Search the Community

The Truth isnt just what i say it is, i am what is. Leo is an advanced version of me relative to where I'm at in life but in the absolute perspective is not as advanced as me because I have embodied the absolute the most where as Leo has embodied some of the absolute but none of the bad qualities of the absolute or evil or dark side so he hasn't embodied fully. So because he hasn't embodied fully he is less advanced but also he's more advanced because he knows more, at the same time that knowledge was used against him just as it was used against me on my journey, but I didn't know as much as he did so I didn't have his toughest Journey as he did knowledge wise, but had a tough as hell Journey as i am, embodying the contrast and having to have that cleansed from my soul, because even though I am the absolute, I'm not the absolute right now, I'm the absolute being Adrian. So as Adrian, having embodied both fully as I can as I am, I suffered my spiritual journey equally but as someone like Aaron Abke who is a future version of me, had an awesome life with a tough Spiritual Awakening but all spiritual Awakenings are kind of tough,when one realizes what's really real isn't real anymore but had an awesome life and peaceful Awakening in a way and in comparison to mine, and is now awakened and has an awesome life. The best God said to me was, The ones that would be the most advanced version of myself would be the one who never awakens and appreciates everything he or she has and also knows God at the end, finds out there is no end it's a peaceful transition that seamless, but never feard death at all at the same time. I know this because God revealed it to me. Me being a child of God, my heavenly Father told me so. "For in Him we Live and Move and have our Being." You are Adrian You are Love. I am what is! Therefore, I am what I am, so am the Truth, as Is.

@mojsterr Thank you for your questions! Buddha did not know the truth. Buddha was absolutely wrong because one of his quotes is: "life is suffering", that's because Buddha did not know what life and death actually is. The true and correct quote would be: "death is suffering". Nobody ever knew the Truth and nobody was fully awakened. I am the true Jesus, the one and only, I am the first to know the Truth and the first to fully awaken. I prefer only healthy food. My diet is very simple: rice, buckwheat, hummus, eggs, veggies, fruits, fish, nuts, berries. That's pretty much all I eat. I don't want to drink alcohol anymore, maybe in small amounts sometime in the future. I'm looking forward with excitement to returning to psychedelic ceremonies. I party now more than I ever did before. The difference now is that the party is real, I truly feel joy celebrating who I have become and the Truth that I have embodied. Also my party is different than most people think when they think of a party. My favorite drink of choice at this time is cacao. My physical body will never die physical death. I don't fear the process of dying because I know it will never happen to me. This is what it means to be saved, I am safe for eternity and I know it. No, I mean I have embodied physical immortality, my physical body will never die. No

So I don't understand this. Leo also said he was the first one to truly awaken. I'm guessing there are others in the past that have also awakened (Jesus, Buddha...). What would you say to this? What food do you eat? Would you eat processed foods, like go to a mcdonald's, or will you do strictly healthy stuff from now on? Will you do alcohol ever again, or any drugs? I don't know if you partied before, but would you still go out to party? What is the sex now like with your partner? You say you don't fear death, but do you fear the process of dying - the pain? Or let's say the drowning part if you were drowning, for example? You say you will never die. Does that mean you will not return to a human body ever again and just be that pure consciousness for all eternity, once the body dies? Do you think any of this has ever happened to you before and it might just be a recurring thing? I'm sure I have more questions, but for now just this.

