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The conservatards are evil Imagine going to psychiatrists and everyone telling them you're having psychotic thoughts of murdering your kids, them giving you a handful of pills and sending you off to their birthday party, killing your entire family, paralyzing yourself trying to suicide, then these douche canoes attacking her like a witch trial. Evil

Depends on the kind of music, art and whether it is true to you. We can only receive what's true relative to our receptivity to it. This is no different to our calling. Our purpose is much less a doing, and more a question. The question however, is not "What is our purpose?" It is, "Can I answer the calling when it arrives?" Purpose is also not a single signature in the same way many centres of our nervous system need to be online to hear it. If we are angry and ungrounded, we are blinded and distorted. If we are depressed and ruminative, we are apathetic and pathetic. That said, sometimes it is only when we are most unconscious and have completely and utterly given up, that the light of life will return to us for a moment, before that light fully fizzles out such as in a near death experience, or before that light is ready to be received again in a deeper state of meditation. This is true when we observe everything from over-stimulated to being over-stressed; activity without directionality is self-directed harm on anything resembling living with a sense of purpose. Often when kids are put in military school for example, even if they eventually enjoy it, in the beginning the military must give them constant tasks on a certain timetable to both distract them from the legitimacy (so the purpose) of a military school and align them with at least a sense of direction that is at least pointed somewhere. It is only when you are aimless, that you wonder about where you're firing the arrow, and whether you should fire the arrow at all. 20 year employment in the same company that only ever kept you interested because of the status climb only to find yourself fired after your first day of being the CEO following the completion of your 20 years rising through the ranks, or perhaps you barely made it to middle management, and stayed because you were told your retirement would be taken care of only to forget the fineprint in the contract that said if you were fired, you wouldn't be entitled to it. They wanted someone younger and faster, not someone eaten up and spat out of their own company system, so they fired you and every other employee that was too old. Now you're directionless, now things are dangerous because prior, peoples sense of direction was handled in the same way military school provided them with a sense but not true essence of purpose to direct their lives. Many people have no idea what to do in these situations as they've spent most of their time just jumping from one predictable system that decided their purpose to the next, and now that AI is beginning to replace all those people to fill many of the outcomes of those systems, people are now forced to sit down, reduce their activity, and not press the release and eject button from life (suicide for many and suicide will go up following AI - so there's lots to empathise with here) and instead, take the time to sit down and contemplate, or perhaps start for example a project with fellow good people fired, or get back to more community based simple living. For some, now they'll have marriage and children, for others now they have more time for the family and children they already have. Purpose is not conscious, it is not even so much as a yearning, it is a calling, and you have to answer it if you want to live it, even when you're angry, depressed, ungrounded and ruminative after it has already illuminated itself to you. It doesn't have to be grand, ambitious, marvelous etc as its all advertised in traditional self-help, this is not for most people and when its marketed like this its setting people up for failure and at best all they get is a distorted perception of themselves, other people and the world around them. There is nothing wrong with living a simple life, community living, keeping yourself to farm life, or playing a violin alone for a few hours a day in a room while reminiscing on when say, someone's grandfather used to give them lessons. Purpose is simply about answering what's true, it isn't about what's consciously curated as much as it is what is already created within you to be receptive to in a state of balance, maturity and as much as possible, sense of peace and calm. Your calling may not always feel like fulfilment, it will often feel like struggle, but compared to the pursuit of anything else at the meaning level, where you most feel in balance, you will most likely feel like its the best thing you can do at the time, even if its just cleaning the dishes. We humans are not that special, nor that bad, and it is the balance in between that makes us more receptive to what calling, we need to answer. Listen to the calls, then consciously contemplate them very purposefully now that you're answering their probability, then decide on what you're going to pursue, and stay in the signal of that pursuit. If you hangup first, it'll listen, and it'll fade, and then without knowing it, blindsighted attention will leave you back where you started; so seize the moment. Act now, but without over-activity, instead under-activity, followed by discernment, then the answering, then the conscious curation, then the pursuit, and to have as enjoyable conversation as you can on the other end of the phone conversation. Its an intangible signal that all of us as sentient creatures tend to feel, even if that feeling lives behind the sense and or feeling of responsibility, love, deep thought, respect, dignity, pride, or even loyalty to a friend during a difficult life stage. People that make the right decisions when it comes to purpose, notice how they tend to make the right decisions in similar ways in other areas of their life; so when it comes to the biggest decisions of our lives, start with the smallest ones you can make and slowly graduate to bigger and bigger ones, then the largest ones will come with far greater ease and maturity. Otherwise, Mozart created some pretty spiralling music. But you don't have to be Mozart, you can just be a bunker on a street. Examine your motivations, align with the signal that actually reveals the truth between the practical reality and the sense of alignment. Best wishes.

