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Everything posted by lukej

  1. Generally I don’t like to ask questions online. But right now I do not find myself in a spot where I can not seek sage consoul and honestly this forum is probably the only place I would be willing to ask anything. And with that I also understand it can be hard to speak to my situation and to truly understand what’s going on. But I trust there are probably a lot of people older and wiser than me on this forum that could help me out. And rarely do I confront a situation where I do not find any satisfying answers through my intuition or contemplation. I am seeking some practical advice for my career and life purpose. I am not really in search for any spiritual advice or answers to existential questions. I also do recognize my privilege in this situation. I am just grateful right now just to have a nice warm place to sleep and food. My Situation: I recently turned 24. I have an associate's in humanities and completed a minor in computer science (about $100k in debt but whatever). I am working at the local grocery store and as a part-time remote web developer/designer (while I was at college I worked as a web developer for three years at the school). I am also doing an unpaid internship with the Edgar Cayce Association for Research and Enlightenment as a website coordinator. I am living with my parents. In 2019 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had surgery/radiation done. I had to basically pull myself through the last year of college (I graduated in May 2020(. Since I graduated I’ve felt very weak until I was finally able to see a doctor and get my meds figured out. I am feeling more alive and able to do stuff now. It was right around September last year was I finally able to get my meds figured out. The thing about them is if I stop taking them I have about a week or two before I literally shrivel up and die. So, I guess I got a subscription fee for life now lol. I have found it very difficult to find work since I graduated. Since the pandemic hit a lot of the people I graduated with have had to find local jobs and move back in with their parents. It has been very tough. One thing I am thinking about doing is volunteering for the Americorps. I would move to Detroit for a school year and help students in systematically underprivileged schools. I have worked as a life coach in the past and in high school I started the first gay straight alliance in my whole county so I am not too far removed from that type of work. The thing is though is I would still need to work another job on top of that to pay my bills. My questions: I am not sure if I should move to Detroit or stay home and try to get a full-time job as a web developer? I am having trouble finding work as a web developer. Though I do have a portfolio site that I keep adding stuff to. Is there anything else I should look at to help me land a position? Should I maybe get some more certifications or take more classes through Coursera? Maybe go back to school for a bachelor's? Though there was no web design degrees at my college. But that is what I feel in love with and started doing. I was originally going for computer science but it was too hard-nosed for me. Than I switched sound design cause I also love making music but found out the program was mostly involved with theater stuff. And I really do not like theater or concerts lol. So, I got the only associates I could from the university (I also needed to get out of the area so I could be closer to my cancer doctor). I tried working as a life coach but many of the clients I was picking up online did not go through or they were in need of an actual therapist. Should I wait till I am older? Or take that as a sign that I am not right for the job? I mean I generally enjoyed doing it and helping people through complex problems. I am also thinking about starting to invest money. I have no idea if it is a good idea or a conscious idea. I am not looking for a get rich quick scheme. But I know inflation is a thing. I bought a tiny bit of crypto to see what it was like. But honestly, something about just feels kinda wrong,. Notes and Gratitude I know I am smart, creative and competent. I just don’t know if I have a marketing problem or what. The last few years I tried thinking of starting a business but I literally have not come up with anything that feels worth doing. I kinda just want to work a few different jobs and have time for my projects. I’ve been thinking about making a video game that is like a turn based rpg but there is no combat, Instead, you use different “love spells” and objects to free these beings from fear. I started making the game in Bayblon.Js. But still not sure if it is worth the time or energy. If you need me to expand on anything please let me know. Also, I wanted to say thank you again to Leo for having this forum. It has helped keep me sane through these difficult times. The political sections on here have been very informative and helpful in understanding our current situation. I am a patron of the channel. But I prefer to be a silent supporter. I don't want to give up nor falter under pressure. Really how can I/we make it out of this with our souls and innocence intact? With much love and respect -Luke
  2. @alden lol why you so hostile? Do you not have a sense of humor? I am barely on here anyway. Anyway. I've made my decision. I am going to move to Detroit to volunteer with the City Year organization. Spend a year helping children and working part-time as a web designer. Thank you all for being part of my process. Writing this post did help me think it out a lot. May you all be blessed!