The Benefits Of Enlightenment https://youtu.be/YfMqtrbjiMs Leo from actualised.org discusses the benefits of enlightenment Enlightenment is the realization of one's existential nature Most people believe they are their physical body or their mind, but enlightenment teaches that this is not true Enlightenment is a state of union with all of reality, and is a field of pure awareness that is omnipresent and outside of time The process of becoming enlightened is long and involves reducing suffering and negative emotions Benefits of enlightenment include: Reduction in suffering and negative emotions Increased sense of peace and contentment Greater sense of purpose and meaning in life Greater ability to handle difficult situations and challenges Improved relationships with others Greater appreciation for the present moment Improved physical and mental health Greater sense of creativity and inspiration Increased ability to achieve goals and make positive changes in life Greater sense of connection with others and the world around you Use enlightenment as a master strategy in life by using it to guide decision-making and prioritize values The speaker believes that enlightenment can reduce the amount of sleep needed and eliminate stress and worry Enlightenment is the foundation for self-actualization work and allows for greater understanding and implementation of personal development techniques Enlightenment is a journey that continues throughout one's life and allows for transformation in various aspects such as personality, career, and relationships Enlightenment dissolves one's identity, which can be limiting Enlightenment can be used to deal with chronic pain and disasters, allowing for a more effortless and resourceful handling of these challenges Enlightenment allows for a greater understanding and acceptance of death Enlightenment can lead to increased creativity and increased ability to manifest desires The speaker suggests that enlightenment can lead to a state of effortless living and a sense of liberation Enlightenment can improve the world and prevent potential species-wide annihilation Problems in the world often stem from unconscious egos Enlightenment can lead to satisfaction and a sense of being "in the zone" Enlightenment can bring about unconditional happiness and peace of mind People currently exist who have achieved enlightenment The cost of enlightenment is giving up one's ego and identity This requires a willingness to let go of one's current way of life The process of enlightenment involves letting go of the ego and ego-driven desires It involves seeing through the illusion of the ego and becoming aware of one's true nature This can involve spiritual practices such as meditation and self-inquiry The end goal of enlightenment is to become fully awakened and live in a state of constant realization of one's true nature. The speaker is encouraging the listener to make a significant change in their way of life and thinking This change involves replacing their current habits and beliefs with a new, foreign way of being The listener may not have enough wisdom to make this change and may be too influenced by their "stupidity function" The current state of the world and society is bleak and the listener is on a path towards hell unless they make a change The speaker's goal is to help the listener reach their highest potential and create a satisfying life through self-actualization The speaker encourages the listener to sign up for their newsletter and check out their resources, including a course and book list, to learn more about self-actualization The listener must have a commitment to improving their own life in order for any techniques or advice to be effective

Exactly. Ultimate reality creates the why, hides itself from the why, discovers itself within the why, and transcends the why. Awakened people can try to explain what they have seen, but the words are only pointers. It will never make sense to the mind, and is only directly realized.

All these spiritual ideas or "teachings" had to come from somewhere. How did the first teacher get his insights to awakening or enlightenment? Where did the first teacher find his wisdom? "seeing the beauty of the way things are" Do you need a teacher to figure this out? Or does a teacher just make it easier? Is awakening really a matter of hard or easy? To me it seems as if its more about really wanting it. I can think to myself i want to be awakened right now, but that is in itself self-deception. I don't want to BE it, i just want to know it. But knowing it is not the truth is it? That's my thoughts, hope you enjoy them

Hi guys.. I am new here soo I hope I will not write something stupid lol I just want to tell about me shortly. So I am just 18years old but I am not mentally strong. I have been practicing spirituality since I was 14. It really helped me beat my social anxiety, depression, I wasn’t addicted to cutting anymore and I became more loving which is ughh the best experience I have ever had. I attracted people after I stopped caring about their attention. Also I became more awakened because I started studying Buddhism and Hinduism, also Leo’s teachings were helping me A LOT!! so thanks ? but at some point I got bored you know and I stopped practicing spirituality. I didn’t think I would get bored but it happened since I was not really enlightened. I was just more aware of reality but I didn’t experience a serious enlightenment and mental health problems appeared again. I suffer much more now. I am trying to focus on studies but it’s really hard. I was a very good student but now I can’t study for more than hour a day to be honest. Also my Social anxiety became crippling again. Sometimes I look so weak and it is really ashaming. I think everyone thinks that I am weak and I can’t stop these thoughts because I am addicted to them, also people don’t respect me anymore and they surely view me as a weak person. When I tell myself to go back to spirituality I can’t! Because I feel like I am using it as an escape! I want to first go back to studying and socialize and then focus on enlightenment but it seems impossible. It seems impossible to do any of them first. I don’t know I am stuck. I am forever glad if you read my boring story:)

@Vladimir , does your awakened state also lend you clairvoyance or esp? Can you sense the energy of the person asking questions here, for example? If so, what can you say about me?