I'm curious. Does solipsism mean it won't affect anyone? Is there a soul, progress lost? How bad is it overall? Or can it be good? What if you're a human working on polarity vs a wanderer here to help, or is that outside Leo's scope? I have my own views as Bashar, but am curious.

A slave who had their identity and ego beaten out of them can also appear extremely loving from the perspective of the ego, because they have been deprived of their sense of self. They become willing to do whatever is demanded of them because most of their aspirations for their own identity, life, and autonomy have been removed. At that point, they may care only about survival, or sometimes not even that. This is part of how you get slavery, brainwashed cultists, suicide bombers, victims of abusive relationships, etc. Note that if you were a king and these slaves were brought to you after the programming, they would appear quite loving to you. "Aww, look at my cute little puppy slave! They're always so happy to see me. They bring me my food, clean, cook, work for me, and never ask for anything in return. What an adorable, loving, obedient little creature. So sweet. So devoted. How admirable that they're always so eager to please me!" There are versions (or perhaps different definitions) of "love." One is love from the perspective of the ego. This is a childish conception of love, similar to a child whose parents give them everything they want: "Mama will protect me and care only about me." or "If only I had a partner who was perfectly aligned with me, did everything I wanted, let me do whatever I wanted, gave me whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it, and always cared about me, while I only had to care when I felt like it." It's essentially the aggrandizement of the ego and its importance. Whoever can appeal to the ego in this way will seem extremely "loving," but the underlying structure is immature because it denies the sovereignty of the other person. The other person becomes an extension of the ego rather than a sovereign individual with their own desires, boundaries, values, and existence. Then there is conscious love. You take yourself and the other person as sovereign individuals, while also realizing that you're creating a union through the relationship. Because of that, you might willingly give up certain things that your ego wants in order to care for the other person or for the relationship as a whole. You don't have to destroy yourself or your identity. You consciously integrate your own needs with the needs of another sovereign being. From there, you can expand this type of love beyond the individual relationship: to other humans, communities, societies, animals, ecosystems, the Earth, and eventually larger systems of life and existence. It becomes increasingly integrative and requires a much higher degree of consciousness, care, empathy, and ability to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously. There is another level where you become more directly "one with everything." where you become more directly "one with everything." This state is much less practical for human beings and their egos. It is more characteristic of certain yogic or monastic states, deep meditation, psychedelic or mystical experiences, or perhaps death, where the ego can become radically diminished or dissolve entirely. In this state, there is no longer a fundamental distinction between "me" and "them," "owner" and "slave," or "self" and "other." Everything is experienced as part of one unified whole. There is no specific entity that needs to defend itself or survive as an isolated ego. In that sense, it can superficially resemble the state of a completely submissive slave or someone whose ego has been destroyed. But the difference is enormous. This is why, from the perspective of an ego, these states can look deceptively similar. Any entity that lacks a strong sense of self, doesn't resist, doesn't assert its own survival, desires, or boundaries, and appears completely accepting and accommodating can look "loving." But the underlying structures can be completely different. It's basically analogous to the Spiral Dynamics model: You start with Beige, where consciousness is almost entirely centered around immediate survival and the self. In a sense, there isn't much conceptual "other" yet because consciousness is primarily organized around its own immediate existence. Then, as the spiral develops, consciousness increasingly integrates otherness: empathy, social awareness, perspective-taking, morality, cooperation, respect for sovereignty, systems thinking, and eventually increasingly holistic forms of identification. At the higher end of the spiral, however, you can reach a state where the distinction between "self" and "other" itself becomes transcended. You realize that all of these apparently separate entities are ultimately parts of one. So, if you looked only at the structure from outside the Spiral Dynamics model, you might say: "Beige and Turquoise/Coral are both kind of solipsistic. Both ultimately collapse everything back into one." But that would completely miss the enormous difference in intelligence, integration, consciousness, and complexity between them. It's almost like saying that a newborn and a mystic are the same because neither has the same kind of fully developed adult ego.

