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What does that have to do with this discussion? Did I say you cannot increase your happiness? Your human dream is materially finite. Sorry to rain on your parade. But then again, you already knew that. Next to an alien you are retarded. But again, this should be obvious to you.

That is a moot point because normal life conditions and genetics influence your ability to understand anything. I have no idea if you can or cannot understand Alien Consciousness. Best to keep an open mind about it because you don't know whether you can or can't, and it would be a shame to artificially limit yourself through negative thinking.

So normal life conditions and genetics influence the ability to understand Alien Consciousness? I feel pretty dumb generally compared to most people posting here, I wasn't very well educated, parents are normal people not great thinkers, etc...

All advanced spiritual teachings will only be realized by a tiny percentage of students, for whatever reasons. No news there. If you were mentally retarded you could not make use of my teachings. But many of my teachings are quite simple and easy to understand and start to put into practice. Alien Consciousness -- I don't expect anyone to get that. But understanding how politics works is easy enough. No, I don't consider myself a genius. I'm fairly normal, with some above average intelligence, but not anything crazy. I do not have any special spiritual talents other than 1: an insane, superhuman sensitivity to psychedelics. Psychedelics do not work on anyone else as they work on me. What I can get from psychedelics no one else gets. And that's nothing I did, it's just my genetics. The first time I took 1 hit of weed I tripped for 12hrs. A trip so deep no one here would understand. A trip that renders all human enlightenment horseshit.

One of the things that I have been really struggling with is how to reconcile and integrate the insight that reality is relative into my daily life. I have fallen into the trap of relativism of thinking that everything is relative; therefore, I cannot be wrong about anything. Relativism seems to be a key concept in actualized.org teachings, but I am starting to question relativism because I do not think it takes a full account of Truth. Absolute Truth cannot be conflated with Absolute Relativism. These are different. Relativism fails to take into account that some beliefs are more in alignment with how reality works than others. Relativism seems to apply that everyone is right and nobody can be wrong because it is just their opinion. But one of my objections to relativism is that the fact that we are arguing over something is evidence of a truth beyond relativism. Why argue if everything is just perspective and opinion? Your arguments would be no more valid than mine since it would equate to you being X likes chocolate and me being Y likes vanilla. But there seems to be more to the picture. Objectivism does seem to be true because the fact that we are arguing over something, and the fact that some beliefs and some individuals have greater understanding than others suggests that it isn't all equally relative. That there is some hierarchy of perspectives. But the problem is what is the hierarchy, how does it work, and how do we know? For instance, one person could believe a Lake Monster. They could be right about there being dangers in going into a lake, but they could be right for the wrong reasons. So, instead of it being a Lake Monster, in reality, it was revealed that it was a crocodile. We could also conceive of someone believing there is a Lake Monster when there is actually no threat at all and was just pure fantasy. Do you see how relativism does not apply here. This person's belief has no bearing of truth whatsoever. The whole idea that everyone's perspective has a sliver of truth is a pure fantasy. Someone could believe in space kangaroos or believe to see an alien. People who have massive hallucinations could see these under the influence of psychedelics or under mental psychosis. Do you see how this issue gets more complex? Because now, we are suggesting that the sober state is more true than psychotic/psychedelic state. But this we could say is a relative and arbitrary hierarchy that we are imposing onto reality and truth. But at the same time, we could say that psychotic/psychedelic states are objectively wrong because they are less reliable than sober states of consciousness. We could say from an evolutionary point of view, that non-sober states of consciousness have gotten people killed because their beliefs/actions differed from reality in a way that got them killed (i.e., believing you can fly when you can't- From Forrest Gump). I just see that I get lost in this, and I know that I have not solved this issue because the battle between Objectivism and Relativism is very nuanced. Remember that objectivism means that something is true independent of what you or a society believes about it. Relativism means that the truth of something depends on an individual, society, culture. When it comes to values, I think we could say that these are purely relative truth, or put in another way, we could say that values are objective truths about an individual at that given time. This is because our values will differ across time, so we cannot say that values are solidly objective. But we can be wrong about our own values. So in a way, our values are objective in a sense that we can be wrong about them. What are your thoughts?

Russel Brand has always given me the creeps. The accent, the hairstyle, the attitude. And he married Katy Perry another alien creep. Her alien song where she has lyrics like calling aliens to take her and giving them permission should be banned. Trump is a good match for Russel. No surprises. Even though trump is all these negative things, and he would screw you over if you knew him in RL, most likely, he is highly likeable and has way more personality than Biden. And has an insane knack of energetic mastery, he knows how to play that dream grid and his cards always reign supreme. So he will probably win in 2024.

That's because your mind doesn't work like mine. While you are busy worrying about loving humanity I am busy exploring Alien Love, of which you know nothing.

All the atoms, prisms, networks I imagine to codependently originate each other's existence through this experience, they all fold onto each other, twirl around, turn upside down, this sun that was shining outside of itself now turns inwards and lights itself up. I am exactly where I need to be. All the action I have to take to make a change, I know it, the vivid alien openness that I'm afraid to enter, it's there. I use my karma as an excuse, irregardless of what I am invited to observe. I have to let go of all the ties that make me, or dissolve all the knots I have made through my life or all the potentials and problems left unhandled. All of these ideas themselves don't bind me, only I do using them as an excuse. To learn more, to experience more, to understand more, to distract myself more. There is this overwhelming inner light, and whether it's death, or a barrier, or change, or nothingness, it's the singularity where everything originates. I am humbled, inadequate, using negative terms to bind me so that I do not enter that new dimension. In the end, it is fear.

