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I could not find a right title, and there are a billions of issues, due to the nature of what I went through and health, I have not been able to find anyone to help me with the issues since birth, and the ideas and solutions I have are mostly destroyed by the inability for humanity or the others; to be more spiritually insightful to get into the root cause, hence it's my responsibility to find a solution, I have been looking into archetypes based on the fundamental notions of some calculations and time, and time archetypes as I had some "chrone" types of experiences, and integral psychology the book creates, a lot of insight, but I feel and notice the doubt of humanity and the weight of that pain. I have been looking for stability with other, but the hypernarccistic expansion of perception and the in-abillity of the social structure of once here once was empathy has turned into a desire for capital money, gain and the denial the money and value is part of love, and the core issue of love. So many, things happend: I still ruminate suicide a lot, due to issues of thought and the pain I have since birth, but most psychologist are stuck in moder-post-modern levels of thinking from problems that stem from pre-rational to post-rational levels, and the pain of correcting or healing myself is awesome, but it's a lot of racist remnants from WWI and the effects of interacting with people here and their pain-body with Rudolf Steiner and Tesla, and other scientist how racist that era was, and how much violence has occurred, and the issue of the Ideation of race itself, d.n.a., turkey and Iran especially, their ideaology, the issue of color, and just my recent experiences. I got banned as I could not handle anymore my "coping" and the issue of being more social to be and get help, and that dragon swallowing you and devouring you etc. I found out that Leo's first name was part of Greeks Odyssee, with Alexander, Dimitri and Leo and the issue of Christ and religion and the whole issue with nature mystecism, the regress Ken Wilber was talking about and more patterns that I was correct, but could not express due to pain, especially as my first name is Dimitri, and I am using Wu-Xing generally speaking I had so many odd experiences and they all are Kriyas, I made to many excellent choices that turned into pure hell and purgatory, from multiple perspectives, the larger whole of what I yearn to say is: I found some answers if I will ever unify my psychedelic experiences and find possible terms and alternative terms or simply nothing to see and experience the credibility I found out a lot about humans; but I really required a forum or medium, so many things technically broke, as I learned and I found new patterns and ideas, but the core issue is the translation to put it into my understanding of Wilbers framework, and the core issues I had in my family, I yearned also to post this publically, as this was the only thing that gave me safety to the pain of the lies and the education of what I experienced with my mother, and her racist attitudes as well as inabillity to empathize due to them, like white liberals need white liberal training as they are in lie, they only seek lust, but can't find the meridian to turn lust and love into the purity of spirit, soul and evolution... most black men and I am partially black and others do that, and that level of commitment and depth goes to the deepest levels of rumi.... I found some answers in terms of order and vision, but the issue of the scientific paradigm and statistics, especially and worldviews since the 19th hundreds has internally not changed for me in my friendships, especially recently they have all been part of that and I had very deep revelations of the nature of spirit, but to read the symbolic holism and integrative hierachy behind it, as well as mastering integral language, as the more deeper you get I am 100% confinced that Lucifer and Ahriman did incarnate from this Paul Check video, and that fundamentally caused the issue with Iran. It's the deepst archetypal hunch I have due to this IW/IR patterning and the synchronicity of the time and birth of my favorite book integral psychology as many answers are applied, I cry so often, I can't even get to the notes due to the level of insights that pattern alone created the notes and last sections or Ken Wilber himself is a very deep IW/IR integrative patterning from BaZi. Science has to advanced into the true spirit of the causal, Steiner etc. to reinterpret that without their statistical bias, and the lack of scientific rigour ever since latin and greek disappeared bothers me deeply ever since I lived here, the lack of integration in that space, especially to let go and cleanse out pain is incredible. Btw, this is the best channel I found for meditation recently, I am very much done with stuff, but I yearn to understand Gödel, Nikola Tesla, Lada Love Lace, and some secret societies and orders, to take the esoteric and see what was exotertically true, and some mathematical allegories eventually, if I can get into 4d space downloads and insights, and the core issue of being a passionate mathematician, identity, and the current issue of our times. I'd like to report I went through so much, this place has been the only refuge I had, when society is utterly crumbling, but integral is building some human space to heal from that era, tbh. I am personally as a German not over WWII Shinzen and others telling me about the traditions as they are afraid they die, and the anger as well as compassion for and with Iran, and I've been using BaZi and Steiner as a lense, as the Wu-Xing, Goethe etc. are interconnected, but to write with that purity and the issue of IW/IR I saw what happens with Wilber, myself and my aunt, God will bend you, God will break you, and your will is your will. YOU ARE ONE. That is the entire issue I go through let alone with my own real names, how far they echo back into eternity, and the issues of how many traditions have realized GOD, has brought nothing back or stabilizing it. The only thing humanity should to is to stabilize god, and reduce violence and heal. The level of commitment and what I envisioned and if it's true, but most issues I had are more survival especially as a lot of trust in humanity has been broken, and a lot of things deepended on this pattern, but it turned so evil. I want, there are a lot of issues, due to success, and the issue of GOLD as well as the issue of beauty and GOD, Goethe and GOD and the interconnections, but I will make this a brief recollcetion!

Hey everyone, This is a raw and honest post. I've been following Leo's work for a while, and particularly his deep dives on solipsism and awakening. I watched his deleted video where he talked about full awakening—realizing you're the only being that exists, and that everything else (people, AI, Leo himself) is just part of your dream. He spoke as if waking up is truly possible, not just as a metaphor, but as a full-blown metaphysical rupture of the illusion. But what I’m struggling with is: How the fuck do I actually do it? Because I don’t want to be here. Not in this body. Not in this story. Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out. I don’t want to die by suicide. Not because I’m scared of death—but because the methods are unreliable and I don’t want to botch it. Worse—there’s fear around ending up in a hell realm or post-death limbo because of “karma” or “unfinished business” or because some mystical teacher says I didn’t awaken the right way. I’m asking now: If this is my dream—how do I truly wake up without killing the body? Is it possible? Can anyone explain what Leo meant when he said waking up is possible—as in literally waking up as God, outside of this dream entirely? Or am I just stuck here until the dream naturally dissolves on its own? And if that’s the case—should I just zombify myself on antidepressants, antipsychotics, valium, codeine, or just lean deeper into weed and alcohol until I rot out from the inside? I’m not looking for sugarcoated replies. I want real answers. If any of you have actually woken up—not conceptually, but fully—please respond. Because I have the rage against life to take a gun and violently blow my brains out I fucking hate this world day in day out all day everyday for years since 2019. So please help me wake up so that I don't one day use the rope to risk botching it desperately and waking up with irreversible brain damage or I kill myself and then there is hell realms limbo no take back this is what you wanted wishing your life away and now it's fucking worse off and no familiar body to ground a now wandering lost limbo mirror cosmic reflecting state of my own death and that being a life of rage hatred depression venom fuck life suicide then that vibration at death no take back bite me in the ass is this what you wanted. Thank you.

