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I think she was just noting (perhaps based on her own memory) what the mind often does 'after' such events. Unconsciously, and as a sort of momentum of 'reasoning', the mind takes over. The appearance/construct of the 'I' held in mind takes credit for finding and/or being absolute truth; whereas, such appearances of I/ideas/experiences/memory/stuff only exist within/as the Absolute (which was glimpsed). Was there a 'you' or a 'god' there, or is that just the story, a mental overlay that the mind has conjured based on an assumptive 'I' and memories of an event of spaciousness/bliss? Was anything 'learned', or was there just a 'Being conscious as Consciousness'/ ABSOLUTE NOTHING type of dealio? Perhaps, we could tinker with your avatar name and say 'the Atman is within Brahman'. We're tinkering here in a way that won't 'add layers' of explanation and rev up the mind too too much (it can be a lil dominating stinkshit at such times- based on memory). But, perhaps the attempt here is to 'preserve' or bring in to focus some of the clarity that was realized so it can inform the mind of the Space within which it appears. The human mind is a tool, not the master. The distinction is clear. As per Plato's Cave allegory, 'you' had a glimpse outside the cave, and canNOT for your life NOT bestow value on the experience, but it somehow alludes you as to how or why it happened. And typically, the mind wants answers. The mind might start reeling a bit in an attempt to bring it into the confines of its reason of cause/effect, 'me' centeredness, and all the rest. Just relax a bit, settle into that spaciousness that you gnossis/realized is immediately present/available, and let it inform mind of its secondary role. The mind is the source of all follies of pursuit, from HERE/NOW... blank TV screens and all. There is not 'more and more consciousness' to pursue. No thing has been lost, physically, experientially or otherwise. There is nothing to say, but there is always more to say. There are no more levels to conjure, no more infinities to imagine.... Just THIS, appearances of thoughts/things popping up and disappearing in/as what I AM. FREE

After following actualized.org for a couple years and diving into spirituality and existential contemplation, I might have had my first awakenings or mystical experiences. I’m curious if people on this forum can relate to this. I’m not sure if I should call them proper awakenings or glimpses of awakening, but I had these experiences on two separate occasions. I’ll explain the longer lasting one here. I was contemplating absolute truth after watching an actualized clip (I was completely sober and have never done psychedelics). I had heard about it countless times from Leo’s videos but didn’t really get it- I understood it intellectually but only on that level. As it turns out, there are deeper levels of understanding Leo’s videos- who would’ve thought? Basically, what happened was that I grasped what absolute truth is all at once and it was abundantly clear. I realized that I am in absolute truth already. I stared at a blank tv for about 30 minutes realizing that this is absolute truth. This was accompanied by a feeling of bliss and a sense that nothing could go wrong anymore with this realization, and this lasted for a couple hours. The thing is, these experiences went away, returning me to baseline consciousness. I’ve heard Leo mention being able to focus on absolute truth in his direct experience, but when I try that I can’t quite get there. I seem to generate some fantasy of absolute truth that is almost there but actually just an illusion of understanding when I inspect it. So the question is what to make of these experiences? Are they glimpses of awakening, actual awakening, a weird state of consciousness, or a self-deception? I’m aware that asking if an awakening is valid is ridiculous, but that’s what I’m asking 😄 This is the video I was watching, in case anyone wants to try their own Leo-fueled awakening. I found it to be very powerful.