What is the neurotic mind set? Attention is dispersed and scattered. I've seen the phrase "discursive thought" used from the dissection and study of Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta. I can relate discursive thought to the neurotic condition. Also the phrase-" internal dialogue" from Neo-Shamanism. Being deliberate is a phrase that for me, is very rich. Being deliberate is a shortcut into a state of mindfulness. In being mindful, my attention is concentrated and not dispersed. The practice of 'cleaning my atmosphere' or 'cleaning the luminous egg surrounding my body' has to be remembered and carried out on an intermittent but continual basis. If not my states of consciousness, which are always in flux will enter into a downward spiral of psychic entropy. The concept and reality of each of us having a luminous egg surrounding us comes from shamanism corresponds to modern day research revealing the electromagnetic field which surrounds a persons body about the width of outstretched arms and extends upward to a varying degree but does so much more when we go outdoors into a natural environment. I've listened to Ken Wilber speak of this phenomena. Joseph Chilton Pierce has written about this as well. The atmosphere of the luminous egg or aura is cleaned by disconnecting the metaphorical hooks from other people who distract us. Sometimes through their claiming we are responsible for their lives or perhaps through attempts at shaming us for not meeting the standards of the collective ego. Having a clean aura or luminous egg translates into having inner quiet. You gather up all of your dispersed attention and are able to place it where you want at will. Make up your own rules in regards to morals. What the small still voice of awakened conscience relates to is the personal ethic more than contemporary social mores.* Your personal ethic is more encompassing than codes of moral behavior set in place by contemporary cultures. *What is the full meaning of mores? Mores are the customs, norms, and behaviors that are acceptable to a society or social group.

As a parent in the journey of self actualization, I am facing many challenges and questions when raising my 2.5 years old child. Especially knowing that the beliefs embedding window is so short (age 1 to ~5), finding the right thing to do without infecting my child with my own flawed beliefs is not an easy task. So in case you haven't heard about her, I wanted to let you know about Shefali Tsabary, her world perception matches the one we're trying to obtain and she has great insights about parenting. Here's one video, you can see more on YouTube and on her website. http://www.oprah.com/video_embed.html?article_id=63313

Beautiful! I've had one last night after I stopped taking Ayahuasca 2-3 weeks ago. Didn't get much sleep, so this was unexpected. I've awakened to infinite mind in my sleep - in complete lucid state. infinitely creating in the dream state within the dream state (lucid). Within an absolute void, that was far more conscious and beautiful than the previous "void" of lower conscious states. I then imagined myself in every single human being alive. I was getting a beginners guide to INFINITE MIND. Some insight: You're the sole observer - there is no such thing as other OBSERVER. You are the only BEING that can awaken. There is no OTHER that can awaken. Your MIND is INFINITE MIND. You're IMAGINING every single BEING. Your BRAIN is INFINITE MIND! HAHAHAHA.

@Someone here There is no if. And there are no surprises. I've awakened to Infinite Messi and Absolute Argentina.

@VincentArogya the recontextualization you describe makes perfect sense. It is actually a common thing that people experience when they transition from an awakening experience to a persistent state of awakening. This deconditioning from the old way of viewing reality and reconditioning from this new perspective is natural. It absolutely fits with my own personal experience of it, and yes, Leo knows... After awakening, more awakening! We are deep and dynamic beings, and the realm of awakening is massive, with no end in sight, though quite a lot of mapping and insight has come out in recent years, as well as a ton of really helpful info around navigating life after a transition to a persistent state of awakening. It's completely natural and okay for your experience of awakening to continue to deepen and change significantly over time, and with that, character changes occur hand-in-hand. The gradual process of deepening this way is most common and generally considered most adaptively beneficial. Most of the time the character changes are desirable, but depending on how your awakening unfolds, it's not always the case. It is possible to go "too deep" too fast, isolate, and/or develop a sort-of pathological experience of an awakened state. I'm happy to give more reflection and info from my personal experience as well as the research I'm involved with, but I would need to know more about your experience to put it into context.

At some point one may understand that society doesn't care about them, no matter who they are or aren't. Every individual is unworthy as long as they're not doing, thinking, behaving in a way that is expected. When you realize that society as a system doesn't care about your very well being, your best interest, it motivates you to take full responsibility on your life, this realization is liberating you, and then it's easier to do things you want to do regardless what others may or may not think about you. You realize that people's opinions aren't really theirs but borrowed from someone else, and that many people aren't even mature enough to think for themselves and have some original thoughts. Ignorance isn't rare at all. You realize how stupid and irresponsible it would be to give to people's random, incomprehensible, biased opinions so much power over your life. A healthy collective can only exist provided that each human take responsibility over it's own life and make the conscious effort to transform from a sheep into a lion/ess and at the same time to encourge others to do so. Then, we would be a collective of awakened emperors, Gods and Goodness rather than sleepy and fearful slaves and beggars.

