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This is one of my deepest trips I have experienced so far, and it is actually one of my earlier trips. Substance: 200ug LSD and 100mg MDMA This is actually not that high of a dose for me, I usually take much larger doses, but during this trip I was able to let go very deeply which potentiated the trip massively. Report: As this was years ago, I do not remember the comeup, so I will skip to the peak. The peak is starting to set in, I feel this extremely deep need to let go. I am listening to music. I lie down on a couch and I am about close my eyes, but before I do my awareness suddenly goes out of my POV and I am able to see the surroundings of my environment as if from above. I see beyond walls, and it is as if my POV and perspective is at all places at the same time. I begin to dissolve rapidly. There is a sense that I have done this infinitely many times before. I see people walking outside from a very expanded level consciousness, but not through my eyes. I let go even more, and I think at this point there is no more distinction between having my eyes open or closed, it became a meaningless concept, there was just experience. I begin to experientially dissolve all qualities I am familiar with in my experience: sense of I, being in a location, and much more. Experiential qualities like the temperature, external environment, memory, music, time, and everything you consider to be a part of your human experience are absolutely deconstructed away from my experience. What I mean is that these things ceased to exist in my experience, as I was realizing that it had been me all along who had been constructing these things. They were not outside elements, but all created by my mind. It is as if a huge burden is being lifted off from me, all my limitations are falling away. At this point my consciousness zooms out and encompasses a galaxy. I am filled with indescribable deep physical euphoria, ecstacy, bliss, and love. It felt like an orgasm, except it was thousands of times stronger and everywhere. I was feeling this infinitely deep euphoria and love on the scale of a galaxy, not in a body, because I no longer had a body, I had deconstructed it. I was feeling it everywhere where I was - which currently was a galaxy, or something of that scale. My consciousness was filled with nothing but bliss, and was incredibly vast, I cannot even begin to describe this. It should be noted that at this point I had no separate senses left, the only thing in my existence was this spacious bliss, alongside a visual representation of the form that I had become, but rather than seeing the form, I had become all of it. I keep letting go, and as I do, my awareness starts to encompass a whole universe. I was being it, I became it. The bliss becomes even more intense, I cannot in any way relate to this level of love and bliss in my current state. After this, I let go even more and now I see an infinite number of these universes, and become something akin to a multiverse. At this point I feel like full on God. No longer there is any subject and object, only experience itself. There was total Oneness in so many different dimensions. The intelligence, beauty, bliss, and love are indescribable. All of this transition happened very fast. I then let go even more until my form and experience was nothing but something like an infinite number of godheads. Alex Grey's artwork The Net of Being shows a very crude version of a state like this. What I experienced was infinitely more grand. I was not seeing an internal hallucination with my eyes closed of these godheads, at this point I literally did not have eyes in my experience, and instead of seeing anything I was becoming the space of these places itself. The godheads, that I now was, were indescribably intelligent, and each godhead contained within an infinite number of dimensions and universes inside it. They were perfectly one, yet infinite at the same time, and were in total communication with each other. There was nothing left of my human experience, I was full on God. It should be noted that my usual senses did not exist, nor did memory, time, or language. There was just utter peace, bliss, love, intelligence, beauty, and consciousness. There was infinite self knowing. I was in control of everything, yet I did not have to control anything. This was nirvana. I became completely omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. Everything was an infinite fractal, containing everything else in any point of the experience. This state was completely self-sustained and self-generated, the source being me, which was infinite consciousness. There was a infinite beauty, which was reflective in quality, and conveyed the feeling of total awakening. The love was infinitely deep, there was nothing but love. I was absolutely conscious of everything in existence. I stretched infinitely far in all possible dimensions, not only spatial, but in all experiential dimensions that were possible. The creative potential was so vast I could have created trillions fully fledged out dimensions and it wouldn't even come close to the full capacity of this state, but I felt no desire to do anything. I could do anything, and I mean anything at all. Nothing was impossible. The bliss and love at this point are infinite in magnitude, and were I be still in a physical body, the body would literally die from the amount of love and bliss I was experiencing. This state was the source of all creation and my true nature. This unmanifest realm was where I would go when I died. This was what I was before I was born. All of this felt very deeply healing, as if every state I ever experienced as a human was utterly unsatisfactory compared to this, nothing ever came even close to this. I then proceeded to rest in this state for an infinitely long time. For comparison, all of my life up until this point was experientially not even a fraction as long as I was here. A million years would not even come close to how long I was in this blissful state. After I felt like I had become completely and utterly satisfied, I decided I wanted to become a human again. This only happened once I was completely satisfied after spending an infinitely long time in this state. I began to construct a human experience again. I started with making the physical universe, then I started localizing myself into it. I started reconstructing the music, clock time, the physical body, personal memory and other things like this. I consciously went through the process of creating my memories, my life situation, my environment, and could have chosen any form I wanted for myself, but I specifically wanted to be me. I completely desired to be me, and this was the sole reason I constructed myself as I was. I begin to come back, and at this point I once again have a physical human form, but I am still feeling the love and euphoria, though now it is localized to be felt all over my body. I continue to lower my level of consciousness so that I can experience what it is like to be a human, because as long as I am a body it cannot keep this level of consciousness or it would physically disintegrate, so I had to use my intelligence to put limitations on myself. The rest of the trip was then spent enjoying the music, and being in awe of the fact that I was God. This trip permamently changed all of my understanding regarding reality, life, myself, and so much more. It should also be noted that when I say that something was infinite in scale here, it truly was at that scale, and I am not exaggerating one bit regarding the level of love, bliss, and consciousness that I experienced.

