MsNobody

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Posts posted by MsNobody


  1. So I finally found a great community of amazing people who do ayahuasca ceremony, I love reading my trips after a while so I intend to post my experiences here, the sessions take place twice per month, so I'm guessing this is going to be a long and beautiful journey for my future elf to read.

    I've had several psychedelics experiences before this first one, being 3 of them with ayahuasca itself, but this group is really really structured, solid and fucking amazing.

    Seeing back all my experiences this one was by far the most profound and meaningful, I feel like I was exploring another random realities like a blind zombie walking around looking for brains, my search for truth started 3 years ago, and since then I've had tried LSD and its "cousins", mushrooms, nn-DMT, 5Meo DMT, ketamine, etc, but haven't gotten close to anything, I mean I don't see everything as a waste of time but I need to admit that I was walking in the dark, all my previous psychedelics taught me a lot but I was not always receiving the light, I was kind of lost and I totally see the danger of exploring psychedelics without clear intention and focus, all this to say that in this ayahuasca ceremony I was literally guided to the light. And I love how every psychedelic substance helped me but I found my thing now, and I'm beyond happy to have found this amazing little plant. 

    I take the tea, 5 minutes in I'm already in outer space seeing all the cells of my body disintegrating and every time I try to zoom in I realize they are infinite, I see all the colors that exist in the world, rainbows, shapes all infinite, I see all the parts of my body, my cells, my atoms being rearranged, rewired and put into its right place, my whole body is vibrating in a high energy and it's so difficult to maintain my shit together, so I realize why reaching and MAINTAINING that frequency is difficult, a lifetime of meditation to prepare the body/mind to receive all of that, much respect for the work.

    The more I resist the more I suffer, whenever my monkey mind wanders, I feel like throwing up, so I surrender to the plant, and I'm reminded of one of the most basic teachings, the more you surrender to life the better life will treat you, the more faith you have in the universe, the better the universe is gonna treat you, but the ego is a bitch and wants to control, so my work from here on is mostly to relax and take my ego out of the way so the plant can do its job, and man when I finally relaxed, omg my body started being covered by a sensation that I can only describe as HOME, like a million hands were over me, hugging me and giving me love, and I later recorded the same sensation described in the book DNA cosmic serpent from Jeremy Narby, where he says "when the plant takes over, she embraces your whole body, like a snake tangling around you, covering every little piece of your skin" and I felt so protected, all the lack of love I had not received in my life and specially childhood were being given to me right at that moment, like a blanket with love, unconditional love, I've never felt so safe and protected in my whole life. 

    At that moment I knew I could surrender because I was being taken care of, it was divine love, and suddenly the image of Jesus came to my mind, a vision of Jesus in his little crib with all the masters around him, giving him unconditional love, and I saw so much light coming out of him, a gold light, it was so fucking beautiful, no words to describe but before I get all religious let me clarify that I'm not a religious at all, I'm actually kind of against it because I was raised in the catholic church and had so much guilty, shame and fear growing up, so I would say my view on Jesus was terrible and I would even say I'm somewhat traumatized, but yes I saw baby Jesus and gosh, so much love coming out of that little creature. 

    And after that I had another vision of a little naked baby, learning how to walk and it didn't matter if the baby would fall or no, cause all around him there was the energy that was covering my body, and I thought for a moment that the baby was me, and baby me didn't receive the divine love and neither felt safe, and there was I experiencing all of that light and love, it was one of the cutest things in the universe, it reminded me of a vision I had once on al-LAD, I asked the substance to show me god and it showed me, an imagine of an old man in a cabin in the woods, holding those old pens with tint, he dipped the tip of the metal pen in the black tint and was bout to touch the paper, then the image froze, and I got the message, that exact moment was the clear representation of god, which I read as an empty canvas, where everything is possible, any idea can surge, any word, any person, any story, oh gosh, it's actually this reality we are experiencing here right now, thats why we are all so different, shapes, colors, textures, smells, sounds, that moment before putting the pen on the paper was the precise definition of god, an emptiness where everything is possible.