The beta infantry lol I mean it's dark but it's necessary true. The elites raise funds for the masses and build beautiful war monuments to honor the mostly low and middle class men that go to die in wars that protect their capital while they sit as high ranking military officers or just in their own house chilling as civillians while they lobby the government. One of the guys I threw a fashion show with quit his modelling agency to join the Canadian Military, I wish him the best but sounds like suicide and foolishness to me.

Hell I - Part I After Keera's third ceremony, where I told myself, "I choose death," I started to feel like something was off in my head. I began to feel like I was literally "losing my mind." The first major sign that I was losing myself was my inability to sleep. That's when I knew something was really wrong. I felt like I was going crazy, and so I started doing everything I could to bring myself back to my normal state. At the same time, thoughts of suicide were constantly present because of the unbearable sense of separation that I was experiencing. It was a constant, never-ending suffering without any breaks. The best way I can describe that state is as feeling completely disconnected from myself, my soul, my heart, my feelings, love, and life. It was as if I had become completely separate from the world. It felt like I couldn't rest for a single moment because of the ever-present fear. I felt dead. The second important indicator that clearly told me I was disconnected from Goodness was when I stopped seeing the familiar shapes of wolf heads outside during the daylight when looking at nature. Instead, I began seeing distorted shapes and images that constantly reminded me of Hell. That was when I knew with absolute certainty that Mother Wolf was pure love, and I was feeling the deep pain of being disconnected from love itself. I felt like I was in a state where there was no God. I felt like even Mother Wolf had abandoned me. I called Maestra Estella from AyaMadre and asked her to help me. I also asked her if I had gone too far. She told me yes. I asked her if it was still possible for me to come back. She answered, "It will take a lot." I also called and talked to Keera, Kai, and the man who had played the drum during the first Keera ceremony, the one where I had the Golden Temple past-life vision. Kai is someone I had not mentioned before. He works with Angels and has many years of experience facilitating Ayahuasca and other plant medicine ceremonies. Victoria had gone to one of his ceremonies at a house called Dragon's Nest, located on a hill in Vista, California, shortly before leaving for Hawaii. They all did their best to offer me words of support, but deep down I knew that none of them could help me. I felt that no human in the world could help me. I knew I would have to find a way out of this one on my own. All I was doing, day and night, was lying in bed. Any activity required tremendous effort, and I couldn't wait to finish whatever I was doing and get back into bed again. I started doing the best I could to distract myself from the present moment, while at the same time thoughts about all the events that had happened in my life leading up to the state I was in kept pouring through my mind. I began contemplating how amazing my life had actually been and how many gifts and blessings I had experienced that I had never really appreciated before. I tried reconnecting with myself by taking a small dose of MDMA. Having had many beautiful experiences of love with ecstasy during my rave days, this was my attempt to reconnect with my heart and with love. When I took it, I could feel the effects on the physical and mental levels, but the connection and love were missing. It was as if the door to love was closed to me, and I didn't know how to open it again. At one point, while under the effects of MDMA, I was watching a video of Leo from Actualized.org on Victoria's laptop. When I focused my awareness on the "consciousness-expanding" sensation I was feeling from the MDMA, I saw Leo's bald head begin to turn into the face of the Devil, and his voice started sounding diabolical. I closed the laptop before continuing and went to the mirror to look at myself. In the mirror, I looked like a "heck." I also tried marijuana oil twice. Both times, marijuana seemed to lower my vibration even further, and I felt like I ended up in Hell. The second time, I heard a vile, diabolical voice tell me, "You're back so soon! You must like it here!" I also tried smoking Jurema, with pretty much the same outcome. I remember that it took a lot of courage to smoke it because I didn't know how it would affect me. I inhaled a large dose and focused my attention on the cerebellum area of my brain. I saw a lot of subtle, indiscernible visions, but again, I didn't feel any love or connection. I remember smoking Jurema multiple times and receiving an insight that "the Sun is love" during one of those experiences. I also knew that I wasn't able to receive or connect with its love. At one point, I also tried taking 1 gram of dried magic mushroom powder, but I didn't feel any effect from it at all. I also did a hapé ceremony sometime during this period. I felt a similar effect on my body and mind, without feeling that any real connection was happening, similar to what I had experienced with the other psychedelics. I then smoked a full Mapacho cigarette, inhaling it as deeply as I could. When I was at the peak of the Mapacho experience, these words came to me: "Mapacho, please help me die in peace." At the time, I obviously didn't know what "death" was, just like everybody else in the world. Those words came to me because I had listened to too many Leo of Actualized.org videos in which he talked about death as "infinite love." So I thought I needed to "die" in order to free myself from the suffering I was experiencing. At the same time, I was actually doing everything in my power not to die. I was doing everything I could to cling to life and find my way back to it. But in reality, I felt like I was literally dying, and I was already very close to being fully dead. I began seeing mess everywhere. Everything looked out of place and dirty, no matter how much I tried to organize and clean it. Then, as I was cooking Russian buckwheat, I saw the grains clump together and float to the surface of the water. I sensed that I was embodying so much fear at the time that even the food seemed to be experiencing suffering and "feared" being boiled. Cooking, cleaning, and doing any kind of activity required tremendous effort. I hated doing it. I hated doing anything. At one point, I drove to the nearby Sprouts to get groceries. On the magazine stand next to the cashier was a TIME magazine with Jesus on the cover and the text, "Who do you say that I am?" Then I looked over in front of me and saw a guy wearing a shirt whose image immediately caught my eye. He turned, and I looked again. It was a zombie wearing a crown, with the words "King of Shit" underneath it. That is who I felt I had become in that state: King of Shit. I also knew that I was in Hell, and that what I was experiencing was Death with a capital D.