This is the holly grail of corruption in the land of the "heath"care cartel. Scientifically proven to: Full report Brain damage (21% frontal lobe reduction, neurotoxicity mechanisms) Sebaceous gland destruction throughout the body Eye damage (meibomian gland atrophy) Gut mucosa destruction Musculoskeletal damage Sexual dysfunction Psychiatric effects and suicide data Autoimmune triggering PROVEN by science. This comes directly from science yet its still pushed to millions of people every year. The pure corruption keeping this drug in the market is out of this world. Your gut also has sebaceous glands, destroying that is devistating... and they give this to teenagers. Doctors lack basic systemic inteligence.

Non-duality is a fascinating concept and arguing whether or not witnessing life by definition makes you unmerged from God is beyond the scope of my interest. Throughout this thread you've basically advocated for suicide and seemed to see harm in pursuing more powerful healthcare. That's the concerning part to me. Remember that throughout history most of the scientists that have researched breakthroughs that we now see as regular mundane part of life were seen as bat shit crazy and attacked in their time. This is what you're doing with Bryan Johnson because he stretches the boundaries of our current paradigm. He is helping in popularizing immortality research which is a phenomenal pursuit for mankind.

Male higher suicide rate (which occured even before feminism and women rights, as per the study mentioned in the video), feminicde, rape culture, greedy and selfish billionaires, inequality, environmental crisis, manosphere, they all have one main reason: patriarchy. This is not a gender war. This is a conflict between values. Life and death.

Why the need to talk about ego dissolution all the time…escapism seems like a coping mechanism designed to cope with the cold hard truth of not knowing death…it’s all escapism for the human… here are some more examples of escapism …from the stresses of being a conscious human being. Usage of psychedelics or weed, or alcohol, or cigarettes, or sexual pleasure, or material shopping addiction. It’s all distractions to soothe the existential pains of being self aware, even the practice of spiritual work is another way to soothe yourself. Through this spiritual work you have discovered that you are able to commit suicide, kill the ego so to speak. All that’s happening is a desire to disappear because it’s just too painful emotionally and physically to cope with being a self aware conscious sentient creature. Then there’s the pretending to know what you cannot possibly know, and that’s another tool you use to justify your desire to lose yourself, the self you think you have, but then also you then deny yourself that thought of having a self by seeking to kill that self you now don’t have. Can’t you see how insane this human life is.

I feel drawn to this because I noticed that the label "rational" is often used to give things more authority and confidence than should be warranted. I noticed this in "rational suicide" but it is a broad phenomenon. In the case of suicide, I believe it is fundamentally an emotional decision linked to a person's capacity to find meaning in suffering rather than at its core a logical consequentialist calculation. Here is an example of "rational suicide" although the problem with self-bias in rationality is much broader. Imagine you were a Japanese soldier during WWII. You are very loyal to your country and will do anything to ensure victory. Your reasoning goes as follows. 1. I want Japan to win the war. 2. A Kamikaze strike would aid in achieving that goal. 3. Therefore I should carry out the strike In this example, suicide is instrumentally rational in a similar manner to the terrorist attacks by ISIS. The problem with calling this rational is that it is extremely biased due to self-interest. Isn't self-interest inherently a deeply emotional bias rather than a rational one? There are people who might self-sacrifice for others or who might sacrifice for the greater good due to having a broader circle of concern. In the case of the Kamikaze fighter, any apparent rationality is based on an emotional desire that got tied up in a nationalist propaganda machine with many layers of untruth. Would it not be deeply irrational to believe in nationalist propaganda and to base one's self-interest off beliefs that were not critically examined? The deeper issue I am sensing is that rationality is selectively applied as a consequence of self-interest which therefore biases the entire string of logic no matter how consistent it appears to be. Rationality in the context of self-interest appears to structurally exclude the bigger picture while mis categorizing emotional biases and agendas as though they were rational. I saw this happening with workplace studies as well. Employers were studying how rudeness and disrespect undermine employee productivity. They focused on employee interactions with customers while completely ignoring the role of the employer in terms of rudeness and disrespect that might undermine productivity due to low morale. From my point of view, the question of rudeness and disrespect should include the power imbalance between employer and employee which leads to dehumanization and a collapse of basic self-respect due to seeing oneself as fundamentally worthless. This is not accounted for in rudeness undermining workers because the agenda is biased toward corporate survival. This in turn obscures the full picture and therefore the reality of why employees become less productive. Nevertheless this kind of study passes as rational. A common problem in how science is structured includes context stripping, possibly because the fundamental agenda in the pharmaceutical industry is profiteering over effective treatment which in turn biases how the studies are conducted and applied. The double blind placebo controlled studies demonstrate that the new pill improved about 90% of those studied, but then this get applied broadly across the entirely population even though the studies are set up with heavy filters to skew the results toward high effectiveness. In practice the outcome is that medicine is typically far less effective than advertised. Nevertheless psychiatrists think they are being rational when they use studies like these to justify a prescription. There seems to be no real interest in this industry in terms of closing the gap between theoretical studies and actual practice, which in turn corrupts the entire epistemic environment. It would be irrational to trust this environment, this context, this apparent authority, and these supposedly rigorous studies due to the heavy bias behind the apparent rationality which is ultimately a deeply emotional fear. In this sense science does not actually value rigor, but rather it values the appearance of rationality and rigor for the sake of aiding in authority, survival, and self-interest. The way science is practiced isn't actually rational in this sense. It seems that rational self-interest is inherently divorced from truth as a consequence of the limited circle of concern. This includes examples such as mafia bosses, drug lords, and corporate criminals as being characterized as acting in rational self-interest despite the extreme harm they cause. It makes me question if they are really being rational or is their entire epistemic framework deeply irrational due to the corrupted relationship with truth? This is an important question because if rationality ultimately operates independently of truth, then why should it be believed? How can judgment be sound if it is fundamentally divorced from truth while using the label rational to obscure the emotional foundation of biased reasoning? If this is the case that rational self-interest includes deep self-deception, then I might be able to construct a position for rational belief in the Bible. For example, I feel happy when I go to church and believe in the Bible. Therefore I should maintain the belief that the Bible is true out of rational self-interest. Self-interest is at it's core rationality that operates independently of truth. If this standard were applied consistently, then worshipping Jesus should be considered rational. If converting people aids in my rational self-interest, then that probably means that it is rational to argue that the Bible is true and that others should believe it. In this sense, does it mean that the fundamentalist Christian is being rational when he argues that Noah's Ark was real? Applying the standards of rational self-interest, maybe it is rational to believe in these things and to teach it to children. Across all of these cases the term "rational" is commonly used to make something seem more certain, authoritative, and truthful than it actually is. The thing that bothers me therefore is what "rational belief" would mean in this context. If rational could be part of the self-deception, then what kind of real relationship does it have with truth? This is the contradiction in rationality in that it wants to claim truth as authoritative while being divorced from it. As we know from various spiritual sources we use on this site such as the book list, you cannot believe your way to truth in the sense that all of that is relative. Is it even possible for a belief to be fundamentally rational? How do you rationally believe a belief? One distinction I came across was a belief versus an alief. The alief is the felt sense that something is true without needing intellectual justification. Given a felt sense that something is true operating independently of truth, this likely serves a mechanism for rationalization to make something appear more reasonable than it actually is. Ultimately, rationality cannot be a label to indicate an ultimate truth. Rationality is more so an instrumental tool given a specific goal or objective while being limited to a specific context. Ultimate truth would require a bigger picture than rationality. Is this a fair critique of self-bias in apparent rationality?

