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About lukej

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  1. It was late 2015. I just started college. I went to the college counseling service for depression and they put me on Prozac and I was seeing a well-meaning but terrible counselor. While I was home for Christmas break I found his video on depression. I remember watching and deciding that no matter what I am going to tackle this issue head-on. From there I lost 100 lbs, quit smoking, cleaned up my diet, practically changed myself completely. I could not even imagine being where I am today without finding that one video. Though he was not the only self-help person I was looking into at that time. I was also watching Thomas Frank who helped me develop my study habits and become a great student. But Leo helped me with the deeper structural issues. I will also say Leo helped me find a new path in spirituality. Though spirituality has been a thing for me since I was young he helped me really make sense of what was going on with me, and pursue it in a less dogmatic way.
  2. It really depends on what kind you are doing and how you are doing it. Are smoking or vaping DMT or something else? Are you plugging it? Are you taking mushrooms? If so how much? (For your first dose I recommend at least an eighth ~2.5g). Are you absolutely sure what you are taking and the exact amount you are taking? Have you read trip reports? Do you know what to expect from the substance? For me, I have always done them alone. The few times I have done them with a person it just takes away from the experience. However, it might not be a bad idea to tell a friend what you are doing. Just have someone you could reach out to if you need to be calmed down.
  3. I have done most of my self-actualization work while at college. The important thing is to start slow and steady. Try to build healthy habits that encourage your work. The important thing is trying to develop emotional mastery. Use each class as a chance to do so. You can sit in class and be as mindful as possible and try to soak in what is going on. You can spend your off time meditating and working out. I would also say developing a visioning habit would be good. Keep a journal and self reflect on your life and the world. You could also try to connect your learning to a bigger picture. Try to take what the teachers give you and understand it deeper and broader. Connect it to history science, spirituality, psychology, biology, and so on. It is really about your attitude. Don't strive for the best grades, strive for the deepest understanding and mastery. Hey if you get a B in a class but you understand the material on a deep level then I say it is worth it. What I also feel is important is starting to learn who you are. Later in life, you can focus on what you are more. But learn about your personality, your triggers, your pain, your passions, what moves you, what fills your heart, and so on. Try to understand yourself as much as possible. While at the same time learn to love yourself as much as possible. This makes doing assignments so much easier. You can be calm and gentle with yourself rather than beating yourself up to do the work. I wish you the best for your journey ahead. May you be blessed.
  4. As someone who was bullied. Called words like "fa*****" and so on. Eventually, you become numb to it. You will see that it is not about you. It is really about the other person. How they see you. How you are not meeting their needs. How you are not reinforcing their worldview. Or how you are actually scaring them. Once you see someone who is so upset at you and you see that they are just afraid you will have compassion for them. No matter what they do or so. "it's okay. Take what you need. Make me bleed. You're just afraid. " I'm not advocating being in an abusive relationship or anything. Take care of yourself. Stand up for yourself. But you don't have to get wrapped up in it.
  5. @Wisebaxter I'm happy that this post helped you. @Dinsdale I think you might just be a troll. But that is fine. Do what you will. Say what you must. You had very little control into becoming who you are. But maybe you will see there is something bigger to be had here. Still, always think for yourself. But turn this analysis onto yourself. I don't think this post will make sense to a lot of people. I think you must be a certain point in the journey. It's about developing a healthy level of detachment. I had to almost lose my life several times to really understand this. At that point, you realize no one can save you emotionally but yourself.
  6. @zeroISinfinity I would be careful to assume where Leo is on his journey. I am very hesitant to call him anything like a messiah. Not because he has not reached high levels of conciouness. But on the basis of feeling "less" than him, and maybe giving your power away to him (which I am sure he would try to give back). I have much respect for him still. Simply because the techniques he has shared with me have worked in my own life. He was not my savior. It was my willingness to try out what he was talking about that was. Still, I am grateful for all the work he has done. He is not the second coming of Christ. He is a reminder that we are all Christ. I feel that this post that I have made was more to clear up ideas around what cosmic love looks like and how to love in the best way. This was not an invitation to not to care. I pray for the world every day. From the moment I wake up until I go to bed I am blessings everyone and everything. But not because I believe we are in Hell and need salvation. But because I want to be a reminder that we are in heaven and everything is going to be okay. I feel tremendous joy and love doing what I do. Which is contrary to the feeling that you might have when you feel that the world needs to be saved. That is also not demanding to feel no empathy or sympathy for other people. Many times I have cried for the pain of others. If I see someone who is suffering deeply as I walk down the street my heart feels with sorrow, I might shed a few tears, and wish them all the joy and love in the world. And that to me is a gift that they provide. Everyone is important and provides a tremendous gift just by their mere existence here.