Gandhi used teachings of nonviolent agitation and universal brotherhood as a social tool to unify Indian society which was highly fragmented along diverse casteist, religious, regional, racial and linguistic lines , and to channel their energies to fighting exploitative british colonialism back then . Through his personal example, speeches and writings ,discussions, rallies and social movements and so on, he created a unified , cohesive society and political movement against british colonialism. Many of his muslim friends and comrades also joined him in this venture . Khudai Khidmatgar was a non-violent, Pashtun muslim freedom movement against British rule in colonial India inspired by Gandhi. Founded in 1929 by Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan (also called Bacha Khan or the Frontier Gandhi), its members wore red shirts and worked nonviolently and progressively for social reform, education, and national unity. That Gandhi was able to unify such highly fragmented sections into a cohesive whole was a great success in itself and showcased his leadership skills. I don't think there is any other leader in the world that have achieved such a feat. This should be seen in the background and context of the regressive Hindu and Muslim societies back then in India stuck in primitive conditioning and consequent inter-religious disharmony, which was further inflamed by the British with their divide and rule policies which they had heavily invested in. While Gandhi's efforts were instrumental in unifying Indian society to a large extent, he was not able to overcome the partitioning of India on religious lines. However, India had survived intact for the last 80 years and is also on the road to great prosperity as the fastest growing major economy in the world for many years now. It is the fourth largest economy in the world and is forecast to displace the US as the largest economy in the world after a few decades. The stability which India enjoyed for many decades inspite of large-scale diversity, is mainly due to Gandhi's legacy of nonviolence which prevented the balkanisation of India sequencing to various small regional conflicts and wars , as has happened in Europe prior and during the two world wars and aftermath as well, and which had killed many millions of europeans then and now. You don't need to kill or maim anyone or destroy public property created by tax money, to make a religious or political statement. Just carrying a banner and uttering slogans or going on a fast will do. In Pakistan, inter-sectarian conflicts resulting in Sunni-Shia-Sufi-Ahmediya riots are commonplace resulting in deaths of thousands of muslims due to suicide bombings and riots, while the same do not take place in India. The only muslim scientist to get a Nobel prize in physics was Abdus Salam from Pakistan. However he was subjected to severe state and societal discrimination and prejudice in Pakistan due to his Ahmediya sectarian background. On the other hand he was treated respectfully and well in India when he came there, and received awards for excellence in science , and later stated that he was prouder to be called an Indian than a Pakistani. Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was a former Indian president of muslim identity and rocket scientist who played a major role in the Indian space programme. Kalam considered the message of non-violence India's greatest contribution to global civilization and believed humanity has yet to find a better tool than Gandhian thought to unite people and reach a common objective He frequently highlighted Gandhi’s philosophy of non-violence and the convergence of minds as an unmatched model for resolving conflict and achieving national and international goals.