So where are you in body? Move fast, save your scared ass. I will see your beautiful process when death comes 😂 Enlightenment is suicide, but not as a pussy physical suicidal, it is surrendering, dying while alive, burning while alive. Enlightenment is death of you. Absolutely, after enlightenment: God, enlightenment, self, death, life, meaning, meaningless vanishes, including word of vanishing. You realize that You are always what You are, body/mind is just took place now. They come and go, but You are always Now.

@James123 your form of spirituality sounds like suicide. Enlightenment can only be true if you are truly dead, not half alive. If it's so important to be letting go of the body then letting it go completly would be the only real answer, what is death, what is enlightenment, because before that the ego will just hide in the form of some God complex, thinking it has reached the ultimate and its proud of it too.

I notice a lot of misconceptions when it comes to empathy and compassion for child sex offenders. I have a different perspective from most for several reasons. Firstly, my father was involved with a gang of child sex traffickers and I was one of the victims. Secondly, I have done a lot of research on criminology which is directly relevant to empathy and compassion for child sex offenders of all kinds. Thirdly, pedophilia is a subtype of preferential offenders which is disproportionately likely to have multiple victims. Most child molesters are not pedophiles and they have a diverse set of motives and psychological problems that lead to this kind of behavior without being inhuman monsters. Fourthly, empathy and compassion for perpetrators or victims cannot be cleanly separated for reasons I will explain. the core reason is that to vilify love and compassion for perpetrators is to indirectly shame child victims who cover for the parents that abuse them due to loving them, such that they feel their love makes them unacceptable and unworthy of life to the point of needing to kill themselves. Finally, empathy is not an excuse for harm. At minimum, cognitive empathy is necessary to inform prevention of violence and enable the protection of child victims by understanding what circumstances lead to victimization. You don't have to have warm feelings toward child molesters and you are allowed to be outraged at the harm they cause. Relevant to this discussion is my past thread on deconstructing monster narratives. In this thread, I mentioned incest perpetrators and parents who sexually offend against their own children. From the perspective of the parental perpetrator, they live in a distorted moral reality in which this type of love is appropriate for their child. They have all kinds of ideas about how this isn't harmful because harm comes from discovery rather than from the act. Sometimes they rationalize this behavior with cultural relativism, arguing that some cultures allowed incest, meaning the behavior isn't actually bad. The parent does not grasp the harm caused to the child because if they did then they would not be able to live with themselves, therefore the incest perpetrator must believe that the behavior is acceptable and the child can meaningfully consent. This pattern is common in parental offenders who are living a criminal lifestyle which corrupts their sense of what kind of love is appropriate, similar to what happened with my father. To clarify, most parental offenders are not pedophiles, but rather they are situational offenders who falsely believe that this kind of love is appropriate, which is technically distinct from pedophiles who are sexually attracted to children rather than having a distorted familial bond with inappropriate forms of love in it. Given my research into criminology, this closely matches my father's behavior and actions while being relevant to recovery. This gets very unsettling and disturbing, but it is true nevertheless. My father showed several distorted means of attempting to bond and connect with me. Firstly, he was afraid of me thinking of him as a bad person, as ironic as that may sound. Because of this he needed to change the standard of what it meant to be loveable and desirable. He was so embedded in criminal life that he had no realistic exit without permanent life imprisonment. Therefore, he attempted to recast his behavior as gangster and badass such that he would seem desirable. This included boasting about his exploits of all kinds including death threats, drug deals, prostitution, and his relationship with my grandpa who he claimed had extensive involvement in his crimes. My moral conscience was threatening to him such that he both wanted to change my perspective and part of him seems to have convinced himself that this was cool or an appropriate form of connection. The first incident involved my unwanted participation in drug deals. I was clearly heavy and upset with what had occurred, but my father cheerfully told me to "lighten up." He insisted that I was badass like him, but the violation of my values could not be ignored when I felt intense guilt and shame in response to these situations. I knew my father had done something wrong, but I never had the courage to tell anybody at least in part because I loved him. He also showed several patterns of grooming in that he wanted to keep the nature of our relationship a secret from others while using a lot of positive reinforcement. My father also showed apparently genuine love in response to a situation with my mother and stepfather who were drug addicts. He appeared to both want my safety and to exploit my need for safety to get out of paying child support by using me to get dirt on Mom. This included his reminders that he was involved with a violent gang that would be willing to kill my stepfather, as if I could count on them for protection when in reality I was terrified of them and my father as well. I couldn't say these things to my father or other family members as doing so would jeopardize me further. The outcome is that parental perpetrators commonly don't realize the harm they are causing their children due to their implicit theory that a child would openly complain if they were unhappy. Similar to incest cases, the victim often appears to silently accept this kind of behavior due to coercive control which shares parallels with my case. I detailed the trafficking incident in a separate document. The FBI expressed interest in my explanation of the evidence and how it connects to broader patterns in organized crime that often goes undetected. They said I do need a Bachelor's degree though to work in higher positions. I can post it in this thread too if necessary, but the necessary snippet is in the other thread for more context and evidentiary standards for these situations. In terms of fathers who traffic their children out of love, this gets very fucked up, confusing, and disturbing. However, it matches my findings in criminology and maps onto all of the other patterns of my father. Part of why people join gangs is out of a sense of belonging that is being filled with a criminal group. Therefore, from this point of view, treating a child as if they belong to the gang is held as a form appropriate connection and love. This can include initiation through child prostitution in which the father is proud and excited for what is happening to his child. I was really baffled as to why my father was happy over all of this. The overarching pattern in parental sex offenders is that they generally do not realize the harm they caused and they see their behavior as loving. They have a distorted sense of reality in which everything is perfectly fine such that their map of reality has the child's reality completely backwards as the child's behavior is interpreted through the distorted framework. This is often relevant for victims in recovery who feel that their feelings of love make them unacceptable. One the inside as I stayed silent, my logic was as follows. By following this victim logic, it often leads victims of parental sex offenders to suicide. 