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About BjarkeT
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- Birthday 09/26/1996
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I think this topic is really important and can change your life. basically the better judgement your have about what you say do or decision making the more satisfied you will become with your decision. poor judgement will lead to poor life choices while a good judgement can lead to the good life I believe. please consider doing a video on this. Thank you.
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BjarkeT started following How to have a good sense of judgement
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Any advice on how to build true genuine friendships? I feel like everyone around me is pretending to like me and aren’t really their true self due to their awareness of my social anxiety which makes them extremely careful. It like they think more about my social anxiety then the actual me. How can you get past all that pretending stuff and connect with who they actually are?
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BjarkeT started following How to truly connect to people?
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I am almost 25 and still virgin. I don't get why some peoples self esteems is so low because they don't have sex. Your self esteem should be no problem with out sex.
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Cal Newport talks about boredom in Deep Work. It might be interesting for you to read.
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I personal think quality can be a trap. If you only focus on quality you spend too much time plannnig and not actually creating(in creative fields) and spending too much time trying to make everything perfect however if someone else focus on quantity in the meantime they will have a lot more practice in diffrent things and more experience which in the end will create better results. It's another one of those counterintuitive things in life. I would love to hear Leos thoughts on this.
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BjarkeT started following quantity vs quality
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BjarkeT started following Why don't we just spend more time just to think?
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something I have been thinking about is why don't we spend more time just nothing but to think? The brain is the most complex thing we yet have discovered in the universe so why not use it more? We could spend the time contemplating about the problems we are dealing with and try comming up with solutions for example or what we want out of life but we mostly just go through our day doing what we need to do without actually setting the time to just think. Whens the last time where you set time of just for thinking? I imagine doing so might help create more awareness. Just curious what are you guys thoughts about this?
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@7thLetter If you really want to have a relationship with her you main goal with the phone should be to set up meetings so you can see her in real life and create attraction.
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You shouldn't try to gain a girls interest through text. You have to do it in real life if at all. "I'm thinking that I either send her a text acknowledging my mistakes that the texts I sent her back then were awkward or cringe" Probably shouldn't. It may come off as "beta". "or a simple "Hey how's it been." This would probably be better. But you should have a mindset that there are many fish in the sea so to speak not just one special one.
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Don't rely on motivation instead rely on discipline and having a good system. If you feel like it or not is irrelevant just do it. Also instead of being driving by motivation which only last so long. Be Driven by purpose instead which can last for years.
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What I recommend is first start something that is interesting to you then always try to get better at it. The better you are at something the more likely it is to feel like a passion. You don't need to think too much if a specefic thing is right for you or if there is something better out there just pick something you like. You should check out Cal Newports book So Good They Can't Ignore You which goes in detail on how to find your passion. If you are interested in the "how" of getting good I recommend checking out Peak by Anders Ericsson. Or bassically read a lot of stuff about Deliberate Practice. If you are unsure about what to pick just explore different interests(Drawing, Music, Film, Science etc.) until you find something that interest you.
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You could find a passion. That's what I do with my free time. Practicing a lot of piano and composing music. Try to find something that interest you and get really good at it.
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1# Family. 2# Friends. 3# Music.
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@Anirban657 You are welcome hope it works out for you
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Regarding social anxiety which I have my self what works for me at least is to allow your self to fully feel the anxiety and accept how you feel again and again. That procces might help reduce it over time but medicin also helps. If we don't allow ourself to fully feel each emotions they will be stuck in our body so we have to release it by fully feeling it for it to be "gone". Regarding stress related to working too much what helps me is to have at least one day off and take frequent breaks. Something that might help you is Cal Newports Shutdown ritual which should help release stress but I think you should give the course a try but probably lower your expectations so you won't be dissapointed if it doesn't go 100% to your expectations.
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It probably depends on what source of your anxiety and depression is. Depending on what the source is you may even need a different solution but it would likely be a good start to open up to other people about how you feel.