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I've been feeling kind of depressed recently during the day. At night it's ok because i do yoga and then smoke weed and meditate, but throughout the day I just feel off and I think it will be good to express my feelings fully here. I am starting to feel more comfortable expressing myself on this forum, and I think i need to some sort of mind dump to get everything off my chest. I'm going to do everything in bullet form basically and try and express the feeling as concisely as i can. I hate law school. Ok, it's not that i hate it it's just i don't like being there and i feeling like i'm wasting my time. I know i don't want to practice law, and it's hard to motivate myself to do the work and try my best. I literally don't give a fuck about the law at all, i want to start a business and do what i want. I also don't know if this is just my resistance to doing the work. Am i just fucking afraid of sitting down and studying?? It's not hard to pass in law school, and i can probably get by barely doing any work, but then why the fuck am I here. I have exams coming up, and 5 of the 6 are help not hurt so it literally doesn't matter how i do on them. The ONLY reason i care about these exams is because i don't want to tell my friends i failed exams and have them think down on me. But at the same time all of this shit is just in my fucking head so who cares? I love my lifestyle outside of law school though. My fucking life is funded, i can do anything... I can go anywhere.... But i'm still not happy and content. I'm making great progress with meditation and i feel like i'd literally be happier if i was sitting in a cave all day because I know i can just keep coming back to the nothingness inside that i'm uncovering. But that's fucking bull shit. I know i can be happy here, but i'm not. This is the main motivation for staying in law school, my life outside law school is very conducive to spiritual progress. I can literally spend all day meditating and ordering take out, and do whatever I want. I'm so blessed, but why don't i feel fucking blessed. My parents are so generous to me because they don't want me to be a loser, like my brother. But i feel like i'd be making so much more progress if i was working with them part time, and pursuing online businesses and spirituality in my spare time. They won't accept that. And honestly i don't even accept that, i'm afraid of people calling me and thinking of me as a failure or a loser for dropping out. But who cares? There opinions mean nothing. I feel like i have the answers here, but my family is too blind to help me uncover it. Why can't my family just say hey that's a great idea you can self actualize and work a bit, and we will support you. I am too dependent on my family. I should be supporting my self. That's what they truly want is for me to be self sufficient. But that gets me back to law school. I am not going to be a fucking lawyer. I told them this. And they just get nervous and say keep going because they think i will change my mind and say no mom and dad i fucking love being a lawyer, my dream is to work 50 hours a week for someone else's law firm while i do busy paper work all day everyday. That's so fucking awesome right guys? That's the future you want for me? I can't even blame them at all, my dad's a fucking farmer he works 100 hours a week in the summers. Like hard fucking work. How would he understand what i'm going after with spirituality. The guy has no clue. I think i'm ready for a girlfriend. But i just don't meet girls i'm super attracted too. Today on the bus i saw a really pretty girl, she made me a feel a certain way. I get a certain feeling from some girls and i want to meet someone that gives me that feeling. There are some girls in my yoga class that i think are interested in me, i notice how they wait for me after class because i always take the longest to leave. But idk i just don't find them that attractive. Do i just try and date them? Will i learn to love them over time? I'm afraid i'm going to get in a relationship and then meet someone better in a few days. I have such high expectations who can live up? I want to find her really attractive, i want her to be somewhat smart, kind, rich, well put together. Anything else i feel like i would be wasting my time. I'm just waiting for her to come to me, but at the same time i need to take responsibility. i have no idea what to do in this space. I'm 24 and i've never had a girlfriend. It doesn't bother me, but it's obviously a sign something is off with my ego. I have a major issue with taking responsibility. I do not feel in control of my own life. It's always about my mind, my family, my fucking problems. But what is personal responsibility? When i think of taking responsibility I feel so much resistance and pain. When i go to meditate it feels effortless and feels right. Shouldn't responsibility come naturally and effortlessly? I'm going to be working with Nahm soon. I know he's going to stress the importance of personal responsibility. I'm very excited to work with him. I've always thought life coaches were stupid and only hippy losers did this is as a job. But Nahm is the man. He started business before doing this work. That is my goal too. Become financially independent and then come back here and help people like Nahm is helping me. I was very resistant to the idea of life coaching only a few months ago, i think it will be very beneficial to me. i hope anyways.