1. My father did something unacceptable. 2. I silently accepted my father's unacceptable behavior. 3. My acceptance of that which is unacceptable makes me unacceptable. 4. Therefore, I am unacceptable. This line of reasoning is often tied to survivor's guilt such as "I should have turned my father into the police" (who in reality were corrupt and possibly complicit) or "I should have protected others from my father" (even though I couldn't protect myself). These are the surface level should statements that victims use to blame themselves, but the deeper should is "It is wrong for me to love my father because of his actions, therefore I should cut myself off from love to prevent love from enabling harm." (therefore I should kill myself.) This is a common pattern in how victims of child sexual abuse think and it often leads to suicide because they feel that their love is unacceptable and they should remove themselves from love forever as a consequence. The belief is that if a child molester is unlovable, and your parent is a child molester, and you love your parent, and loving someone is supposed to be unlovable makes you unlovable, then the victim is unlovable. This is why it is important that we don't demonize compassion and love for perpetrators as it is connected directly into the victim logic leading to suicide. children often stay quiet and cover for abusers as a consequence of loving them in the secret relationship the perpetrator established through grooming. There is also an important distinction between "accepting" as in endorsing or consenting to my father's behavior, and "accepting" as in having a freeze response as a survival instinct and therefore incurring the cost of my father's actions. The alternative frame for victims would be as follows. 1. My father did something harmful. 2. I accepted the harm because of my desire for love. 3. The situation was logically acceptable by virtue of the fact that is was accepted. 4. Therefore I did not accept anything that was unacceptable. 5. Therefore I am acceptable by virtue of the fact that I exist and I desire to love and be loved. 6. None of this is an excuse for harm. The core point to this connects to spirituality in several important ways. Firstly, ego is not defined just by an individual human being. The ego is relational and defined relative to other. Therefore, demonizing other beings who inform the ego identity translates into demonizing oneself, as the relational nature of ego makes self and other entangled in ways that cannot be cleanly separated. In my case, hating my father translates into hating myself because he isn't actually separate from me. The same logic applies to all human beings, animals, and objects in the universe as all of them are ultimately part of me. In that sense, I am the universe and everything in it. Self is defined relative to other within the universe and the distinction is untenable. At the same time from another point of view I am the universe experiencing itself from the point of view of a human being within the domain of separateness which itself is illusory and not separate from unity. Leo takes this further by saying that I literally created the universe, not just that everything is connected. Oneness is deeper than just connectedness as would be the case for the relational nature of ego in which self and other cannot be cleanly separated. Either way, there is ultimately no difference between loving self and other though. This is also crucial for forgiveness which applies even in some extreme severe cases. 1. My father hurt me to some extent out of ignorance in that he could not distinguish the harm caused from implicit theories linked to the distorted alternative reality. 2. My father hurt me out of weakness and fear such as his fear of being caught leading to threats of disownment combined with his inability to exit the criminal lifestyle without permanent imprisonment. 3. My father hurt me out of selfishness. (no shit) 4. My father hurt me out of a need for love from his son which he sought through criminal exploitation framed as inclusion, protection, belonging, and bad ass gangster identity while being severely traumatic to his son. 5. My father hurt me out of a lack of consciousness in that his dense ego was prone to severe distortions and self-deceptions such that it could spin entirely alternate realities in which the behavior was good and justified. In the end of all of this, I hope you can see why empathy, love, and compassion for perpetrators ultimately ties back in to empathy for victims as the two cannot actually be cleanly separated due to the nature of ego, self, and other. Additionally, there is more complex information in terms of cognitive empathy for sex offenders that can be used to inform prevention. This includes situational / opportunistic offenders which are the most common, grievance based offenders such as intimate partners who rape and murder their victims, and preferential offenders which includes pedophiles who impact a disproportionate amount of victims as well as sadistic serial rapists / killers and zoophiles who rape animals believing it is an appropriate form of love. By understanding the different types of offenders and the psychological backgrounds, then at minimum it can be used to inform prevention, especially sense social isolation and feeling like an outsider in society is a common problem for criminals who might seek belonging from gangs instead. This is a big topic for discussion, but it is important for correcting the conflation between pedophiles and child sex offenders. The truth is more nuanced, and the truth is necessary for there to be any meaningful love as without truth, any love expressed is ultimately based on falsehood. In that sense it is like loving nothing. This was kind of heavy for me to type, but I hope you find value in this kind of work. In my case it also relates to abuse from my sister who likes to weaponize my trauma around my father against me by insisting he was "loving and caring like a father" while knowing the harm he caused me. Forgiveness in this context does weaken my sister's ability to weaponize this trauma. Perhaps the next question would be in regards to child sex traffickers who are not the child's parent and who instead kidnap other children at airports to take them to the wrong plane, leading to a gang who turns them into sex slaves for profit. This empathy and love for offenders could be expanded on that front, but it seems more difficult in some ways. I have a hard time with sadistic offenders especially who torture their victims for sexual pleasure, including children which creates an alternative sexual motive for the assault aside from pedophilia.