  3. @aurum Thank you for the response. I am not sure if you wanted me to answer those questions but I did take some time to think about them more. You are very right that I do not have a clear vision of where I am going. I have spent most of my teens and twenties trying many things to see what I like the most. What I love doing is working on complex programming projects where I have to connect multiple pieces together. I love working with different languages and making them work together. It is kinda like mixing music. You try to layer everything together and getting working just right and when it finally comes together it is awesome. But ultimately I think before I die if I could get either one album out or a video game that would be worth it. At least one polished refined product. I have made a lot of music but most I would never release lol. That would be my contribution to society. Till I die if I could program for a living and help people when I can. Either as a life coach or a volunteer that would be ideal. And another side note I am a gay man. I am not really looking to have a family/kids or even to get married. And I realize I got like 30+ years left (maybe lol). I am just trying to figure out the wisest way to spend those thirty years. I don't want/need fame or fortune (I can barely stand attention as is). I know really the only thing that matters is the cultivation of my consciousness and my heart. Also, excuse me for this really nerdy analogy. I kinda feel like a character in an RPG who has racked up a bunch of skill points but yet still has not gone on too many missions. He's been at home silently praticing and sharpening his tools. Now he sees that it is time to venture outwards but he does not know where to put all his effort into. And just a quick side note: I had someone from my web job actually refer me to someone at a company who is looking for a full-stack developer position,. I applied today. So, I am sitting on my hands. I've just applied to so many jobs and have dealt with so much span it has been frustrating.
  4. @alden I am not a therapist. Never said I was one. I said I was a life coach. Some of the college students I coached are in more debt than me. My mom is a nurse and she still has student debt should she stop helping people until she "figures herself out?" Life Coaching and Therapy might have some overlap. But yeah I never said that I could deal with an actually mentally ill person,. My student debt is the only debt I have. Otherwise, I am pretty okay with my money. My parents make pretty good money are helping me out with it. But I do not come from a rich background so I had to take out a loan to go to school. Your therapist may still be paying off student debt lol. And I know I am the only thing standing in my way. That's why I am here. You know very little about me but seem to make big claims about what is going on with me. I didn't want to turn this into a psych evaluation.
  5. @timeasarina Thank you for the response and the words of encouragement. In terms of my health, I am rather healthy despite the whole cancer thing. My doctor told me it was most like something to do with my genes. But I am not a doctor so I really don't know. @alden Thank you for the response. I do sincerely appreciate it. And you are right that I did flinch a bit. I feel that you just assumed my mental state. Just because I went through hell doesn't mean I am not happy. Or the fact that I am dealing with this challenging situation doesn't me I am literally sweating bullets over this lol. I love challenges and that is why I am here. I have taken Leo's Life Purpose Course and I am trying to act on my values. I took the course about three years ago. It is what drove me to switch degrees and follow my passion for web design and helping people. And I guess that is where I am at. /Do I do the web design to pay the bills and forget about helping others or just go into helping others? Who knows. I guess time will tell. I think I could help people still and that's why I would want to move to Detroit. I am not as fearful as you assume me to be. But I am aware of my ignorance and limitations but that doesn't make me afraid of them necessary. But I am not trying to defend myself I am aware of how hard it can be to communicate everything through just text. I guess I am not really looking for a solid answer to what I should do but rather maybe some resources or questions I should ask myself. Like I said I generally don't like posting this kind of question but I really just wanted to get this out of my head.
  6. Congrats man! I've been happily subscribed for five years. It has been awesome to grow along. It helped me find the courage to find the truth and love within. And for that, I am forever grateful. I feel that I understand spirituality very well on my own. But what I love about the new content is the integration and synthesizes of many areas of life. There is still much I don't know and learning is always a joy. This channel is a beautiful work of art. I wish you the best now and forever!
