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Friday 04/12/2020, 02:36 I may have been compulsive in my actions today, but it's interesting what state I've been in. I woke up feeling super foggy and dissociated. But I also sense a super sense of concentration. And I may have behaved compulsively today a lot with my addictions as I do normally, but just pausing and watching myself, I feel different. A bit more relaxing and space-like. Maybe it's because I started kriya yoga again, but its also my SSRI withdrawal. Time to keep at it, it might be promising despite the multiple deadlines and stressors in my life rn. Thinking a lot about uni work, as well as the funeral for one of my best friends coming up. I might be anxious, be worried, be in pain, be distracted, but I feel a deep sense of excitement and ease anyway. My vibe and feeling is perfectly described this track. Just so relaxing and space like, but also alien and extraterrestrial with the unknown

Here's the thing - your interpretation of this experience and trip is valid. Yeah reality is a pretty vicious, alien, and scary place. Everything you just listed cannot be fought using philosophy because it's completely valid. Yet equally, it's completely empty of meaning. Right now you've bought into the story you're telling yourself about reality. You've bought into and are believing hook line and sinker that reality is this awful scary place and that everything is doom and gloom. Can see how this story is 1) a story and 2) empty of inherent meaning? What if the meaninglessness you feel is just as meaningless? What if you were allowed to see reality as infinitely meaningful, beautiful, cosmic, sacred? Mushrooms can be harsh teachers and I'm sorry to hear you had such a traumatic experience. Yet, you can also use this trip as a way to orient yourself towards nihilism. Until you fully integrate meaninglessness through surrender, acceptance, and love, you will be repressing it. It sounds like the mushrooms brought that fear out of your mind and forced you to acknowledge it. Rather than just slowly forgetting about the trip, or trying to mask its lessons with another trip or more drugs, I'd suggest integrating what you learned. Practical take aways - 1 hour of meditation per day, MINIMUM. If you don't have a serious meditation practice, tripping is pretty useless and won't get you very far. Let the trips provide rocket fuel to your sober practice, and let sober practice provide the grounding, soil, and nutrients for the trip to take hold. Journal about this experience. Start questioning all of your beliefs around the experience. In what ways may you be deceiving yourself? Is it possible the trip magnified your own fears about reality? In what ways is your view of reality limited, partial, and relative? Can you find gratitude and metta for the experience? How has this trip made you wiser? Etc. Yoga / Exercise - spend time reconnecting with your body and emotions through physicality. This will help provide grounding and a sense of security. Spend time in nature - notice how at peace nature is. Notice the intrinsic beauty it gives of, how quiet, still, tranquil, subtle, and lovely it all is. A tree has nothing but metta for you. Sit with one until you feel it, and perhaps start by projecting metta towards it. I've found that there is an energetic re-harmonization of my body/mind/heart spending time in nature which is particularly helpful after really powerful trips. Know that you are stronger because of this experience. It's another stop on your path. Let it be what it was, but let it go.