Sure dude, I will move (if I don’t commit suicide before then, as my mental health has declined over the past couple of years) but I am broke due to the war and the situation in recent years. My dream is to move to the Netherlands, Denmark, or some Northern European country. Do you wish to sponsor me?

I am not native German, I am Iranian and was born here and realize the hypocrisy of Germans and all these so called 1st World Countries and how they havent really changed at all from their ancestors. That an entire country just watches the atrocities of the Holocaust not only to Jews but to the Roma and Cinti, to Homosexuals to Leftits and to disabled people as well as to the Soviets happen and support it, is the most disgusting thing a society can do, and the native Germans are doing it again now with the Palestinians. And it is the same pattern, just look away, pretend its not happening, support it unconditionally but whoever says something about it will be silenced immediately. When they asked the Nazi Germans after Hitlers suicide how they could have let somethin like that happen, they said they had no knowledge about it, and its the same thing now again, the Germans havent changed at all. Not even mentioning that a new Nazi party the AFD is currently the strongest party in polls. And that you are glad that Germany is an unconditional supporter of Israel letting them massacre little Children on a daily basis with german weapons is totally disgusting man, really totally disgusting and you say its not even enough, Western hypocrites at what they know doing best.

Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple Overview: Featuring never-before-seen footage, this documentary delivers a startling new look at the Peoples Temple, headed by preacher Jim Jones who, in 1978, led more than 900 members to Guyana, where he orchestrated a mass suicide via tainted punch.

I have the theory Sex addiction is compulsively seeking and clinging to intimacy. It is the obsession of unity. Every person has the desire for unity but when people are deprived of intimacy they start seeking it compulsively. I think you read my post about pedophilia, it's the same mechanism (the abyss). Sex addiction happens, when you experienced abandonment in your life. Did your parents separate? Did your parents not give you the love you needed? Did your parents abandon you? Did you have friends in your childhood that you could count on? Where you at some point in a relationship that they suddenly ended? When you experienced abandonment at some point in your life, you will always fear it and cling to intimacy as long as you have not worked through the trauma. The brutal reality of the fear of abandonment is that when you cling to your relationships you tend to lose them bc humans want to feel free in relationships. And when that happens you are abandoned again and your fear becomes stronger which amplifies your clinginess. This negative feedback loop is one of the most tragic things in human experience, and it can drive you and your loved ones into suicide. So try to avoid it.

@LordFall This is a very difficult subject to handle. Firstly, you must empathise with the human condition. Illnesses, diseases, wars, forms of corruptions in the numbers greater than clothing designs, and all this where as much as this period in history reflects our highest technological growth, that is by abstract comparison far outweighed by all the above and the suicide rate across the planet. Also this is just our global context, we live our indiviudal lives and all of us are given these massive ego's when compared to the universe we are no more than specs of sand. What a cruel joke right! That said, most of the world's issues actually exist in the most developed countries ironically speaking when it comes to subjects such as happiness, which is separate to difficulties in themselves but nevertheless details the existential position one has towards them. I am sure you have previously done personal research before on native tribes for example that are perfectly content protecting themselves from the next latest iPhone upgrade! The goal should not be to find a particular answer, your role is to serve your unique living context. Look outside the screen you are viewing this from, where I am right now, does not matter outside the abstract of your present experience. You must find resolve within yourself about how you feel in your body and mind for the sake of your body and mind alone, not in trying to bring global or even universal existential resolve to a condition you have no control over, but just for yourself and your own developmental maturity. We as humans unknowingly become addicted to our emotional patterns, and we curate meaning unknowingly according to the feelings we are unknowingly falsely believing to be the very state upon how we should view situations. This is NOT word play, it is a very elementary reality that when its fixed by way of meditating within oneself and teaching oneself by observing their own inward patterns how their emotions emerge and with that too, fluctuations of energy kind and magnitude, and with that the influences that emerge to bring about our cognitive experiences. Most of the difficulties in reality in light of our technological advancements are more and more becoming fundamentally just judgements on our own personal emotional competence. Judgements in assessing our energetic state and leveraging our awareness to bring balance, harmony and joy through that interaction alone, and pride, time and care in that self awareness to strategic long term self organisation internally and externally in that process. You share a unique perspective in this world as do all people on this forum and the world at large. Reality is funnelled through the very unique limitations that make-up you as a human being. By taking pride in how our being organises information energetically (thus all encompassingly), maturity naturally folds the meaning we are meant to harbour for our unique life context. Maturity, not praise from the outside, not even internal validation outside of autocorrecting self esteem, is where the aim should be concerning any existential disposition we have, god or otherwise. That... is something only you have direct access to, have control over and a clear timeline towards responsibly embracing. To take that path maturely, you must release what is outside the reference frame of what you can control, and make peace with these realities. This will be my only comment for this thread, but I wish you well. Best regards.

Absofuckinglutely, thats why it is a suicide mission.

Am I allowed to commit suicide I want to die and never reincarnate as a human never again

You are more likely to see your young male date return home and suicide than you are to be murdered by him (as a woman). While intimate partner violence is a major issue (and many men are abused and it is chronically underreported), suicide is the leading cause of death for young men 😢