  7. Honestly, all I would like to know is what is the wildest thing you have experienced while tripping?
  8. Hello everyone. I just graduated from college, started my spiritual/life coaching business (built and designed the website myself), and I am halfway done with an album. I wanted to share with you how my life has changed after the really intense awakening experience I had last year. I was meditating (not on any drugs) and I became conscious of my fear of being God/Divinty (or being infinite). I was able to move past that fear and after I did that a brilliant white light overtook me and I found myself again a while later. I could not speak for an hour or so. My mouth just hanged open. Also, little interesting face, I actually orgasmed too which was freaky. I felt like the divine had come down and "screwed me out of existence". Kind of me reminds me of a peak of a mushroom trip. You feel it coming slow and hard and then it kills you and you drown in beauty. My body felt so free and loose. After that meditation become so powerful. Every time I would site down I would die lol. I had to stop for a little bit actually. Now I am back to it and it is fine. For a few months after that, I was in such a blissful state. I could see everyone's aura all the time. I had a smile on my face all the time. Until I went through cancer surgery and then a week after that had to finish my last year of school, as well go through radiation. But through all of that, I felt so much love and compassion. I cry every day or every other day tears of thankfulness and I drown in the beauty. It is really so hard to describe. I know on such a deep level all I want is to be in union with God or the divine. I want to share this with you. Who I have become has surprised me so much. I think you will too once you explore the power of love. I thought after a while the feeling would go away. But there is still that warm glow with me all the time. Now, this didn't just happen to me. I knew about something called Godhead since I was 13 and I have in many ways dedicated my life to finding that. And it was better than I could have ever imagined it be. So, please don't give up. Please keep going forward on your path. It is so worth it. The divine loves you more than you could ever imagine. You may not even be able to handle how the divine loves you. This is all I have to say. I will be going my own way now. My inner guidance so loud now I can't ignore it. I found what I was looking for and now I spend every day making the connection stronger and find a way to help others reclaim their space in the eternal kingdom of love in all of our heats. Also, just for fun, I attached an image that has pics of me from my senior year of high school to senior year of college. I found Actualized.Org late in 2015. I lost 100 lbs, quit smoking (only smoked for a year, my parents did too, so..), got laid (a lot lol), and had a good time otherwise. I am just here to share my love and gratitude. I don't get anything more special or profound to say. Other than you are worth all of the pain and suffering to bring this about in your life. The reality of love is so good that it will make you weep. It will complete your life and you can die happy. Thank you!
  9. @Recursoinominado Well, first I would say that there is no game to "win". The divine will never think of you as a failure, and you have all of the time and space to eventually come to the realization of it. It can feel like life is a game. But it is more like a beautiful dance and or song. You can also think of it as an organic system growing and exploring all paths for the supreme joy of it. I can't take full credit nor retrace my steps to where I am. It is a very individual process. Before I was diagnosed with cancer I was still fairly aware and had many mystical experiences. But none that never lasted and went as deep. It was as if life gave me two options. Open to the love of God, or spin-off into darkness and madness. So, I chose to take full responsibility for my life and that began once I stopped being the "amature life coach" in my head. I placed my hand my heart every day and for an hour two I would tell myself "I love you" "I am here for you, I will always be here for you". I went from subtly hating myself to falling in love with myself. As a gay man, I found that to be so relieving as well. I didn't realize I was running away from so much until that happened. Otherwise, I recommend you find teachers and or books that talk about love in this manner. If it comes from love than it has the very high potential of being beneficial. Nowadays I don't read books on spirituality or listen to teachers. I sometimes listen to Acutalized.Org when Leo has a new video. It's an old habit, a familiar voice, but really nothing I not heard before. Matt Kahn is one of my favorites too. In terms of my meditation routine. Well, I have found if you make it an absolute mandatory thing it loses the joy of it. I don't have a set time. I meditate when I feel like it. Either a few shorts 20 - 30 sessions throughout the day. Or a longer hour-long session. But I also spend time blessing the world and finding things to be grateful for. I am proactive in keeping the love strong in me. The divine within you knows what you need to do. Trust yourself more. The more soft and gentle you become the easier your ego will surrender into the love. When I look onto the world I don't see evil and nonsensical chaos. I see innocent gods who have forgotten their home (and probably for their own purposes) coming together looking for the love that they are and finding ways to express that and share it. Could you begin to see yourself in such a pure way?
  10. It was late 2015. I just started college. I went to the college counseling service for depression and they put me on Prozac and I was seeing a well-meaning but terrible counselor. While I was home for Christmas break I found his video on depression. I remember watching and deciding that no matter what I am going to tackle this issue head-on. From there I lost 100 lbs, quit smoking, cleaned up my diet, practically changed myself completely. I could not even imagine being where I am today without finding that one video. Though he was not the only self-help person I was looking into at that time. I was also watching Thomas Frank who helped me develop my study habits and become a great student. But Leo helped me with the deeper structural issues. I will also say Leo helped me find a new path in spirituality. Though spirituality has been a thing for me since I was young he helped me really make sense of what was going on with me, and pursue it in a less dogmatic way.
