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Remembers are thoughts and are the ego, so it impossible that you remember anything before the ego. The question is, what is you without ego? It's the awakening I think Let's see, for now I have to agree, I had realizations but not a true awakening. When I realized the nothingness, was only nothingness, but many people had very different experience. I think 5 meo could be the tool, but not smoked like I use, too short

If you never learn that what is a thought, body, universe, life, existence, yourself or awakening, what would you be? Answer is you would be already yourself. Anything you have learned is an illusion, even the word of “illusion” is an illusion. So where were you before the birth? Answer is you were already yourself thats why you don’t remember. Because “remember” is something that you have learned. Unfortunately, imo, psychedelics cant help you to awaken, you can experience nothingness, but you wont be able to grasp awakening. Because when you consume psychedelics you are considering the thought that you have a body and you are inside of it. You will be nothing rapidly and come back the egoic self.

If your mind stops, nothingness manifests. it's pretty obvious right? With your mental "movement" you are creating this reality, space, time (or re-creating, it doesn't means that there only exist in your mind, but for you it is). So when your mind stops you perceive that all space-time reality is an illusion. nothing magical for now, simple mechanics. the question is how that nothing has the potential to produce that thought. You say that it is not the nothingness, is me ... ah yes, but it happens that I am nothing, as I came from the nothingnes, then? As leo is not around here, I am going to say what he would say: kill yourself with 30 mg of 5meo in your nose or in your ass . For me it's a good advice, maybe for you too

During my psychedelic experiences I had similar feelings and visions,. Mine was mostly seeing a lot of fractals and some distortions. I suffered derealizations and felt like I was leaving my own body through my extremities. The body felt like a prison and reality felt like a mask placed on a matrix. Life looked infinite, there was no presence of time and people looked one, a single entity being divided into so many units.. At some point there was fear, at some point it was blissful like the cosmos is all nothingness. It felt like liberation but it wouldn't last long.

Nothingness is not doing something or creating thoughts. So called you creating them with so called thinking. But, you, thinking, perceiving, illusions are just thoughts. Additionally, even thought is not a thought it is so called thought. It has no name, because it is nothing. Everything is so called exist because “you” named and labeled it as naming and labeling your labeling yourself as “you” , thoughts as “thoughts”. Nothing is happening. Actually even word of “nothing” is something, therefore it has no name, but it is you.

This is the point. You (and me) can't perceive how the nothingness create a thought. The nothingness is doing something. Not something, everything. Only thoughts , illusions, but exist. I can't understand how this duality exist, I saw the nothing and the illusion many times ( there is not I, etc, yes I know but still you perceived). Anyone who went deeper is going to say that there is not duality, nothing=everything, but I can't understand. So more visits to the nothing, more time, more deep, are needed.

There is no you there, because you are exist as a thought and because of your monkey mind chanting to you. If that stops you become that nothingness because when your monkey mind stops how can you say “me”? When you say there is no me there, thats the monkey mind. There is no you because you are already that absence. Your monkey mind or thought process makes you separate than nothingness. Yes, unfortunately ego can not accept and face with it. Terrifying for ego. Ego hates surrendering, nothingness is completely surrendering. Whatever makes you happy brother! Have fun!

I think there is truth in what you say. If I do 5meo in a more or less high dose, I come to nothingness and it seems to me that I am on the ground of reality, but although it seems that there is no me there, there is a rejection of nothing. horror. even so when I return I perceive that in that nothing is the key, but I don't see where or how. I cannot accept it, it is absence, zero, death. I have to go back to that nothing until I can be that, it's something really scary

Because nothing is absolute. Definitely. ?Therefore i am saying that awakening is the must. Because no one can comprehend that nothing is nothing therefore absolute. Everyone needs a direct experience of nothingness to get out process of thoughts , which is pure consciousness. All is one, one is all. Yes, you are right. So it is impossible to explain to others that what is nothingness. Definitely is so beautiful. Thats what we are. We are all nothing, therefore identical. Therefore unconditional love❤️

I think I understand what you want to expressing, but why you use the name or adjective nothingness? It's not adaquate. Nothingness is a zero, being is something. Not material , or visible, but different than nothing

@James123 yes papaji said that, nothing, zero, absence of anything. But observe yourself. Are you nothing? Even the smallest thought is not nothingness. You didn't remember nothing before your birth because there are not remembers before. There was no time so nothing happens, no space so no shape. Seems like nothing. But the nothing is, if not , how a thought is being creating?