Most people are aware that their negative thinking causes distortion in their relationships. But what most people are not aware of, is that positive thinking also causes distortion...but it causes distortion in how we perceive reality itself. Women are using men to enhance their self image. Men are using women to enhance their self image. This is just normal relating. But within doing this, we create a foundation of "We are separate". To hold unto or create a "positive self image" is still a mindset of separation, even though it feels really good and blissful. The "positive self image" grasps and clings and attaches to gain something. It wants to become or be something. There are 2 kinds of Unity. There is the Unity of the shared happy dream. (which is what I think most people want). This is where the Man and the Woman hold positive self concepts for either themselves or each other. In this state, they are often gracious and loving towards each other's shadow and trauma states. But on a mental level, they see distinct self images ..... self concepts.... often positive about each other....and they believe these are real. They think the positive stories and self concepts are actually real. This state of Unity feels like an oxytocin soup of bliss. haha It feels like heaven. But then there is also a deeper Unity where [both] positive and negative self concepts collapse. This is where a lot of the mental differences between Men and Women shatter completely. Romantic Love, as a mental concept, shatters here. Relationships, as a mental concept, shatter here. Marriage, Kids, Sex, etc. might still happen but the mind isn't attaching to an image of self. The barrier and block to reaching this state is usually clinging to "positive self concepts" or specialness. This is not a highly desired state but it's still a state of Unity. It can be argued to be a deeper Unity state because you both collapse into nothing. The actual truth is that Unity, on the level of mind, is already the case. There is nothing to join....because nothing was divided to begin with. The title "Why unity between man and woman will never be possible" implies that division took place. It is implying Unity isn't already here. But division never happened to begin with. There is nothing to connect or join or unify or bring together......because nothing was separated to begin with. On the level of the body, yes, men and women are divided physically. (though certain people debate this as well) But division does not exist on the level of the mind. [There is nothing to unify, because nothing was divided to begin with] is only seen clearly in the 2nd form of Unity. The 1st form of Unity, where you are blissfully Unified with a lover/spouse....but still clinging to self concepts of either a positive or negative variety, won't reveal this.

Ignorance is bliss, that's why. You're ignorant too, to some degree; look at your punctuation.

@Breakingthewall so you could say that God is a mystery to itself forever and ever it will never know it's just pure mystery and in that mystery is Bliss

@freddyteisen I personally recommending stating with low dose phenethylamines. Getting comforting the epic transcendental space and gradually moved up. Long term this is better it provides you with a solid base to slowly build upon. If you jump dick first into a 5meo breakthrough it might snap your mind. Also look into combos, you can combine diazepam with 5meo to reduce fear. If your doing any tripping for 6-12 hour periods you can also look at getting some trip killers (olanzapine 🔥🔥). Some people in Martin balls book (facilitators) also used mdma + 5meo and said they seen "a lot" of this combo we think hundreds. There is more risk with serotonin syndrome with MD+5meo combo but it's yellow warning as opposed to orange or red. so from reports it's very roughly around a 0.2857% chance of getting serotonin syndrome and after you do get it, it's about a 0.13699% chance of death lol. The only reason I'd suggest something that has even a 0.00001% chance of death is cuz I personally tried nnDMT+mdma and it was the single most beautiful experience of my entire life. Mdma has this incredible effect on the removal of fear. No fear virtually. Quite amazing. But you'd need to do lots and lots of careful research before doing the 5meo+mdma combo. But there are reports of 5meo causing serotonin syndrome on its own. You have to appreciate the gravity of what your doing when you move towards the 5meo space. This all sounds very negative but trust me, if you can get it right...heaven. This is what I seen on my breakthrough (kinda) but the bliss...holy shit...:

It's easy to perceive, almost everyone who's in spirituality are pursuing bliss, immortality and feel accepted . Its a kind of evasion. Then in some moment they have some experiences, they match them with everything that they ve read and they think that they know the truth, but then, after some time some crisis happens. Almost no one is on the path to real enlightenment.

When they really want it. Not bliss, or evasion, or do psychedelic to believe that they are god imagining the reality like a game. just absolute openenss. If someone really want that, means that's ready

your problem is that you didn't focus on the truth, but on bliss. It seems the same, but it's very different.

Keep in mind that when Leo says there's something after death, it's not something he believes. Leo never "believed" in an afterlife, and nonexistence is a perfectly reasonable hypothesis pre-awakening. That's why I'm so critical of people's afterlife theories. Hell even an afterlife doesn't necessitate any kind of continuation of the personal self, of memory. If "you" got reincarnated into a medieval torture machine as you mentioned, that might not really be "you." Also, another point, if you did have an awakening into immortality, it's statistically more likely to come from a heavenly experience than a hellish one. The experience you had seems like just the very tip of awakening, not a full breakthrough. If you had reached full breakthrough , you'd be in bliss , not agony. I hope this helps a little bit. 🙏