I found him amusing during the covid lockdowns ( 🫣😳 I used to leave ancient aliens on the tv to keep the dogs company when I was outside) but for someone who was advocating for the Ra materials ( law of one), when he said he didn’t believe in paradox I realised he hadn’t got a clue what the ‘one’ was, aka not awake and possibly delusional. His egotism grew worse until last year I think it was, he complained that he had a parasitic entity in his eye and the government or cabal were after him and his health began to deteriorate before he shot himself after claiming publicly he would never commit suicide he pushed the q anon conspiracy even after the creators of it admitted it was a hoax.

Time to get some Red examples going up in here. Try to find some healthy ones too. Red is all too easy to demonize. List of Stage Red Values: Personal power, strength, might, brute force Displays of toughness Brazen courage, valor, heroism, daring Being the boss, being #1, winning at all costs Conquering one’s enemies, domination The thrill of conquest Warrior mentality, a glorious death, heroic deeds Competitive, crush your opponents Resolving disputes with ruthless force Winning, victory, conquest, triumph against odds Ambition, playing it big Revenge Respect Loyalty Decisiveness, assertiveness Passion, action Pragmatic, direct, no-nonsense Taking initiative & ownership, personal willpower Getting things done, just do it Unilateral control, executive power Glitz, ostentatious displays, grandiosity Wants to be bigger than life Status, recognition of prowess Machismo, pride, bragging Charisma, plain talk Intimidation, manipulation, exploitation Sexual conquest & exploitation Sex as power and vanity, sadistic sex Enjoying life to the fullest Adventure, thrill-seeking, living boldly Power contests, like slapping/arm-wrestling Breaking rules, finding loop holes Breaking with the pack & pushing the envelope Stage Red Examples: Trump, Saddam Hussein, Iraq, Syria, Hitler, Stalin, Liberia, Somalia, North Korea, Myanmar, Turkmenistan, Haiti, Africa, Middle East, Palestine, warlords, mafia, Tony Soprano, Al Capone, pirates, marauders, gangs, Yakuza, violent prisoners, prison culture, freedom fighters, revolutionaries, criminals, rapists, con artists, thieves, terrorists, juvenile delinquents, ancient Rome, gladiator combat, Caligula, Nero, Roman emperors, spartan, Chinese emperors, Japanese emperors, Alexander the Great, Achilies, Klingons, hackers, toxic narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, lone shooters, Conan the Barbarians, Joe Pesci from Casino, Russian mob, toxic masculinity / Red Pill, vikings, Genghis Khan, Mongol hordes, drug addicts, gamblers, criminal underground, war criminals, massacres, torture, rape gangs, wild rock stars, Jules from Pulp Fiction, Joffery from GoT, Ramsey from GoT, Cersie from GoT, Dothraki from GoT, the Joker, cult leaders like Jim Jones & Charles Manson, David Koresh, Aztec human sacrifice, pimps, hustlers, prostitutes, sex trafficking, brothels, strippers, porn stars, violent porn, snuff films, king’s harems, absolute monarchs, feudalism, heads on pikes, Vlad the Impaler, crucifixion, cutting off body parts, cruel & unusual punishment, villains in movies, bullies, colonial exploitation, sweat shops, slavery, wild west, Terminator, Rambo, throwing objects when angry, cocaine, heroine, crack, meth users, suicide bombers, lesser Jihad, ISIS, domestic violence, MMA / UFC, boxing, Mike Tyson, Don King, Connor McGregor, bank robbers, the tyrannical boss, bribery, bling, gold teeth & chains, the hood, drive-by shootings, bloodsport, cock fighting, dog fighting, animal cruelty, sports fights, pro wrestling, movie Lord of War, Alex Jones, L Ron Hubbard, David Miscavige, 9/11, Oklahoma City bombing, some incels, some pickup, Jeffy rape van, Kanye dragon energy, rap music, heavy metal music, punk music, Mexican drug cartels, El Chapo, Grand Theft Auto game, graffiti, No Country For Old Men, Old Testament, Sith from Star Wars, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Dan Pena, hunting homeless people for sport, Black Panthers, KKK, Machiavelli, women as property

