ValiantSalvatore

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Posts posted by ValiantSalvatore

  1. Posted

    @CreamCat What's your take on different sleep styles like polyphasic or bi-phasic sleep?

    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319425.php
    https://www.supermemo.com/en/archives1990-2015/articles/polyphasic

    I tried it for a month or longer two months or so this year, but relatively unsuccessful.

    Is it healthy?

    I tried advice from a book saying that you want to find your magic number which is around 7h and 10 min for me of sleep. 

    Is it feasible in the long term to do smth. Like this ? I listened to someone yesterday explaining that he transcended his body. He had a lot of energy or "flow" and therefore did not need a lot of sleep. This is also what I heard about bodhisattvas.

     

  5. Posted

    @Leo Gura Yes, I can see what is meant. I feel that it is possible to speed read a couple of books and re-read them doing the speed reading techniques. This is what the book is about comprehension and speed. Also, underlining for re-reading saves time for a great book. I still can learn a lot from the speed reading techniques. 

    I don't know to what extend you "amped" up the wpm to test speed reading. To say that you read normally. Also, not sure how fast normal is for you, some just read fast and say it is normal. Like around 800-1200 wpm. 

    When something is important I slow down. I can see how nuanced that is and I take notes always. Besides when reading in bed. Or some more contemplative books.

    For e.g speed reading the dao de jing won't provide much value

    I re-read a couple of books on the list again to gain more comprehension and understanding. 

  6. Posted · Edited by ValiantSalvatore

    I decided to go with another journal here. I somehow lost my habit which has been active for the last 3 years and stopped somewhere around mid to late 2018. With my habit of physically journaling.

    I bought a different format and tried again because I use a bullet journal to keep track of daily tasks and to do's. Also, in about one month I have completed the life purpose course. I did tactical reviews of the lp when I felt it was needed and looked at single episodes.

    As I reviewed the life purpose course, I was a bit surprised that I achieved half of my goals and missed half of my goals. Fully knowing why and that some of it were inevitable. Some circumstances can't be changed. Yet, I do not have the strength to make a couple of ten of thousands of dollars yet while studying, to support my family. Even if everything works out quite well. There have been some setbacks which just throw me off emotionally.

    For potential readers! A warning I sometimes become abusive with the way I use language, also in real life. This is one thing that I became conscious of is toxic and I googled some causes, some are just ridiculous. Yet, this is mostly in extreme cases. Still, here I won't hold back to some degree. Because sometimes humans are so blind, and if I can't even write stuff like this into my journal, then to hell with it!  I'll become vocal if the situation/circumstance calls for it.

    This will be a longer entry as a first entry. I did an entry in my digital journal via OneNote in advance as I prepared the review of my LP today. I definitely want to learn from others and from some books on how to stay organized, I've been yelled at my whole life (not that it is a big story anymore), yet when taking the BIG 5 aspect test I score very very low, even if my environment does not necessarily reflect that. In the 2nd percentile. I've seen wors tbh.

    What do intend to do with this journal? 

    Reminding myself that I am doing something that is fun. I like to read posts on this forum and been a lurker in the past. Some posts have valid insights, now Quora is also very very good and potentially better. Yet, the point is that I did the LP-Course and I definitely won't get any insights about LSD/DMT etc. substances etc. Also, to remind myself that I am connected to others in this process since this is one value on my list. 

    The next section will partially go into my review of my lp

    Current positive Habits:

    Working out 5 times a week with the freeletics app inside or outside the gym

    Morning Meditation 1h (See, hear, feel, broad float, choiceless awareness) 
    Weekly check-in with Shinzen Youngs Life Practice Programm
    Attending 14 days minimum of retreats (6 days of the list, still have 3-weekend retreats left to do)
    Scheduling each day in the morning via bullet journal


    Habits being implemented:
    Sleeping schedule maxing out going to bed from at 22:30 (1h over now)
    Deep Work currently listening to the audiobook

    Shaky Habits:
    Sleeping schedule maxing out going to bed from at 22:30 (1h over now) waking up at 06:00

    Lost Habits:
    Journaling

    Shadow work
    Cold Showers

    Skills acquired:
    Some skills in android programming

    Some skills in C#

    Some skills in Java programming

    Speed Reading 

    (Other weird stuff)

    Skills being acquired:
    Java and Android programming currently

    LPI0 Certificat to deal with Linux and the command line

    Shaky skills:
    Speed Reading 

    Skills lost:

    C++ ..... (which still pisses me of)


    Kaizen(Small things that could add up over time)

    Things that I do:
    Waking up early
    Meditation 1h
    Micro hits and background practice
    Meditating while walking to class
    Meditating while listening to a boring lecture...
    Caring about health
    Reading 10 pages when going to bed or even only 5-2 pages.