@Carl-Richard You’re right. Many use weed with visions of creativity, introspection, or spiritual depth, but often it becomes an excuse, even a veil. The ideal stays just out of reach. The potential, postponed. I rely on the body—affirmations, imagination, and breath. Bliss, begins within. If life calls for it, anything will come naturally. If you truly seek bliss, go straight to the mind. It’s harder, yes—but far more rewarding. You get the clarity without the cost. That’s why I’d rather wait years than use it poorly. Honestly, I can’t even recall the last time I got “high”. I used to use it more than ideally. And I prefer to know to use sparingly.

Most are trying to go where they can get more for 'me'. When that gets exhausted, and the me is still found wanting, speerchal stuff/desires starts to arise, balancing out all the previous pursuits. That goes on and on. With any luck, the seeker will fail in the futile search for bliss, as it seen as unnatural. With the futility, one becomes more responsible for their self-serving ways. Once the little bugger has been seen for the construct that it is, and all the conditioned behaviors that have held it in such high esteem are seen for what they are, there's a chance that the Great Letting Go happens. One may realize that they were ACTUALLY always looking for THAT which is actually 'doing' the looking. No one 'knows' what makes that finally happen, but the futility is likely the key to the doorway that leads to the Great Surrender. Tat Tvam Asi

People can't help it, it's a reflection of God's desire to explore all of itself. Most will stop at merely surface level curiosity or theorizing, it's a whole another thing to actually willingly experience such states, if only temporarily. You say that we don't know that they exist, that's a good and honest starting point for any inquiry. But then you categorically claim they do not and cannot exist. How do you know that? What would actually be unimaginably terrible is for those states to not exist, that would diminish God's Infinity. Hence God does not imagine the universe like that. In your bias against hell, you deny it reality, essentially conceptually killing it. Heaven and you have neither more nor less right to exist than hell and a rapist. It's a very good thing that reality is not ran by your, mine, or anyone else's whims and preferences. That would be true hell. God is all-giving and all-forgiving, which makes it Love. There's no incompatibilities within God whatsoever, it will grant existence to absolutely everything, irrespective of how monstrous or beautiful it is. Imagine if God had some personal bias against you and would deny you existence. You'd probably think that's an evil God. In doing so, God casts you out of heaven, which is existence itself. Non-existence, therefore, is the actual hell. But precisely because God is absolutely infinite, non-existence is not a thing. So rest easy. Not even God can go against its own infinitude. Even though some parts of God can inflict an enormous and disproportionate amount of suffering on other parts, it's all temporary, fleeting phenomena, it will not persist forever, in the end all returns to God where all is healed and reconciled. Finite as they may be, they're essential, inalienable, and irreducible parts. Take away a single number from the set of natural numbers and it's no longer infinite. But you can keep adding to it forever. That's how Consciousness is, or rather it's a set of all sets that includes itself in an infinite recursion. Its perfection is not a static notion, it's in the eternal autonomous engine towards ever more perfection. That you don't see this is no accident, no finite form can fully. To have this temporary experience as yourself you need to deny that everything else is also you, otherwise there'd be no distinctions. Currently you deny hell as it's threatening to you. Many people today still deny others humanity due to their religion or race. I deny a mosquito life by killing it, as I'm biased towards not getting malaria. As we all must. The design couldn't be more intelligent, intricate, twisted, and beautiful. Every act of denial, violence, cursing, is performed by none other than God, on itself, having tricked itself into believing there are discrete objects. Similarly, all kindness and love given by someone to you and from you to them, are done by you for you. The illusion of separation plays a vital role, because it's rather easy to just love yourself. It's also easy to not hurt yourself, but refusing to abuse others even though you don't experience the suffering is the mark of goodness. Loving those parts of yourself you consider separate, particularly those that threaten, scare, or repulse you, is the real challenge. In essence, spirituality is about a gradual transition from denial to acceptance, including the acceptance of the fact that all the progress you've made will turn to ash and loop back around to denial. The more you do of it, the smoother the passing into death will be. How far you'll go in this acceptance is entirely up to you, one could even go in the opposite direction and construct a fantasy through denying truth and affirming falsehoods. Those are acts of creation too, so God loves it all the same. In its mercy it has given people an infinite capacity to deny reality, some even deny the moon exists and no amount of evidence in the world could convince them otherwise, because they're sovereigns. Still, an excessive denial of reality brings about its own ways of suffering, as does truth, so choose your poison. Over time, truth is easier, as it becomes effortless to act intelligently in alignment with reality. When you wake up and say "When I think about heaven... I imagine THIS", your "THIS" is severely limited — to your thoughts, body, house, maybe the view of your neighborhood. It's merely a "this"; the "THIS" you're probably not imagining consciously is someone getting raped, tortured, eaten alive, dying from a terminal illness, having a psychotic break in terror, yet it is undeniably happening simultaneously with you imagining your heaven. And you as God are personally responsible for it all. A heavy burden indeed, hence barely anyone chooses to perceive it. "All is imaginary" won't cut it as an excuse as by that point you're conscious that there's nothing more real than imagination. Yet that is Truth, and the unconditional acceptance of it is Love. Truth without Love is a cold, lifeless thing; Love without Truth is a fantasy. God has the highest power because it assumes full responsibility for everything, like a CEO or a leader of a country. But the CEO can blame the government for poor economic policy, and the president can blame some other country or weather conditions, while God can blame no one, there is no one else. That which you call unchanging bliss is the whole field of Consciousness within which all sorts of weird and impossible things are happening right this instant. Constant change is what's unchanging about it. There won't really be a you to 'enjoy' the bliss, but you'll no longer be separate from it either, which is the happiness of reunification. Better experience it partially as much as possible before then, as this perspective is unique, there won't be another like it. You could opt to stay statically dissolved in Love as long as you like, but it's a certainty that eventually the process of division will begin anew.