  11. It really depends on what kind you are doing and how you are doing it. Are smoking or vaping DMT or something else? Are you plugging it? Are you taking mushrooms? If so how much? (For your first dose I recommend at least an eighth ~2.5g). Are you absolutely sure what you are taking and the exact amount you are taking? Have you read trip reports? Do you know what to expect from the substance? For me, I have always done them alone. The few times I have done them with a person it just takes away from the experience. However, it might not be a bad idea to tell a friend what you are doing. Just have someone you could reach out to if you need to be calmed down.
  12. I have done most of my self-actualization work while at college. The important thing is to start slow and steady. Try to build healthy habits that encourage your work. The important thing is trying to develop emotional mastery. Use each class as a chance to do so. You can sit in class and be as mindful as possible and try to soak in what is going on. You can spend your off time meditating and working out. I would also say developing a visioning habit would be good. Keep a journal and self reflect on your life and the world. You could also try to connect your learning to a bigger picture. Try to take what the teachers give you and understand it deeper and broader. Connect it to history science, spirituality, psychology, biology, and so on. It is really about your attitude. Don't strive for the best grades, strive for the deepest understanding and mastery. Hey if you get a B in a class but you understand the material on a deep level then I say it is worth it. What I also feel is important is starting to learn who you are. Later in life, you can focus on what you are more. But learn about your personality, your triggers, your pain, your passions, what moves you, what fills your heart, and so on. Try to understand yourself as much as possible. While at the same time learn to love yourself as much as possible. This makes doing assignments so much easier. You can be calm and gentle with yourself rather than beating yourself up to do the work. I wish you the best for your journey ahead. May you be blessed.
  13. As someone who was bullied. Called words like "fa*****" and so on. Eventually, you become numb to it. You will see that it is not about you. It is really about the other person. How they see you. How you are not meeting their needs. How you are not reinforcing their worldview. Or how you are actually scaring them. Once you see someone who is so upset at you and you see that they are just afraid you will have compassion for them. No matter what they do or so. "it's okay. Take what you need. Make me bleed. You're just afraid. " I'm not advocating being in an abusive relationship or anything. Take care of yourself. Stand up for yourself. But you don't have to get wrapped up in it.
  14. So, I wanted to share this idea with people. Maybe this will be a clarifying point for understanding cosmic divine love. And I know Leo has talked about this before a bit but I feel it is a great point. To think that when you tap into unconditional infinite love that you must save people is a misunderstanding. Once you realize ultimate True love you see that everyone is already is saved, that we are already in heaven. That nothing bad can really happen to anyone and that there is nothing really to worry about. So, there is no need to run out to the streets and try to preach and try to save people’s souls. You will see that they will get there when they are ready. I think what most wise spiritual teachers do is offer an invitation to begin the journey when people come to them. Meaning people will get there when they are ready. Now, what does this mean for society and dealing with people? Well, if you look at things in the short things look dismal. But if you understand reality to be deeply intelligent you will see that society is slowly reorganizing itself and going through the growing pains of evolving consciousness. So, you can view that as being done for you, through you. I can understand the feeling that you must share this spiritual love and try to liberate the people around you. But if you try most of them will reject you or call you crazy. Maybe some will listen but they will misunderstand and just adopt new beliefs about who they should be and see you now as a new parental figure. This really can take their power away. The only one that can liberate them is themselves (this does not mean that you can’t do anything for them, but it is not your responsibility). So, what are the practical things to take away from this? Have faith in the ground you walk on. Trust the evolutionary process. Don’t try to bend it to where it is not ready to go yet. Be gentle and find clever ways to help society forward. See also that people are God and they are powerful beings just like you on their own special particular journey. Study history and see that things just fall apart so new more highly consciousness things can take its place. I know this can be painful. I am writing this because I fell into this trap after some deep awakenings. I saw how much pain my family is in and tried to share some of this. My father called me insane, my mother just got angry at me, and my sister almost took me on as her spiritual guru and felt that she must measure up to this “loving standard” that I set. I also tried working with clients on this and many misunderstood and used it against themselves. So, what I do now is love silently and just honor people where they are at. I see them as God just doing what God wants to do. They are in no need of me and I am in no need of them. What binds us together is desire, and that is allowed to wither when it is ready. I hope I explained this well enough. And you can see that this takes a lot of pressure off of you and helps you ground yourself.