    Shaky things I do:
    On off visualizations before going to bed for 10 min
    Doing the cbt exercise. Sometimes I know it is important. 
    (I will do a 30-day challenge since this has been unsuccessful)


    Things that I want to do: 
    Yoga especially Hata-Yoga
    Dedicating more time to Java development (Design Patterns I bought a book last year)
    Learning C++ (Bought a book for 10 euro)
    Finish the inner engineering course that I bought( I had my birthday ok, even though the course is... not good!)

    Things that I am currently not doing (only positive):
    Drinking and partying
    Playing video games
    Watching TV
    Hanging out with toxic people ( I kicked out two old friends for various reasons)


    That is about it. I still struggle with being orderly or even thinking of an orderly structure. I noticed as a "survival tactic" I piece together knowledge, facts, ideas, statements, conclusions, etc and ideally piece them together in one single coherent presentation or note. I keep practicing and throw away notes that have no use, till I can repeat everything blindfolded. 

    Otherwise, I attend a class voluntarily, but I don't feel that I learn anything from it. I left it for now considering only going from time to time. It is nice and such, but not the real deal. I could learn to read papers... as if I never did that in my free time... (yes irony), otherwise I have a Prof. for my bachelors thesis and an internship, also with the same prof, so I can extend a project, which has been the voluntary project I did this year, also with the same prof. 

    What else do I intend to do with this journal?

    • Write once a day or once a week as a reflection about the content, I know I will ruminate and ideally ponder about these things. Yet, I want to get these on a sheet of paper or digital paper to reduce the negative rumination and reflect constructively and coherently
    • Remind my self this is a process not a means to an end. 
    • Having fun, I can read other's journals and be inspired. When I was in China a traveler gave me his journal entries describing how he went through Japan with his bike! Alone! More details are omitted. 
    • Thinking about habits, discipline, and mastery. Since this is what I lack the most at the moment, but this is where I take the most action also! 
    • In general, to get some things off my chest. 
       


    Reflection

    So, here I go then I'll go to bed since I am at this exact moment 1h and 15 min beyond what I schedule. I will dive into the process of how I will combine this with my bullet journal, potentially this will work to a greater extent than my physical journal. Which I'll use for the occasional shadow work.


    I did not read these two articles completely and I still ask myself some time, when I'll actually take notes or if I'll ever do it and such partially highly complex subjects. After my kriya experience in January of February this year. I gained a lot more insight in what I want to do what meditation and supernatural phenomena could be like. For instance, makio which I bet have some chemical or biological mechanism. (Like DMT in the dark).  I recently had a couple of flashes of weird pictures and images as I closed my eyes. Not like on LSD I listened to someone who did a Vipassana retreat and had these visuals and called these enlightenment experiences. Which is just Makyo. IMO

    Now I saw a picture of an old lady or guy in grey and white right in front of me as I closed my eyes. The other two pictures I forgot. While I attended the retreat where I had the kriya experience. I noticed that the contours of thoughts, feeling or mental talk from outside or inside can shape right in front or inside the darkness that I can see when I close my eyes and look at my eyelids. I saw an OX during the retreat, yet just the face. TBH I literally thought nature would kill me. There were so many non-normal noises occurring right next to me. A couple of days later I heard myself screaming through a river. I really thought I lost it. TBH LSD felt safer... now I know that this was a Kriya experience and that it is somewhat normal. I did not go fully into the lunatic scale. 

    So, the new phenomenon is that I feel at my brain stem where the vagus nerve runs through I feel that there is stirring obviously I speculate. The two links under Makyo below even explain that this is samskaras seeing past lives etc. I had so many odd fking insights because of personality theory that I've been reading on the net for XX years. Let's just see what happens. I love it that Shinzen is so interactive and that I could write, text him about such stuff. Truly a 21st century non-dual, saint, sage, shaman etc. Enough wannabe credit. 

