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About oMarcos

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  • Birthday 08/06/1993

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  1. I am leaving this forum/ Leo teaching's and here is why: I became too obsessed with the idea of achieving magickal peace, and also the obsession for knowledge about spiritual material, which is creating conflict with my practices. I just want to know everything I could possibly imagine, infinite knowledge at my disposal, and meanwhile this might see a good thing, too much of it becomes toxic. You can call it Obsessive Learning Disorder. Leo is an amazing and outstanding teacher: I cried, I laughed, I got anxious (ego death alert), I got mad... but at the end of the day the Guru is Within. No matter how long you search, no matter how many questions you ask, in the end you'll need to throw that away, and I feel it's time for me. I will focus on my practices, I have had enough of theory. Theory is the Hangover of Dharma. I will focus on mundane activities such as: cooking, studying pharmacy, improve my photography and blog writing website, reading books. Books are ok! I just just don't have anymore strenght to follow someone else's path, I will focus on myself and follow my intuition, I don't have any other choice. If everything is me, me is choosing. I have tons of respect for everyone on this forum who want to become a better person, we all have the best intentions, but I also notice how chasing perfection can kill our hability to stay on the present (my situation). And although I might not be presently the current and ultimate Actualized Person (and I'll never will, I am constantly morphing), I will instead grow slowly in peace, there is no end for growth, why the rush to reach an end that doesn't exist. Thanks to everyone I had come across and shared positivity on this forum. I'm fading away, to other realms of information. Change is growth.
  2. You are free, thank you.
  3. This cute 8-Bit melody sums up my entire made up personality.
  4. I already had several non dual experiences with lucid dreaming. Magick! It's possible.
  5. The Mind grasps infinity in a very paradoxical way. The mind cannot grasp the idea of an non-existent universe, it can only grasp existence. The mind is actually proving to itself that Finite Universe is impossible. The same way, Universal Mind could never stop Being and End, it doesn't have any place to go... can only exist. "I'm the freedom man I was doing time in the universal mind I was feeling fine I was turning keys, I was setting people free I was doing all right"
  6. FAMILY per instance, it's real hard for me sometimes to talk with them, there is too much false expectations of who they think I am, and I can't play that game, with family, I can only stand interactions about general things and never about me, if its particularly about me it will end in discussion and anxiety. So per instance, I never talk to them about my pesonal life (if I am dating someone etc.) And they act like I am cold or that I don't care about them. I just really want to avoid ego fights, their worldview is completely different than mine, we will never understand each other (from the ego perspective). And I have no interest about trying to be underatood either, I am the manifest, why should I care. I am in peace about this, I don't want to feel bad just because I avoid getting to personal with my own family, I just want peace above all. With other people is almost the same story, but less personal, so there is less danger of ego fights, but I can't stand to be with them for too long if they are not sharing my worldviews. Leo talked about this I know. Worldview is very important to me, I can't stand anything that could compromisse that. I even get absurdly anxious if I see the TV on the newachannel in my family house, I just close my hears and go far away for the silence. I feel threat of being brainwashed. No tv news, no bad news, no dealing with people that make you feel different from your worldviews, none of that. Solitude is bliss. But don't get me wrong. I enjoy being with people, as long I feel my worldviews are not judged, I am ok. The problem thoug is that I feel this threat even when there is no threat. Like I said before: TV news, bad youtube channels, praising celebritys, earing people eating (misophonia) , and a few other things, make me feel a ton of anxiety. After watching leo's episode on survival, I know that this is all me protecting me from something, It's my worldview. So the question is, how do you deal with others and the mainstream world in order to keep yourself sane from all the lies and self deception around you?
  7. I see, a self inquiry party
  8. Round, because I've seen the moon is a bit round too Trees do have roots, but I can't tell where is the exact point where they end. The fire ball is behind the clouds, but the light rays go further than the clouds, so I think the "sun" is everywhere animals understand the language of their own specie drak brown probably? I've never seen it in 1sr person Sometimes I feel horny, sometimes I feel cold. So I guess it's bot a scam and a true concern.
  9. Love can't be passive, just active. Love must do it, it doesn't wait. This might seem a very dirty scenario, but for me is very spiritual. Working shadows is like fucking that little bitch. Love the shadow, make love with the shadow, the shadow becomes passive towards me, not ahead of me.
  10. that's also because she is afraid to be alone, and need some purpose im her life
  11. I agree @hamedsf we need water, food, sex, shelter, these are foundational needs. But sex is not always possible. are you implying that self-development is harder if the need for sex is not acomplished? I am not trying to avoid it, I totally embrace it, I just try to not make that such a big deal to my life, but maybe the body needs it like water and we try to be cool with it. maybe Freud was right about sex and human neurosis in some extent
  12. I am aware of Survival needs. But I see it aswell as body pleasure. Many things we do for survival needs are also pleasure. survival can be pleasure. If you said this "Relatively simple, what is the essence of sex? Pleasure" would be a lesser truth? after all this is all word games we're playing here @Omni
  13. That feeling you might know. Thinking things such as : "I feel hot and handsome but not trying to get laid as I should". It's not that i am obsessed with sex itself (I love to f*ck honestly), It's the subtle thought that I should be doing it more often as if that meant I was having a fullfiled life as I should. I've been doing shadow work the entire afternoon, and after finishing I got bored and ended up watching some porn, and she said "OMG It's so deep" and I felt like the shadow work it's less important than having a girl saying that sort of stuff to me. This is a bit silly, but you get the point, also the same goes for self development, seems like Sex it's always calling no matter how hard you try to grow. I was thinking that maybe the need for sex will not necessarily ever end, what could change is to evolve for a more mature point of view, but wich point of view would that be exactly?
  14. this is very cute but maybe It's not because of humans