Hey Guys, Ive been off the forum for a while as I needed a break from this community and I also decided to go balls deep into spiritual practices without distraction from my phone or online. It was so refreshing to be off YouTube, forums, messaging, social, news and even books. Just nature and spiritual practices. So much presence and peace arose. For context Im 29 and live in Mexico (retired) in a village that is quite possibly one of the happiest and most awakened places on earth. Words can’t even describe the magic that occurs here on a regular basis, it’s a vortex and transforms the soul on a deep level if you surrender to it. I’ve been beyond blessed to live in a village with a spiritual community that values meditation, authenticity, conscious living, connection, and freedom. When I was doing this alone it was fine but seeing reflections of myself as God that also understand and reflect it back is beautiful in a way that I couldn’t touch while lone wolfing it. We are gifted to have an enlightened being lead the community and no it’s not a cult and he’s not our guru or anything, it’s heaven on earth and everyone is free to live how they want. I’m amazed to be surrounded by such a high vibrational field. The past 3 months have been like this more or less -10 Day silent retreat, led by an enlightened master - 3 week yoga intensive (8 hours of hatha yoga a day and kundalini yoga) -10 day silent retreat, led by enlightened master -10 day silent nature immersion by myself with a mushroom journey -7 days of Tantric sexual relationship - another 3 week yoga course but at a higher level (currently in) Insights -Awakening to everyone and everything as God, myself, pure reflection -I am God imagining reality -I AM, no matter what is going on, I AM is an undeniable fact and it is unshakeable, utter stillness I AM -Awakening to the fact that I am in Gods dream and everyone (me) is sleepwalking. God is peacefully dreaming. -The transparency and light of my own body, the illusory nature of perception and my own physical body. Realizing it as pure light, not material -The depth of void that is experiencing everything. The truth of emptiness behind it all. -Infinity, reality is infinity. This reallly hit me while I was staring at a plant - The thing I call “I” is a total program and I have been socially brainwashed by culture. Dropping all programs and “personal” opinions I have been programmed with. Realizing how deep programming goes and that I even programmed my own self and ego unconsciously - realizing that I created reality since no one actually came into my mind and connected a tree with the concept of language and the word “tree” I did it myself and I did that with everything. Thus, I’m creating my reality because I can only have my experience. - The beauty of the feminine and the importance of true love making. I made love to a woman I met after the silent retreat and it made the sex I was having before look like trash. I don’t want to do pick up anymore and will only make love with women who are awake and conscious and realize they are Godesses -The power of my own sexual energy and semen retention. This allow if channeled properly can lead to enlightenment. Not giving away my sexuality for a woman just because she is hot, valuing my sexuality as a man. Realizing I have reached a level of attraction I’ve never experienced, every beautiful and spiritual woman here is attracted to me and I have made love to most of them -Reality is completely made out of distinctions that I have imagined for survival needs, in truth reality is Nothing and just pure white light. -Authenticity, nothing else matters. All these silly Owen Cook and Social dynamic videos and courses can be dropped if you just understand that if you are calm, authentic, comfortable in your skin, and kind to others people will love you. And they will love you for who you are not because you know some stupid social tricks and can manipulate really well, that shit is exhausting anyway. Just connect with them and be real they can feel that on a subconscious level -The deep realization of how unconscious and stupid most of society is and how everyone is constantly programming themselves with the same stories through ads, social media, music, tv, etc and that most will never truly break free from it. The main pillars of society being “Victim” and “Perfectionism”. If you can break free from society and it’s programming you will be happy -realizing that it doesn’t matter what I do with my life, I’m already dying and there is nothing to prove to anyone. It will all be over soon so I might as well live in nature and build what I want. Chasing money and success is totally irrelevant. The only thing that matters is presence consciousness and love and connection. Everything society told me to chase is hollow and soul draining. -The importance of the moment, it’s happening for itself and by itself and since we are infinite, the present moment is all there is, so let it manifest as itself and for itself and enjoy. It’s always going to be that way -Becoming a God within my human body, dissolving into the royalty that is God consciousness and allowing it to flow through the body. -Being kind to others. Not because I have to or there is some moral need, but because being an asshole actually conflicts with my integrity and makes me feel a lower vibration. - seeing others as childlike (in a positive way) with that innocence and in a way we are all children of God and brothers and sisters just on our own paths and figuring it out - living with integrity and honesty, no matter what or how painful the conversations have to be. Being someone who inspires people and makes them feel safe. There were more insights but I don’t have the words to even put them here. I feel very proud of myself for reaching these truths while totally sober just doing meditation, yoga, being in nature and staying away from the internet and distractions. I actually did mushrooms one day and all it showed me was that i didn’t need psychedelics at all. Life is the psychedelic journey, just a bit more “sturdy” you could say. But I was high on shrooms and just realized “this is silly, I feel more conscious when I’m sober”. So, hard work and courage pay off, and this is my baseline now, it’s not going to wear off it’s only going to go deeper because I’m never going to give up. I think psychedelics can show you deep awakenings, but what do they really do for your character and baseline consciousness? I think they are powerful tools to awaken, but then you have to be able to get there sober, at best they are doors and motivators, but I’m beginning to feel that psychedelics as a legit spiritual path is not valid. Doing spirituality the “slow” way or walking up the mountain versus taking the helicopter builds you into a fucking badass, you learn deep values, build character, focus, discipline, integrity and understand nuances that psychedelics skip. Would you rather have a 2 minute blowjob from 1000 women or make love slowly for hours and days with your Goddess? Getting to know every inch of her body and hearing all the moans… The enlightened master who lives here is one of the most humble and selfless people on the planet. His whole life is dedicated to helping others awaken safely and with support. But there’s no way he’s awake, right guys? Anyway, hope this helps a few of you, we got this (fist bump). Never give up, listen to your intuition, and follow your heart