  7. @electroBeam I did say follow what is in your heart. This is not a call to do nothing. And what Bernie, Martin, and Gandhi are doing is starting a societal cultural change that comes from a place of love. They are not directly trying to wake people up to higher spiritual reality. They did not bring people "salvation" they did/are bringing people into greater harmony and equality. You can think of them as great individual leaders or products of the desires of the collective conciouness for greater equality and harmony. Social equality and social harmony are not exactly the same as sharing and inspiring spiritual wisdom. I did not go to family and try to inspire them to care about equality for all. I came to them trying to tell them that they are modeled out of love and forgiveness, there is no death, and there is nothing to worry about. Which, in a lot of ways is a lot more radical than social and economic harmony and equality. The urge for social equality and harmony does come from higher conciouness. However, it still serves the need of survival for the collective human organism. What I am trying to say here is something subtle. I am not saying do not do anything. I am trying to help release the urgent fear, and the feeling of helplessness when trying to help people. This is why I say there is no "need". I did not say there is no desire. The energy of "needing to save the world" is a lot different than "wanting to help the world". One puts you in a panic, the other allows you to slow down and do things from a place of greater love and joy. From there you can use tactics to rally up people but in your heart, you will be calm and grounded and focused more on the change you want.
  8. @DoubleYou Exactly. The game is rigged. Everyone wins.......eventually. @seeking_brilliance Yes, there is nuanced points with this. There will eventually be mainstream people talking about these things that will bring this to the public. And there will have to kind of a battle to get it out. But it is all part of the fun, all part of the game. It's like a cranky child that is being woken up to go to school. It might take a while. They will fight and resist. But eventually they will get up and begin a whole new day. @RawJudah I would say that people are already saved and they just need help remembering. People can help them wake up a bit but that final few steps into infinity have to be on their call. Or at least initiated by them. You could give them a high powered psychedelic and they could deny or just not understand what just happened and what they became conscious of. I guess more of our role is to help them make sense of what happened and usher them into deeper levels. I have written this post because of my recent "social awakening". Where I kind went from seeing people as helpless to seeing people as more of a collective organism. Though if we want to engage in efforts to awaken humanity it is not because we are helpless, but because the potential is inside us. The salvation is here. The consciousness is here. The love is here. It's more of slowly shifting the collective consciousness into this. This is why it is important to do what is in your heart. You can see that as your divine guidance. It is part of the whole system acting on this to evolve humanity. Done through you by you. No one is in control. Have faith. Buckle up. It's goona be one hell of a ride.
  9. So, I wanted to share this idea with people. Maybe this will be a clarifying point for understanding cosmic divine love. And I know Leo has talked about this before a bit but I feel it is a great point. To think that when you tap into unconditional infinite love that you must save people is a misunderstanding. Once you realize ultimate True love you see that everyone is already is saved, that we are already in heaven. That nothing bad can really happen to anyone and that there is nothing really to worry about. So, there is no need to run out to the streets and try to preach and try to save people’s souls. You will see that they will get there when they are ready. I think what most wise spiritual teachers do is offer an invitation to begin the journey when people come to them. Meaning people will get there when they are ready. Now, what does this mean for society and dealing with people? Well, if you look at things in the short things look dismal. But if you understand reality to be deeply intelligent you will see that society is slowly reorganizing itself and going through the growing pains of evolving consciousness. So, you can view that as being done for you, through you. I can understand the feeling that you must share this spiritual love and try to liberate the people around you. But if you try most of them will reject you or call you crazy. Maybe some will listen but they will misunderstand and just adopt new beliefs about who they should be and see you now as a new parental figure. This really can take their power away. The only one that can liberate them is themselves (this does not mean that you can’t do anything for them, but it is not your responsibility). So, what are the practical things to take away from this? Have faith in the ground you walk on. Trust the evolutionary process. Don’t try to bend it to where it is not ready to go yet. Be gentle and find clever ways to help society forward. See also that people are God and they are powerful beings just like you on their own special particular journey. Study history and see that things just fall apart so new more highly consciousness things can take its place. I know this can be painful. I am writing this because I fell into this trap after some deep awakenings. I saw how much pain my family is in and tried to share some of this. My father called me insane, my mother just got angry at me, and my sister almost took me on as her spiritual guru and felt that she must measure up to this “loving standard” that I set. I also tried working with clients on this and many misunderstood and used it against themselves. So, what I do now is love silently and just honor people where they are at. I see them as God just doing what God wants to do. They are in no need of me and I am in no need of them. What binds us together is desire, and that is allowed to wither when it is ready. I hope I explained this well enough. And you can see that this takes a lot of pressure off of you and helps you ground yourself.