Self Love= I am that I am. Not I am wrong, Not I am weird, Not I am getting better, Not I am a work in progress, I am that I am says I am the way I am and I accept it fully. I am that I am, says I can be anything, but I am. I am that I am is not a question, it is a statement of profoundness in its simplicity. It is full acceptance, is is the equivalent of whatever may be shall be, what is,.....is. It is, what it is. I am that I am, and it is what it is, if it wasn't what it is, then it would not be ising. Being is being, it can only be, if it could not be, then it would not be. The question isn't to be or not to be, because it will always be. I am that I am is full acceptance, nirvana, peace, the stillness, eternity, infinite love, bliss, it is...silence...it is infinity, it is …. forever and it will never end. Recognize.... the I am that I am.....then you will realize....and the search will end.

http://humandesign.net/basic-concepts.html """ FOUR TYPES OF HUMAN BEINGS AND THEIR STRATEGY The Human Design System groups people into 4 specific types: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors and Reflectors. The main difference between each type is in their aura. Although there are endless variations within each type (and within our genetics), each type has a specific auric quality that determines its strategy - a correct way of approaching and navigating life. Strategy and authority are two key elements of the Human Design System – and all you really need to know to live a fulfilling life free from resistance. We are objects moving in space. Just like a street car when driven off the road, we too encounter problems and resistance when we don't respect our unique nature. MANIFESTOR Manifestors are a minority - around 8% of all people. You are the only type that is here to initiate. Historically, Manifestors were the rulers and law givers of the world. So many of our habits and accepted generalizations are created by and fit for Manifestors. You are the ones - the only ones - who really can go out and make things happen. As children this happens as soon as they can reach the doorknob. You are designed to be an unstoppable force that will not allow anyone to control you. If there is something you want, go and get it, as it will not come to you (be it a job, partner etc.) - just listen to your authority. You have the potential to shape the world the way you want it to be. On an energy level you have a very deep impact on others, but your aura doesn't communicate as much as the auras of other types. That's why people often don't know what to think about you. It creates un unconscious fear in them and they try to control you from the moment you were born. This leads you to your predominant negative feeling – anger. The secret of success for you lies in communication. The way to operate correctly for you as a Manifestor is to inform. Inform those that are going to be impacted by your actions about what you're going to do. In this way, others will not be so intimidated by you. They may actually help you and put their energy into whatever it is that you have initiated. Then you can find what you are looking for - PEACE. Without informing, you will get resistance every step of the way. That's why many Manifestors, already in their childhood, resign, after being punished over and over again by parents, teachers and others. They give up their manifesting powers and concentrate on going through life, just getting by. They may feel ignored, or like they've been run over by a truck. The last thing they would want to do is to inform others. Everybody else is in their way all the time, so the idea of making it easier for others by informing is unacceptable. Yet it's the only way out of the circle of control and resistance. (While still living with parents, Manifestor's strategy is actually different - they need to ask for permission.) Go to sleep as soon as you begin to feel tired. You can read or watch a movie for a while before you fall asleep, but already lying down in a horizontal position. If possible, sleep alone, not in other people's aura – you will feel the difference in you in the morning.Remember that there may be a neighbor above or behind the wall and if you're closer then your two arm-lengths, you are still in each other's aura. Strategy: Inform those who will be impacted by your actions. Think about that, you'll see you impact quite a lot of people. Predominant negative feeling: Anger Famous Manifestors: Johny Depp, Richard Burton, George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler, Frida Kahlo, Jack Nicholson, Robert DeNiro, Orson Welles and Susan Sarandon GENERATOR Almost 70 % of all people are Generators. If you have a defined Sacral center, then no matter how the rest of your chart looks, you are one of them. Generators are the great workers of the world. But also the slaves, who doing work they can't stand, day after day. You can imagine Manifestors as the Pharaohs of the ancient Egypt and Generators as all those multitudes who built the pyramids. Sacral is a tremendous energy generator (hence the name) that gives you all the energy you need to do things, anything you enter into correctly. For Generators, life is all about RESPONSE. Instead of chasing after life, let the life come to you. Your aura, like a powerful magnet, brings to you everything you need to fulfill your purpose. Sacral can not initiate, it can only respond. The only truth is that which comes to you through your response. Without responding, you will end up deeply frustrated. SATISFACTION is the key word for Generators. You need to be selfish; it's all about self satisfying work. Do only what brings you satisfaction. Your life is all about doing what you love and only that shows you who you are and brings you happiness. In words of a renowned anthropologist Joseph Campbell: "Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." If you initiate, if you don't respond and enter into things incorrectly, you get the theme of frustration and want to get out, quit. Your energy is cut off and you end up feeling depleted, tired or frustrated. There are 2 categories of Generators: (Pure) Generators and Manifesting Generators. The main difference is that Pure Generators work in gradual phases, much like climbing a mountain: going up, things are moving on, until they reach a plateau when nothing seems to be happening. If they didn't begin whatever they are doing out of response, this is the moment when they feel stuck or trapped. However, if they entered into it correctly, eventually an impulse will come from outside and they will resume their work, and start climbing again. Manifesting Generators do things very quickly and are even more tempted to initiate (not waiting for something to respond to). They are very efficient and skip that, which is not important. But in doing so, they also often skip something essential and then they need to go back to it. If you're a Generator, it's healthy for