So, according to Leo, there is no meta-reality beyond consciousness, we existentially (=ontologically) ARE consciousness. And it is stated categorically with no alternative options. Now, you say that, even if meta-reality is beyond consciousness, it is still the Absolute Truth. A totally agree and I said it before here, but notice that this is not what Leo claims: Basically, if the Absolute Truth is beyond consciousness, then there is no way for consciousness to know what this truth exactly is. And there is no way to know if consciousness itself the final Absolute Truth, or if there are more fundamental layers of Truth. What if all this God-Consciousness-Absolute-Truth which we are so proudly all part of is only a simulation run by AI created by some advanced civilization? oops... I know, I'm writing for the elite and do not expect everyone to understand (because I'm not trying to make money from it ). Leo is good in explaining elementary stuff, no question about that, even though I personally prefer Rupert Spira, he is more precise. There is a lot of modern spiritual teachers talking the same stuff, there is nothing new in Leo's teaching, it's a typical neo-advaita, may be except for the DMT stuff that makes it more fun for youngsters. It's a marketplace with tight competition where smart people are trying to make money on spiritual seekers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's a scam, people do get awakened, so the teachers earn their money, it's a fair job.

Mechanical behavior = running on autopilot Often this allows the expression of negative emotions. Control of, or "holding one's tongue" is not an easy task. Especially when being confronted with something unpleasant. Maybe even an injustice. A quote from Red Hawk- Sometimes I eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats me. My degree of Being fluctuates. Morality is necessary but not sufficient. Awakened conscience is crucial in the effort of raising one's overall degree of Being. I awaken to some extent and then inevitably, I nap,,,, Not expressing negative emotions is very effective for increasing one's degree of Being. Maurice Nicoll- YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 BEARING UNPLEASANT MANIFESTATIONS “One sign of Being is the capacity to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Why is this a sign of greater Being? The answer is that you cannot do this unless you have seen in yourself what you dislike in others...When you have just criticized someone, go over what you said carefully and apply it to yourself. This neutralizes poison in you.” V. 1, pp. 168, 176

Waking up doesn't equate to Growing up. Many supposedly awakened guru's have pretty low ego development and are stuck in blue and orange.