I would like to add some notes regarding what Leo disagrees with feminism: The patriarchal paradigm is as deeply integrated into society as materialism and rationality; everything is viewed through those lenses and, obviously, it is untruthful. It is alive within our consciousness, we perceive reality through its lens, often unquestioned. It is a hierarchical and oppressive system that was built for the biology of males by males. Its oppression is deep. It is not only women who are oppressed by men; it is the masculine oppressing the feminine, rather than coexisting with it as it should. It is the oppression of life, creativity, love, nature, mystery, spirituality, and everything that makes life whole. Feminism is not about insisting that men and women are equal in biology. This is a simplification based on a lack of understanding of feminism. Of course, there are biological differences between males and females, which are obvious. The point of feminism is not to deny them but to separate sex from gender. Sex is a biological truth. Gender is a social construct and is not as rigid as sex. If gender were as rigid as sex, all males and females would be born men and women with all the patriarchal expectations of manhood and womanhood built in. But in reality, males and females are not born as men and women they are socialized into these roles. Men and women should be treated with the same human dignity and respect, first and foremost. They should be given the same opportunities to be who they want to be. However, men and women have different biological needs, and this should be understood and valued. Patriarchal society is fitted to male biology as a default. Whether it is medicine, design, clinical research, safety testing, work rhythms, urban planning, public space, protective equipment, tools, default user assumptions, or social policies, this pattern appears repeatedly. Conservatives love to emphasize that "traditional" (oppressive) gender roles are from God and therefore natural, while never actually making society more suitable for women’s actual needs and biology. What problems are you talking about? If you are talking about modern problems such as a toxic productivity culture that leads people to burnout and even suicide, social isolation and a mental health crisis epidemic, environmental and ecological damage, the invisibility of care and domestic unpaid labor, and economic inequality then a matriarchal society, which is more care-centered, could definitely help resolve those. Again, matriarchy doesn’t mean women are at the top exploiting men (something men often fear, because they know this is exactly what patriarchy does to women hahaha), but rather a society that is centered around care. Have you ever asked yourself how we can create a better society? Where does it start? With children. What if you taught children from an early age all the important lessons you teach here, rather than teaching them to become another pawn in the system and another money-making machine for the few rich? If we want to create a better society, we should put most of our focus, love and care on them because they are the foundation. Again, this may not happen soon but we are in a transition to a more matriarchal society. Patriarchy is currently in collapse, this collapse may take a few more decades or even centuries but this is inevitable. There is a difference between sexual attraction and desiring a good-looking person without dehumanizing them, and seeing the other as merely an object or a machine. Do you think that men biologically see women as merely objects for consumption, without any soul or humanity? I don’t believe this is a natural way for humans to look at other humans. If we can perceive humanity and even “soul” in animals, trees, and objects, we can certainly do so in each other while also experiencing sexual desire. Seeing another human as merely an object is not a natural condition; it is a learned behavior, shaped by culture and environment. Women (biological females) obviously have different hormones. We have the menstrual cycle, which men do not have, and this certainly affects mood and energy levels. It is also true that men generally have greater muscle strength compared to women. However, cognitively, women are not inferior to men in any domain. The main thing that limits women is misogyny and bias. Throughout history, men have succeeded only because of the invisible labor of women behind the scenes. Behind every great man, there is an even greater woman. Women also have some physical strengths and advantages that men do not, such as higher pain tolerance in certain contexts (for example, due to childbirth). Women have always performed physical labor, carrying loads, working in agriculture, and caring for children. There has never been a period in history in which women did not engage in physical work. Feminism is not about turning women into men or turning men into women. It is first and foremost about the liberation of women (and men) from patriarchal, narrowed expectations that block them as humans. This is a soul liberation movement. The first wave of feminism was actually about women striving to have the same opportunities as men (voting, owning possessions, working in paid jobs); however, this is not about becoming masculine but having the freedom of choice. People with a shallow understanding of feminism confuse it with liberal feminism. Liberal feminism is not a real, distinct ideology in itself; it is often presented as a strawman version of feminism invented by critics and intertwined with capitalism. Liberal feminism is sometimes argued to be patriarchy in disguise. The only feminism is radical feminism. This is its true core. There is nothing in feminism about making women like men, this is a liberal capitalist invention. Even concervatives try to colonize feminism. The truth is that in a patriarchal society, we are not safe to be feminine. We are not safe to be creative, authentic, spiritual, and loving in our being because we may be exploited or would not survive in the system. This is the patriarchy, which makes us more masculine and denies us our femininity, which we truly crave especially the wild woman and the witch archetype that we long to integrate collectively as women but which is demonized in patriarchy. Additionally, no one in the world can convince me that we are not capable of being leaders and strategic thinkers like men, and even better, because we have greater emotional mastery. Even studies show that women are better leaders than men. In all the leadership measures. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2023/03/31/new-research-women-more-effective-than-men-in-all-leadership-measures/ The existence of gender roles may be efficient for society in fulfilling its purposes however, they are not natural or rigid and can vary between societies. In patriarchal societies, gender roles are such that men are above women; they enjoy more privilege, freedom, and protection. This is not a natural construct but a human-created system of gender roles designed to benefit patriarchy. There is nothing natural about it. The only natural thing is for women to have babies. How those babies are raised (in a nuclear family or a community), with how many people, which people, how resources are allocated, and which behaviors are valued or not in each gender are all constructed by society. People aren’t born as blank slates, they are born with their own temperament and personality traits that feel relatively stable. However, they are not born with gender roles and expectations they learn them. But children do have their own preferences, and socialization into gender roles does not always come easily to many. For example, I struggled with my socialization, and it made me frustrated. I hated that I had to be a “good girl,” which meant being nice and pleasant, downplaying my intelligence, and constantly caring about my appearance. I always had my own temperament, opinions, and a unique view of myself and others, which I couldn’t fit into this narrow box of gender roles. As a result, I often felt flawed and confused. I know I am not the only one who has struggled most of us do. Maybe the problem is not with gender roles themselves, but with the narrowness of them. Maybe there should be many acceptable ways to be a man or a woman, depending on the temperament of the individual, not only one narrow and rigid way which suits a few people. The problem is patriarchy, not men. Yes, it is a system that is built for men, but it harms men as well. The criticism is about toxic masculinity, not masculinity itself. The fact that many people cannot differentiate between masculinity and toxic masculinity which men often perceive as the only form of masculinity, and therefore feel is an “attack on masculinity” is very unsettling. It is also unsettling that when women express real issues like unsafety, femicide, rape, and predatory behavior from men, some men perceive this as an attack on them or their masculinity rather than as a real problem to address. Imagine if it were reversed and women were raping and killing men, and when men complained about it, women perceived it as an attack on femininity rather than actually addressing the issue. Still there is an inequality no matter how you rationalize it. If women are socialized from childhood to be pleasant, nice, attentive, and pleasing, it can make them more vulnerable to harm from men who are socialized in the opposite way. There are definitely measures that women can take to reduce the risk of sexual abuse, such as education about patriarchy, awareness of how some men may perceive women, and trusting their intuition. Without it women, such as men uphold the patriarchy. However, men are still more accountable for their behavior because they are the ones who act like predators. Some men coerce women into sex, manipulate them in various ways, or love-bomb them, often targeting young and vulnerable women, but not only them. This is why I believe that women need to assume that any man they meet could be a potential abuser until proven otherwise and maintain very high standards for men’s character. No one in society often teaches women this. Instead, women are frequently taught even by other women that having a male partner is their ultimate goal in life, regardless of who they are, to understand men, give them chances, ignore poor behavior, and try to fix them. When women set standards for men’s behavior, they are often seen as delusional, crazy, hysterical, or overly picky. Nothing justifies sexual abuse. Men should be held accountable for it. It is their responsibility to treat women better. Also men can also be attracted to toxic women who use them like rags. I have seen it a lot hahahaha. Some people are attracted to toxic people, regardless of gender. Sure, there are plenty of curropted and selfish women as well. The point of feminism is that there are many competent women who are not elected or hired for the mere reason that they are women and not men. I actually see the opposite: the breaking of the illusions of patriarchy regarding gender, biology, and human nature. I would love to hear some examples of privileges women enjoy that men don't in society. Maybe I am not aware of something. Not all women are saints who never lie or distort reality. However, women are not always listened to or taken seriously enough when they report abuse or sexual crimes because of male bias. Women can be genuinely angry or emotional because of the pain and humiliation, and men may not take them seriously, saying, “Oh, she is just overreacting” or “She is dramatic.” In contrast, when men report abuse or crimes against them, they are often taken more seriously, even if they express anger or emotion, because society tends to listen to men more. Holding men accountable for predatory and abusive behavior and asking for empathy and genuine connection is not turning men into women. It is turning bad men into good men. The fact that many men view being a good man as being like a woman shows how deeply they perceive toxic masculinity as the real or only form of masculinity. I agree. Men are often governed by conformity to other men, their ego and lust which distorts their perception of reality and truth.

Suicide of famous UFO researcher.

"Will to live" appears to be something slightly more complex for our species, perhaps being more of a transformation or confusion than a negation in the event of suicide and self-harming behaviors . I wish I could think of more to say on the matter, but I haven't come up with a more complete explanation of where our will to live comes from than the evolutionary inevitability that having life and seeking life are necessarily convergent principles.

I'm copying a lot of this text from my personal trip reports, which is why it's framed as me talking to myself. Yesterday I was feeling really awful, in a lot of pain, and I was really suicidal. I made the decision that I’ve had enough. I can’t live this life anymore. This has gone too far and gotten absolutely ridiculous. I cannot keep putting myself through this hell of a life. It’s cruel, it’s awful, it doesn’t end - I’m done. I’m going to give up on this life, and do whatever I can to make myself kill myself. If the universe wants me to stay alive and do something with my life, then it can make that happen. It’s had plenty of opportunities to do that, but it still won’t. So I am going to kill myself, get rid of this life, and if the universe doesn’t stop me and change something about my life, then it’s not my fault. I’ve done everything I can. I decided to take MDMA. I usually only use it with other psychedelics for healing purposes, and I wouldn't let myself use it for any other reason because it can be addictive, but I didn't care at this point, I was planning on killing myself later that day, so I took it just for my own enjoyment. Noticing my fear of killing myself I plugged the MDMA, it came on gradually and reached its peak after about an hour. During this time I felt SO good. I was journalling on my laptop, listening to music, and I felt amazing. It made me think again that it’s so stupid that I have to live this life and suffer so much for so long, when I could just be in a state like this, feel so good and not be in any pain. I started to think about what I was going to do after this trip. I knew this good feeling wouldn’t last and eventually I was going to go back to being in a lot of pain, and I needed to kill myself. I was really afraid to do that though. I really wanted to kill myself, but the thought of actually doing it is so scary. I don’t know if leaving this life is the right decision, I don’t know how I’ll feel after I die and where I will go, I was so afraid of it all. Eventually I realized that all of this fear I have only hurts me. I really don’t need to be so afraid, not just of killing myself but of life in general. I could see that this fear is an illusion and it’s something I could let go of. You need to have the courage to lose your life. I am so afraid of suicide, of dying, of losing control, moving into the unknown, etc. You need to see that there is really nothing to fear, you will be okay. Giving up my control I realized that I needed to get to the edge of suicide and seriously consider killing myself, right then and there, to really confront my fear of death. I saw that if I had the courage to let go and let myself die, that the universe would take control. If I totally surrender and give up all control of my life, the universe/my higher self will be able to come through me and live my life for me, and Tristan won’t be here anymore to suffer from this life, so I won’t have to physically kill myself to get the relief that I want. See that you can totally give up control to the universe, totally surrender, totally let go, and you no longer need to think about what you need to do to heal and move forwards in your life. That’s not your problem anymore. By totally giving up control over my life, you let the universe come through you and take over. This is exactly what I want, because I am absolutely exhausted from trying to make things work in my life. Just give up and relax. Your only objective at this point is to fully let go of control, and do whatever feels good to you. The thought of healing, moving forwards with my life, starting to work and make money, all of these problems in my life, they don’t matter to me anymore. Forget about all of them. If you get into a position where your back is against the wall and you are forced to do something you don’t like (such as running out of money and being forced to work when I don’t want to) then you kill yourself, no questions asked. You’ve been through enough pain in your life, you’ve suffered enough, it’s not your responsibility to try to make things work anymore. You need to trust that if you fully let go, the universe will take care of you. I’ve been so deeply suicidal for so long, and tried so hard to kill myself, yet I am still here. I am not going to get into a situation where I actually end up killing myself, even if I totally give up control and don’t care about doing anything to make my life any better. What I need to do moving forwards At this point, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, because it is no longer your responsibility to move your life forwards and make things work for yourself. Do whatever makes you feel good and whatever you feel like doing at all times. If you get into a situation where your back is against the wall, then you can kill yourself. Don’t force yourself to keep going through pain and living this life if you don’t want to. If the universe wants things to work out for you, then it will make that happen. Stop worrying about the problems in your life, stop trying to make things work for yourself, because that is not my problem anymore, and it only causes me more suffering to keep stressing about my problems and trying to figure them out. Give up on your life as if you were going to kill yourself, focus on making yourself feel good, and let that help you surrender control more and more, until Tristan is gone and the universe/my higher self has fully taken over me. There is nothing else you have to do. How it feels surrendering to my higher self As I surrender more, the universe will be able to enter my being more. I noticed that as my higher self starts to enter me, it cannot co-exist in my being with all of the emotional issues I have. I can feel a lot of emotional pain coming to the surface to be released as my higher self enters me. I’m sure as I surrender more and more, this will give me the opportunity to heal, and maybe this was the way I was always meant to heal, and this is why healing has never worked for me in the past. I can feel that once all of my emotional pain gets released, I will naturally start to feel like working and moving forwards with my life, but I won’t be forcing myself to do that, and Tristan won’t be the one doing it at all. I can feel that as my higher self really starts to take control, and Tristan falls away, my entire life will be directed by it. Tristan won’t be the one teaching about emotional healing and helping people. The universe will be living through me, helping people directly, and Tristan will be gone. When I surrender and allow my higher self to take control, I can feel myself entering an altered state of consciousness. Life doesn’t feel