  15. @Wisebaxter I'm happy that this post helped you. @Dinsdale I think you might just be a troll. But that is fine. Do what you will. Say what you must. You had very little control into becoming who you are. But maybe you will see there is something bigger to be had here. Still, always think for yourself. But turn this analysis onto yourself. I don't think this post will make sense to a lot of people. I think you must be a certain point in the journey. It's about developing a healthy level of detachment. I had to almost lose my life several times to really understand this. At that point, you realize no one can save you emotionally but yourself.
  16. @zeroISinfinity I would be careful to assume where Leo is on his journey. I am very hesitant to call him anything like a messiah. Not because he has not reached high levels of conciouness. But on the basis of feeling "less" than him, and maybe giving your power away to him (which I am sure he would try to give back). I have much respect for him still. Simply because the techniques he has shared with me have worked in my own life. He was not my savior. It was my willingness to try out what he was talking about that was. Still, I am grateful for all the work he has done. He is not the second coming of Christ. He is a reminder that we are all Christ. I feel that this post that I have made was more to clear up ideas around what cosmic love looks like and how to love in the best way. This was not an invitation to not to care. I pray for the world every day. From the moment I wake up until I go to bed I am blessings everyone and everything. But not because I believe we are in Hell and need salvation. But because I want to be a reminder that we are in heaven and everything is going to be okay. I feel tremendous joy and love doing what I do. Which is contrary to the feeling that you might have when you feel that the world needs to be saved. That is also not demanding to feel no empathy or sympathy for other people. Many times I have cried for the pain of others. If I see someone who is suffering deeply as I walk down the street my heart feels with sorrow, I might shed a few tears, and wish them all the joy and love in the world. And that to me is a gift that they provide. Everyone is important and provides a tremendous gift just by their mere existence here.
  17. @electroBeam I did say follow what is in your heart. This is not a call to do nothing. And what Bernie, Martin, and Gandhi are doing is starting a societal cultural change that comes from a place of love. They are not directly trying to wake people up to higher spiritual reality. They did not bring people "salvation" they did/are bringing people into greater harmony and equality. You can think of them as great individual leaders or products of the desires of the collective conciouness for greater equality and harmony. Social equality and social harmony are not exactly the same as sharing and inspiring spiritual wisdom. I did not go to family and try to inspire them to care about equality for all. I came to them trying to tell them that they are modeled out of love and forgiveness, there is no death, and there is nothing to worry about. Which, in a lot of ways is a lot more radical than social and economic harmony and equality. The urge for social equality and harmony does come from higher conciouness. However, it still serves the need of survival for the collective human organism. What I am trying to say here is something subtle. I am not saying do not do anything. I am trying to help release the urgent fear, and the feeling of helplessness when trying to help people. This is why I say there is no "need". I did not say there is no desire. The energy of "needing to save the world" is a lot different than "wanting to help the world". One puts you in a panic, the other allows you to slow down and do things from a place of greater love and joy. From there you can use tactics to rally up people but in your heart, you will be calm and grounded and focused more on the change you want.
  18. @DoubleYou Exactly. The game is rigged. Everyone wins.......eventually. @seeking_brilliance Yes, there is nuanced points with this. There will eventually be mainstream people talking about these things that will bring this to the public. And there will have to kind of a battle to get it out. But it is all part of the fun, all part of the game. It's like a cranky child that is being woken up to go to school. It might take a while. They will fight and resist. But eventually they will get up and begin a whole new day. @RawJudah I would say that people are already saved and they just need help remembering. People can help them wake up a bit but that final few steps into infinity have to be on their call. Or at least initiated by them. You could give them a high powered psychedelic and they could deny or just not understand what just happened and what they became conscious of. I guess more of our role is to help them make sense of what happened and usher them into deeper levels. I have written this post because of my recent "social awakening". Where I kind went from seeing people as helpless to seeing people as more of a collective organism. Though if we want to engage in efforts to awaken humanity it is not because we are helpless, but because the potential is inside us. The salvation is here. The consciousness is here. The love is here. It's more of slowly shifting the collective consciousness into this. This is why it is important to do what is in your heart. You can see that as your divine guidance. It is part of the whole system acting on this to evolve humanity. Done through you by you. No one is in control. Have faith. Buckle up. It's goona be one hell of a ride.