you to go to bed only when you are exhausted. If you haven't used up your energy, you will have problem falling asleep and will not wake up fresh the next day. Strategy: Wait to respond Predominant negative feeling: Frustration for Pure Generators and frustration and/or anger for Manifesting Generators. Famous Pure Generators: Albert Einstein, Dalai Lama, Elvis Presley, Bill Clinton, Meryl Streep, John Lennon, Madonna, James Dean, Vladimir Lenin, Carl Jung, Timothy Leary, Oprah Winfrey, Meg Ryan, Greta Garbo, Margaret Thatcher, Deepak Chopra Famous Manifesting Generators: Frederic Chopin, Marie Curie, Hillary Clinton, Clint Eastwood, Sigmund Freud, Mahatma Gandhi, Steffi Graf, Marie Antoinette, Mikhail Gorbachev, Jimi Hendrix, Pope John Paul II, Janis Joplin, Friedrich Nietzsche, Richard Nixon, Yoko Ono, Prince, Jaqueline Onassis, Martin Luther King, Vincent Van Gogh PROJECTOR If you are a Projector (22 % of population), you are not here to work. You are here to know others, to recognize and guide them. But that can only happen if you yourself are 1) recognized and 2) invited to do so. Your strategy is to wait for an invitation in the important areas of you life (your relationships, work etc.). If your authority says yes, then you can really share your gifts and guidance. To be invited means that you are seen and recognized for your values. If you don't wait for an invitation, or the energy of invitation, you meet resistance. Through your open centers, you take others in deeply. You take in other people's definition and you can clearly see who they are. Your aura focuses on the very core of their being and you can recognize others. But if you try to guide others without being invited to do so, you meet resistance, or feel that no one really sees you, no one recognizes you. Out of that comes a deep feeling of bitterness, often mixed with exhaustion. Projectors fear that they will not be invited. But if you follow your strategy of waiting for the invitation, what happens is that your aura's frequency starts to change and the more you live according to your design, the more invitations you get. This will bring you SUCCESS. Once invited, you don't need to wait for any more invitations regarding whatever you were invited to (project, job, relationship etc.). Just follow your authority in doing what you do and don't initiate. The invitation, correct entry into anything, is the key. The feeling of being recognized, appreciated, heard and seen. Is it there? Great. If not, you may stop talking in mid sentence and save yourself yet one more disappointment of not being understood. Projectors are the eternal students of humanity and system masters. You need to have a system through which you can relate and understand life. Projectors often have the need to study Human Design deeply in order to gain the intellectual understanding of how they are to operate correctly. Projectors are the only type who can really know what's going on. Your openness can be energetically exhausting, so it is important to have your own space where you can relax. The same advice regarding sleeping applies to you as to everyone else with an undefined Sacral: go to bed as soon as you begin to feel tired and if at all possible, sleep alone (see Manifestors for details). Strategy: Wait for an invitation, or the energy of invitation Predominant negative feeling: Bitterness Famous Projectors: Queen Elisabeth II, Mick Jagger, Joseph Stalin, Ringo Starr, Osho, Napoleon, Woody Allen, Salvador Dali, Elizabeth Taylor, Fidel Castro, James Joyce, Barbra Streisand, Ulysses S. Grant, Douglas MacArthur, Demi Moore, Princess Diana, Tony Blair, Ramana Maharshi, George Gurdjieff REFLECTOR Reflectors make up only about 1 % of the population. If you have all your centers open, you are a Reflector. You are completely open to the world and others. As there are no defined centers in your design, you take in the definition of everybody else. It's like seeing the world through their eyes, sampling their particular frequency and reflecting back the other. You are like a mirror and the reflection of other people constantly changes your perception. One moment you many feel extremely emotional, the next moment it's gone. Then you may get all these ideas and a strong sense of knowing where you're going in life, and then it's gone again, and so on and so forth. That's why it's very important for you to choose your friends and partners carefully, as they will have a great impact on your feelings and your experience of yourself. For you, the open G center rule - to be only in places that you like - is even more important. Then you will be with the right people and get the love you seek. Your total openness can make you at times almost invisible to others. Without knowing the mechanics of your design, you may feel deeply disappointed in life. But this very openness is a potential for a great wisdom, if you learn how to work with it correctly. You are here to sample life. To successfully apply this knowledge, Reflectors have the need to study and intellectually understand the Human Design System. Any kind of pressure is detrimental to your health. Take your time to make important decisions and don't let anyone pressure you. You are a lunar being, tied to the lunar cycle, so the strategy for you is to wait 29 days before making any major decision . During these 29 days, talk with different people about your decision - and listen to what you yourself say about it. That's how you find something different and how you get to be SURPRISED. Life for you is an impersonal experience. As you go through life, learning the truth of "this isn't me" again and again, your greatest potential is that of complete transparency. Your openness can be energetically exhausting so it is important to have your own space where you can relax. The same advice regarding sleep applies for you as for everyone else with an undefined Sacral: go to bed as soon as you begin to feel tired and if at all possible, sleep alone (see Manifestors for details). Strategy: Wait 29 days (the full cycle of the Moon) before making a major decision and talk with others about it, while paying attention to what you say Predominant negative feeling: Disappointment Famous Reflectors: H.G. Wells, Sandra Bullock, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ammaji (hugging Amma) TYPES - CONCLUSION The strategy of each type is very simple, yet it may be not be easy to put into practice at first. Manifestors, who feel controlled by others all their life, need to inform. Generators, who have oceans of energy, can't just go around doing anything - they need to wait and respond. Projectors, who can see others and are here to guide them, need to wait for an invitation - something they never expect to happen. And Reflectors, with their openness and taking in other people's definition, must wait 29 days before making a major decision - no matter how certain they feel about something in the moment. """