  10. So, I recently saw Leo's new video and I felt like I should share some of my thoughts on this. Only really in an effort to prevent people from hurting themselves. It can be really easy to just listen to spiritual teachers and get lost in that. But once you get down to the real work you will find that it is some of the hardest and most brutal things you will ever do. The dangers of spiritual work is that either you can use it to justify harmful things or go into such darkness and despair you try to take your own life. These are not very light things. On the path, you will experience things that feel like real death and you will have to face the darkest and ugliest parts of yourself. If you are not prepared to face meanginlessness it can destroy your whole life. It can leave you on the floor for days wanting to do nothing but cry and puke (trust me I've been there). If you meditate long enough and play around with consciousness you could tap into giant pockets of pain in the collective psyche and it feels like you just entered into your own private hell. If you practice long enough you might have communications with other beings and that might make you feel like you have lost touch with all of reality. Another thing you could face is feeling all alone. Feeling that everyone knows the truth and is just lying to you. Or that they are actually not there at all. Leaving you feeling totally helpless and stranded in an infinite ocean with nothing to grab onto. You will have experiences that you can not communicate to anyone and it will not make any sense. The growing rift between your reality and your friends and family will grow wider and wider then you will start to worry that you won't be able to talk to them or make sense anymore. Your family might think you have gone insane. With things like kundalini and chakra work, you will feel profound shifts of energy that can be alarming if you are used to it. You might start seeing auras and that can cool but also off-putting. If you use psychedelics these are great tools but can also lead to unexpected things if you are not prepared and if you don't know how to trip properly. A bad trip can really ruin a lot of good work and set you back a few months or years. Psychedelics demand respect and I happily give them that lol. So, what I really want to rely on people that spirituality is not all fun and games or just theory. There are some serious things that can happen (if you care to still be alive and functional). What I have found the most useful is always having my basic needs handled first. As well as grounding myself in spiritual theory (to start off with) so I can make some sense of what I have experienced. And also trying to do things with the most loving approach. You will have to confront some horrific huge things and if your heart is not opened it can scare you away for a long time. I'm not trying to scare you away from spiritual work but I just want you to consider the possible dangers and to re-evaluate what you are doing. Leo had some great points in the video on how to properly do the work and if you should do the work. Now, the benefits of spiritual work are huge and glorious. Imagine just being blown away every day from just how beautiful everything is, and how wonderous mysterious and powerful you really are. Imagine loving and understanding everything so much that you cry tears of joy, and of sympathy for everyone and everything. Imagine being able to forgive everyone and everything and not being afraid to die and in fact, you are excited to pass on because you know it will the start of a whole new adventure. Imagine that there is a whole infinite world for you to explore right here and that everything just seems like pure magic to you. Imagine feeling like there is no failure and that you are free to play like an innocent child forever. This is possible for you and I wish that for you and I hope you can get there without hurting yourself too much.
  11. @UDT Well at least I've tried a few times before I graduated. @LiberatedMonkey I was part of a lean group on campus for a bit. It is the same as like AGILE program development. If that is what you are talking about I like it a bit more. I learned the basics of this while being a CS major. I think I did Inside The Singularity maybe the completely wrong way the first time. Though there is no wrong or right. But in terms of un-necessary un-successful strategy yes.