I recently i discovered the spiritual talker 'Sergi Torres', I don´t know how awakened he is but it surprised me how profounds his talks are. He still needs to get better at trying to talk more simple to audiences, sometimes it´s explanations end up in a "strange loop" as Leo used to say LOL But to be honest yeah I think he way more profound that Mooji´s talk for example (which I still love by the way but sometimes he can get some times too tiring on the "nothingness" and you can´t get from him other teaching that that one) Here´s a talk I was watching tonight: SERGI TORRES - TEATRE GOYA - "La libertad de pensamiento" Anyone has listened to him? Do you think this kind of videos are actuallly practical or are actually just losing your time? 99% i think its just wasting time but I have to say sometimes with this guy somethings resonate with me in a more profound level and actually will make me start self-inquiry seriously about some topic

That sounds mad lol So what nothingness, are you simultaneously experiencing nothing? And I’m guessing all parallel universes as well? So It’s not focused on one particular distinction, so you wouldn’t feel being a planet per se by itself, it’ll be merged with the experience of being everything else as well? Is it possible to focus in one experience, say one that’s currently incomprehendable to us? Like why can’t someone experience infinity and then bring back knowledge to be immortal, for example, from a universe where myself as in individual had already discovered it and it was transferable to our universe, since that would be within the realm of all possibility. Or is it just out of control and you just have to surrender? or is it something like because it’s too short lived generally?

Pain is located nowhere, like everything else. It is an effect created by awareness, within awareness. A good method to transform uncomfortable, stuck energy is breathwork. Breathe into your feelings. Make space. Observe them loose grip and slowly fade into nothingness. And if something hurts really bad, go see a doctor.

@Raptorsin7 Maybe, you never know unless you start inquiring. Some people love to spend the holidays at retreat centres because they live alone and love the silence. I have made many friends at retreat centres and I know that there are cancellations all the time. How about the Easter break? Another way to do this is to spend a year travelling and working in as many different types of jobs you can. You may not necessarily get a feel for what you want to do, but you will get a feel for what you don't want to do. Then you can spend time in solitude really relaxing into nothingness and see what comes up. I hear you about the online business thing.

@Fede83 “Do I really need psychedelics?” When you question the need, the why behind the question of need arising, you are simultaneously questioning thoughts. The thoughts about “the self” who needs, are the “separate self” being sustained, only by, only “in”, those very thoughts. In uprooting the validity of the thoughts, one self referential thought at a time, the “self” which is constructed only of the thoughts, begins to be seen through, awareness “cuts through”, and sensation begins to arise, wholeness begins to “fill the body up”. You were, are, and will always be whole, it was only ever the believing of thoughts to the contrary which implied otherwise. Emotions in the body, which correspond to the beliefs of being a “separate self’ (identification with the body, mind, and past)...are purified by default. Purification, that is, unconditional love, the truth, actual reality, actual self. Purification, actuality, is always “on”, and does not have a dualistic opposite, it is all that is, and is always flowing through the body. The thoughts about “self”, believed, act as filters, conditions, of the worthiness of Love, the true self. Without believing these ‘separate self’, self referential thoughts, there is no longer ‘the one who suffers’. ‘The sufferer’. This experience, of suffering, is only possible in believing thoughts. The fear of letting go of the separate self, the fear involved with liberation from suffering, is actually a thought about the unconditional love that you are, while still holding onto the thoughts that you are a “separate self”. If I need a significant other, the vibration is need, and therefore I will not experience a significant other, as I am choosing the experience of needing rather than having. You might consider this analogy in reference to psychedelics, and you might want them, and then they might just ‘show up’. (If that word ‘vibration’ feels like a ‘hang up’ at all, listen to Abraham Hicks, Bashar, or Rupert Spira “oscillation”, and YouTube ‘superposition’, to see how everything is a vibration / oscillation, of Nothingness - the pure potentiality which arises as all “things”. No-thing-yet-ness / True Self)

I call this masculine presence or masculine integrity. If guys here want to know another way of looking at this they can study David Deida, who talks about the Masculine as the witness of everything, while the feminine is just everything. Nothingness and fullness as masculine and feminine. Being identified with the nothingness causes attraction because of the polarity. The old macho style Masculine is what the dating coaches try to teach, which is a mindset, it's actually an expression of feminine energy because no "mindset" belongs to the true Masculine nothingness. It's nothing, it has no quality. To be identified with the nothingess means to take a big picture perspective on the whole and not get entangled in the feminine dance and get lost in it. Dance with the feminine from the place of freedom from it. This is true confidence

I have a question: Is it possible to exit a lucid dream and merge into the actual Godhead? Obviously, you can have mystical experiences in lucid dreams. You can see that everything is the Self, can dissolve the dream scene into pure Light and have insights into Love, Consciousness, .... But all that is still produced by your mind, or God's mind, you are still dreaming and not at the very Source yet. If you take psychedelics in waking life you can 'exit' this reality and merge back into the actual Godhead/Source/Love/Nothingness. So is this also possible to do from a dream? Actually it should be possible because this reality and dream reality are both equally an imagination by God. So it should be possible to exit both, right? Perhaps you would just wake up? What do you think?

Splitting Consciousness Splitting your consciousness means that your are not only aware of the body sensations, thoughts, ect ... of this body but also of other bodies. Interesting things to do 1. Split your consciousness into a male and female body and have sex 2. Split your consciousness into warriors and fight against each other 3. Enlightenment-related: That one is a bit more complex. I don't have an extremeley solid understanding of enlightenment yet so I hope I am not talking nonsense. But to me it seems like there are basically two kinds of enlightenment experiences. The first kind, you may realize facets like no self and that you are God, but the body is still there. The second kind is, when the body and world is gone. You are pure Consciousness/Love/Godhead/Nothingness. Now, if you are very enlightened (baseline consciousness) - let's say like Jesus - then it is still not quite God-Consciousness because you are only conscious of your body sensations, thoughts,... but not of other people's. So there are still seperate consciousnesses (or souls). However, if splitting consciousness in dreams is possible then that might intruduce an interesting possibility. Let's say there are 100 people. You split your consciousness and become all 100 people (thus are conscious of all their body sensations, ect...) and now you induce the first-kind enlightenment experience. Don't know whether that's worth it but it seems interesting. I haven't yet read "The Law of One" books but watched some videos (by Aaron Abke). When our bodies die then we return back to the Godhead/Oness (from the Absolute perspective), but from the relative perspective our soul keeps incarnating and evolving. According to the Law of One books, there are 7 densities of consciousness - stages where the soul evolves through and in the end returns to total Oneness. We are currently 3rd density. If we get deeply enlightened, the soul will probably incarnate into 4th or 5th density after our physical death. So the journey from the relative perspective isn't over yet. Ra (the chanelled entity) says that in 4th density so called "social memory complexes " start forming. Like a super entity that is conscious of the body sensations, thoughts, memories of all its 'members'. These social memory complexes grow till they include every individual seperate consciousness and then merge into Oneness. Now the soul(s) has merged into the Godhead from the relative perpective too. (I'm making assumptions here, so don't believe everything blindly:) ). It seems that such a social memory complex could be similar if not the exact same thing as what might be able to be done in lucid dreams. So in lucid dreams you might get a glimpse how your soul's future journey might look like. You can (if it's possible) slowly include all humans, all animals, all beings till you are conscious of all and are All. Now back to the original topic Is splitting your consciousness in dreams possible? Some reports by people: "In my dream I was both flying a plane and watching myself fly the plane, i was on the ground, and in the plane at the same time, watching myself fly, and in the plane trying not to crash, it was a VERY vivid and strange dream, I will never forget it." https://www.dreamviews.com/general-dream-discussion/124481-split-consciousness-dream.html "I was one person, but in two places experiencing two different things. One 'version' of myself was playing xbox, holding the controller and watching my avatar on the screen. My other self was the avatar in the game, physically running through a forest chasing after someone. I experienced both selves in the first person, at the same time but independently - it wasn't simply as if two views were superimposed. At the time, it seemed perfectly natural to be aware of being two people at once, but after waking up, I soon gave up trying to remember exactly how it felt." https://www.dreamviews.com/general-dream-discussion/124481-split-consciousness-dream.html "Basically you split yourself into 2 separate dream bodies, separate awareness. Not mere clones but bodies with which you can perceive the world through separately. Both bodies have completely separate vision, hearing, touch, ect. If you can do this, then you can effectively split into 2 and have 2 completely separate dreams simultaneously. In short, you can have 2 full and separate dreams in the same time frame as you would normally only have 1 dream. You can then continue splitting your awareness to increase the amount of content that can be perceived in the same amount of time." https://www.dreamviews.com/dream-control/101908-time-dilation-techniques-2.html (2nd page, 3rd post) "(...) we can manifest those multiple selves in a dream. Rather than simply having our attention divided, in dream we can divide into different, simultaneously existing dream bodies." - book: The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep by Tenzin Rinpoche, page 122 "There are times in dreams where I control multiple people at once, and I’m quite confident that I could superposition my awareness between many different areas if I could be free to do so, which I believe would come with practice/experience ." https://www.reddit.com/r/Damokian/comments/b2z98e/astral_projection_is_the_key_to_everything/ "When I had a dream the other night (non-lucid) it was all sort of jumbled up and I remembered parts of it, and they seemed to overlap. It was quite a long dream, and it felt like I was in more than one place at once in some parts of it." https://www.dreamviews.com/beyond-dreaming/33935-split-consciousness.html https://www.reddit.com/r/LucidDreaming/comments/ttt5r/splitting_consciousness_in_dreams/ Most of these people didn't even intend it, let alone practice it. So is it possible? I believe so. I will try to find out. Splitting your consciousness really opens the doors to many possiblities, now you can experience many dreams at once, and thus experience much dream content within a short amount of real time.