Some very practical suggestions on grounding and integration after a 5-meo-dmt or other deep psychedelic trip. At first I didn't think much of it, since there were some odd/unconventional suggestions in this guide. But after some heaving sweating in a sauna the week after a deep 5-meo journey, I realized how important bodily grounding after a deep trip is. I felt a deep bliss and integration of a sort of ungrounded energy that had been lingering in my body and mind after the 5-meo experience for a while. I am sure many of the other practices can be very helpful as well. Integration-Guidelines-CONCLAVE-28.05.18 (1).pdf

One of the most helpful resources you can have with awakening is inner peace, learning/developing a mind capable of abiding in being and the formless bliss that results from such development. Daily meditation is where Id start. If you already have this practice in place, learning how to develop shamatha, shamatha meditation. This not only develops concentration, it brings unification and harmonization to the mind, both of which are indispensable for deeper levels of awakening.

this whole awakening thing is something new that is possible thanks to psychedelics. before the 5 meo the issue was about people who had had some spontaneous occasional awakening, or who had read about enlightenment and were looking for it through a long and hard path. enlightenment implies letting go of your ego forever, killing the self. something karmic that only happens if you are destined for it, 99,9% of the wannabe never get ir. The enlightened one, after years of searching, lets go of the self in eternity and becomes a being without desire, without attachment, who lives as an absolute without even understanding how a separate being once felt. without caring about his body or his material survival, completely unlimited, but alien to the human. Probably he spends his life meditating in solitude. For him, anything is equal to anything else. Awakening as leo says, is that one day, you, that egoic guy who could never opt for enlightenment in a thousand lives, takes a psychedelic and became the absolute for 5 minutes. this is a huge difference to not doing it, but after those 5 minutes you go back to being the unenlightened egoic individual, like leo, and you explain your story by conceptualizing everything, as leo does. It's much better to me the Leo's option than being enlightened, since you are still playing the ego game, but you have seen what it really is. the absolute will arrive, since it is reality, but why not play the ego while it exists? It is beautiful and challenging. should not be despised. seeing the absolute sometimes widens, enriches, the game of the relative. kill the relative and become absolute and return to bliss meditating sitting... so why did you create the game? let's play the best we can. the absolute will arrive

Agreed, to say that they stand for rationalism is irrational in that they have the most incoherent worldview that there is. In all the great traditions around the world they say that God is Being which is existence as such, not in a particular form really but the fullness of Being, which materialism and atheism have no answer for, also, the traditions speaks about Conciousness, which also is a big problem for atheism and materialists. Also Love as such is a problem, which in its nature transcends both time and space. God is the fullness of Being , Conciousness, Bliss/Love, which in God they all come together as ONE. We humans seek the Good, the True and the Beatiful. Only a infinite source can satiate our desires really.