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makyo
    https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metencephalon
    https://wiki.yoga-vidya.de/Samskara#Alte_Samskaras_als_Hindernisse_f.C3.BCr_die_Meditation

    I still am in love with zen and when I move out of this apartment or move to do my masters into a different city. I will definitely dive more into minimalism. Here is a video from the zen master where I did a three-day retreat this year and a 14-day retreat last year in France. 

     

  10. Posted · Edited by ValiantSalvatore

    I think intuition is accesible at every stage of the spiral. 

    The more I become conscious of survival tactics, strategies and dynamics. The better I could utilize them and transcend them slowly. 

    For instance purple imagination and beliefs describe the territory in an abstract way and can be a guide therefore. 

    Or red power drives ideas and hunches serve to outmanouver a person in a game. 

    Orange success drive and ambition spotting "loop" holes in a system absuing them or reporting them. 

    Beige: Different brain waves cause different kind of thinking intuitive or not. For instance more attentivness then dreamy imaginary "intuition". 

    Yellow: connects single points of modalities or ideas and forms an unconventional system. 

    I think at third tier first intuition is post survival or it is a new survival game.

    Green: Uses intuition to bond an share empathy not based soley on kinship or family tribes. For instance compassion to help a person across the street, for instance the elderly. 

    Turqouise: Has insights about humanitry problems for instance after a meditation session and finds macro solutions to macro problems. 

    No idea about spirit releam. I think terms like "makio" is stage red/purple fantasy (not that it can not be experienced), most likely I am wrong with this. 

  12. Posted

    That is unfortunate... is it possible to reduce that? 

    I never checked smth. like this yet did a small  haemogram this year. They said I have iron deficency, so I am taking supplements. 

    My family has some unfortunate cases with alzheimers diseas, fortunately meditation prevents that. So.. I am trying to convince my mom to do meditation, but she does a lot of sports. Biking, swimming, jogging. 

    The classics basically. 

  14. Posted

    @kieranperez I am going to be a bit pedantic or nitpicky, you wrote deactivated did you delete the apps or deactivate only the notifications? 

    I started using IG this year and it became a distraction and now it is time to focus, so I deleted the app. I did not use it and have no incentive to do so. 

    Considering how much time people spend on their phones a nice small tip that helps me is to turn my phone to silent. I dislike getting messages when listening to audiobooks,also turning of notifications of apps that are not important and urgent.

    I listened to a ted talk once where they mentioned the root cause for addiction is lack of social interactions and bondings. In case you can meet up with people which would enhance your life quality that would help. It would also aid with being more mindful of the addiction itself. This is smth. I struggle with, yet this small town is also just crap. 

    If you can exchange the habit with reading that would be great or some other positive activity. Also, when you did the LP consider doing the exercise again on breaking bad habits. Worked for me with video games. 

    Then you'll also notice your own incentives to turn towards the habit of social media usage.

    I still heavily use Youtube. In case you have a TV you can sell that crap, a couple of succesful people recommended to me. They keep it to test stuff and watch the news, potentially a film or so. I do not own a TV currently. 

    Phone is a bit more tricky? I broke my phone a couple of times and used a old one which just breaks the need to use it. Also... I want to constantly pratice meditation in daily life, so I actually enjoy nature a lot more and use walking as a pratice. In case that could be helpful. It's way more fascinating to look at details and symbols inside a city, or landscapds. 

    The question here could be how do I not end up as them? I don't like how people are glued to their phones, in case you've ever been to asia this is a whole new level.... enjoying nature and using some tools for instance webblocker which blocks a site for a specific time works just wonders.. 

  15. Posted · Edited by ValiantSalvatore

    @kieranperez

    9 hours ago, kieranperez said:

    @ValiantSalvatore I mention yoga because yoga has very direct practices for purifying and opening up the body. I know the technique you bring up. Those kinda of practices are extremely hard for me because conjuring up those feeling states are always intertwined with deep guilt, loss, shame, fear, anxiety, etc. I’m very shut off from that sort of stuff if I don’t address the trauma I have in my body. Meditation right now for me is almost impossible because of how much unconscious tension I have in my chest and throat to the point where breathing is difficult. Whenever I can get a breakthrough in energetic/psychic releases like through Shamanic breathing or a great breakthrough on psychedelics it’s a totally different story. 