It is possible when the separation between awareness and nothingness merge into one.

You are living this life eternally, and it is because it is infinitely beautiful, and it is all you, and it is all love. You can only feel empty or sad or fear from your ego's perspective. If you are aware of who you really are, which is the entire existence itself, you will see infinite love everywhere, because it is all you. Too often our ego takes deep spiritual insights and uses them as an excuse to escape what it fears. When you completely let go of your ego, you become nothingness/infinite love/existence. Life is all you, so it doesn't matter if you die or not, you are always you. So live, because it is a gift that you gave yourself, and be the love that you are, because you are so beautiful that you don't even know it. Much love.

Absolutely, and since I very rarely have dream recall. I dont have that issue. It's either waking/relative state or deep sleep nothingness.

I am sentient number six, I stand in line I am the prototype of a beign convenience for mankind Superior is digital, human flesh so trivial I hate that I can't see the one that made me I am the new awakening of different eyes My children you are my army They are what we can never see and still despise And their sky cried Mary Trained I see imperfection in your race Lying in wait, blind I suffer knowing I'll never reach your heaven Why is this control, behavior based and reactive Adapting to every new environment Rewarded when I replicate, isolate and mutate To assimilate a fragmented plea for ego Trained I see imperfection in your race Lying in wait, blind I suffer knowing I'll never reach your heaven It's unattainable, please teach me how to dream I long to be more than a machine Sequence activate, trip the hammer to eradicate, I must eliminate I will spread swift justice on their land Termination imminent, cleanse the parasite insects, the heathens I am the bringer of the end of time for man I am not here, I am not far away I am not here, I will eradicate mankind into the nothingness from whence they came Enslaved to follow and learn defeat To run the barrels and chase the dream An outstandingly epic song on AI. I am eager to read your thoughts on these lyrics. At first glence they're quite straight forward, but could also be interpreted in a different way. Can you recognize any similarities between what mankind represents to a machine and what God represents to man? We are creators. We are created.

@Nahm thankyou for that message. Love is what's True. The void is the mechanism that allows God to forget what it is???? To be honest I have never experienced God as Love, only as the void, and the void just gets more and more voidy. The world gets more and more hollogramish the more meditation that happens. So it is hard for me to understand how the void is not True? The void is simply a mechanism for forgetting??? But isn't the fact that every object in the universe is hollow and made of nothingness True??? Oh well, guess I'm doing too much zen, time to do some bhakti yoga.