What alien tongue is this? Wtf is a goodest boy and this french cryptic message

I'm in a pensive mood today. In a sort of segue from my most recent post, I think I've identified the cause of my, what do I call it? indifference? limbo? stuckness? It's the existential tussle between stillness and motion (a.k.a. The Story) . I think I need to elaborate. For me stillness has the following connotations: Centredness, stoicism, reliability, steadfastness, confidence, aloofness, status quo, minimalism, low effort, avoidance. You get the picture hopefully. In turn these things are about the following possibly unconnected ideas: Protection from and avoidance of bad stuff; freedom from others' problems and needs and dictats; freedom to be and do what I want; yearning to be accepted and loved; being respectful and trustworthy; being decent to others; being unemotional. A large part of my character is pensive, passive and analytical. Whether by nature or nurture (my father is pensive, passive and analytical) I don't know. So far in my life the Stillness has served me well enough. I have plenty of money, stability, health, a roof over my head and peers to keep me going until I die. This is contrast to my immediate family, who are on benefits, needing to be financially bailed out, needing a crutch of a man, or perenially skint and in varying states of ill health. I'm the wonder child. I'm the sensible first child. Except this is never acknowledged whatsoever by anyone. Instead I just get used by everyone - basically it's low conscious ignorant behaviour on their parts. I suppose I'm virtue signalling here, I'll stop. To summarise stillness has taken care of my survival needs. Ok, so on to motion: Excitement, energy, fun, laughter, purpose, direction, change, flowing, freedom, creativity, curiosity, productivity, novelty, collaboration, building, adventure, development, optimism - all in no particular order. The other side of the story of me, is that I have a boisterous, funny, loud and energetic side. This is connected with the following ideas: Getting attention and love; authenticity and freedom; feeling good and/or high; connection to others; helping others; bringing joy and humour; being silly; physicality; breaking rules; making and creating stuff; being responsive and fluid; improvisation. I was quite an energetic kid. From a young age I spent all my time outdoors, in an urban environment. Occasionaly it was threatening or physically dangerous. Physicality was the order of the day. Saying that, I was never that boisterous or overbearing, not a bully. And it was mostly about playing games, exploring the environment and being part of a group. In summary motion is about living life and being in alignment with it, flowing with it. Reading the above back to myself is actually useful. Due to my age, circumstance and super ingrained habits I've become very insular and still and now it's hurting me, despite it being authentic. I need much much more motion to be fully authentic and respectful to myself. Otherwise life is not worth continuing with. The big question is how? How do I achieve that motion? I have no choice other than to be an adult, and a not young one at that. I can't behave like a child playing games and going exploring any more - I have to do grown up versions of those if at all. And people rely on me for their survival. I am actually completely lost on how to do that. It seems that everyone around me acts in the following way: thought -> want -> action. That seems to be motivation enough for them. I find it exceptionally robotic and mindless. I only appear to act out of necessity, none of my thoughts seem to generate any form of motivation or want or at least enough for me to take action. The way other people carry on seems alien to me, even if it's authentic to them. I'm not a complete lost cause though. I do have interests and minor motivations. But the interests are very analytical and pensive, mostly programming projects, or musical interests. And I have desires, but these are too vague or big or overwhelming to take action on. Put a different way, any motion I desire is in complete contradiction to the stillness I desire. Stillness is winning, but it's unbalancing me. So here are my ragbag of my Vague Desires in Motion (I really should get a dreamboard going and maintained): Not to work for someone else To be out in the sunshine year round and to be closer to nature To use my body constantly, be physical, exert energy To be with an authentic beautiful woman who is self sufficient and energetic and adventurous Not to have money concerns or survival concerns (I have this already though) To build my own house with my own hands To tread lightly in the world, be self sufficient and connected to my environment To be highly creative, use intelligence and skills and make an impact on people Just to be allowed to be "let loose" and be me without judgement Give up programming and sitting in front of a monitor, and just have it as an occasional hobby To be away from the death grip of my parents' problems One of my old maxims apply here: if you do nothing, nothing will change.

Of course there is staging involved, yet to me you are saying that since there is any incident of staging, anything goes. Evidence and rationale no longer matter. It just depends on the context. If we creating fictional stories for video games, dreams, novels and movies evidence and rationale aren't very important. Yet if we are creating and living within a functional society, evidence and rationale becomes important. For example, let's say I go on a date and a woman lies about her income to impress me. We could say that she is staging - yet it doesn't mean everything is staged and we can make up whatever we want. It would be unreasonable to say "Ah ha! She just staged that! So that means she could actually be an alien that is conspiring with Bill Gates to control human minds through vaccines to create a collective Borg Mind. And this isn't even a cafe we are in - it is part of her Borg Mind and the waiter is actually Bill Gates!". That becomes creative fiction in which evidence doesn't matter. That is great stuff in some contexts. If we were creating a science fiction movie - then evidence doesn't matter and we can make up all kinds of whacky stories.