  19. So, I recently saw Leo's new video and I felt like I should share some of my thoughts on this. Only really in an effort to prevent people from hurting themselves. It can be really easy to just listen to spiritual teachers and get lost in that. But once you get down to the real work you will find that it is some of the hardest and most brutal things you will ever do. The dangers of spiritual work is that either you can use it to justify harmful things or go into such darkness and despair you try to take your own life. These are not very light things. On the path, you will experience things that feel like real death and you will have to face the darkest and ugliest parts of yourself. If you are not prepared to face meanginlessness it can destroy your whole life. It can leave you on the floor for days wanting to do nothing but cry and puke (trust me I've been there). If you meditate long enough and play around with consciousness you could tap into giant pockets of pain in the collective psyche and it feels like you just entered into your own private hell. If you practice long enough you might have communications with other beings and that might make you feel like you have lost touch with all of reality. Another thing you could face is feeling all alone. Feeling that everyone knows the truth and is just lying to you. Or that they are actually not there at all. Leaving you feeling totally helpless and stranded in an infinite ocean with nothing to grab onto. You will have experiences that you can not communicate to anyone and it will not make any sense. The growing rift between your reality and your friends and family will grow wider and wider then you will start to worry that you won't be able to talk to them or make sense anymore. Your family might think you have gone insane. With things like kundalini and chakra work, you will feel profound shifts of energy that can be alarming if you are used to it. You might start seeing auras and that can cool but also off-putting. If you use psychedelics these are great tools but can also lead to unexpected things if you are not prepared and if you don't know how to trip properly. A bad trip can really ruin a lot of good work and set you back a few months or years. Psychedelics demand respect and I happily give them that lol. So, what I really want to rely on people that spirituality is not all fun and games or just theory. There are some serious things that can happen (if you care to still be alive and functional). What I have found the most useful is always having my basic needs handled first. As well as grounding myself in spiritual theory (to start off with) so I can make some sense of what I have experienced. And also trying to do things with the most loving approach. You will have to confront some horrific huge things and if your heart is not opened it can scare you away for a long time. I'm not trying to scare you away from spiritual work but I just want you to consider the possible dangers and to re-evaluate what you are doing. Leo had some great points in the video on how to properly do the work and if you should do the work. Now, the benefits of spiritual work are huge and glorious. Imagine just being blown away every day from just how beautiful everything is, and how wonderous mysterious and powerful you really are. Imagine loving and understanding everything so much that you cry tears of joy, and of sympathy for everyone and everything. Imagine being able to forgive everyone and everything and not being afraid to die and in fact, you are excited to pass on because you know it will the start of a whole new adventure. Imagine that there is a whole infinite world for you to explore right here and that everything just seems like pure magic to you. Imagine feeling like there is no failure and that you are free to play like an innocent child forever. This is possible for you and I wish that for you and I hope you can get there without hurting yourself too much.
  20. @UDT Well at least I've tried a few times before I graduated. @LiberatedMonkey I was part of a lean group on campus for a bit. It is the same as like AGILE program development. If that is what you are talking about I like it a bit more. I learned the basics of this while being a CS major. I think I did Inside The Singularity maybe the completely wrong way the first time. Though there is no wrong or right. But in terms of un-necessary un-successful strategy yes.
  21. So, I will be graduating from college by this spring semester. While I am finishing up this year I am getting a “spiritual life coaching certification”. Though I am graduating with only an Associates in Humanities (I changed my degree from Computer Science to Sound Design now to the Associates because of money and staying true to myself -- I did complete a minor in Computer Science). Right now I bought a new website and domain name (it would be the third site I’ve built this year). I am going to be trying to coach artists or as I see it I want to do “creativity coaching”. I want to help people break through creative blocks, make inspired art, and make the creative process not so emotionally devastating. While at the same time I want to be working on my own music. I have kinda started a business before called Inside The Singularity. I built the website and the YouTube channel. But the stuff I was offering got turned down a lot (I did have some clients that I worked for free but they were not very respondent and some just wanted to talk over text lol). So, I had to re-shift my focus entirely. I still have the site/channel but I am going to use it more for vlogging than anything else. I tried Facebook ads and running many social media accounts. I found it very draining to be doing that. I want to take a more relaxed approach to it. So, I am going off into the real world and I am kind of worried. I’ve been trying my hardest to get things off the ground and learn as much as possible. I’ve been following Actualized.Org for about four years. I’ve had many mystical experiences and what not but I just see that this is going to be a weak point. Anytime I try to think of a business idea I feel overwhelmed. Cause I don’t really want to sell anything, anything I want to do MUST help someone in a high consciousness way. But after this year I feel less obligated to “save the world” or “awaken the whole world” (which was something I was thinking about and realized it was just a bit too extreme and not trusting the universe). Now my main drive is just to make something beautiful. When I was in the hospital for cancer treatment this year that’s what I discovered what I really wanted. It was just very simple “make beautiful music and inspire people.'' I currently work as a web programmer at my university and as a freelance video editor. Has anyone dealt with this? What do you think of my coaching idea? Am I too young to be a coach (I just turned 23)? Are there any other places I should go-to for advice? My intuition tells me this will be good but I just want to do it the best way I can. If you are curious and if this even relevant my Myers Briggs personality type is INFP.