You can experience nothingness with psychedelics, but i dont think you can be awaken with psychedelics. I didn’t use psychedelics in my awakening and used 10 gram shrooms 2 years ago. There is so many steps to go after psychedelics. Yes i am sure. There is no coming back. Coming, going, ego, psychedelics, me, you are just thoughts. Of course i am an illusion as a separate self. These all sentences are identical, they are me and you. Because it is nothing, and nothing is absolute. Your entire life and duality is just a process of thoughts. When you get out of it, you will realize that whatever you have learned is something, but you are nothing, you can never be learned, can just be. Thats why you don’t remember before birth. These sentences are not explanations, they are you. If you consider them as explanations, yes they are illusions. All sentences are identical, because it nothing. Nothing has never happened. Because all there is nothing and all happening is nothing. ?? ☀️

Are you sure? Maybe you are stuck in that nothingness that you perceived with those 10 grs of mushroom. I had similar experience a couple of times but I think there is another step to do. When you come back to the illusion and the ego, how it is possible? Your explanation is that all is illusion, so it nothing, itsnt it? But it isn't, nothingness is nothingness, void, zero. No illusion, ego, nothing

Love how he turned our "nothingness" into a concrete matterr (nothingness because every other opinion is just bs... no superiority or anything. No hierarchy, therefore nothingness, universality. At least what I took from it...) I remember his latest two spiral dynamics videos to be excellent too (lots of awesome info there that I enjoyed, similar to the conscious politics series, with all its models and lists of ideas... grunt work that payed off beautiful haha.)

@Moksha Just nothingness.

Attempting to stop thoughts is attempting to re-condition the mind to stop itself from carrying out its function. You can try it, but notice the conflict created and never resolved. It pits the mind against itself, which is a battle, in the end, it will lose. What may be more advantageous is to bring into greater awareness the profound subtleties of mind, which include cerebral thought and emotional feeling. You could do a little research to understand the mechanisms and functions of these basic two aspects (i.e., cerebral brain versus hormonal brain) and how they interact as the mind-body organism and psychological self. It gets interesting. The "nothingness" you speak of is more likely the mind trying to "project nothingness" as a means of attaining something, when in fact, that's just a mind game. Mind is movement within the Nothingness that one already is, the Void (as Zenners call it). Mind wants nothing to do with that; it wants to maintain control, so it is very likely happy to assume that it understands this "nothingness", when in Truth, it can't.

No. Actually it's the contrary in my experience, since with a silent mind, your awareness for all occurring sensations is heightened. Oh but there's no difference between the breeze and nothing If the breeze is, then focus on the breeze. Try not to get too hung up on whatever it is that you call "nothingness".

Good, this helps me innerstand you a little more and appreciate your present state. Thanks for sharing. In the OP, you mentioned the following: "I have learned some valuable lessons all this years but some times i feel like is just to much for me. I completely understand why I am imaginary, why everything is just layers and layers and layers of imagination. I “understand” the nature of nothingness ( I grasp it with my whole being ), I understand why reality is nothing but perspective. I see myself most of the time in other people ( their voice, emotions, eyes, expressions, words they choose...) . I understand what love is ( it cured me). I have advanced levels of darkness, if I could call it like that , which have turned into a great artistic hunger?. I have embodied all this stuff. But sometimes I get some sort of backclash / fear about everything, a general terror about everything, dealing with day to day life could be fucking harsh, and everything could go away in an instant..." This leads me to believe you have done quite a bit of introspection, have been involved in a major shift of perspective (perhaps even attempted using a more disruptive approach), and now you want to start using music, a true lifelong love of yours, as a vehicle. Does that sound about right? Music can be used as an outward expression of an inner journey, and journeys are, typically, always about seeking. What you may be seeking could be considered the melody that weaves through the body of your work. That melody, in turn, might work to further harmonize the various aspects of a life you are examining, and making such a life worth living (thank you, Socrates). Some of what you are seeking can be "assumed" from what you have shared, but perhaps it is better if you express that in your own words. I sense that is why you have posted, and that's great. Maybe it's what you "understand" about nature of nothingness, and/or the attempt to grasp it with "your whole being"... not sure. So, here, please clarify.

@Corpus thanks for all good info and advice. very helpful. Yeah.. tell me about.. 5 years ago accidentally overdoes 2cb. I Didn't even know what I was about to snort and asked for the big fat line Experienced the scariest and traumatic experience followed by ego death and merging into the black void. The total piece, nothingness. Completely transformed my life. Not sure if this life-time will be enough to actualise! However, I'm very careful about my trips now. I do them thoughtfully and loveingly.

What is reality like? God, consciousness, awareness, You, are the infinitesimally thin film, with colours constantly shifting around. The bubble show started from nothingness itself; one uniform colour with no structure, that is non-duality, that is nothingness.