Sure, being a psychotic with major depression is also being, but we are talking of the possibilities of the human mind. Enlightenment is a real possibility of human mind, also being addicted to methamphetamine is another possibility. The difference is about the openess of the focus of the mind. Being obsessed with methamphetamine and having sex with your dog is being and the reality, exactly than anything else, but you (yes "you") as a mind that is a incredible deep procces that is happening, can be open to another level of existence. Nobody is going to give you a medal and a diploma, you could commit suicide if you want, but as we are alive we want to be in all our potential, just because that's the drive of reality

@Basman awesome! I did that too! I actually saw all kinds of monsters and I discovered that if I focus on the monster closely and don't close my eyes, I can will the monster to fade away and become nothing. If I close my eyes, then I start feeling pressure on my body and sometimes it feels like hands wrapping around my arms. Some of the monsters I saw included the following. Shadow figures, mechanical clowns but oddly not the one from poltergeist that most assume, ghosts, my grandma as a vampire, general grievous from Star wars which actually looked terrifying when you see that thing for real but he then transformed into the door near my bed, a redead from the legend of zelda who I escaped by flying out of my body and into a zelda like dungeon except this one had an elephant in it, and a demonic symbol with my sister smiling at me along with another nightmare with my sister storming into my room angrily. I remember one of the shadow figures looked like a girl from school who grabbed my penis and the nightmare was about her coming to my bed while I couldn't move. Meanwhile, my older sister would often yell, scream, and badger me for hours on end to the point that I would freeze, shock, have nightmares, and so forth as I tried walking on eggshells to prevent catastrophe. Sometimes I talk in my sleep. I started talking about Cindy who died by suicide. I also noticed that I can consciously control my dreams by forcing myself awake by focusing my awareness on my eyelids while noticing that I am still seeing images despite my eyelids being closed. Alternatively, I can start rewinding my dreams and going back in time to earlier parts in it which delays it enough for new content to pop up. I ended up in the Simpsons in one of these dreams. It kind of looked like that arcade game with bart doing a long essay. I also remember a really fun one in which I played the role of Sherlock Holmes, working together with Harry Potter to defeat Darth Vader. Sometimes I would go back in time or reload to the previous checkpoint when I was losing. In the end we defeated Darth vader by collapsing a building as Harry summoned his broomstick, allowing us to jump on and escape. I do remember there was a really annoying level with Malfoy though who had dementors helping him and that part was a pain in the ass which required going back to previous checkpoints to make sure I clicked the buttons at the right time. I also had this other epic zelda like dream in which I was fighting these mutant insects with fire swords. There was a gold skulltula in it, but the best part is when I figured out how to beat the game. Once I got to the main villain, he said "if you want to stop them, then you need to hit pause." My girlfriend was like "hit pause? What is this some kind of videog-" Then a pause menu came up and I scrolled down to quit. I selected quit. Then I woke up. There was also this epic dream in which I fought the British who were red coats on unicycles with assault rifles in attack formation. I used a flamethrower on one of them. Eventually I ran away and one of them got my flamethrower. He then started chasing me while shooting fire at me yelling "get back here you bloody bastard!" Eventually I got away from though. Many of my comrades were lost in that brutal battle. I felt like I was going to pee myself, but I woke up in time to go to the bathroom. There was also this really epic one in which my high school principal tried to execute me because the second paragraph of my essay sucked so badly that I was a dishonor to my school and I deserved to die for the bad paragraph on my essay. I woke up flailing my arms and legs and then I whited out the second paragraph for fear that my teacher would ruin my life over confessing my love for Alice. The essay prompt was to write about people who inspire you, so I wrote about someone who makes life feel meaningful but was afraid I would be hanged for it.