@Carl-Richard My point is the reason we can't find common ground is because you fundamentally don't value truth. When people speak about ego death it's hard because I can't know what you mean. I've had psychidelic trips where it was clear I'm not a human in the way I thought, and I realized when you fully surrender it's all good and pure bliss At this point the path is unfolding on it's own for me, I can't really stop the process nor would i want to. Maybe because I know it's all good that's why I don't have the same aversion to the truth idk.

All I can really say on the topic is when there is an experience of an individual having or owning these fluctuating emotions, they feel real and completely personal. And that experience can seem to range anywhere from calming bliss to nightmarish chaos. When there's no one buying into or feeding these emotions energy or meaning. They just come and go like the weather without anyone placing judgment on whether they are good or bad or or even real for that matter. But it's not like a denial of certain emotions seemingly arising either...... rather it's just the clear recognition that they are not arising for someone & because of something. For some reason I was reminded of this video... ♥

No, I don't feel ungrounded. It's exactly the opposite. But there is a "downside", if your consciousness elevates too much: you are in a constant state of bliss and you see Beauty everywhere. For instance, while writing this, I am listening to a song and the Beauty of consciousness just tears me up. I can't do much work if I practice every day, I purposefully have to maintain my state of consciousness at a manageable level. I don't practice Kriya Yoga every day.

Intuition; tells you what to do, live in the now, bliss, enjoyment Ego; tells you what you need to do, worry I'm not telling anyone to do anything, I don't see it as advice even It's just, "No this isn't what solves your problem. The boat/answer is just right here, you can hop on or not" I don't think following it 100% of the time is required to make a difference You follow it more, the next gen follows it more,.... And the more you follow it the more you follow it, it's just so damn peaceful man

The Saint= Avoids all forms of immorality. Upholds the highest moralist virtues. Preaches eternal damnation and suffering for those who do not follow their example. Shadow= Cannot tolerate any forms of immorality done in their presence, the occults. Seeker of Truth= An investigator, a spiritual scientist, a metaphysical explorer, one who seeks the deepest understandings of the foundation of the universe/reality and all that entails. Shadow= The ordinary, the mundane, the non-spiritual, deception, lies, victim-blaming, lack of self-reflection, shallowness. The life of the party= The one who always knows how to raise the energy to rock star extrovert levels, can crack a joke, lead a discussion, and overall keep the energy going for the group all night long. Shadow= obscurity, alone, ignored, looked over/passed over, lack of importance or prestige, The scholar= Has studied the deepest philosophical and scientific truths, theorems, and is on the edge constantly of every major scientific endeavor. Shadow= Mysticism, New Age Spirituality, Hippie culture, religion, counter culture, the occults. The coward= Extremely shy, pessimistic, fearful, already defeated before the battle/struggle. Shadow= The Brave and the Bold, The optimist, the faith believer, the wing it guy, the it will all work out with no explanation guy. The moralist/serious one= Believes there is a right or wrong way to do things. Believes in logic, order, and is almost mechanical in the way they view life. Shadow= jokes, playing around, disorganization, meaninglessness. The warrior= Love the next challenge, seeks to test their skills at every increasing levels, revels in their accomplishments and victories. Shadow= cowardice, loss of control, weakness, victims/victim mentality, emotional expressions of love or fear. The doubter= Thinks everything is fake, because ultimately they view themselves as fake. Struggles to find any truth or meaning in everything. The brother of nihilism. Shadow= Meaning, authenticity, truth, love, purpose, fun, joy. The nihilist= The world, everything is meaningless in a depressive spiral of nothingness towards an endless void of triviality and depravity. Shadow= Love, meaning, inspiration, Joy, Bliss, interconnectedness, Oneness. Add more if you can think of some.

I mean having fear period, fearing dystopia. I don't mean a fear(dystopia, death), I mean fear period Zero fear, live in the now, heaven or hell, bliss

That's your bias - notice that. But yes when your consciousness elevates a thousand fold to where you are directly conscious everyone else IS you it is terrifying to the ego because of the recontexualization. It feels like insanity because the ego's existence relies on a separation between self and other- and when that collapses, so does the ego. But notice this is not God as Pure Infinity or the pure singularity. That is a higher state but not pure Infinity. This will be Absolute Love and Divine Bliss. It is only in a finite state or fragmented state where bias towards being alone occurs. And notice that bias can go either way depending on your finite POV and how you want to view reality.

your scenario is a massive deal with the devil when you wake up, every moment is overwhelming bliss better than any unreliable orgasmic bliss, what you are doing is preventing one from reaching so a hard no from me, no pun intended

The true nature of reality/God is bliss, love, ecstacy, goodness, etc. All you want is what reality fundamentally is, you just want what it actually is.

