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About BjarkeT

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  1. some of the things I can think of at the moment would probably be to solve problems permanently or try to deliberately practice your conversation skills(you could, for example, doing a specific exercise, for example, only practicing introducing your self to others or a specific part of conversations where you would normally get stuck) maybe there is some good books here that could be useful hope you can use it good luck
  2. maybe try to talk to strangers more often and see if you can make friends that way or think of as many ways as possible you can be social(think about what an extrovert would do for example) maybe after thinking about it a bit my self before I have found its pretty easy to come up with ideas to be social but not always as easy as doing it in practice maybe optimize your social schedule as much as you think you can manage maybe also try to stretch more and more over time how much you are social it may help getting friends more frequently
  3. performing/composing music because i was very inspired very young and wanted to try it two others i have chosen is personal development to improve my personal life learning how to learn to be able to learn things faster and more effectively
  4. i would say just get good at something interesting and meaning full if you go with cal newports approach (he argues that any path that seems interesting should be equally rewarding or at least something similar)
  5. i haven't been able to do work hard play hard in practice(at least not in an extreme way) but it seems like an interesting idea
  6. what i have tried so far is to have the mindset of: do whatever it takes to succeed no matter how you feel (But also make sure you recover enough so you can be productive the next day) or pick a specific day where you are absolutely sure you will get the task done but i have never been obsessed with the work just found a good reason to do it to deal with distractions it helps for me to either time stretch how long i can go without it or for example make sure you don't have any distractions that can interrupt you before you begin i think it helps to get free time if you schedule when you work and only work in those hours(time blocking) what i have found so far with boredom is just believe that your reason is strong enough and push through the boredom but not sure if that is the most effective way i have found it useful to figure out before you being to think about how you can do the work most effectively and create a project so you know what to work on to get the most out of the work in the long run i think it helps to both schedule when you work and when you will recover and take both part equal as serious so you both get the work done and get enough rest those are some of the things i have tried so far
  7. @cirkussmile why not? isn't knowing who you are and the question he is asking unrelated?(i mean he could figure out who he is if he doesn't already and still not know the answer to the question) you could know who you are but that doesn't mean you have the answer for all questions you can think of that actually impossible it would mean you never could know who you are because there is an infinite amount of questions you can ask you can even ask questions about questions you already asked
  8. sorry but how is figuring out who you are answer the question? how do you know he doesn't know who he is?
  9. i think it comes down to how the study is done if you look at how they figured it out then its very likely you will get the answer (sometimes there are a research paper going into details in how they figured it out) for example if i remember right with grit i haven't looked into the study in details but they studied a lot of people in different situations and then probably analyzed it and what they found was that those who had more grit turn out to be more successful than those who didn't those who didn't have as much grit wasn't able to succeed difficult challenges
  10. @cirkussmilesorry but how is that going to help someone who has suicidal thoughts? @Thanatos13 i really hope everything turns out well related to the purpose there is actually done research on if there is a purpose but it depends one which on you mean as it can have serval meanings, for example, something called pre-existing purpose(all you need to do is find your purpose then you will be happy) vs craft man mindset (getting really good at something meaningful is what give you purpose/passion) cal newport argues that the idea of a pre exsisting one in most cases doesn't exist and one who goes with the craft man mindset is morelikely to have passion about what they do credits goes to cal newport from so good they can't ignore you
  11. Maybe you could do it through books you don't really have to interact with any one if you don't want to and you can still share great knowlegde usually getting good at ones life purpose doesn't require to interact with people as to getting good comes from working on your craft (example if it's being a writer the skills you need to write a good book) so i would say that life purpose and people skills are two different things in case you haven't watched them i hope these can be useful maybe it would be a good idea to get a coach where you can talk about what's preventing you and find a good solution
  12. may be helpful but nothing is really gonna chance unless you take action on it you could keep posting on the forums about this but it won't make a difference unless you take action I don't recommend to do a cold approach it's better to be authentic than something that's not you if that's the case there are some consequences of not being authentic (for example one of the things could be that the things you do never really will feel authentic) it may also have some consequences later in the relationship if they thought you where a cold kinda guy but it turns out later a completely different guy maybe some of the key things I can think of from past experience or from being around others is at the beginning see if you can either make her interested in you or fall in love with you literally the first time you meet (it helps to make her laugh) and it may help to figure out how it works to have one relationship for a long (or longer) period of time (but it's important that you aren't being manipulative) Maybe some things that can help is that I have heard that it can be useful to be around friends to look more attractive it may also help to be around her frequently as long as it isn't in a needy way but to spend *quality time* with her and if one spend to much time away from her it may become like a long distance relationship something else may be to really try to get a big picture understanding of how relationships/dating etc. works and then deliberately practice it(it may help to think of the things you think may have the biggest value or make the biggest positive difference and then research more about it or alternatively try to observe what others do and then try to think about what made them successful and then research more about it) I personally think that the quality of practice is more important than quantity of practice it may help to think about how you can improve the quality of your practice(so you gain quicker results in less time) at least this is true when people studied virtuoso musicians something separate is that I don't recommend doing a lot of different things it may be best to stick with one thing and then get really good at it(I recommend so good they can't ignore you from Cal Newport for more details) it may also help with a dating coach if you can find someone I am not sure if trip advice is one but I highly recommend him if he is (the left guy in the video above) i am sure that it could work to find someone through hobbies etc. but it may give you an advantage if you both have the same interest(in case you haven't already tried it this way) I don't see why not i hope it was help full
  13. Alternativ may be to try this
  14. May be relevant i think its an interesting video
  15. I am sure it can but it may also be important how it's shared for example if it's just forced down on you you may be more likely to resist it than if you where given just the truth the proof to back up the claim so you can make your own decision and as its done in a more friendly way it may be more welcomed or if it done in a way that make it interesting