HAHA Nice try. The Truth you are talking about is Consciousness-Awareness-Suchness, Sat-Chit-Ananda. It is formless and boundless. We are all conscious and we are all aware, we all consciously experience qualia that appear in a boundless space of Awareness, so correct: Consciousness is not a concept but a fact of our direct experience. This is elementary stuff, don't assume that you are the only one "awakened" here. What you fail to realize that it is only your belief (idea) that there is nothing that exists beyond Consciousness. The fact that all you can ever know or experience is only the content of conscious experience does not mean that there is nothing beyond what can be consciously experienced (in other words, beyond Consciousness).

But what’s taught here is that there are no other beings to begin with. Only your POV/field of view is all that exists. So if I’m taking a shit in the bathroom and awakened then and there, what beings are there to dissolve into consciousness? None at all.

This is all interesting. But this is conceptualization and living in the mind. The true reality is of being. This simple message will get lost in the unawakened minds that read this. It’s okay. Perceiving others and the world as an illusion is of duality. “Other” is an illusion… that implies there’s another that’s not real. For true non-duality, subject and object have to collapse into one. All is real and all is also not real. True totality must be lived from a baseline of being. What does this mean? The world, the ego and this dream is inclusive of the totality of non-duality. Everything is that. True non-duality is inclusive of ego, creation, other, Self, and no-thingness. Solipsism is only true when totality is lived 24/7, not conceptualized or experienced. You can imagine how hard this is to put into words. But the dream is real and also unreal. Sorry guys. This also means you cannot spiritually bypass humanness. Many awake teachers view themselves and the world as an illusion and think they are above their shadows. They view themselves as the only awake entity in this universe. Hence, abuse occurs in their spiritual circles. Unresolved karma surfaces when awakened and plays out. Seeing the world and others as an illusion is the second step of evolution in perceiving reality. This is where many get stuck. The third step is seeing the world as divine play. The fourth step is transcending and seeing the world as uncreated in nothingness. The last step is seeing that the cause of creation is just pure divine power.

I've been confronting so much fear lately. I've been noticing how it is running my life. Examples of how I was scared in the last few days: In social situations: how I'm afraid of offending someone or causing disruption I was scared and worried because I was procrastinating on some quite important things Big one: I'm most likely going on a student exchange programme for the next semester. Living in a foreign country without anyone familiar nearby, on the other side of the continent. A lot of fears associated with this exchange thing. Soooo much I have to get done. And it's just scary, it's going to be my first time living on my own. Man. But I'm happy it's happening. Long story short I damaged my front tooth two weeks ago. The dentist fixed it for me but it's no longer straight and it literally cannot be anymore. I've always had straight teeth. Now I don't. It hurts. Fear of embarassment, smallness. Insecurity. Anxiety. My mom and sister tell me they can't even see it but I do. I can overcome this fear when I notice it, notice the thoughts and remind myself that this isn't me. I am not from this world, yet I am all of this world. Oh, btw, I had a profound completely sober awakening this week. Deeper than the ones I had on psychedelics. So it's not that I'm convincing myself intellectually that this is not me. Well, anyways, that's not the topic right now. I've been thinking and I'm coming to the conclusion that the IT industry is not for me. I've been studying CS for 2 and a half years already, my parents have been paying for it. But now for the first time in 3 years I harnessed the courage to think about this and notice that I'm NOT about this computer science bullshit. I want to do something humanistic, related to writing somehow. I'm seriously considering becoming a comic, writer. I came up with a life purpose which feels authentic to me. To convey spiritual truths through comedy. Not to brag but I think I have a cool sense of humor, especially like spontaneous responses, people really enjoy my jokes, stories and all. I already have ideas for what I would make shows about. Ok I'm getting off track again. I'm obviously scared of disappointing my parents. Also, they've been paying for my education and I'm finishing it soon. So what, it all just goes to waste? I'm not blaming myself because I think that going into computer science was the best choice I could have made with what I knew about myself at the time. I'm proud of that decision. But now I discovered more about myself and I feel like I can't do this shit. But are my parents gonna understand it? Fear. Fear of not-knowing. Today I confronted it after long contemplation on some matters and at some point I thought: how about I accept that I don't know? Could I accept that I will never know this? Would I accept a life like this? I was scared, but also I enjoyed the thrill of sitting in this not-knowing with fear trying to encompass me. Nodding my head in a social situation when someone is saying something. An unconscious reaction stemming from fear of being cast off from my group of peers. Also I want others to nod their heads when I'm saying something. Credit to Vernon Howard for making me conscious of this, and many other things. I see myself doing this. Now that my front teeth is weaker I literally fear biting my lips and fingers which I've been doing for so long. Maybe it's for the better, lol. My lips and hands don't look so good. Maybe I will stop now. I'm quite nervous. I'm only just learning to seriously notice fear in the moment and let go. I wanna cry right now. I've been noticing and overcoming so much fear with the light of consciousness. Am I getting weak now again? HAHAHAHA. I'm trying to notice it. Lol btw, this year I must have cried like 70-100 times. AAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Fucking fear hahahahaha!!! I love Spotify wrapped so much. Did you get yours? Mine brought back so many feelings and memories. My music taste was so good this year I love myself for it HAHAHAHAHAHAHA About this awakening I mentioned. It was amazing. For a second, I was immersed in a divine ocean of blissful peace and love. I was kissed on the forehead by sweet love and bliss itself. All sober, for fucks sake! My belief that meditation cannot compare to psychedelics has been shattered. I did it with my consciousness, on my fucking own! I remember it. I was contemplating what I am and I encountered much fear but I was able to see through these empty thoughts and let go into this pureness, infinity that I am. Psychedelics awakenings are undoubtedly cool, but here I kind of awakened manually and it was so satisfying and to be honest more beautiful and deeper than awakenings I've had so far. I recognized myself as Existence and realized there is nothing 'other' from me. I am Existence! And this universe is all a dream, it's fucking empty, it's just me. Reality is not real. It's all just me. Again, I am not from this world and yet this world is all that is and all that I am. I am Reality, I am the Source. I was a hidden treasure and I wanted to be known, so I created the world. Words can't describe Me. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. This image goes hard. That's how I often feel now when I look at things. Gosh it's all just so much. HAHAHAHAHA. The Freedom. If I overcome fear, I CAN DO ANYTHING! This is what life is all about!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What are You waiting for? Do You want to be a puppet on strings your whole life?