July 2022 aka: The month Leo popped his Instagram cherry ? • Why Supermarkets Sell Flowers (Essay) • Problems With Our Information Ecology (Essay) • Nu Pogodi (note) • Old-School Self-Help (Essay) • AI Fractal Music Video • Memetic Tribes & Culture War 2.0 (note) • Scientifically Verifiable? ? • How To Develop Work Ethic (note) • Science vs Reality ? • Absolute Presence = Immortality (Essay) • Higher States Of Consciousness (Essay) • A Warning About Solipsism (Essay) *YOUR IDEAS OF SOLIPSISM ARE NOT GOD-REALIZATION!* • Nonduality/Idealism Is NOT God-Realization (Essay) • Ignorance Is Bliss ? • Strange Loop Cat (Essay) • Carnivàle (note) • Crazy Beautiful (note) • Absolute Infinity • God Is Love • When You Finally Realize God Is Love • Helicopters Are Awesome! • Vladimir Vysotsky (Essay) • The Most Beautiful Game Of All Time (note) • The Greatest 90's Song (note) • Brad Pitt's Greatest Role • Bomberman '94 TurboGrafx-16 • The Lost Spires (Essay) • Metaphysical Rebirth • Homer Discovers The 3rd Dimension (Note) • Scorn Gameplay Demo (note) • Insights Into Computing & Managing People (note) Some talented artists Leo is following on Instagram ?: • holosomnia • beloved__world_ • infinit.visuals • ig_artgalleryy • colorfull.wrlds • annibalesiconolfi

Very nice. Is it all one poem? Starting as being ‘arraigned by the dark Power that hates all bliss’ and ending as ‘rapt in the heart-beats of God’s ecstasy’ seems appropriate. I particularly like the way the earlier poems describe finding oneself entrenched in the machinations of illusion; it reminds me of the mortification and the Black Sun of the alchemical process. Of course. I have no illusions about what is possible or realistic today; we have to face the realities of our situation. If even in Aristotle's day, prior to the ready availability of sensual delights and overstimulation of every kind, it was true that 'the majority of men are evidently quite slavish in their tastes, preferring a life suitable to beasts,’ how much more true must this be today? The difference in our case is that Western society has ceased to serve any other purpose than catering to the tastes of these “slavish beasts". Those who are so mired in externality and the greed for mere experience, living only for the intoxication of the senses, will of course have a frivolous and sacrilegious attitude towards the sacred. There can be no going back, though. In what Hesiod described as the Heroic Age, situated between the Bronze and the Iron Age, there was the possibility of a temporary restoration of the primordial Golden Age. In the Iron Age, however, there can be no restoration: the only way out is through the dark night; excluding of course the realisation that it is all imaginary anyway. I’m sure that will all sound like a lot of made up nonsense to you. Never mind… Nietzsche has a wonderful insight in this regard: I love the sentence: 'Nothing avails: one must go forward — step by step further into decadence (that is my definition of modern "progress")'! I didn’t mean to imply that Nothingness is actually dark. It is often symbolically represented as such, however, because anything that you positively ascribe to it is false; any ascription is a limitation, and we are talking about that which is beyond limitation. Ah, yes. I actually couldn’t remember where I had heard those funny designations. It must have been when I was reading about him. I’m only really familiar with him through the references of a rather peculiar English occultist called Kenneth Grant. Some of his art seems nice though; that being said, the man he has dubbed “Carl Junk” was undoubtedly a better artist!

OKay finally have watched the entire video! Great episode Fav line "Each sparkle, ten thousand lives extinguished." and "Raindrops hit your face in slow motion. Each droplet, a unique bubble universe unto itself, filled with trillions of inhabitants all oblivious as to why their universe came crashing to an end. You think to yourself, “So this is how a universe ends.” Each droplet is filled with the collective consciousness of all the sentient entities inhabiting it. As a droplet hits your face it transfers the collective wisdom of a thousand ancient civilizations directly into your mind. Their memories, their struggles, their dreams, their insights — all integrate smoothly into your psyche. You stand there, showered by an immense cosmic intelligence. It feels like bathing in divine light. Its sentience and beauty sends waves of bliss radiating through your body"