    So this was the initiation and the most beautiful part of my session (we call it session not trip) I had several visions of old people, like old grandmas, like the Oracle from Matrix, they were all working on me, it was a mother energy straight out of nature, taking care of me. 

    One thing I noticed that differentiates ayahuasca from other psychedelics (if I were to compare it with LSD for example) how both work with body and mind but LSD is amazing for the mind, I see my habits that I want to change, I THINK a lot while on it, have ideas etc but ayahuasca was working mainly in my body, it was rewiring everything every little inch of my body, all my cells, all my muscles, the buzzing was crazy, oh talking about buzzing, my goodness, from 4 hours of the session, 1 hour was only for the bees, I knew bees were important but man, the bees are the thing, but also ayahuasca is very junglish, I saw so many animals but the bees were working hard in my visions and they were EVERYWHERE and I was it, very fascinating!! So yes, ayahuasca really heals the body, that was one predominant difference I had not seen in other psychedelics, the power of healing. 

    I think that's it for today, just wanted to write down so I don't forget anything, and as I write it reminds me of things I forgot, amazing. Can't wait for my next session of mama medicine. 

    I will keep working with my LSD microdosing too, it's great for my awareness in the daily life, and since aya does not build tolerance I think I will be fine, oh talking about tolerance there was a pregnant woman taking aya too, and an old lady, even kids take it, sooo cute, what took me so long?

     

     

     

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  2. @mandyjw thank you for your words. 

    @Leo Gura I love you to death, but whenever I post something on the forum you either don't respond or (like in my last two posts) recommends rewatching  your videos. 

    But when men post about getting girls they always get your full attention, and I respect that, I know you started your path as a PUA and you learned / gained a lot from it but I feel like your advices are favoring men mostly, and I dont feel like you are doing that to help them deepen their relationships, seems like you focus on them burning out the sex part so they can be free to dive in the spiritual work, and the intention sucks. 

    Maybe I’m mistaken, it’s all just my opinion and you can keep ignoring like you did with the others posts. 

    Sometimes I see posts of you defending women and talking about them with such respect and warmth, your video about Love  so beautiful, but IMO this has been only words you tell yourself cause if you were really embodying what you say you wouldn’t teach men to treat women as objects, “10 per day” we are not numbers, no men and no women, we as human beings are better than animals because we have a heart who allows us to feel deeply for others around us, empathy, compassion, kindness are things we are aiming for. 

    Just needed to say that, hope you are able to acknowledge your shadow. 

    And thank you for the work you do on yourself, love you ❤️ 
     


  3. Yes I've noticed that. I'm from Brazil and also a coach, my best friend who is a therapist is super judgmental towards life coaching, to the point of sharing funny memes making fun of coaches on social media. I asked her why she holds that position and she said "coaches don't even know what hey are doing, they have not studied like psychologists, they should not be able to help anyone" I feel like if she is attacking someone who is trying to help the world, it might be because her identity is being threatened, and seeing through her eyes: she studied 5 years to be a therapist and seeing a coach helping people makes her feel like her time was wasted, PLUS people don't want to change, if you think about the way brazilians see therapists is the same or worse POV, my whole family is fucked up and they always judged me for going to therapists, they are in a deep state of delusion, whatever is here to help them they will negate at first, Brazil is a traditional and conservative country, they like to maintain things the same, value family, religion etc, also the ego likes to stay the same, stability conformity, everything that is new and unknown is scary. 

    Brazil is predominantly Blue, with some orange in Sao Paulo and some more developed cities, and greenish in south of Brazil, so they are very close minded overall. Like Aldous Huxley said  “If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” whatever threatens their ignorance will be attacked, with coach won't be different, be sure of yourself and know you are in this mostly alone, find your tribe just so you are not put down by the ignorance of the majority. 

    Good luck :)


  4. AMAAAAZING MOVIE/DOCUMENTARY

    Just came back from the screening and there was a panel in the end of the movie with the director Louie Schwartzberg who spent 13 years doing time lapses of mushrooms growing. The movie has the participation of Paul Stamets, Michael Polan, Dennis McKenna, Andrew Weil, etc

    Soooo good!! I'm fascinated with the content and presentation, I brought a friend with me and he is mindfucked, willing to let go of his antidepressants meds to jump into the psychedelic world.