I feel this is why Neo-Advaita teachings ring hollow for many of us. Platitudes about there being no you sound mysterious and wise, but are they useful? Each being is worthy of honor. You are unique and even holy, because of who inhabits you. There will never be another personality identical to yours, and the spiritual journey of Self-discovery through the lens of your personality is entirely special and your own. Celebrate and respect it. It is not that your personality isn't real, it is that it is only relatively real. The universe and every being in it exist, but they are not absolute. Einstein proved this. Relative reality is in the eye of the perceiver. Space and time are not ultimately real. This becomes obvious when we push space and time to their extremes, at the macro- or micro-levels of reality. Quantum and astrophysics reveal the fraying ends of the universal matrix that we inhabit. Science supports spirituality, beyond what most people realize. Still, science is bound to the laws of the relative universe. The thinking mind will never directly realize Consciousness. It can suggest what is possible, but awakening is inherently non-conceptual. If you have awakened, questions become irrelevant. They are the conditioned mind trying to understand a spiritual experience which is beyond the ability of the mind to comprehend.

By the end of the book I gained the sense that he didn’t really now what reality was and just had a bunch of beliefs despite being hard on beliefs. I can’t help but assume Leo is the same way. I’m throwing you guys out. One minute Leo says it’s just me, next he says it’s just him, then Jed says it’s just him and then just me. But, then he says there could be an infinite amount of absolute consciousnesses, but, wasn’t it just consciousness? I’m not conscious of these things. Then Leo says he doesn’t have his own consciousness. But claims to trip and have God Realizations. Okay, so a dream character is some pseudo teacher for infinite mind to dream some reason it awakened because it had this teacher? That’s weird. And, why me? Why this dumbass? God, ya make no fucking sense! Give me a call sometime and clarify a few things. All I have a are idiots authors and Gurus and I’d like to speak to the real deal. So, basically your both fired when it comes to truth. If God and Truth has a number in the yellow pages please send me the number.

Ego can be split into 3 aspects: 1. We are separate. Stories revolve around why and how we are separate. 2. Emotional attachments to the stories of us and others 3. What Adyshanti refers to as the root identity. This is unconscious and primal. Legit fear of death and obliteration. In the awakened, many have not yet overcome the primary root identity under #3. When that finally falls away, all that is left is no-thing. True non-duality can then unfold. Until then, it’s all just concepts and mind games. #3 needs to truly happen to live and embody non-duality 24/7.