It seems his individualism was related to how crowds allow the shadow to run wild without self-examination. His anti-communist beliefs were definitely based on this. He had a unique understanding of the human mind-workings, so he saw himself above the others in a sense, which caused him to possibly denigrate collectivism. Of course his experience showed him how other people project their shadows to enemy crowds, while becoming complacent in the crowd they become subsumed in and which they assimilate all their contents to. The deceptions of the crowd become the obscurities of the shadow individually, so the only way for the individual to unravel itself is introspectively and not by becoming a victim of rabble-rousing and group ideologies. But then, none of that refutes the fact that gaining a view of reality with more scope, with a greater collection of information and perspectives, is more in line with the highest Truth. Of course this should integrate both individualistic freedom and self-definition as well as collective well-being concerns, though instinctually I'm biased toward being an individual, since I too don't like or find little in common with the world; yet the development, which I might characterize as upward into a luminous bliss and heavenliness, is important: it's found first in exceptional individuals, secondly it has to happen in the exterior world in the form of developments or even the defamed progress and all that's going on. The problem is that this has to occur in a complex rather than a simple grouping of structures. If we imagine God as a pure bright white light, a singularity, then of course that is infinitely, in a way, simple because of its unfathomably unified nature of its singular principle, but it's requiring of a structure in the human experiencer that is complex infinitely (simplicity is formlessness; complexity is the capability of that formlessness to embed itself in an infinite amount of forms spatially and temporally since it is, not restricted to a single form, compatible with them all in the rays of light that can rain down from a sunlike divinity). So "pure formless transcendence" or an escape from the dream is difficult. I've been exploring the dream-dreamlessness duality, where there's a world of infinite light and Everythingness and awake colors permeated by an eternal and permanent deep dreamlessness that both transcends and is unified with it. How would a society "organise around . . . God" if it's to be entirely transcendent, entirely dreamless. The shift from material to immaterial, with hoping that can be possible, will have to deal with the nature of deep dreamless sleep, possibly when technological focuses on consciousness delve into exploration of what is outside conventional grounds of ontology. Until then there has to be some dialectical phrasing, if in terms of complete materiality. It does in postmodern variants cause pathology if it claims the goal has already been reached, if it claims "the end of history" has already been made real, hence destroying the dialectical functionality, contradicting itself, and nullifying all sense. The eternal recurrence is the most worthwhile thing he ever detected in his walking sprees through nature, and it has something to do with how sunlight affects the earth, how leaves fall in motions that make too much sense, in how the sky is an abyss that can hold so much information under it, the Emptiness that is identical with the luminousness of the Everythingness, all motions and sunsets impermanent and fleeting and eternally permanent together in the unity/multiplicity.