You don't understand the depth of this! There is no physical 3d space, there's only ideas, your idea of a wall, your idea of parent, your idea of a ball, your idea of a color and these ideas are overlayed over each other like a red lens in front of a green lens, with different the idea of a first special dimension, that is the arrangement of points of color successively in seen through another lens, overlaying by relating each segment across and connecting them to each other so that the pairings are seen as lines in relation to each other and then for each arrangement of all the points across 2 dimensions is each exponentially overlayed on top of itself not just by each universe before it, which is overlayed over each before it for what seems like infinity, and you get lost there trying to get back to 3d space and maybe go to 4d someday, but you don't know what segment of the universe you're a part of anymore and what our physical bodies and senses, the brain, heart, gut and other parts do, is save all that information and holistically interconnect it so that all those previous dimensions are automatically understood simultaneously, so each brain segment is made of neurons to the fractal density that it can become a subconscious substrate to operate automatically and let new focus of new kind of behavior to emerge, our concentration is our brain working on a highly stimulated level in tendon and coherently but is taxed with keeping consistency which creates stress, which is questioning oneself which creates the emotion of sadness or anger, or dissociation which are coping mechanism, coping mechanisms not to go insane, and insanity is being so disillusioned and so self-questioning of so ego dissolving that we don't know where we are because the difference is too stark and one's experiences lag behind the observer feeling and disorientation because a physically visualizable spacial dimension between them of consistent distance has been erected,which is the literal physical distance between brain regions as physical space, but the brain is smooth and round and a 3d shape, that looks were smooth in it's transitions, very elegant is so hyperfractalized that it purely appears seamless, but as a whole in our dimension of size, which the idea of is itself just an IDEA, which is an different unique qualia, en experience, every experience is a qualia, every unique experience (unit) is a physical spacial dimension between every other qualia given the scale of the qualia ever fractalising and physically growing in the process, creating larger brain energy expenditure, which is a drawback, because survival is an idea and that's why ideas are dangerous, because ideas are physical and literal and objective and absolute dimensions and building blocks of existence, they are your relative reality based on the connection between then the literal physically 3d space manifest neurons which are fractals of ideas in physical form in 3d space between which is very importantly distinguished and a strong bond established, which leads them more interconnections and axioms and evolutionary biology figures out a way to transform into physical space for self-visualization, the ego wants to create a physical colorful 3d space in high definition and see it clearly with round eyes and create a physical form in order physically interact with other matter, which is atoms or photons, which because we now believe in, and if we do new brain regions are established, because we still believe we need brains and obey by intuited and nature created laws which are laws we bestowed upon us from when we were like gods because we were conscious beings, creating a simulation of reality for interesting interaction and materialization into physical matter worlds, but in the exploration of their own ego, had to buy into the illusion that reality is physical and real in order to be immersed in it and not just back to home every time they scared whichbis the fear of losing oneself which is a defense mechanism for an idea, because we don't want to get lost, but then we are attached to our parents because we depend on the for survival because we believe we can get lost because our brain grew which was an intuitively DNA encoded idea evolving through the parent, in whatever way biology or spirituality might ever truly know to explain it by going backward in time, which leaves echoes which are an objective reality in our universe... if we believe in it? Or absolutely? Is the absolute even a thing, like true reality? Is there a true reality? Absolutely, exclusionary consciousness bubbles of Gods? That's Leo's epiphany/awakening, no dual insight from his 5 meo trips and now he talks about awakening, and now he's getting epiphany, and now he's telling you about life purpose, and now he apologizes about the way he speaks, and now maybe everything gravitates around a cosmic frequency and harmony that we can merge into if we believe in it? Or have a mystical experience or use our innate inner senses like imagination which is crazy but anything is craziness is wacky, and scary of course because of the fear of getting lost, the pain of physically hurting yourself but maybe more your brain disintegrating, which is a health concern granted our diet and lifestyle but we all die one day, so unless you're fine with becoming nothing and unexisting like the Buddhists to end their suffering that is dying with karma and reincarnation as an animal or something or the physical matter of your brain getting eaten by an animal and integrated unless it's just dissolved by stomach acid but there might have been a stress hormone eaten with the meat that goes into the body and makes out feel bad and depressed eating tortured animals in our modern world and eating tortured meat which contains this physical matter as a chemical formula for a thing that is what we maybe believe it is? (Does belief change physical reality? If we believe it does? Maybe? Absolutely? If we can access that part of the brain beyond the infinite coping mechanism we can reintegrate and fractalize ourselves into an energetic dimension beyond the body and stay alive consciously after death, but as long as there is a psychic identity and desire to survive strong enough to get lost but even if lost can be found by non physical beings who integrate that lost soul being the power of love and the desire for love attracting all things and all universes because love heals and is selfless and wants to heal and our desire or belief in it or ultimately the chance of imagining it into existence appearing and intertwining with the system, we gravitate to it and eventually become one which is god, which ever we choose to visit or actualize, which is losing our identity in the belief of being material, which may be hard, but ultimately there is only one God which is when all other desires collapse, which is the ego, desire, letting go of desire, yoga, chakras, energy centers, psychic energies,is in the body and maybe some imaginary ideas about the connection to divine spirits is merely an attractive force which is strong, not self inhibiting and not closer navigating to an other dimension which could be a mental psychic universe. Where was I? Brain, mind, matter, void, doubt, depression, fear, actuality, dissolution, freedom, higher energy body? How do I get there? When I stop asking myself the question? If the need to resist it no longer arises? When the firing neurons in my brain disentangle these connections, psychedelics, dissociatives? Less ego, more perception, understanding? Photons and our eyes sharing physical reality sure make consensus convenient, I wonder how insane a man by himself could become, questioning and dissolving reality with only one observer, before realizing he's god, which sounds like a fun thing to be once you know how to be it responsibly and not create too many traps and problems, if you're a smart god, then you think of a smarter god, which thinks of the smartest god, which either becomes bored of the process, wondering if he is forgetting about something, visualize this as a float bubble flowchart in the geometrically align arch, imagine a ring of an equal one around that, zoom out again, multiply, keep imagining, train your mind muscles, or transcend the need for them to be limited by physicality and align yourself with your energy body once you realize how to absolutely merge into it, are you still following me, you're hallucinating me into existence in whichever way connects me to you, physical, psychic, universal, random, sensual, visual, emotional, computer pixel reductionistical. I still believe in others, and I believe in 3d space, matter, humans, computers, navigation, forums, ideas, comments, and I guess most of you still make sense of what I say feeling somewhat like me connected to this physical round ball of 3d earth and human ideas. Do our eyes make reality 3d and how does our brain grow into that unless the distance between these two is very short neuronally or what ever elly can emerge out of a single cell, a single human stem cell, a whole freaking other ego, thing, other, connection, alternate self, emerges out of that physical cell into a form like your own unless you don't believe in that and believe you are a solipsist creating a bubble of bare minimum thoughts about superficial perception of others without a coherent holistic holographic understanding that would make a self-understanding ego interesting, once these individuals are materialized enough in our own vortex of torus energy flow our current ego may or may not want to remain individual when merging into gods imitlessness. I don't know how that stuff works and this is so much to take in. Can I see 4d? Maybe, but there's so much information, pixelation visualization without an evolved specialized sensory organ, 4d space, seen as natively as 3d space. I wonder how much of reality is overlayed with visual filters of simplification or geometrical interpretation and mood enhancement. I wanna see 4d space, but how do I even understand it? 4 3D cartesian cubes which represent 3d universes with randomly distributed particles overlayed, assigning each unique colors and keeping in consistency the distance between them to learn to apply laws to, to create universes, first there was the word and the word was god. Let there be light and there was light. Let me look that up. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. God said, Let there be light: and there was light. God saw the light, and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. Oh my god, duality, god, matter, sacred geometry, elements, morality, joy. I have to run through all the mystic and religious scriptures, this is so trippy. How many awakening until enlightenment? Or is enlightenment blissful ignorance, or is being knowing only through self-annihilation, which sounds like something humans are doing for the last centuries. I am logicaling this out so much right now where others would just energetically feel themselves into the intuitive universtanding or figure out a way to bring understanding to them, guess that's the quality of knowledge vs wisdom, vs intelligence, great intelligence may not be very content and peaceful, knowledge is infinite, there is always more, always meta meta meta, knowing. Where was I? Exactly the point, you get lost, that's why we let our brain integrate multi-sense experience and encode those together materializing intuition through known forms broad visualization creation. So many concepts, that's why we create personalities, faces, gestures, egos, and encode understand as personas, makes interaction much easier by known forms coming together, barriers dissolving, self-expanding, dimensional acquisition, unity, expanding into infinity, the nature of imagination, our true higher nature as gods, always becoming more, the alien exists and it is assimilated, this is an infinite process of gravitating ideas floating around encoded by uniting with self-created, conscious entities, creating their own structure and managing the integration of infinite ideas passing the universal barrier that strives for cohesion, creating solar systems,galaxies, universes, multiverses, psychic gods, machine elves, entities, Ra, Seth, Gods, connections across realities through ideas and energy, cosmic energy, gamma rays, is light energy vision or heat or both and what is the darkness, why is darkness scary, alone, seperated, unstimulated, bored, self-referential, gravitational, emotional. Is the sun love or is it a belief or is it in the DNA, or is it projection, or psychic communication, that vitamin d allegedly with all its manifestations across the world and the idea of self and actuality and reality cohesion and culture and so forth. Every thing feels simple compared to this, but it's a mult-sense integration process and memory awareness, wonder how that works. Which really just means that I don't know anything, well clearly something but a confusing something, but at least the nature of it. Madness is the realization how arbitrary all the connections we have made this far have been and how we're keeping them static in our mind with cycles of continuous unconscious awareness and ripples while moving forward. Makes one want to have a simple life. Chop wood, carry water. But then we repeat, dissociate, until self-imposed barriers and energies are dissolved and the universal barrier opens up to new ideas. Psychic energy means access to energies experienced outwardly inwardly. What was I talking about? Infinity is a pattern, consciousness is self-organizing expansion of ideas through infinity and a creative process of integration, internalization and ego creation, imagination, realization, foundation. Psychedelics might simplify the idea constellation or expanding to occur, dissociatives relax the ego, different substances will cause various reaction which ease into a pattern of slow imagination, brain integration. Our brains are made of so many ideas, but we focus our ego on so little, no wonder we get monotonous, stressed, angry, afraid and of course the fear of death, the loss of this idea constellation, all encoded in the lower deeper parts of the brain, less neurons and bridges between them, primal fears of death and loss and void, singularities of fear, I wonder if fear expands as fast as love. We are ESP, sensing auras or perceiving energies, forms, mannerisms, behavior, microexpressions, self-reflection, the world is ideas filtering ideas while expanding its interconnected network of ideas. Patterns, connections between ideas, intuitional, imaginational or sensory projected internalization of sense making and self realizing, old ideas, new ideas, filtered through every lens, distorting perception, fractalization, imagination, pattern realization, interpretation. Psychedelics can do a great many things, disruption of old patterns, creation of new ones, the dynamic brain network evolving. Fractals, mandelbrot, infinitely infinite patterns filtered through all other patterns, fractalizing possibilities. Love, openness, discovery, joy, freedom. I want to learn to navigate extrasensory psychic realities. Aliens. Fear. Defense Mechanisms, self-contructed traps of madness, gravitating prisons of negative belief, boredom. Endlessly, endlessly I contain infinite information, an ever expanding exponentially exponential equation. There is no way you can cram that much information into anything physical as we understand it. Maybe if an atom is a in fact a universe with a huge gravitational center making it look like a ball of energy or a radient energy field, when 99% of the atom is empty and so forth, then this is already a projected merging across knows sensory wave identification visualizing universes coming together through gravitational energy barriers, projecting the already experienced future, to slow down assimilation, There are therefore electromagnetic energy barriers that extend and form a psychic energy field, which forms realities and the absorption and navigation of ideas while integrating and holistically expanding the old ones. That's why we love myths so much, it's an artform, a wonderful sensation, beautiful imagination. Now I'm interested in the esoteric. Everything is true, every reality imagening itself into existence with the same absoluteness as the others willful ignorance but peaceful expansion. Ideas fractalize infinitely and form physical matter to self-navigate as entities, that manifest and evolve many attitudes, Is food made of ideas, and there are also attitudes and self-projected desires and fears, and overlay, interpretation, alignment, evolution, karma, past, We always change, we become the alien, acquire ideas, attitudes, limits, which dissolve, interconnect and self organize to understand through patterns, machine elves, entities, gods, aliens. We are an alien to our limited past,an an alien to the ever morphing future, both projections of the present, but the experience of the newest now is key, only getting more internalized with time, until new patterns and scales of organization overshadow it, the matrix. Star Trek, to go where no one has gone before. Ever new ideas, ever more to experience, integrate, form, energize, maintain. Quite the task. How does one navigate infinity, self-organize, forget, remember? There is no direction, there is no objective universe, there are only ideas, self organizing with new ideas and fractalising upon themselves. It goes like this: There is an idea, there is another idea, the distance between them creates a dimensional distortion, the distance/difference between the ideas decreases. They merge together and create a holistic exploration with new ideas. There is dynamic process, a pattern, an understanding organizing inside the fractal, and that's what you are, ever integrating old ideas while exploring new ones in all dimensions possible, creating intuitions, emotions, visualizations. Everything is energy, is ideas, the force bringing them together and the reactions of integration patterns. Do you know how many yet unimagined senses aliens could have that we're not aware of, so many reality filtering extra-dimensional, extra-ideal lenses. Colors are a continuum, an associatory pattern, just like emotions, insights, creativity, imagination. 60 Fractals per Second. How does one navigate infinity?