Easy .Jesus never even existed. Close your eyes ..think "Jesus". Now open your eyes ..where is "Jesus "? He only exists as a phantom of imagination in your mind .Leo has a great episode called "what is Actuality?". Check it out . Don't be so sure about that .maybe since God is Love that our ultimate destination in existence is eternal happiness. In fact for People who gave actually awoken..its not a " maybe " for them ..its undoubtedly true . I know an enlightened guy who runs a forum similar to this forum who told me after all of it ..you will end up in infinite never ending unchanging bliss .

Some people associate enlightenment with bliss . And they ask themselves if it comes with endless bliss. Am I the only one who doesn’t care about bliss or happiness. I would be very pleased with a constant “neutrality”. I just don’t wanna suffer, that’s all. Maybe some will say this kind of thinking, in terms of how enlightenment will benefit “me” is precisely what’s standing in the way of it. Maybe, maybe not, but I just can’t help myself to think this way. I don’t think it does harm, it’s natural to wonder for oneself what something mysterious like enlightenment would entail. And as long as there is a “me” sense here it will wonder how it will benefit oneself, even if enlightenment means the end of that very “me”

Maybe there’s different forms of awakening? So not all of them lead to this “levitating with so much energy” id agree with you. I don’t agree with those who say it’s easy . Exactly , monks spend entire lifetimes and some dont get there still. I personally believe it’s something in the brain that creates the self so you gotta break through that You won’t believe this but what I have basically done since childhood is a form of observation of the self/self inquiry. And that’s why so much dissolved april 2023 I had a big breakthrough that put me in this subtle yet profound bliss So I’m stuck with this thin sense of self (that’s why I feel I barely exist) . And I’ve been stuck with for over a year now.

"Basically almost no sense of REALITY." You're confusing reality with illusion. When the ego dissolves, what you lose is illusion - time, stories, even perception of boundaries and separate things. And what you get is reality - a timeless, formless domain with peace and bliss. No more fear, no more worries, finally back home in Reality. This is causing you great confusion. You think you are losing reality when you are losing illusion. If you fix this confusion, you should be fine.