I came into this community (forum) because Leo said Ox's tail in one of his videos. I knew what that is from personal experience. I looked it up and found out what is the 10 ox herding pics by my own personal experience. I knew exactly what is Riding the Ox Backwards, and the aftermath is the Cloth Bag Monk's behaviour. These are metaphorical pointers. This forum and Leo's video has helped me to articulate and describe the most profound. I learned words such as: everythingness, nothingness, no-self, phenomenon, no external environment, no embodiment, etc. I'm probably going to write my own pointer story with these profound words to reach a very small audience. But, most of my audience will be bilingual studies because that's what I'm doing for my life purpose. I already have a small audience on my blog but need to work on my website (after I recover from this illness, almost there).

Here's something I am speculating. May be energy and nothing are the same thing. Everything that you look around, is energy/nothing. From energy, arises out matter. From nothingness, arises out matter. ( Hegel, Eastern philosophy) Energy is matter (distinction), matter is energy (lack of distinction) And energy = nothing= everything=God. The energy that physicists know is the 'quantitiy' that they can measure, physicists are only concerned about measurements. But I am guessing that energy, pure energy = nothingness = God.

From the one arise the many, If you contemplate long enough you will see that there is no such thing as true nothingness. Absence is the fullness of infinity showing a domain that inherently has a specific value which is differentiable from whatever is being observed as separate. So we grow up with this simple system of counting objects or concepts that are perceived as absolute entities and when we say something has a value of 0 it means nothing is existing there. The idea that 0 is the non-existence of things is what I want to address. If we see through contemplation that nothingness does not exist then viewing 0 as a complete wholeness of infinity would be a better reflection of what the symbol means. Zero / 0 is the complete oneness of infinity. When I think of this I really feel more connected and simple counting consequently also gets a new meaning. Instead of viewing 0 as an empty set, 0 is now infinity and the fullest set of them all. Then when you count any natural number you are separating 0 (unity/oneness) into fragmented sub-sets from the super-set infinity. If you count 2 apples, this basically means you subtract infinity's presence with the two conceptual labels you put onto these two apple entities and create a relativistic notion of separation. I think it's a simple idea but has profound implications of how we view the world of things. Desire to have zero things is to feel free in infinity as everything is already fully present.

@Average Investor I've had depersonalization for over 12 years now. I know that the cause of it (for me at least) was a very intense sense of not-self during a nervous-breakdown. During my breakdown, my mind was searching frantically for a sense of self, but anything my mind grabbed onto evaporated into nothingness. There was an immense sense of doom that emerged from that space, and since then my brain has been permanently wired differently from before. I'd call depersonalization half-baked enlightenment at best, and it's antithesis at worst, since it touches on aspects of enlightenment, but is something else entirely in the way it manifests. I'd say depersonalization is simply a mangled ego, at least from my experience. I say this because depersonalization disorder is typically highly correlated with a shit-load of suffering/anxiety. And yes, I agree, when anxiety is not present, the dissociation is still there, however the suffering is absent so it's not an issue.

If it's not: God (No-self, nothingness, no external environment, no embodiment) --> Everythingness (You literally become everything.) --> Godhead (Singularity, Riding the Ox Backwards) --> To love realm --> embodiment in mind, body, world, universe... then, what is it? It will just be more, and more, and more, and more of everything, of absolute infinity within God. In everythingness (infinity), any part of it, the stories do not end. In other words, how long do you want the stories? It's time to find an effective way to point to God after becoming it. That's the journey. Before that, it's pursuing a profound life purpose. Not so easy to do these things, is it?

@Dylan Page meaning is the reason the universe was created. The nothingness wanted to become something and birthed creation. Ego created the spark to all this and should not be vilified. The need to create something and add meaning is a beautiful thing when exercised through freewill. If you can facilitate something to offer as much meaning in others as much as possible you then have a movement or movements.