  22. @flowboy Alirhgt I will have to check out those books thank you! And yeah with my previous business attempts I have spent to much time coming up with concepts and not enough action. With Inside The Singularity I tried to build this huge thing before "going on the market". I was deeply humbled and decided to slow things down. At least I am still in college and can find some art majors and ask them what they are struggling with. But I also think my idea can apply to programmers and other technical jobs that require creativity. I know one of my major pains when making something is this creativity anxiety that sounds like: "I will never get this done" or "I am not good enough to make this" or "this is just shit I need to give this up now". But usually if press on through that fire I can come up with good things and grow more as a person.
  23. @Winter Well, those are very good questions. I did a lot of that for Inside The Singularity. I feel maybe that I need to take this a bit slower and think about it more. I've been getting my life coaching certification for about six months now so I've been really trying to think about what I will be doing with it. I have read a few books by Seth Godin for marketing. I've also checked out Gary V. This would be kinda like my third or fourth attempt at a business. I've started a blog, a youtube channel. and I was trying to make a website to connect people who wanted sound work done to sound designers (but the upfront cost was too much for me right now). So, you know maybe the more I've failed the better i'll be lol.
  24. Hello everyone, I made a post not too long ago takling about my cancer diagnosis. I've had the cancer removed. So, now I no longer have a thyroid or cancer. I will still have to get some treatment to make sure it is all gone. I just wanted to briefly talk about how this has changed me. Early this year I had some intense awakenings into infinite love and goodness and for a while, I did not know how to integrate them or what they really meant. Now I feel that I have integrated them. I love on a deeper level but more maturely and grounded. Also, any inhibition for artistic expression has been expunged. I am currently working on an album for a music project called "Infinite Headed Hydra" and I've never felt more free in my life. Every day while I was in the hopsitial I felt nothing but gratitude and love. I thanked the cancer every day. This in fact has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am happy the divine did not hold out on me. I am strong enough to know pleasure and pain. It's beyond belief but I feel healed and nurtured by love and goodness always. In my deepest pain, it is there, in my deepest sorrow it is there, in my deepest burning hell it is there. I've come face to face with God and it's nothing but infinite transcendent beauty. Now I'm back in college and I'm ready to finish out this year. Yes, I've realized many great things and no I don't have all of my life figured out. There is still much to be learned but I'm so happy to have found Truth, Love, and Goodness. So, once again thank you so much Leo. But also just thank you to everyone and everything. You are truly all gifts.
  25. Hello everyone, I just wanted to share this with everyone. I'm a 22-year old I'm about to turn 23 next month. I just got diagnosed with thyroid cancer. They are not sure how bad it is yet but I will have to surgery and take medication for the rest of my life. I've been following Actualized.Org since I turned 19 and it has really helped me transform my life and heal. I was bullied at school for being gay and overweight. When I turned 18 I tried to commit suicide. When I got to college Leo helped me find the drive to live and keep going. Now, I'm working hard to express my passions of spirituality and music. Although this has been stressful I feel oddly at peace and have more faith in the universe than I ever have had. I feel as though this has been the best gift I have ever been given. I feel more alive and loving than I have ever felt. Everything I thought I knew has been destroyed this year and now all I have is love. So, again I just want to give thanks to Actualized.Org and everyone else who has helped me along this path. I'm still young and have to learn about the world but I am eternally grateful for everything. I started my own youtube channel talking about spirituality which you can find here: You can also check out some of my music here: