yet . I dealt with the question of suicide early on in my teen years . I just discovered that life is just a piece of shit and you just suffer and die in the end anyways so what's the fucking point of grinding and suffering for 60 or 70 or 80 years then die anyways..?..why not just kill myself and rest in peace? The answer is complex : 1- you do not know what happens after death . Maybe you incarnate as a jew in Hitler's Nazi era . Maybe you incarnate as a cow in a slaughter shop . So how do you know that death will end your suffering and not just increases it? I'm sure you reasoned with yourself this point . 2-it is not true that life is pure shit. You can't deny that happiness exist . And hope exist .People who kill themselves do so because they are hopeless. You need to find a source of hope .that could be God..Going to the church ..prayer ..practicing gratitude..etc Hope you live long fullfling life with peace brother 🙏.

@Natasha Tori Maru if what you are saying is true ..then why people commit suicide? Look at these suicide statistics https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/ Don't delete yourself. Watch Leo's videos and work on improving your life everyday . Can you please open up about why you want to suicide?

I appreciate that you are speaking from experience. Btw why do you think you "incarnate" into a worse situation if you suicide? And what "evidence" do you have for that? I use evidence here more loosely... As in how did you come to believe this over time.

There are definitely cases where suicide is and should be the answer. And those cases are more than you would believe. It’s a fantasy to think that we are in such a world where suicide is never the answer.

This post really did something and hit me right in the heart I repressed my situation for so long, making myself believe that I didn't have it that hard or wasn't traumatised so hard and that I should man up because others have it so much worse But I basically dont believe i have a shot anymore at women for various reasons, mostly medical This post did something to me because I am one of those fantasizing about suicide and hurting women, basically everyday Been reading blackpill stuff since 18 in 2018, got off it at times but it always came back, especially after my medical issues started arising and i lost all hope I guess it's obvious that I am bottom of the barrel if I read this post and what kind of people are like this I've been repressing the pain and desperation with hate I'm afraid to die alone sometimes I am afraid that I would go through with hurting myself or others Like I shared in a previous post, I even got involved in nazi ideology and jihadi ideology, like i literally thought about joining *SIS - suicidal thoughts got me thinking about hell and jihadi thought says, you can die in battle and go to heaven and have all the girls you ever wanted, but if you kill yourself you go to hell forever And I just hate society and wanted to lash out With love of Truth and epistemology i pulled myself out mentally and actually see the world for what it is now mostly, even though that's a lot more blackpilling than normie worldview or even radicalised worldview, can't blame anything anymore Just nihilism but the remnants of hate remain even though and I feel a satanic identity growing, powered by nihilism and rage I'm pretty much at my wits end sometimes I feel like going on an endless pelgrimage, not committing suicide but just giving up on life, not planning anything, and just walking and die somewhere in nature, whether its in weeks, months, years or decades Like Gautama Buddha did, just give up on everything, including life, but not Truth, in a sense it's such a liberating and even cosmically spiritual idea Because life in this society doesn't feel liveable anymore Or turn into a devil and wreak havoc on this world, I won't lie, I fantasize about it I'm not sure who to talk to about this The thought of life being a dream and nihlism is so weird, like could I really just kill myself and be done with it and have my next life be how i want it? or would i go to hell? suicide feels wrong, like you're running away from the challenge, but is that even a real objection? does God even care if you hold on through it all? is there a reward for that? ============== The "funny" thing is, I was stuck in the mud from a young age, but fought and things got better, and my stats like height and looks are not even bad, just average, if not slightly above average, and got better over time, like i used to be really fat but im not now and even though i went through a lot of shit , even mental health shit and addiction shit from 2019-2022 i kept fighting and in the start of 2023 I felt better than ever, mentally and physically, and really felt like this is my time, blackpill wasn't on my mind at all "I'm going to get money, develop myself, talk to a lot of girls and get better at it!" And If it'd all happened that way I would have had major success by now probably, even though by compensating with money and fitness for my average looks, who cares but in june 2023 I got hit with medical complications hitting my face, facial nerves, tongue, jaw, from a festering tooth infection, and now inflammation on one side of my face is just constant and I have semiconstant dysarthria (unable to talk normally at most times), salvia coming, cramps in the face, nerve system issues including panic (not panic attacks but more a lingering panic and confusion), and just constant pain and inflammation I look like a fool and can't socialize and feel extremely ashamed only drugs like cocaine fix it temporarily(nerve system stimulants) but i'm not gonna be on fucking cocaine, and it doesn't fix all the issues, like I was with a girl 1.5 years ago on cocaine and she was the first girl in years i had a chance with and i tried to kiss her and my fucking tongue just couldn't stick out properly been to doctors who can't find anything, even though they don't really seem to care Ever since been getting back into blackpill and how women just care about looks and if you're a strong socializer and networker, and just having very negative views about women and my looks and my personality I don't even wanna die but it feels like I have nothing to live for atp except not dying for my family Sometimes solipsism, which I basically know is true, makes this super hard to live for others even though I know solipsism doesn't work that way, from a human sense nothing changes Looking back on it getting into those radical ideologies was just escaping from nihilism and solipsism because it felt like it was leading to my suicide, and religious thought gives you a reason to live even if you're in constant pain I feel like just walking indefinitely and give up Why are women so fucking beautiful man, their beauty hits like nothing else, like an angel of death Sean Kingston wasn't lying Somehow I am getting stronger one hand, quit weed and cigarettes for 5 months now and never looked back and working out regularly but it also feels like i'm just letting go of the cope and just facing my suicide IDK anymore man

Hard disagree with this and your post above. Suicide is never the answer. 1) there is always a solution, it's you're frame and perspective that is limited 2) pain and suffering are just part of this existence I've had a hard enough life to seriously entertain suicide. Things changed. You just don't know what life has coming.