I wanted to post a status update for you all. I'm doing a little better. Actually I'm doing pretty well compared to how I was these past couple of days. I decided to watch this youtube video (attached at the bottom; let me know if that's against the rules or something). Summarizing in my own words: it claims you don't exist and that finding nothingness will free you from your thought/ego/suffering. And for whatever reason, its resonating with me. I'm just sitting here doing my best to defocus on nothingness, and my mind / sense of self is quieting. And all my suffering is slowly fading. That being said, the more I think and type the worse I feel. So I think I'm going to take a step back from this forum for a bit and just focus on this new path. I am still curious to hear what you all have to say, so feel free to respond and I'll come back when I'm ready. But until then, I wish the absolute best for all of you. And I mean that, I really do. Lastly I want to let you all know that I had very little faith that this community would help me. I imagined you all being these super high conciousness ego beings who wouldn't give two shits about my sob story. But instead I was shown compassion and support that literally brougt me to tears (and I didn't cry at the end of Toy Story 3). Thank you so very much each and every one of you, I love you, and good night.

He says that realizing God is yet just another stage of awakening, and that we shouldn't stop there and try to go beyond. He says next state is after realizing you are everything and God, you work on realizing you are nothing. Not even nothing. And then dissolve into reality. Then he says even beyond is realizing that reality is beyond being and non-being, beyond perception and non-perception. edit: tho i'd say you if you can do the nothingness thing then you will simultaneously be conscious that you are everything and also nothing. I think he said that in the video as well.

Thank you everyone for your support. I'm crying tears of dread and confusion, but most importantly love for each of you. I can't express my gratitude enough. Hopefully with your guidance I can climb out of my despair. First of all, I can't believe you responded Leo; now it's certain that reality must be my imagination lol. But really, I want you to know that I love you and are absolutely amazing and, even though your videos scare the shit out of me now, you have been the single greatest influence in my spiritual journey. Thank you. And I love you Nihlus, Consilience, Rilles, Breakingthewall, Free Mind, and whoever else offers their help. Thank you so much for your wisdom and compassion. Now that the ooey gooey stuff is out of the way, I would like to clarify some of the great information you've shared with me. This first post will be regarding Leo's response, the following posts addressing the others. However I ultimately know it's my responsibility to get through this, so silence is a perfectly valid answer. Yup my mushroom dose was too high: I wanted to see the truth and got monkey pawed more than I could have ever imagined. That's 100% on me, and now it is my responsibility to deal with the repercussions. This really helps me with understanding why I feel so "bad". Knowing that it's possible to know this reality and still be ok really helps out with my sense of doom / not being ok. And hearing that its the best possible news gives me a sense of hope. I'll try and become aware of ways I can make this imaginary reality meaningful and positive. It's also great to hear that I need to integrate this with my ego. Through my research I was under the assumption that spiritual work / enlightenment is meant to kill off the ego, but now I'm thinking it's more about living in the best way ... imaginable. Or as one of your older videos stated: improve the quality of your consciousness. Some people like their egos, some would rather kill off their egos, and some would like to meditate on nothingness. I need to learn how to accept the seemingly unacceptable, and I'm sure that's going to take a lifetime of work. But I'll do my best. Another message of hope, thank you. I've been trying to separate my experience from the reaction to my experience, but I find that to be extremely difficult. I'll try to become more aware of the stories I'm telling myself about this reality. I'm still trying to figure out how to surrender. I've been reading "Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender" by David Hawkins and am doing my best to apply his teachings. I'm sure I'll figure it out if I keep trying. The same goes for being present: I'll continue to develop that capability. I'm guessing this means that I experienced something completely overwhelming to my ego, and in an overwhelming time sometimes the best thing to do is surrender fighting/feeling the experience and instead to continue living. As the overwhelm fades, I'll be able to better accept and come to terms with reality, but not when my ego is spasming like a dying spider.

Infinity can expand. Imagine that infinity is nothingness. It’s limited by itself - which is, not at all. There is no limit to how far nothing reaches. As soon as you find the furthest limit you realize there is more beyond it. it’s not already at maximum because if there were a maximum there could be further beyond it.

Well if you focus on somewhere other than the image in front of you, ofcourse it's gonna blur. And since in your experience, there is nothingness behing your perception. Your vision just blurs and dissolves and no other image comes up. Unlike let's say imagining a red car while eyes open. atleast this is how i see it. I think what you are doing can be a helpful practice tho, just feels like it. edit: Just realized, what you are doing rn is what I do to focus in on the fact that I am awareness which pervades everything Nietz's abyss quote makes sense now lol. edit 2: I am gonna do this too, to focus in on the void! Thank you!