    Yoga is a much more holistic system I comparison to any traditional spiritual practice I’ve yet to come across. 

    I get too easily lost with Shinzens practices in the different modalities. Which is hard because Im very conceptual and I like nuanced stuff but in practice it’s a distraction for me 

    I am sure I get what is meant with projecting even on a physical level and energetic / attraction level. 

    For instance when I feel into this pain in the solar plexus or breath I instantly get goose bumps over my whole body. Sometimes events occure where I think, jup that was definitely the old me attracting that stuff. (on whatever level) 

    Yes for me it is the same it felt very difficult to create these feelings and they still do, the easiest thing I found is excitment that is even an advicr given in a course about learning. To reinterpret fear as excitment, kinda let's you feel like a compeptitve psychopath or rather a crazy creative student during exams. 

    Still, this is what I just noticed now I also did on the cushion. So, dunno if that "insight" could bear any fruits. 

    So, yes the feeling is tainted/touched/sullied by these samskaras constantly, they influence thinking, feeling and behaviour that is somewhat fk'd part about it. 

    My release was ultra spontaneous, even LSD did not make me feel this spot so intensly, even when I also cried during an LSD experience heavily.

    I heard a sound during the retreat snap there it goes. Happend two times out of my own incapability (this was the thought behind it) of taking care of my mother properly and most likely the "imprinted" madness of it all that runs as a script inside my skull, often. At least these were my thoughts. 

    Considering yoga thanks for the information! I have not looked deeply into it, yet I assumed that it goes deeper, since they use chakras as their system. Hope this will be fun. Especially the yoga life style and feelings inside th body.

    Also, yes I talk a lot about Shinzen. He mentions that feelings is the biggest unconsciousness factor, from these three things. Sound, image, feeling. 

    So, I was triggered by sound. Not sure what happens by image or feeling. Sound is the "shallowest" then image then feel in consideration of their unconscious depth. 

    I hope my text is readable or cohesive enough. CBT definitely helps with limiting beliefs and attracting/being triggered by these circumstance. For instance feeling unworthy or questioning my "loveabillity" or my tendency to blame and taking on responsibility. All of this changed I can understand that you want to skip this part, I would not dismiss it, and work directly on a deeper and more profound lvl on it. 

    I can tell after the release I am less triggered about stuff that is about my persona/ego-self or simply me. 

    Also, shadow work helps me not to project onto others very much, people love to do this with me for what ever reason. (i could come up with a few), somehow I am less aware of these subtle projections, and definitely less affected. Most likely people stop projecting potentially since I am actually embodying the behaviour denied. Or I am just less triggered. 

    I stayed with some basic self-help stuff since this is what I could utilize with the ressources presented here. Some of this stuff is quite insane that it is free. When I see a psychotherapist would offer it and used it in the past

     

     

     

  18. Posted

    @kieranperez

    27 minutes ago, kieranperez said:

    I mention yoga because yoga has very direct practices for purifying and opening up the body. I know the technique you bring up. Those kinda of practices are extremely hard for me because conjuring up those feeling states are always intertwined with deep guilt, loss, shame, fear, anxiety, etc. I’m very shut off from that sort of stuff if I don’t address the trauma I have in my body. Meditation right now for me is almost impossible because of how much unconscious tension I have in my chest and throat to the point where breathing is difficult. Whenever I can get a breakthrough in energetic/psychic releases like through Shamanic breathing or a great breakthrough on psychedelics it’s a totally different story. 

    Yes, this is where shinzens approach shines imo, yet I did not approach any other system fully yet. I tried various techniques. Besides Kriya Yoga, yet I really want to get into Hatha-Yoga for the same reasons as you to open up the body and trauma repressed emotions in the body.

    Well, I can give you Shinzens perspective it in is most likely the most modern version without much technical jargon in other systems. The feelings inside the body are repressed or not fully experienced emotions called sanskaras in Sanskrit. I mean if you go by language Sanskrit is the language which comes from the Hindu tradition.