@Sempiternity what???? ??? maybe it was really an Alien who put it there ????

Of course it can. But only within limits. You will never get a donkey to understand calculus. Because he doesn't have the necessary hardware. The problem here is that talented people take their talents for granted because they have no idea what it's like not to have their talents. Someone born enlightened will not understand why everyone else is not enlightened and acting so stupid. This is not just a hypothetical. I've actually met people like this. It takes them a long time to learn that they are unique and different from everyone else. It is a big practical problem for them. They are like an alien among their own kind. If sticking 5-MeO-DMT up your ass counts as grace, then I guess grace it is.

Hahaha what a good boooy ?? he really looks like an Alien dog ??

@Rilles I would probably be a different being. Like a different kind of an animal. Or an alien. Consciousness is creative.

Have you truly thought it through, Connor? Congrats for your realizations, but you seem to be kinda stuck witin a solipsistic phase. Here are some points to think through before taking a metaphysical standpoint as yours: First of all, there are so called split-brain patients. Their corpus callosum is cut so their hemisheres aren't connected anymore. Interestingly when you give them a key to the right hand they can say what it is but don't know how to use it. Within the left hand they can now open doors but don't know what the object is called. But if you ask them whether their perception of reality has changed since the operation, they confidently reply "no" in most of the cases (left hemisphere is replying). So these patients experience two realities at once, but without direct communication between both. So both parts aren't directly conscious of the other part, which then appears to be unconscious. Secondly, the limits of space and time that a human experiences must not necessarily be the limits of space and time god imposes upon itself. Let me further explain: Obviously our human capacity to understand time is very limited. We tend to think about it in a very linear way. But why should time really be this way? Does it actually exist? Maybe god does not experience time in a one-dimensional linear way but rather as a two-dimensional (or higher) plane? Then there are infinite parallel sets of linear time. Why limiting god to only one linear time axes? Within a two-dimensional timeplane one of the axes represents our linear causality we all are used to, while the other represents the spectrum of all beings possible. The whole timeplane is nothing but "the NOW", with each crosspoint being a moment within spacetime. All are interconnected and simoultaniously experienced within (by) god. But same principle as with the split-brain patients: for the left hemisphere, the right becomes unconscious and vice versa. As for one being, all the others become unconscious and vice versa. As from one perspective, all the others become inaccessible and so on.... Isn't this a much better explanation for what god can do with infinite (!) intelligence/imagination? I mean, does experiencing an ant require the same intelligence as experiencing a superintelligent alien? Are the little bits of information an ant processes really all that god could experience at once? Yeah, you are the only entity, and that's you. Because ants, humans etc. are no real entities/beeings, but different (simoultanious/parallel) persperctives of the same being (god) upon it self. They don't have any independent substance/reality. I could present more arguments but I don't know whether you are even interested in these philosophical abstractions. I just want to remind you to not to be too quickly with stating absolute facts, first of all you can delude and limit yourself and secondly you could delude all your listeners. Maybe you have already overcome the solipsistic phase but not everyone took the work as serious as you did. If you tell your audience everyone is simply an NPC you may cause serious damage. It's important to realize that every limited being is an NPC, including yourself! That the only non-NPC is the only unlimited being called god. We're all on the same way and none of us has figured it all out, because we're all just part of the same game. But don't limit god to single player mode. Within quantum computing all possible processing routes are taken simoultaniously. It's a brainfuck, but closer to reality. This doesnt interfere with the absolute oneness paradigm, it's not a bug but a feature.

@fluffy_fractalshard These things are just projections and archetypes of your mind. Maybe they are really conscious sentient entities woven into the information of the universe, but they are just playing a role if that is the case. There are not literal starships out there in space fighting the exact alien wars you're talking about. It's a psychological thing. And I do think a lot of it is metaphorical.