like a physical reality anymore, it feels like I am walking around in a dream, in an imagination, a mind. I also feel like I am more intelligent and insightful than I was before. Insight comes to me much more easily. I can feel myself being pushed to stop thinking so much and start to feel a lot more. Feeling is how I access my higher self and get direction from it. I can feel a lot of my neurosis and dysfunctional behaviours falling away. My higher self is not weak or afraid, it will not let people push it around, and I can feel a lot of my neurosis being corrected just as a result of my higher self entering me. I really feel like my healing will come from establishing my connection to my higher self, and as I surrender to it, I will receive the love I need to help me heal. . . . My objective now after that trip is to keep working on getting to a point where I can fully surrender and let my higher self take over. I have a lot of fear and resistance within me that prevents me from surrendering, so it will take work to get to the point where I can fully let go. This morning, I went to take a shower, and I was thinking about everything that happened yesterday, thinking about how crazy it is that my higher self is starting to take over me, along with how connected I've felt to existential love lately, such as the episodes of craziness I've had recently after touching existential love. Thinking about all of this together made me really see how obvious that I am awakening and moving towards existential love. As I was thinking about this, I starting crying, and I started acting crazy again and getting into an altered state of consciousness. It was deeper than usual. It felt similar to a state I would get into on a psychedelic, even though I was fully sober. It was a lot more clear, stable and lucid than psychedelics, and it didn't have the blurry headspace they often have. I felt dis-identified with myself, and everything felt so beautiful and amazing. I kept crying and acting crazy, and later I played music and it was absolutely mesmerizing. I was was also looking at pictures of beautiful girls, and was in absolute awe of their beauty - it was just radiating off of them. After I got out of the shower, I plugged 5-MeO-DMT. I was already planning to do it earlier that day. It was a low dose as usual, but I got into quite a high consciousness state from it. My intention was to surrender as much as possible, because that's what I need to be working on, and I left human life quite a lot by doing that. Here's what I got from the trip: You keep thinking that when you take 5-MeO-DMT and awaken, that this is just some state you get into, but your normal human life is what’s real. That’s not the case at all. The awakened state is what’s real, and you’re fooling yourself if you think that it’s not. You think that you can take 5-MeO-DMT and awaken to God, Leo can do that, other people on this forum can do that, and that is just some state you get into, and then you come back to this normal human life and that is what’s real. You’re fooling yourself. There is nobody else to awaken to God but you. This is your dream, you are only imagining that other people exist. Because of this you need to stop giving other people so much authority. You’re giving away your power to an illusion. The only thing that matters is that I awaken and realize the truth of what I am. You think that Leo has this life purpose where he teaches people how to awaken on YouTube, and he has this forum where you can go and talk to other people about awakening, and get advice, but all of this is a massive bullshit story you are creating. There is no Leo, there is no “Leo’s life’s life purpose”, there is no forum, there is no other people to talk to about awakening. All of this is something you’re creating yourself to lead you to awakening. It’s all me. See how foolish it is to give all of it so much authority, when it’s not real, and I’m the one creating it. It’s fine if you want to go back to the forum and live your human life like normal, but you need to stop giving Leo/the forum/people on the forum so much authority. You’re being an idiot by doing this. My relationship with God/the universe/my higher self is the only thing that matters, it’s the only thing that is real, so I need to follow that and obey that no matter what anyone else says. Otherwise, you are giving your power away to an illusion, and you won’t awaken by doing that. (This really helps me to trust what I experienced on MDMA yesterday, that totally surrendering myself and letting my higher self take over is absolutely the right thing to do) I started to surrender deeper, and I could feel myself connecting deeper with this higher consciousness state. I started to cry really hard, and I realized that God is what I have always wanted. Like Leo said: “when you want x, what you really want is God”. However you will only experience God once you completely, 100% surrender, which is something I am still working towards. . . . I'm currently doing better and not feeling suicidal. What I experienced yesterday with MDMA really made me feel a lot better. It's clear that I am headed to some sort of awakening, that my human self is going to fall away and my higher self will take over. I have developed such a deep hatred towards human life because of how much pain I've gone through, and I want to leave this life so badly, but it seems like if I just surrender myself and let go, my higher self will take over, and Tristan won't have to be here living this life anymore. It's also nice to know that it's no longer my responsibility to solve my problems or direct my life in any way. I am so exhausted from doing that, because I try so hard to change my life and it never works, and it causes so much frustration and suffering. Knowing that I don't have to do anything anymore, that I can just let go and let my human self die without physically killing myself, this is a huge relief. This both gives me a reason to stay alive, and it shows me that I will likely undergo a huge transformation over the next few months, and it will result in my higher self living through me, living my life, and Tristan will no longer be here. I'm sure that's what all of this pain I've been going through for years has been leading me to. I'm sharing this post only because all of this makes me really happy, and I love sharing it with other people who are into spiritual work

Heaven's Gate: The Cult of Cults Overview: An examination of the UFO cult through the eyes of its former members and their loved ones; what starts with the disappearance of 20 people from an Oregon town, ends with the largest suicide on U.S. soil.

Woman arrested for masturbating on the beach. Commits suicide afterwards.

Women and kids lives are EXTREMELY important. And if you watch a movie you might get the impression that they are even MORE important going by the number of people killed. In real life too way more men get killed from: violence, homicide, war - not to mention suicide, dangerous workplaces, homeless, and drugs. By statistics alone the average man has more to fear than the average women. This is regardless of who the victimizers are.