    The word samskara means according to what I can recall grooves or old grooves. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samskara_(Indian_philosophy)

    Which is old accumulated stuff, that has not been fully processed. 

    I know exactly what you mean when you say that you have trauma in my body, I felt similar a couple of years ago and addressed this place in my solar plexus solely! With mindfulness and acceptance sometimes with a loving-kindness practice. At the beginning, it felt as if it were a hot stab with a knife and a deeply rooted scar, yes also a wounded child in a sense, since I felt my family caused this feeling by blaming a lot. I could dive deeper into it.

    Yet, I had my first full release (chakra release/cleanse) last retreat over a weekend and I can understand why people go crazy. Yet, it felt so good in the original term it is coined it fully makes sense, that it is a cleansing process aka kriya. I saw my solar-plexus pumping in front of me while I cried.

    Now, it feels more... inactive and like a stinky speck of oil. Yet it hurts still a lot.

    Feel flow in Shinzens Paradigm most likely works with "prana" "kundalini" "energy" in the body, yet I can't draw distinctions since I do not know the definitions of prana and kundalini well.

    Anyway, this is my perspective here shinzen talks about Kriyas. Also, yes I had a full authentic release and even talked with shinzen about it saying that. So, this stuff is definitely possible. But, quite intense more the nut case syndrome afterwards for me... not the experience per se. 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9AHh9MvgyQ

  19. Posted

    @kieranperez yeah shunya sounds solid I watched a couple of videos before, yet found him to be a bit con artist. 

    Sounds great I never tried Yoga rigorously, yet will try it soon more seriously. 

    Shinzen has a technique called feel good, hear good etc. 

    https://www.shinzen.org/nurture-positive/

    Not sure if this would be to mind oriented. Yet, this would adress the problems stated. I can't really maintain a 1h feel good pratice, I also want to do it rather via body and yoga. 

    I mean I can, but it is more difficult. I pretty much have the same problems you write about in yohr posts. So, I can relate and empathise a lot lol. 

    Yet, definitely try and do some more cbt, I did it before I bought the LP course through a book via Leo's booklist. It is quite mind boogling with a meditation pratice how recurrent patterns in thought change. 

  20. Posted · Edited by ValiantSalvatore

    @kieranperez You can try a more rational approach with cbt. (I also tried shinzens approach or a loving kidness approach) 

    I looked into Auto Hypnosis after this video just today and tried it, with a Youtube video of AutoHypnosis. 

     

    I did not watch the whole Shunymurti video, yet considering Leo's answer this may be a way to advanced way. I like Shinzens approach to this since it is more modern. I'll watch more of Shinyamurti though. 

  21. Posted

    @oMarcos hey, 

    i have similar experiences when lying down to meditate, my body and sensory experience start to relax. While I see a flash of a thinned out version of white light from time to time

    I also just read in the spiral dynamics book, that this is can happen and is more of a third tier, transrational phenomenon. 

    I personally think it could be a hint to no self, but that is just mere speculation.

  22. Posted · Edited by ValiantSalvatore

    @electroBeam May I ask you where you feel this specific feeling of procrastination / adhd in your body? 

    I've read that the solar plexus stores prana on the net, and want to get into Hatha-Yoga relatively soon. 

    For instance I am going with my personal pratice there and if I recall correctly, shinzen also mentions that. You can re-train your nervous system. I especially feel that when I do his technique that this is possible. There are two kinds of nervous systems PNS and SNS. I never dug deep into it besides from a holistic coach on YouTube.

    Who combines PD with a lot of pratical scientific approaches and unconvential systems from the east.

    I just notice in daily meditation practice how subtle tensions stirs my behaviour and brain, especially to do and react to certain aspects. 

    https://youtu.be/KlpXGXZ_dT0

    (Won't embed the video, here Shinzen talks about the relationship of the brain with the body, in a bit more detail, hence the title) 

    Especially, by going with intuition here or hunches, my compulsivness and "neurotic" tendencies have been greatly reduced by my meditation pratice. Also, work outs and more healthy foods, feels like it's retraining my nervous system. But the process is so slow. 

    Any thoughts similar to this?