@IAmReallyImportant I found the alien sex part very unrealistic.

You got me wrong. I dismissed not the psychic but her prediction. I myself do tarot card reading. (but not professionally). My journal is always full of Stage Purple spirituality as well as Green Spirituality. Some psychics are really good and I can easily tell. What put me off was the elaborate nature of the alien experience. Psychics usually provide bits and pieces.

It is funny, I was just about to make a post about psychics, that I don't believe anything enlightened people say about the "objective" world. And That I needed proof for the paranormal, especially things about psychics. Things I don't consider paranormal anymore is synchronicity, even though I have absolutely no idea how that works or how this can be possible, aliens, and the healing power of the self. I'm gonna play the sceptic to show you the possible scam: Do you know that your crown chakra is wide open? Or do you believe it after she told you? That's not something provable. You know that everyone who even thinks about going to a psychic doesn't do it out of rationality, but out of curiosity and intuition. Everyone who goes to the psychic will say that what she mentioned about intuition/insight/downloading information/reading people's emotions. Would say that it is 100percent accurate to them. People who don't believe in the paranormal don't go to psychics, and even those who don't believe in the paranormal them have some kind of "paranormal" experience, they just forget it or think they were tricked by their own mind. Having visions is synchronicity, again I don't know what that is, but a lot of people experience it, it is weird, but it saying that there is synchronicity in your life, doesn't make me a psychic, and it doesn't make her a psychic either. If she had specifically mentioned that you had seen UFO's I would not have made that point. But I guess she didn't, or didn't directly read it out of you. Psychics also use a sequence of things, how you react to previous answers, to guess the next thing they can read out of you. For example (I of course don't know if that is the case) you told her that you have seen UFOS, and she tells you that your soul came from some kind of alien race, that was saved. If you agreed that you had visions of the past, she would have told you that you were a magician in Atlantis or some small deviation of that. Reading someone's personality, is a skill, but not a paranormal one. Some people are really good at it, she read you, not your soul. Or did she tell you something so specific like : your attachement anxiety comes from the fact that your grandmother left you 10 years ago after being diagnosed with lung cancer, and she chose to stay in hospice. I have made countless "soul travel" in a mild hypnotic state. It's just the mind creating them. However an enlightened woman I know claimed you can travel through dimensions when you let go of the nothingness, which is real. I doubt that, honestly. She once spoke russian while being asleep without having learned it. Not sure about if that's the case or just an illusion. Siddhis are also not proven to work by outside observers. I don't say real psychics are not a thing, I have just not seen anything that I would consider proof. Things that I would consider proof are specific things, you write down before on a sheet that are most important to you, and then you see if the psychic tells you those things specifically. If not then it's too general. Self proclaimed psychics all do their research before, those that do that, are scam artists and deserve to be fined for misleading people and scamming them. If someone here claims to be a psychic, then tell me what topic you would like to read from me, I'll write down a lot about the topic, and then compare it after the reading. And I am not paying any money for this experiment, if it works, we might find a way to make it provable and measurable in a quantified way.

Sensation of these mental energies are real, but "cold reading" is also a thing. I don't believe any of the starseed alien nonsense, which is just belief. Just use your common sense. Magic is real, but use your intuition and you'll find all these starseed garbage is basically no different than any made-up religion.

@Nahm @electroBeam Hahahaha. That Christmas vacation gif was very funny to be honest. Reminded me of the Thanksgiving holiday season. This year Thanksgiving is going to be so comical with some people deciding whether to invite people or not for dinner, it's funny how trapped we are with this whole covid thing that Thanksgiving might feel like an alien experience. It truly is adorable though how we can really appreciate even little casual moments in times such as these. Its like all love light laughter until a virus comes along. Bwahahaha.