    MUST WATCH


  5. I’ve been thinking about my transition to orange to green, and also the yellow part in me. I’ve noticed that orange has a more masculine approach of production, action, capitalism itself. While green is a more feminine approach of nurturing and loving. And as for yellow I noticed the left brain way of thinking, again more rational and logical, masculine approach.

    I see myself embodying green Stage now, but I’m a little confused. I was an extrovert people pleaser in the past and now I like to spend time by myself which makes me an introvert, but since stage green is all about community I wonder if I’m deluding myself and am going backwards to stage orange. I’m a pretty loving person but I’m in a point where I’m focusing in my own growth, and I don’t get much energy from being around people, I do have my friends and I love them, I really appreciate one on one conversations but I’m not part of a community and don’t feel like joining one, cause I feel like even the green ones have some shade of blue in it, do I really need to go through that to embody green? I’m also much more logical and focused now, so my concern here is either I’m going back to orange or going towards yellow, the ego is a little bitch sometimes so I like to be aware of my bs 😌 

    I would appreciate any comments 

    And also would love to discuss about the feminine and masculine polarity applied on spiral dynamics

    Oh and I noticed most of the people on the yellow stage thread are predominantly men, very interesting, I’m not trying to bring any feminist discussion here, just trying to see different perspectives. 

    Thank you! 


  6. @Fede83 there is a really good documentary called The female Brain on Hulu. Also books The way of the superior man, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, The 5 love languages.. Leo’s book list has some good ones :) 

    But essentially to be able to connect with women is very important that you embrace your feminine side too. For me one of the best traits of a man is his feminine side, is he able to allow himself to be emotional, to be vulnerable, to have feelings? Men who are trying to prove their masculinity just shows me that they are insecure, so would say it’s a balance of both masculine and feminine, but a real man allows himself to be whole. 


  7. @electroBeam IMO your evidence is wrong, or  you might be looking in the wrong place, it’s like looking for a better job but complaining that the better ones are already taken, if you are qualified you can get any job you want, if you are not you will struggle for sure. I’m attractive and I’m single, and I have hot friends who are also single. Have in mind that what you are looking is looking for you, IF you are ready to receive.

    You can also read some books about how a woman’s mind works, we are not interested in looks, we are attracted to men who are stable, hitting women who are dating or married can be seen as an incapacity for commitment (why would you date someone taken and not a single one? Maybe because the taken it’s just fun and games and no responsibilities, that’s how I see it), plus it’s gonna bring bad karma and problems to your life. That being said, what are your intentions? Do you want a girlfriend or you just want to play around? Do you want a stage orange relationship or a green one? 

    Loving all the conscious answers 💛💛


  8. @remember I agree with some of what you said, and I’d put it in another way: 

    I watched a documentary those days that talks about that, sometimes we think we are in love or feeling the “passion” but it’s just our body telling us to get out of that situation, when we see the person we received a rush of adrenaline which is mistaken by love and “butterflies in the stomach”.

    my deepest relationships and the more abusive ones were coincidentally the ones where there was more sexual attraction. 

    This video from Matt Kahn talks about the differences of soul mate and twin flame, soul mates are calm and bring us thr feeling of safety, they do not cause the chemicals of our body to go crazy. 

     


  9. @bmcnicho you will have to confront your own selfishness or you would have to let go of your self respect? 

    My story is very similar to hers but I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself, I also had boyfriends in need of help. The problem with those people is that they lack self love, so it doesn’t matter how much love you give her, she will always need more cause she doesn’t have her own source of love within her (self love). You will end up getting hurt and in a way “feeding” her dependence, which is far from helping her and actually making things even more difficult. She is not your responsibility, don’t forget god created us all with perfection, everything she is going through is preparing her to be her best self.

    So the only thing you can do is work on yourself. If you accept staying in this relationship you will end up creating more traumas for yourself, and like you said you also have your stuff to deal with. 

    Good luck 💛