This video about Alien civilazation and all the assumptions and rationalization and Hops tha need to be jumped to either create a civilization or find one somehere in the Gakaxy makes me question even more: Is not much easier to create a very Real illusion of a human life being lived in a certain Era with Father Mother Sibilings Culture etc.. and and Ideia of Selfhood? What would be better to go step by step for a long TIME or to make Directly on SPOT, a REal Virtual Reality for oneself with many self channels to interact with?

You left out: Cartoon Wolf Consciousness, insanity, Alien Insanity, Inverse Consciousness, and best of all, I discovered my own form of Alien Love. You guys have no idea that Alien Love even exists. I invented my own custom form of Alien Love which none of you will ever understand.

Solipsism, infinity of gods, alien consciousness. How are we ever gonna catch up? Even if I realize all this in two decades by then you'll have realized even more. By 2045 you'll be a wheel of cheese or marbles that some kids in the ghetto are gambling with. Whats the point of having access to the world's greatest teacher if we are too dimwitted to follow him. Infinite tease

@Chives99 With respect these kinds of posts don't help, you have not said anything nobody has heard before, just a sequence of empty new age cliches. Not every problem can be solved by "loving yourself". If you are a 30 year old man and have only known rejection and indifference from women and society "connection", "love", "wholeness" are alien concepts. People like yourself underestimate the psychological and emotional toll that exclusion has on someone from a young age it just builds exponentially. It's like living with a bad heart or terminal disease, once it happens you are never the same again. The best you can do is find meaning and self worth outside of sex and relationships, without all the spiritual crap that people write mindlessly without understanding themselves. If you had been in the shoes of the people you speak about you would not write what you have written. Women do not have empathy for unattractive, low confidence, women are not lovely and wonderful. Right now, in this very moment a violent, abusive man who isn't filled with love is sleeping with multiple women and has endless options. You make posts like this not out of genuine concern to help but to shut down conversation and put incels in their place. Try being awkward in a London west end nightclub and see how far that gets you.