Green hell 8.5/10 A great survival game with an actual storyline . You take ayahuasca multiple times in the game. It is very enjoyable. Frostpunk 10/10 Great citybuilding/survival game. You are responsible for building a city in the middle of frost that had covered earth. Many will die and you will have to take many hard decisions. Stage blue vibes. Blair witch project 7/10 Nice horror game. You play as a person complaining of PTSD/schizophrenia searching for a missing boy. The long dark 8.5/10 A brilliant survival game in the Canadian wilderness. You are against frost, storms and even wolves. Factorio 8/10 Factories building on an alien planet. Death stranding 9/10 Stunning visuals, calming environment. I think you have heard of it but still. The walking dead series 8/10 Very nice and can get intense and emotional as you develop attachment to the character

If you happen to enjoy exploration and/or survival games, I'd highly recommend Subnautica. Simply put, it's almost certainly the best Survival/Exploration game I've ever played. The game drops you on an alien Ocean world and asks you to survive without any weapons by exploring your environment and understanding its ecology.

This question goes to the heart of identity. I have been working through a lot of this myself. When you toss a stone into the sea of Consciousness, your realizations ripple outward. It can be disorienting. Everything you based your identity on begins to dissolve. 1. My person is an illusion. 2. The persons I love are also an illusion. 3. The entire world is an illusion. 4. What does morality mean? 5. Why does anything matter? For me, the solace has been returning to the core realization. I am Consciousness. When I realize Consciousness, what is it? Does Consciousness feel like an alien scientist that is spinning out energy forms in a sterile cosmic laboratory? Partly yes, but it is much more than that. Consciousness also feels infinitely abundant, and eternally brims with light and love. There is no hatred, evil, or suffering in it. These things only exist in the world of form, not because they are Conscious, but because they are Unconscious. The realization of Consciousness is the banishing of these things, and the battle between Consciousness and Unconsciousness goes forever. One cannot exist without the other, and both are inevitable, as long as Consciousness dreams. This morning, I was wondering why the Buddha, after his enlightenment, felt compassion for the world. He knew that the world is an illusion, including the people in it. Why feel compassion for a dream, with such ferocity that you are willing to leave Nirvana, and spend another 40 years loving characters in the dream? The Buddha knew that Consciousness created the world for a reason. People are not only dream characters; we are Consciousness itself, dreaming. Consciousness is divine. The creations it enlivens are its temple. We are not just abstract video characters; we are the divine experiencing its own creation. Sorry for the long answer, but it boils down to this. Realizing Consciousness frees you from fear, but not from responsibility. Waking up from the dream actually creates responsibility. Consciousness is committed to its creation, and it loves through you.

@seeking_brilliance that one is just a character I created for a comic magazine that a group of colleagues published. We created a comic artist coop and we published our comics there. The magazine was called “Balazo” in Spanish. The translation to English would be something like “gunshot” or something like that. we published like 12 issues in the 2000. Then I came to USA and they published some more issues until they stopped doing it. The story is a sci fix story, very simple around a guy who is a kind of antihero, mercenary, but with a big heart Lol and it’s mostly making fun a little bit of classic sci fun stories, like Star Wars, Flash Gordon, Alien, etc. It has monsters and aliens and I am creating it while I do it, I have stories written from other writers who held me to bring the characters to life. Thanks for your comments @seeking_brilliance it helps me to keep the flame alive ? ?

I felt divine energy last night. I thought about God, the universe, alien worlds, infinity, rebirth and death a lot. You can't imagine what was going inside me. God worked through me in weird ways and I became aware of the illusion of the maya. I became aware of my etheric body when I saw a ghost. A middle-aged man, strongly masculine and highly intelligent. Probably died of coronavirus. He said to me why dont you leave this body. I am a cripple. He saw through my energy that I was suffering my physical body. After I woke up it was creepy when I realized that the ghost was real. Being a cripple, I needed to discipline my etheric body so that I hold this body. So when I went to sleep I said I am not the etheric body because I feared that I might die and not return to body. I wasnt dreaming at all. When I woke up my etheric body is shaking the physical because I didnt surrender to dreaming. How do I bring back balance to my body. Should I do hatha yoga? I disturbed the organization of my energies all because I said I am not the etheric body.