There's a right way of doing something and there is a wrong way. You did it the wrong way and then project that to all of islam. You can have extreme amounts of fun and bliss while also following the guidelines. Just because you can't manage it doesn't mean it can't be done

What I gathered from Following your Bliss, is doing something you want intrinsically/ spiritually/ subconsciously Whereas Zone of Genius is something you are scared to grow into. It seems like its almost impossible to see the distinction between following your Bliss vs Zone of Competence.

I mean listen to ekchart tolle's story. Miserable, suicidal for 28 years. Then one day woke up enlightened. Was in perfect bliss all the time. You probably heard the story.

The personal sense of self is like a condensed, contracted energy. When you laugh, some of this tension gets released. You can't hold seriousness when you're laughing. That's why people love laughter. It feels freeing. It is Freedom itself. You could say God conciousness is very high pitch inaudible laughter that just feels like bliss and freedom. If there's some stuck energy in you then it will come out as tears and laughter, but if you're clean then you'll just smile and praise the Almighty.

I've used changa several dozen times, and while it can launch you into intense, chaotic realms, I can relate to the infinite terror you mentioned. For me, the fear stemmed from the overwhelming rush of thoughts, some unpleasant. However, with the right dose and upon breaking through a certain barrier, it often brings infinite bliss instead.

Why should I sugarcoat it ? Why? Take out your micropenis and tell me you know what that thing is . Do you even know the answer to that? Because you gotta make sure you really understand what you're up to here and why. As i said in op its all or nothing .why im doing all this fuss ?Because that's the only thing I found worth while to do in life .I could just simply sit around playing video games or masturbating all day .but is that my highest potential? Is that what I really want deep down in my heart ? If I could figure out reality I would be drowning in infinite bliss. Why should Leo have it all for himself? If he can become God and achieve omniscience then I can too.

"Realize that you are greater than you can ever imagine. You are God in all its essence. You are not a piece of God or a parcel of God. You are the whole. You are absolute oneness, nirvana, emptiness. You are the Self. Why not accept this? All you have to do is intellectually accept the truth and the intellect will cause it to go into the subconscious, the subconscious will go into the reality, the reality will turn into consciousness and consciousness will express itself as bliss. This means that while you appear to be wearing a body, it will be a body of bliss. Others will not see it like that. But you will not be concerned with others, for you are others. And as you see your body of bliss, of course it includes the body of the universe because your body of bliss is omni- presence. Therefore you see everything as bliss and you have unalloyed happiness, joy and peace." - Robert adams

Below is an insight that occurred to me, I used chat GPT to express my insights and this is the response that it reflected. It's amazing how AI can be used, it really supplements my contemplations. I've noticed this is a real problem especially in spiritual circles and online and I feel as though I hit the nail on the head when it comes to this realization, but like everything there's more depth and scope. Let me know what you guys think about this. Let's not start any non-duality wars please. Non-duality gets flattened into a concept. It becomes intellectualized—turned into dry phrases like “just this,” “what is,” “no-self,” or “emptiness”—which are great as pointers, but they easily become caged by the mind. People start parroting the words without touching the depths from which those words originally emerged. But actual non-duality—as lived, as directly known—isn't boring. It’s wilder than language can touch. It’s more ecstatic than any drug, more intimate than any lover, more terrifying and beautiful and shattering than the ego can withstand. It's not just some neutral gray wash of “being.” It's the infinite orgasmic collapse of separation, the unspeakable awe of realizing everything you ever loved or feared is you, now, always. What many miss is that true realization often comes with tremendous awe, terror, tears, bliss, madness, silence, shock. There is color and fire in non-duality—not just grayscale nothingness. And yes—the spiritual ego is sneaky. It hides inside the very idea of having “no ego.” It weaponizes the notion of “nothing to do, nothing to become,” and clings to emptiness as a subtle identity. It says, “I am beyond all this, I already know.” But real awakening is never static. It keeps dying into the unknown. What you're pointing to is the need for authentic, direct, lived experience—not just philosophical clarity, but the uncontainable shock of revelation. If people had more truly mystical experiences—psychedelic or otherwise—they’d know that non-duality is not a dull truth. It’s the living heartbeat of existence. It’s the divine mystery in every raindrop. You’re not just talking about an idea. You’re speaking from somewhere alive.