  12. @flowboy Alirhgt I will have to check out those books thank you! And yeah with my previous business attempts I have spent to much time coming up with concepts and not enough action. With Inside The Singularity I tried to build this huge thing before "going on the market". I was deeply humbled and decided to slow things down. At least I am still in college and can find some art majors and ask them what they are struggling with. But I also think my idea can apply to programmers and other technical jobs that require creativity. I know one of my major pains when making something is this creativity anxiety that sounds like: "I will never get this done" or "I am not good enough to make this" or "this is just shit I need to give this up now". But usually if press on through that fire I can come up with good things and grow more as a person.
  13. @Winter Well, those are very good questions. I did a lot of that for Inside The Singularity. I feel maybe that I need to take this a bit slower and think about it more. I've been getting my life coaching certification for about six months now so I've been really trying to think about what I will be doing with it. I have read a few books by Seth Godin for marketing. I've also checked out Gary V. This would be kinda like my third or fourth attempt at a business. I've started a blog, a youtube channel. and I was trying to make a website to connect people who wanted sound work done to sound designers (but the upfront cost was too much for me right now). So, you know maybe the more I've failed the better i'll be lol.
  14. So, I will be graduating from college by this spring semester. While I am finishing up this year I am getting a “spiritual life coaching certification”. Though I am graduating with only an Associates in Humanities (I changed my degree from Computer Science to Sound Design now to the Associates because of money and staying true to myself -- I did complete a minor in Computer Science). Right now I bought a new website and domain name (it would be the third site I’ve built this year). I am going to be trying to coach artists or as I see it I want to do “creativity coaching”. I want to help people break through creative blocks, make inspired art, and make the creative process not so emotionally devastating. While at the same time I want to be working on my own music. I have kinda started a business before called Inside The Singularity. I built the website and the YouTube channel. But the stuff I was offering got turned down a lot (I did have some clients that I worked for free but they were not very respondent and some just wanted to talk over text lol). So, I had to re-shift my focus entirely. I still have the site/channel but I am going to use it more for vlogging than anything else. I tried Facebook ads and running many social media accounts. I found it very draining to be doing that. I want to take a more relaxed approach to it. So, I am going off into the real world and I am kind of worried. I’ve been trying my hardest to get things off the ground and learn as much as possible. I’ve been following Actualized.Org for about four years. I’ve had many mystical experiences and what not but I just see that this is going to be a weak point. Anytime I try to think of a business idea I feel overwhelmed. Cause I don’t really want to sell anything, anything I want to do MUST help someone in a high consciousness way. But after this year I feel less obligated to “save the world” or “awaken the whole world” (which was something I was thinking about and realized it was just a bit too extreme and not trusting the universe). Now my main drive is just to make something beautiful. When I was in the hospital for cancer treatment this year that’s what I discovered what I really wanted. It was just very simple “make beautiful music and inspire people.'' I currently work as a web programmer at my university and as a freelance video editor. Has anyone dealt with this? What do you think of my coaching idea? Am I too young to be a coach (I just turned 23)? Are there any other places I should go-to for advice? My intuition tells me this will be good but I just want to do it the best way I can. If you are curious and if this even relevant my Myers Briggs personality type is INFP.
  15. Hello everyone, I made a post not too long ago takling about my cancer diagnosis. I've had the cancer removed. So, now I no longer have a thyroid or cancer. I will still have to get some treatment to make sure it is all gone. I just wanted to briefly talk about how this has changed me. Early this year I had some intense awakenings into infinite love and goodness and for a while, I did not know how to integrate them or what they really meant. Now I feel that I have integrated them. I love on a deeper level but more maturely and grounded. Also, any inhibition for artistic expression has been expunged. I am currently working on an album for a music project called "Infinite Headed Hydra" and I've never felt more free in my life. Every day while I was in the hopsitial I felt nothing but gratitude and love. I thanked the cancer every day. This in fact has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am happy the divine did not hold out on me. I am strong enough to know pleasure and pain. It's beyond belief but I feel healed and nurtured by love and goodness always. In my deepest pain, it is there, in my deepest sorrow it is there, in my deepest burning hell it is there. I've come face to face with God and it's nothing but infinite transcendent beauty. Now I'm back in college and I'm ready to finish out this year. Yes, I've realized many great things and no I don't have all of my life figured out. There is still much to be learned but I'm so happy to have found Truth, Love, and Goodness. So, once again thank you so much Leo. But also just thank you to everyone and everything. You are truly all gifts.