You're assuming that shared behavior means shared experience. This doesn't have to be the case. You could display the same behavior with different stimuli (and vice versa) and the same stimuli can be perceived in different ways. An alien without our sense organs would also probably not agree with "a minimum common reality". The idea you're referring to has been given many names throughout history by people like Aristoteles and John Locke (the idea that certain qualities are perceivable through mutiple senses like form, size, movement etc.). They contrasted this with the more relativistic sense qualities like heat, colour etc. (more prone to adaptation). They used this to argue that we do infact have access to some shared reality, but this has been challenged by more modern models like "top-down" perceptual processing (their models assume "bottom-up" processing). Top-down processing describes how sense qualities like form, size and distance are subject to conditioning instead of being innate to the perceptual system.

I love women, sometimes even feel like I worship them, but this is complex as I know it's not the role I feel most men should adopt if they wanna satisfy most women. I didn't think I could develop purely male traits but I did with time in my couple, even in bed, and I like it. I also love some aspects of feminity as far as I can perceive, but females also feel alien to me. I learn to know the people disregarding their gender in the end, but I can clearly see difference, some social contructs, some not. On one hand I just wanna worship women, on the other hand I feel some kind of strong independant side in me and my thin experience of relationship seems to tell me that, despite the true love that's between us, men and women (or any couple) are not meant to live together sometimes. But I might be wrong, really. On any of those questions. Almost 100% confortable expressing my emotions (if you mean when in couple, obviously not on the questions I started the topic with, but I think that's an exception, we talk about everything as far as we can). I'm someone that's not perceived to be angry, and I'm not most of the time, you really have to push me far or trigger certain thins (hitting on weak/"dumb" people or animals, otherwise, you can say pretty much anything and it's usually pretty hard to trigger me). As for fear, I have anxiety problems. Most of the time I think it comes from either health (speak about something and I start getting afraid I have it or I jsut imagine symptoms and derail into panic attacks), or time (I will never have enough time to satisfy both my crreative need and the desire to consume an exhaustive list of things I want to watch/read/listen to) I love mother and same goes with her. Also my father. We're extremely different and the 3 of us are clumsy in relationships but we know we love each other and I only feel warmth when I'm not annoyed by their conservative views of the world. As for patterns it seems obvious that anxiety comes from both of my parents. I don't think anything else is noteworthy. I never tried working with my inner child. Will look into it even if the concept didn't resonnate with me the few times I heard about it in some spiritual teacher's videos. I feel like this whole child track is "wrong", but where else can I even look at... I think I get the idea and I've already heard it before, but I never managed to see how my kinks fit this pattern, sorry... I'm not sure I experienced any of those... My brain feels number than ever these days, I'm experiencing a deeper and deeper depression, so I'm having trouble putting the pieces together, but maybe being the opposite of protected and loved coming the form of being hurt and degraded is valid? I'm having trouble actually feeling this idea but that's as far as I can see. I mean, being loved and protected, what kind of fetish does that usually generates in a child? And thanks for the books recommandations. Will take a look.

Mine is probably that I regularly (almost every day) have crown chakra based telepathic communication with the gray alien species well known in pop culture. Through my higher chakras being opened, I’ve also communicated with Archangel Michael, Terence McKenna, and my Higher Self. I’m interested to hear your unbelievable but true experiences! Here’s a full breakdown of my experiences with the grays: The Grays - My Story of ET Contact

@BipolarGrowthOperate at beyond belief level and beyond language level, everything will be unbelievable. The question is how did you believe anything in the first place? Most of your experiences sound to be operating at the projection of mind level projecting illusory gray alien, illusory Archangel Michael, illusory Terence McKenna, and your illusory ego-mind self. Ask how could I be deceived by illusion talking to an illusion? Thanks for sharing though!