"theres 3 more to go". this is super arbitrary, you could make levels in an infinite number of variations. waking state. dreaming state. deep sleep. infinite consciousness, god consciousness, solipsism consciousness. nondual consciousness, scitzophrenia, psychotic, ALIEN CONSCIOUSSNESS. wheres your jhana for out of body experiences, or traveling to other dimensions? no states are any more valid than the next one, but some are more valuable for certain things. completing the buddhist jhana journey and enlightenment leads to a cessation of suffering (allegedly), while there are other states of consciousness which are more valuable in accessing truth. some states of consciousness allow you to access telepathy. some states allow you to fucking walk on water or move shit with your mind. you're stuck in a buddhist paradigm

You are falling back into old habits my friend . A primate is a wonderful manifestation. The forgetting aspect is well covered by the nondual primates, although you choose to ignore it. Utterly alien dream/manifestation/illusion. Sure, no doubt you have. It seems to confuse or gaslight (or whatever) you that not everyone gives these illusions the same importance as you do. Appearance = temporary = non-staying = impermanent = illusion = dream. Veeeery importante. Soooo fascinating & interesting. What is the fascination? Another illusion-arising. Moving in Infinite Being. Singing "thunder only happens when its raining" by the River....

Your experience is still absolute and could not be otherwise. However, absoluteness is a very tricky thing. Just because your experience is absolute does not mean stuff can't also be hidden. In a sense everything is hidden from you except those few things you experience. The reason my teachings are not clear is because I've been busy discovering crazy shit that no one understands or talks about. And I don't have a good way of talking about it. I reached levels of consciousness I cannot make sense of or talk about. Utterly alien shit. And I don't know what to do with it. Meanwhile nondualists and Buddists gaslight me at every step.

The more context I gather and the more I feel into it, the more it feels like psychedelics are burning away our karma and the negative resistance and side effects of prolonged usage are really a denial of what seems to be a natural progression to Mahasamadhi. And it would also explain astral projection causing headaches as the mind gets disconnected from the body and needs to reintegrate. I felt several times like I was at the verge of dissolving into nothingness, accessing alien consciousness or desiring to transcend physical existence to break material limitations. At some point, these tools for god consciousness lead to a natural continuation of the spiritual path when the desire for material pleasures fade away as we resolve our traumas and become whole (the whole path of Buddhism and esoteric Hinduism). So then why do we immediately judge side effects as health complications when really it might not be a bug but a feature. Psychedelic kundalini awakening can be pretty anti-climactic though because all desires burn away, but so is grinding after an externalized goal for 20 years to realize it doesn't bring happiness. So my take about psychedelics is, they inevitably lead to mahasamadhi and all negative side effects are resisting and postponing that process in intuitive fear of dissolution, but maybe there's more life to experience so "awareness itself is curative"

Somewhere deep in the woods there dwells a wolf - eyes, a cold, ice blue. He dreams only to devour alien beings. For only aliens can be his prey. This is my spirit animal. And one day the Buddha stumbles foolishly into the wolf's den - but the wolf only stares sharply at him, curiously, and snarls.

Consciousness can increase and decrease in alien degrees. YOU are intelligent enough to reveal that to yourself

@Schizophonia I remember pretending to take psychedelics in a placebo visualization before sleep then becoming lucid in, closing my eyes still seeing the room, opening and closing them to confirm that I can see with my eyes closed, then closing one eye and seeing the inside of some apartment building through it walking around while I was still seeing my room from the other, then I woke up into another dream of the room with warping colors and then I woke up for real. I think we can actually train or convince ourselves into such experiences or maybe it is simply that we have the ability to control and direct our experiences consciously but since nobody talks about it we didn't know it's possible. I was in a forest on LSD once and chanted, focused and concentrated to the point that within my vision, the tree branches aligned into what looked like a fractal space, a three dimensional grid but that grid was made of weird alien forms like hollow hyper-concave geometry. I was able to replicate this somewhat even when sober by staring at the outlines of tree branches for extended periods of time and on psychedelics the effect is enhanced where it forms an overarching structure shaped like a dome made of connected humanoid poses. There sure is a lot to explore in this regard, but it really takes a lot of focus and dedication on my part so I've deviated away from it...

"""God""" showed me this molecule during a dream. It's litteraly the name i got. It was a white powder that i have snorted or smoked (dont remember). The feeling was very strange, not comparable to any other psychedelic. I had "K Hole" and I found myself in an extremely harsh, cold, electric, alien world. I wasn't a person anymore, i was an infinite world of parallel lines going in every direction, it looked like the inside of an alien machine, but infinite or at least non-determined size.