You have no gut to die, so totally normal. Enlightenment is not your or mine priority, it is a suicide mission. Go understand, experience God, infinite, with Leo and explain how beautiful it is, which is your priority 😆

I AM GOD! I AM CREATING EVERYTHING! ABSOLUTELY TOTAL! ABSOLUTELY SOVEREIGN! ABSOLUTE INSANITY! God is loving this reality. God doesn't care whether the human dies or not. However, suicide is a deception. God wants to experience and it designed the human experience. I'm hallucinating this human experience! I was able to awaken myself and go back to being human instantly. I tested that multiple times while tripping. Leo! I created you to remind me that I can wake up. God is a genius bastard. So much happened during the trip that I'm unable to write as of now! It was infinitely insane! I ate a cannabis gummy three hours after I consumed 150 mg N,N-DPT orally. It contained 5 mg THC, 5 mg CBD, and 5 mg CBG. My insane trip began 20-30 minutes after cannabis consumption. The peak lasted for two hours. But I'm still tripping. Almost all of my psychedelic experiences, although I've done very little before, are a joke compared to what I've experienced now. Ideas of psychedelic experiences are also a joke after you have an experience. Ideas of it will probably become an obstacle eventually without serious experience. Meditation will never, at least to me, be able to reveal something like that. My whole being wants to align with that experience. I feel a strong desire to emulate it.

Thought are part of the process that we call "I", same as breath. Then in "I", the human procces, there is a center that predicts and decides. This center, the self, is real, it's a process that is happening that have neurological structures created by evolution. That self sees itself as a subject that perceives objects. You could say that all this is a model of the reality created by the brain, but it's also real. Maybe it's been created, but anything else is been created by the relative interactions that finds the way that's possible just because it's possible. The external world is no more real than the mind, both are the reality being created by the relationship between states that overlap in a coherent and stable way, creating increasingly complex patterns. one of them is, for example, a star, another a mind. They are both real. If a subject arises in that mind who can hold his breath or commit suicide, that subject is as real as anything else.

The funny thing is body born for help, some with kind words, some with money wise help, some with curse. Yet for me, doesn't really fucking matter. Because, You guys are all one. Identical. But the mask attached with @Leo Gura, @cetus and you @Inliytened1 are wearing spiritual charlatan costumes. Some people even suicide due to reach this bullshit higher consciousness because of @Leo Gura This is not mine, but body and mind's altercation and reaction to worldy reality. But, at the same time I really don't give a fuck. Edit: actually, you @Inliytened1, you are good person.

I've been psychotic myself and it landed me in jail so if I were you I would work very hard on training your consciousness before thinking of quitting your medication. Be extremely careful with it and work on grounding mechanisms as you are basically betting your life on this. How it works is you have to deconstruct your reality and what you even are and watch out for your human self. You have to prioritize your safety over any type of realizations or phenomena that you experience. Now that you know what psychosis feels like you should be able to control it much easier. Ask yourself these questions, even if you do hear your family's voices in your head why does that really impact your daily life? Why did you try to commit suicide on the road? Thinking about your mom while masturbating is clearly a very unplesant thought but it shouldn't distabilize you enough that you run on the street naked. Watch some sigmund freud videos on Youtube and realize the mind is a very weird thing and it imagines all kinds of weird concepts literally pehaps all weird concepts imaginable. I've thought about my dad shitting before and what if I'm attracted to my dad since I'm bisexual and I told my mind to cut it out with the weird thoughts I don't want to think about this and it works over time. Don't reject your thoughts but don't let your mind rule you also. It's so common for gay or bisexual conservatives to flip the fuck out and violently prosecute or antaganonize LGBTQ people for example because they judge their own urges and mind. Just accept it and move on but also train yourself to have control over it. Thoughts are not actions, it's not because you have any kind of thought that it has to lead to you taking an action. Sit down and really ponder it over especially if it's gonna lead to some major consequenences that reality has to make happen for you to be coherent and tangible. The fact that you are blaming the medication for making you obese is not a good sign of ultimate agency and control of the mind. It's not because a substance makes you really hungry and low energy that you should stuff your face. Of course it's difficult but the low agency road to life leads in poor results whether you are on anti-psychotic medications or not. Also better anti psychotics are coming out all the time so it's unnessary to take the risk of going off of them. If you wait 10 years you will have even better therapy and better meds available. I told my buddy one time to go off his anti psychotics and just meditate and he landed in the psych ward a few days after so I don't really advise that anymore.