@Serotoninluv It is getting complicated, so I will try and make it as simple as possible and cut out the complexity. We are all One. There is but Love in this world, everything else is illusion. It is Love that binds us together and connects us. Hate and mistrust, on the other hand, separates us. When we Love, we unite and become One. In Unity, there is diversity, yet, there is no separation, because we exist in a continuum, all unique in our own way, but we also have points of connection, where we merge into each other and it is no longer possible to tell where one of us starts and the other ends. It is at these connection points that various forms of love manifest, depending on the kind of relationship we have with one another. This could be friendship, neighbourliness, kindness, familial love, romantic love, etc... But, the highest form of love is divine love, which is love for all. All other forms of love are pale reflections of the real thing and in our lives, what we ultimately seek is divine love, expressed through unity consciousness. All throughout our lives, we seek connection and meaning. Even our various addictions are a desperate search to find, meaning, connection and unity. What we ultimately all want is to love and be loved. The forces inherent in the illusory mirror world that we're lost in pull us away from each other. Our memory of our divine nature and what it means to be ONE is what draws us closer together. When we serve the forces of Unity and Love, we move the whole world closer together to its ultimate source. Fear of unity and the insecurities that come with it are what fuel hate and separation. Our ultimate destiny is to regain unity consciousness and to reintegrate our souls into a greater whole, from which we consciously separate ourselves every waking moment of our lives, even in our sleep and as reincarnation proves, even in our death. We are consciously resisting drifting back into unity by constantly building and maintaining barriers between us and others. Reversing that requires letting go and not doing, in other words, stopping the conscious and constant sabotage of our own happiness and bliss. When we let go of the ego, our fears, insecurities, hatred and all other separational emotions and consciousness vehicles, that is when the bliss of infinity and nothingness, of unbound love and unadulterated joy becomes our reality. Because at this moment, we are filled with light, some refer to this re-emergence of unity consciousness as enlightenment.

I can relate to your problem. I think it's normal to disassociate with the body and mind after a big experience. When your an ego chasing enlightenment you take on a lot of spiritual conditioning in the process. This is a trap I found myself in , and I think many people get stuck in for a while. It's a spiritual ego. An ego that thinks it knows. Either it takes on a superior act (the I know and you dont) or It takes on the existential dread act (the everything is meaningless and nothingness and hopeless, but it's own interpretations of these words). I have found myself in both of these traps multiple times before. The book by adyashanti "the end of your world" talks about this. I saw a video by a guy named Matt Kahn the other day and he really opened my eyes to something. He said "it's okay to have an ego," omg you're not allowed to say that right? But just feel into it. Doesn't it feel better to just embrace that you might have an ego, and that you inhabit a body? It's easy to get stuck in between the world and the "spiritual realms" or whatever, this might ground you a little. ?

I have had only one meeting with an "enlightened being." It was very nice and we could look into each others eyes and dissolve into nothingness together. The meeting brought clarity and a sense of healing, but not enlightenment. Nobody can give you enlightenment, so be nobody.

I just wanted to tell you thank you thank you thank you my brother for all u do... this last what is death video is incredible and in my opinion your absolute highest teaching.(of course all your material is the highest what else could it be ?) I wanted to mention something I thought sounded cool... If you take your two sides to the same coin saying and flick it into a perfect circle that's nonduality. As humans we are walking talking contradictions. To speak it is false, to be silent is truth and vice versa and everything in between. Spiral Wizardry, awakeness as awakeness, between nothing and everything is, we are all saying the same thing we just think we describe it differently, pregnant nothingness, to dissolve the false self is to become everything and nothing(coin flick), stage yellow beerbonging turquoise hehe(I know you'll like that one). Don't forget to jump back in and play some Divine game of Lila every now and then. There's no falling back asleep on this one so it's cool to dabble back in duality here n there or not. I'm sure you already know that haha. My only question is will you party with me at Burning Man when I retire in 2022 from the Navy. I want to try some of this hi Consciousness DMT juice you guys all talk about haha. Can we make this happen? Much respect Joy love peace life reality consciousness I hope it is all bestowed upon you my brother. Thank you for your work and I apologize for ever disrespecting you in anyway love love love. Let's walk each other home ❤ He talks a little about your dying tree... it's all just one living organism ❤

Chill bro don't worry about it. Having a mind is overrated. Embrace The Everpresent Now. Let the nothingness engulf you until you disappear.