Disclaimer: - Fairytale warning - (Leo, better don't read this. Probably not beneficial for your blood pressure). So here is the fairytale of the Infinite Ocean of Water, Olafs, Alien-Olafs. And Harakiri-Olafs. Lets imagine an Infinite Ocean of Water. "Degrees" of consciousness is like "degrees" of water. Water, steam, ice, snowflakes... and of course: Olafs. Degrees of Olafs: And all Olafs melt in the end: Most Olafs believe they are Olafs (or Olaf-Aliens, or whatever). And not the Infinite Ocean of water taking form/modulating-itself/appearing itself as Olaf. So, what do frozen/imagined Olafs like to do? Most Olafs just play around. Some Olafs get fascinated by Olafs that look like Alien-Olafs. Some Olafs even become Olafs that understand like Alien-Olaf with special Olaf-food. At least parttime. And then parttime Alien-Olafs can see how the Infinite Ocean does the trick with freezing so the ocean seemingly appears like (illusion) Olafs, and how the Infinite Ocean does its trick it to freeze like the appearing snow-worlds in which the Olafs play. And these Olafs then feel wonderful when basking in this revelation of how the Infinite Ocean does its freezing/manifestation/illusion-tricks. But without the special Olaf-food, they feel like ... Olaf. Some Olafs in the next life even BECOME Alien-Olafs. Then some Olafs even realize and know they are just water. In an Infinite Ocean of Water. And do Harakiri by dissolving their old (mistaken) identity as Olaf, understanding and realizing that all there actually ever is, was and ever will be is Infinite nondual Water/Ocean, which can appear as Olafs dancing & playing around in itself, thinking itself to be Olafs. All the while there always is, was and ever will be only the Infinite Ocean. And when there is no snow/ice/manifestation, the Infinite Ocean isn't even aware of itself, because its colourless, infinite and no contrast to perceive ANY appearing ice/snow. Yet it still is the Infinite Nondual Ocean. Always. Eternal. And doing all that realizing/dissolving even before old-ice-Olaf melts in the end. And some stupid Olafs of this kind even dare telling the Alien-chasing-Olafs that they are just Infinite Water/Ocean, so why all the grasping & chasing for Alien-Olaf and its tricks? Why not understand & dissolve Olaf in realtime and relax being the Infinite Ocean WHILE appearing as Olaf? Is Olaf any different than water? If Olaf melts is he dead? Or is just the illusion he thought he was switched off? What was Olaf really? Infinite Water. Or Consciousness. Infinite Consciousness. What is Olaf? What are degress of Olafs (or degrees of consciousness?): Manifestation/appearances of consciousness, manifestations or appearances of Infinite Water/Ocean. Or FORM/manifestation/appearance. FORM. APPEARANCE. TEMPORARY. And nothing more. Illusory and passing/melting expressions of the Infinite Formless Ocean. Appearing illusions made of Infinite Water. The FORMLESS Infinite Ocean is/has no degrees of water/consciousness. Degrees of water (water/ice/snow/Olafs/Alien-Olafs) APPEAR WITHIN "IT", MADE out of "It"/the Infinite Formless Ocean. Which "itself" has no degrees. Its manifestations and appearances do have degrees. And that is what DEGREES of consciousness are. Manifestations. And degrees are not Absolute/Infinite, nor True Being. Did anything really happen with the Infinite Ocean forming & playing Olaf? So, now the big question is: What is more important: Should one now get fascinated and go chasing/becoming the highest Alien-Olaf that the Infinite Ocean of water can manifest? FORM/Manifestation-CHASING. Or maybe just realize that the Olaf one believes onself to be is also only just water? And dissolve ones mistaken/wrong/illusionary identity of being an Olaf and realizing ones True Identity as Infinite Water? Realizing Formless Infinite True Being (Infinite Water/Ocean). Because, Olaf was just an illusion? And then dance and play with Elsa (which is also just made out of Infinite Water, and so on)? Depends on the Karma of the Olaf. Does the Infinite Ocean care if "he/she/it" appears only a temporary snowball, and not a temporary Olaf? Does it fundamentally change the Infinite Ocean in any way? Does the Infinite Ocean gain or loose anything, besides an illusion? Was the ocean ever afraid of appearing as & believing to be just a snowball, ice-crocodile, or an Olaf? Did it ever rally matter? Obviously not. Else, Olaf wouldn't be here! Selling Olafs by the River PS: No Olaf has ever been mentioned by Buddhism. So just that the right -ISM is persecuted. Complaints please to Disney! And what can we do with our temporary Olaf-Form-Appearance-Illusion? For example sing "Let It Go" & dance along with imaginary Elsa!