I’ve noticed that a lot of religions seem to say that if someone dies by suicide something worse happens than if they just die normally. Like in Christianity people talk about going to hell, in Buddhism some people say it can lead to a worse rebirth, etc. or just rebirth Do you think there’s actually some truth behind that? Or do you think religions mainly added those ideas to scare people away from doing it? @Leo Gura just curious about what you and everyone here think about that

My mother overdosed to death when I was 5. This has been a deeply ingrained imprint in my psyche. I'm now 24, NEET and shut-in for the majority of the past 8 years. I find myself wanting to follow in her footsteps. Suicide has long been a fantasy for me, it's the only imagined future I find solace and believability it. I simply do not want to work, I do not and can not exert strain on my mental and physical system. I've walked out of four jobs thus far, all of them because of a culmination of stress and future oriented dread. Before I was prescribed my adhd medication in my 20s my depression got to such a level where my skin was growing layers of dirt I could scratch off, only after my prescription did I get the kick to my system to get the 4 aforementioned jobs (all in retail). I really just feel like I'm not on the same level as other humans functionally and this is an intrinsic part of my life. Just extreme brain and psychological damage from my gestation and formative years. I realised Oneness, me as the Godhead as the Universe dreaming me on LSD and DMT last year. So I can't buy into the "after death is a nothing void forever" cop out. And even tho I've learnt a lot more forgiveness towards other people I still don't know how to relate to others when interacting with them, I've just only ever derived trauma and discomfort in my interactions with others and we never are on the same footing in regards to our values and interests and sensibilities. I'm just so not built for physical survival, every movement of my being is averse to practicality, health and prudence. I find myself wanting to extricate myself from being a leech on my aunt and uncle and just go homeless and see how I fare, it might give me the sober urgency I need to get my life in order or maybe I'll find I don't mind it, homelessness runs in the family anyway. I don't know what I'm looking for here, advice I guess. I know outsourcing responsibility on how to decide my life is counter to the ethos of this site but I'm just not that guy... The mental health system on this island has also been terrible, I was even in the psych ward for a few weeks and couldn't get seen by any psychologist because they're just too shortstaffed all around. Any therapy I've tried has been trite lifestyle advice I was already implementing at the time and there's just a preoccupation with diagnosing over investigating.

I mean, you can dissuade them if you don't want them to commit suicide. But pointing to very general and abstract individual beliefs they hold to explain their proximity to suicide is a game of statistical whack-a-mole. Is the belief in an afterlife causing suicides? What about the belief that nothing happens after you die and it's just a blank nothingness? What about reincarnation? What about "everything is love"?

When you become God, you realize there is no difference between life and death. The only difference is that during life you're constrained to survive your organism, otherwise you die. When you become insane, you can willingly choose to surrender the survival of your oraganism, and choose suicide, which is escaping the hallucination of your own organism, and existing eternally as God.

If you actually read what Nahm wrote to SoonHei in the quoted PMs, he pointed to the idea that you can't really use "life is a dream" to conclude that taking your life is a preferable action over simply honoring life, and that acting in such a way would be based on a misunderstanding. And remember, people in the "Leo runs a cult" videos want to draw the same connection that you're doing now, that even engaging on the idea that "life is a dream" is already too far and is causing suicides. It seemingly doesn't help to actively dissuade someone against suicide without simultaneously lying that "no in fact, life cannot be said to be a dream in any way, forget that you ever thought that, forget that we ever said that".

Neo-advaitans don't believe what they say, they wouldn't say it if they did because 'there's nobody' to say it to. It's just an attempt to bypass therapy and an aversion to some nagging issue they have, it's intentional dissociation from life - that absolutely fosters suicide, it's toxic and psychosis inducing. Neo-advaita isn't even spiritual, it's similar to prosperity preaching.

I don't believe that platitudes are responsible for the suicide . . at best it was probably neutral and didn't changed the outcome.

@Carl-Richard That Nahm dude cannot be defended. He replied with non-dual platitudes to someone that was seriously about to commit suicide. And that someone did commit suicide in the end. I'm not saying Nahm was responsible. But he was clearly unwise and irresponsible.

A bit of background about me: I was born and raised in Somalia. I used to watch Leo since I was 14/15. I moved to the UK about three years ago. I lost my brother due to suicide two years ago. I have left islam and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to stay in the UK or not. I have been doing deep research on how I can take my life painlessly. I have no family around. Everything feels meaningless. I didn't think it’d get to this point three year ago. You'd be surprised how ambitious and hard-working I was. I'm in pain and just want to go. I know it’s a cowardly thing to do, but the world isn't nice and we're all going to die anyways.