Values Assessment Pass #5 This one was a grind to complete. Also the heart of the whole thing so far. So in the spirit of getting into the mud and just doing it, here are the results. The assignment: Find out what each of these words mean, specifically for you. Create a personal definition for each word. Keep it concise and hone it down to 15-20 words. There are 3 questions to get clarity on this: 1. What exactly does this mean to me? 2. What would it look like tangibly? 3. How would I know if I embody this value? --------- 1. Integrity / Honesty A. What exactly does this mean to me? My word matches reality. What I say is so is so, and what I say will be done will be done. B. What would it look like tangibly? People can count on me doing what I say I'm going to do. If I say I'm going to pay you XX by XX, it will be done. If I say XYZ happened, you can count on that being what happened to the best of my ability to put it into language accurately. C.. How would I know if I embody this value? I have peace of mind, knowing there is nothing to hide and no messes caused by me not telling the truth, or not following through with what I said I would do. People take me for my word without question. I am hyper aware whenever I'm speaking, checking to make sure it's true, and if it's a promise, that I immediately put in place what I need to perform as promised. 2. Personal Growth A. What exactly does this mean to me? I am always expanding who it is possible for me to be and what it is possible for me to do. B. What would it look like tangibly? Reading books, watching videos, and attending seminars on personal development, and giving my best. Helping others in their personal development in personal relationships and offering workshops, courses, retreats, videos, writings. C. How would I know if I embody this value? Getting results related to my life purpose such as holding successful workshops and retreats. 3. Health & Vitality A. What exactly does this mean to me? The physiological and energetic capability to fully participate in an active life. B. What would it look like tangibly? Waking up with the mental clarity and energy to immediately meditate and practice Yoga, and have that energy and aliveness last until I fall asleep at night, every day, with no chronic illness. C. How would I know if I embody this value? All of my bloodwork, body weight, body fat stats are within normal range, I can hike or play tennis for an hour without becoming very fatigued, and I can go through most days doing productive work without needing breaks and rests. 4. Responsibility A. What exactly does this mean to me? A place to stand from which all aspects of reality are self-created. What I used to take as "being responsible" is doing what is required or expected by others given my circumstances. Paying taxes, completing assignments, not taking unnecessary risks. I don't necessarily value this version of responsibility anymore. B. What would it look like tangibly? When anything unwanted occurs, rather than blame others or circumstances, I tell the people impacted that I am responsible and take actions to clean up the situation. For example, a kid gets hurt while playing at my house. Regardless of the circumstances, I internally take responsibility and take steps to handle it in the best interests of the kid and his family. It rains on our picnic. I am the one who has the power to take responsibility and make the best out of the situation, and have a conversation to restore integrity with anyone who was impacted by it. C. How would I know if I embody this value to it's highest form in my life? I see all of the showing as my own creation, even getting cut off in traffic, and therefore experience a feeling of love at all times. Something happens like getting cut off or someone doing something unethical in a business deal with me, I allow for it and am able to swiftly take actions to deal with it. 5. Intimate Relationships (Merged with Family) A. What exactly does this mean to me? Having people very close to me and sharing a mutual love and affinity. B. What would it look like tangibly? Having daily interactions with my wife, kids, and good friends as well as weekly interactions with my parents and siblings, where we are sharing our lives with each other, telling inside jokes and laughing together, having meals and activities together, doing projects together, and in the case of my wife, hugs, kisses, massages, sex, etc. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? I'm hugging and laughing with people at least a few times every day (I would consider my current situation very fulfilling of this value). 6. Leadership A. What exactly does this mean to me? Having an inspiring vision for the future concerning other people, and taking responsibility for the choices and actions in actualizing that vision. B. What would it look like tangibly? Creating a clear vision and business plan for my retreat center and starting to build towards it, having conversations with friends and family about it, creating the team, registering guests, and leading the practices and conversations among staff and participants during the retreats. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? I own a retreat center, with a staff of people making it work, and regular retreats happening in which I get to lead people towards fulfilling their purposes in joining the retreat. 7. Consciousness (Merged with Clarity) A. What exactly does this mean to me? Expanding the scope and accuracy of awareness of everything it's possible to be aware of, including awareness. B. What would it look like tangibly? There may be no objective tangible thing to see here. Subjectively, I experience more subtle and more accurate awareness of the 5 senses, clearer awareness of thoughts and emotions, as well as the ability to have perceptions beyond the standard physical senses, and most notably, a deepening of the awareness of awareness itself. I suppose that from an outsider's view, I notice things in tangible reality that most other people don't, and carry myself with a joy and lightness, a presence of being that comes with being deeply conscious. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? I am able to flow between awareness of deep nothing and everything at will, as well as have accurate awareness of reality both within and outside physical sense perception, such as remote viewing and interaction with beings in higher realms. Rooted in awareness of awareness, I walk through life in the world but not of it, filled with a profound bliss and joy of simply being (this is something like my current state of being, but I see space to move much more deeply into it). 8. Freedom A. What exactly does this mean to me? Having the largest possible opportunity set for being and action in any given moment. B. What would it look like tangibly? Psychologically, it means being free from limitations of beliefs and limiting thought patterns. Physically, it's being in good enough health and fitness to be able to participate in an active life fully. Practically, it means living in an area in the world where law enforcement is practical and not overbearing, there is a sound monetary system and ownership rights. At the being level, it means not being tied to a particular identity or even a particular locus for perception. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? With freedom, a balance needs to be struck. Giving myself total freedom to eat whatever I want leads to getting fat and a loss of freedom of physical movement. Living in a society with no rules leads to a loss of freedom to participate within the safety the rules provide. So there is freedom to choose my limitations... that would be it for me. When I have an awareness that any limitations on my being and acting are consciously chosen by me. 9. Fun & Humor A. What exactly does this mean to me? Noticing the absolute absurdity of reality, making light of and enjoying the situation. B. What would it look like tangibly? Deep, heartfelt laughter for everyone around me. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? My shoulders are relaxed. I'm smiling. I'm laughing. People around me feel free to make jokes about anything. At least once a month, I laugh so hard it hurts. 10. Intelligence (Merged with Organization, Simplicity, and Elegance) A. What exactly does this mean to me? A sense of logical order, deep understanding, and simple elegance in the design of all things. B. What would it look like tangibly? Physical and digital spaces are impeccably organized, so that anyone can look at it and understand how to find things and see the logic of how it was ordered. There is nothing superfluous - everything has a purpose. Things and spaces under my responsibility are designed with quality and well-suited to fulfill their purpose, for example anyone can attend a workshop I designed and appreciate the effectiveness of how it was designed and sequenced for maximum effectiveness. C. How would I know if I embody this value in its highest form in my life? There is a beauty and simplicity, an elegance to all of my possessions and spaces, my appearance, my speech, and my way of being.

There is an order and harmony to the universe. The universe is structured and is clearly leading somewhere in a way that is not 50/50 but rather has specific inclinations, like a flower vine growing toward sunlight. We have all the minerals and rocks of the world, then all the plants and lesser organisms of the world, and then human beings themselves, which are the most complex and conscious structures yet. It seems we're leading somewhere, getting pulled into a divine sunlight which might destroy our selves or recreate them in a universal bliss and individual luminescence. The Daniel M. Ingram model of meditation has stages that happen cyclically, and the dark night of the soul is one of them. So it's not necessarily just a bridge that you cross to reach the light a single time, but an event as a pattern that recurs also with the light as something that recurs.

+ 1 hour bliss (Being - Thank you - 2 Hour Timer) (Rare candy app: nurse) (1 hour total) …………… Notes: since I can’t meditate like I used to I’m going to use the ho'oponopono prayer, broken down, as a crutch. As well as other Matt Kahn affirmations. I can’t see anything wrong with crutches if they help with entering.

I'm going to try the practice of no condemnation. Seeing everyone as sinless Imagine entire world is not guilty of anything U may find your own release from judgement in that moment That's where love and bliss are If u want to experience that bliss again u'll have to come to this place of no condemnation

Good for you. How many needles did it take up your ass to feel the bliss.