I have, in a pendulum way, not constant and not full, the opening to the true nature of reality, to what we are: the unlimited breadth, the bottomless abyss. The nature of this breadth cannot be thought, it has to happen in real time and when it happens, you are home, it is enlightenment. If your psyche closes, it becomes dense again, you no longer have it. Your psyche can elaborate anything, but you are separated, isolated, in suffering to a greater or lesser extent. I think this is inevitable being human at certain moments, you know, when your cousin Genghis approaches you smiling, explaining the sophisticated plans he has for your immediate future. But what is the nature of the cosmos? the structure of reality. How and why infinite potential is infinitely coordinated in the unimaginable dance that is manifest reality? interesting question. I would say that it is something inevitable, cyclical and the most strange and incomprehensible, as you said that Wilber said: infinite on its scale. This cannot be understood, it is impossible. infinite multiverses, infinite scales of complexity. infinite minds intertwining infinitely, without ever reaching a limit, because that is not possible. Then, Leo, your alien seems the boss in the high school of his village, but out he is so small than anything else

@BlurryBoi Since you're facing deep existential fears and don't know how to go about surrender, let me tell you a story about my own similar conundrum from half a year ago where I went completely overboard with psychedelics and it was absolutely crazy, scary and fascinating. Everyone on the forum was talking about figuring out reality being a waste of time and the only action to take being surrender. The way I interpreted that was that everything was that everything is an illusion and I was literally meant to dissolve into nothingness, thinking that's the ultimate point of life. So I went ahead and chugged 75g of truffles with orange juice to initiate the gulp reflex in three moves with the sheer intention to let go of everything I cared about, everything I knew, thinking, feeling, understanding and unexist myself. I put on hardcore breakcore music and decided to speedrun letting go. I sat down on the bed and asked myself some questions about god, it seemed like answers were coming through me but from another source. I decided to visit a random actualized.org forum post but couldn't read because it was literally made of hieroglyphs, I focused very closely on a specific segment and it said something akin to "You are not self" and "There is no self", I couldn't read anything around it, it all looked like Allison Grey's secret writing. I lied down, barely managed to find the music, put it on and closed my eyes. I confronted different parts of myself externalized, they took form of alien lifeforms geometrically centered around a specific trait and weakness. The psychic was a fool, the strong one was weak, the loving one was monstrous, the happy one was useless, the content one created backlash, the strategic one was reckless, the alien one I became. For the next hours I found myself in alien dimensions exploring microscopic life, the structure of DNA and epigenetic variability, sacred geometry, esoteric knowledge and non-euclidian space. From time to time I had to run to the toilet and purge. Eventually, I was fine and lied down again. This time, I saw a terrifying monster but I became the buddha, I saw that monster as a distraction from becoming nothing, it had countless terrifying rectangular eyes all looking at me from different angles, but I wondered, a predator would simply kill me, this one looks scary but that's not effective, what's the purpose of looking scary anyway? It's a distraction! So I dismissed it with the peace of buddha and moved away from it. Then it became small and whimpered, like leaving it behind would kill it and it was only trying to survive, but it stood between me and enlightenment, I identified it as not an entity but a materialized mechanic ego defenses mechanism, so I dismissed it and became nothing, but not completely yet. Or at least I was merging in and out of existence. I became a mirror reflection, a crystal, a singular beam of light, the concept of gender, the loop of time, I didn't give up all parts of me yet, there were still lenses through which I saw reality. I saw time as a loop, everything repeating endlessly, every day identical until the end of time, every action taken later forgotten to be repeated, limbo. I needed to find a way to make progress, I would wake up and fall asleep again, waking up in the same loop with the same thoughts but I needed to become nothing. I thought about my parents and how I'd never make progress, repeating the same cycle, never getting anywhere. I woke up for a minute and then get overstimulated to the degree I'd end up in the same bed out of existence, then wake up the same way. I wouldn't know if I was repeating the same thing or actually made a change, but the loop seemed inevitable, I'd end up going through the same motions with the clock pointing at the same time, forever and forgetting, waking up again, putting on socks, preparing to step out of the room, only to not want to meet anyone in that state, going in a circle, but everything back and end up the same way in the bed. Like I'd never snap out of it, limbo. I felt like my kid self, I felt like I really screwed up, I felt like I disappointed my parents, well hypothetically since I'd never see them again stuck in limbo. This kept happening forever. At some point I was waking up for half a second longer than last time, this time I showed myself self-compassion, falling into bed all my worries dissolved and I felt so much love, I saw that love as the point of femininity, that being nothing and needing nothing was one polarity of existence experiencing absolute love and satiation through non-existence, then I woke up and felt stronger and more capable and saw this as the point of masculinity, making progress and the capability of bearing ever greater burdens and feeling equal but opposite maximum love as a result, maxing out my potential and capacities. I oscillated between nothingness and reality materializing for ever greater periods with ever greater capacities for activity and experience. I felt perfect because nothingness was absolute love but so was somethingness, the only problem would be to expect something of myself that lied outside of my experience but since reality was such a small bubble at the time and I was all of it at all times, I felt content. Eventually I returned for much longer periods, and my field of perception returned from being a vibrating sea of liquid mercury making up all surfaces into their normal detailed forms. I was disappointed, because I now experienced there being reality outside of my field of awareness, but on the upside I was now back to being able to make sense of reality and being aware of all the parts of life I lost. I looked at the clock, 6 hours had passed. This might have given me some existential angst, but really I was fine afterwards, a little traumatized maybe, but it was also deeply exhilarating. In retrospect, it was that time loop that was the worst imaginable thing to me, but every other part was amazing. Well, there was another part I didn't mention where I had the idea that every possible belief and counter-belief had to be true simultaneously and there'd have to be a transcendent one that included both and I could not utter a single word or concept or idea without compulsively accounting for the opposite anti-idea and making everything Non-Dual. What I learned from succeeding trips, dissociatives, new paradigms and self transformation: What doesn't kill you (or cripple you) makes you stronger, but you can be tempted to end yourself Psychedelic love is addictive, you need to find the traumas the keep you from it when you're sober Dissociatives are great tools for detachment and as a result finding all the resistance blocks inside If you do a lot, you'll go through a Dark Night of the Soul, fighting apathy, anhedonia, meaninglessness You can end up feeling utterly worthless and incompetent, feeling like you're the worst person alive You can also experience lots of fear, paranoia, projections, hallucinations, shadow entities and scary stuff You need to build up a universal sense of awareness and observe whatever happens with control and contentment Dissociatives are more effective at dealing with trauma, while psychedelics raise awareness and access new paradigms Dissociatives still need awareness to keep up that state of mind and face the underlying trauma and resolve it for good Combining dissociatives and psychedelics responsibly makes for a great combo for the release of the authentic self That combo specifically overrides self-suppression, confess all your reasons you are the way you are when on them Honestly look into your past to find the root of your beliefs and reasons you self-suppress in the present These are tools, you can do without, but they're powerful catalysts that overpower those barriers that keep you shackled This trip helped, but it took many many more to heal me and lots of self-understanding and experimentation My suggestions: Learn the basics of IFS Therapy off YouTube, it's a good framework for self-understanding, compassion and healing Experiment with reasonable amounts of Dissociatives, but remember that you're supposed to feel that way sober Set time aside, set and setting matter a lot, don't judge yourself too harshly, observe arising emotions Understand the sources of your troubles, be honest, be shameless, at least with yourself, be unreasonable but truthful Journal, take a look at your past, your motivations, your desires, what you authentically love and want and yearn for Sometimes, you are the one separating yourself from parts of yourself and seeking them in the outside world. In those cases, you can give up the pursuit and find them inside, but this costs emotional labor and feels deeply dissatisfying. Dissociatives dissociate you, psychedelics raise your awareness, use them for understanding and detachment to see yourself from the outside are that desires are a part of you but you are not your desires and you are the one separating yourself from happiness without being aware of it because you are tying your joy to an external experience you can't access and that is what you need to let go of and surrender, that's why it's hard. The nature of surrender is giving up the pursuit of the things you seek on the outside and instead focus on the process of living instead of achieving, this can feel deeply dissatisfying at first, because you are giving up on your passions, or at least that's what it feels like, but actually you're just giving up on the results, instead choosing to focus on the process and finding joy in it instead of needing the outcomes for happiness. You also need to become more self-compassionate and this can look selfish, you need to put yourself first. Your entire life may change, but is knowing more ever a bad thing? It gives you choices, options and understanding, if nothing more, seek self-understanding of what makes you you. As Leo once said "Awareness itself is curative" if you do enough of it.

@BlurryBoi Ketamine and other Dissociatives, if used responsibly in moderate doses are actually an amazing tool. Instead of expanding your perspective and shooting massive waves of energy through you, it relaxes your mind and body and externalizes your attachments, so you can view them from the outside. Your intuition is hypercharged, you do things naturally using your intuition more so than conscious thought. You are more in tune with your authentic self, but unlike psychedelics, instead of perceiving and understanding it, you simply become it. It kind of feels like you're on autopilot to some degree. This can become an addiction if you don't focus on understanding and integration, but it's a huge relief and you can simply be yourself without judgements, those are stripped away from you, you get to experience what being at peace is like. It's important though to find out exactly why that is not your default state and figure out what is blocking you and what events in your life made you that way. I recommend IFS Therapy, you don't need to visit a therapist, just learn about the concept and work through it yourself. It did wonders for me. Dangers: Like alcohol, your mind can become incoherent in higher doses, just like any other class of drugs, benzos, opiates or heroic psychedelics doses you can become overwhelmed and dissociated enough that you temporarily forget who you are, where you are, etc. and can do nothing beyond lying around daydreaming, not being able to make sense of your environment. This is not to discourage you, just like with every other drug, be careful. Double check and read trip reports and dosages, though as long as you stay within the dose range on the Psychonaut Wiki, you should be fine, start small and get a sense of the experience. My first time was confusing and disorienting, uncomfortable, like an alcohol buzz. My second was also weird, but I gained an appreciation for the intuitive auto-pilot and absence of the perfectionism that was stifling my activities. The third time I overdid it and couldn't make sense of my environment, feeling like a lost child in an alien world. After the fourth time, I felt anxious and incompetent for the next two months, because I realized how much my fears had been holding me back my entire life and how little I know about life and how everything works and how open and curious I become on dissociatives. Some following trips made be revert into a vulnerable, sad and afraid child, I needed support, surrounded myself in comfort and watched some movies, taking psychedelics during that trip lead to a full blown psychedelic throat chakra kundalini awakening where I felt like my authentic self for the first time in my life. Lately, one trip led me to anger and mania to transformed my grief and low self-worth into action and passion, self-introspection revealed deep childhood trauma and I grew as much if not more than on psychedelics. At this point, I can do all the things I learned on dissociatives sober, or on light/micro doses, but there's always new things to learn and paradigms to transcend. I wish you good luck if you do want to try, don't overdo it, but also don't give up to quickly, but also be responsible, but also be intentful and aware and remember my experiences, at least that's the advice i'd give my past self.